DISCLAIMER: I don't own Harry, Ron, Hermione or any other Harry Potter Characters (except maybe Draco. ;).. Ok fine! I don't own him either!). They are all J.K. Rowling's beautiful creations - lucky her!

PG-13: (not quite yet, eventually)

Summary: Ron and Hermione attempt a potion that goes. well wrong for Harry and Ron.

// and * = thoughts (mostly Hermione's thoughts) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Terribly Wrong Potion By: J_J

"So Harry, Do you have a crush on Hermione?" Ron asked the Boy-Who-Lived while Hemione just rolled her eyes.

"He can't hear you, you know? He's knocked out. We should probably take him to the Hospital Wing, I don't know what went wrong!"

"So Harry you don't like Hermione right because I was gonna ask her out you know. She is mine! I call dibs on her!"

Hermione's jaw dropped to the floor as she stared in awe at the red-haired boy. Chirp Chirp- no one but the crickets in the corner of the empty room answered - Harry was lying on the floor, completely unconscious. Hermione finally broke the silence.

"Ron... I *can* hear you!"

"hun. what... OH Hermione. when did you get here?" Ron darted his eyes away. he's ears turned red, hoping she hadn't heard him "Harry - you don't think Hermione heard me do you.?"

Hermione stared, that's all she could do. Why was Ron such an idiot? More so today then most.

*although he is pretty cute..* Hermione thought.

"Ron... I can still hear you..."

"oh... Harry I think Hermione knows I'm going to ask her out"

"Ron... What did you eat today? Why are you acting so weird? Ron. what happened to you? Oh, well that doesn't matter right now. We need to get Harry to the hospital wing. I don't think that truth potion worked. He is not supposed to be unconscious. Help me here will you?" Hermione was struggling to grab Harry's legs and lift him up as Ron mindlessly walked over to help lift the boy up.

As Ron and Hermione hauled Harry Potter to the Hospital Wing of the castle, Ron was trying to get enough courage to ask Hermione out. If not for the fact that she heard him talking about it two seconds before she'd have been worried. No... She was still worried.

"So.. Um. I was um. heh heh heh.. nice day huh?" Ron stammered.

"Hey Ron, when we gave Harry that potion did you... oh I dunno.... Did you drink any of it?"

"um.. well when I threw the beetle legs in some splashed on my chocolate frogs... why do you ask..?" Ron asked Hermione and then started to direct his attention to the heavy boy who he was carrying down the corridor. "Harry, why won't you answer me? Now you're just being rude. Do you think Hermione would go out with me...? I can't believe I didn't notice she was a girl until 4th year. Oh and she sure is a girl too. did you see her legs? Best legs I've ever seen before. BUT I CALL DIBS! SHE'S MINE! She has a nice rack too."

"RON!"

"wha... what.. Oh hi Hermione... did you just get here?" Ron went red at the ears.

"ARGH! Just help me here. Oh wait, how stupid of me.. Wingardium Leviosa." And with that, Harry hovered over the ground.

"What are you doing Harry? Harry, do you know your floating?"

"HE CAN'T HEAR YOU! The potion went wrong, honestly Ron what's wrong with you? You better let Madame Pomfrey take a look at you too."

As Hermione, Ron, and a very unconscious Harry, entered the Hospital Wing, they over heard a very funny conversation.. How did it go? Something like this..

"Look I told you, I added a simple rose petal and then *BOOM!* Harry crashed to the ground immediately. oh god, it was so funny!" This particular laughing voice came from no other then the Prince of Slytherin himself, Draco Malfoy.

"Oh I'm gonna get him!" Hermione raged. "Come on!" Hermione dragged Ron by the collar, whom seemed to be in a very interesting conversation with Harry about none other then Hermione.

"wha... huh? Oh... Hi, Malfoy... do you think I should ask Hermione out.. I know her hair is a little bushy and her teeth are a bit big - but have you noticed what else is big? Wink wink. Oh, hi Hemione." And the pink ears returned.

"Thank you for making me the center of your universe but HONESTLY RON! I'VE BEEN HERE THE WHOLE TIME! Could you please talk about me when I'm not here? Malfoy what did you do to the potion.. What did you turn it into?" Hermione fumed.

"Well I'm surprised Miss Mudblood Granger didn't figure it out." The truth is, however, Malfoy appeared to have no idea what he'd turned the potion into.

"Yeah? Well I'm sure you know what you did." Hermione rolled her eyes, "Now we're going to be in big trouble for screwing this up... thanks a lot,"

"Oh the pleasure is all mine." Draco smirked and bowed.

"Your not getting off this easily Malfoy! I'm going to tell Madame Pomfrey what you did!"

"Yeah? Tattletale added to you quality list too Mudblood?"

"You know what Malfoy? You're right, I'm not dropping to your level, but this is war. Nasty little fellows always get there comeuppances." Hermione narrowed her eyes. "Always."

"She's really quite lovely when she's angry, next time I talk to her I'm going to ask her out.." Ron babbled on to Harry, who was still floating in the air.

"Come on Ron! Malfoy. this is war."

TBC (soon!)

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A/N: Ok. I know this is probably really not a great place to stop but I'll be updating soon (faster with reviews. not that I live only for that purpose. *whistle whistle*.) This is my first fan fic please don't be to harsh! It'll get much more fluffy (don't you just love the fluff?) PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! It's doesn't take much time and it's all I want for Christmas, so make a girls wish come true and review!!!! Oh and have a Happy Christmas or Chanukah or holidays (or just have a happy day [or night]!) too all who read! (ps - did anyone notice that line from "The Mummy" I love that movie and I thought the line about 'comeuppances' perfectly describes lil ole Malfoy!) OH and credit for the "center of you're world" totally goes to my friend Heather - she's that genius who came up with that, thanks for letting me steal it for a bit!