Hello everybody. I decided I would give just another couple of chapters to my story "Jane Eyre - Alternate Ending" I wrote a while back. It's not in the same story because this chapters are rated M (yes, it's lemon), and I don't want to change the other story to M. Plus, it works without these new chapters.
Since they are rated M, you may guess there is sexual content. Yes, there is, so if you don't feel okay with it, or don't like that stuff, please feel free to leave, I don't want to offend anybody.
Disclaimer: I obviously don't own "Jane Eyre" or any of the characters in the book, I just borrowed them for an afternoon of writing and fun. It's all the work of Mrs. Bronte. Anyway, enjoy (to those who like this kind of stuff)
Again, please excuse my english, I hope this one is not flooded with mistakes :(
John had arrived with the carriage to take us back to Thornfield, we were now man and wife, the wedding had gone smoothly and without inconvenient, so different from my last attempt.
Thornfield was about two days away from Morton, and we began our journey. After saying good-bye to my cousins, and after John loaded my belongings into the carriage, we drove away from the place I called "home" for the last year.
I seated in one side of the carriage, looking through the window, the landscape cold, but at the same time, it held a beauty of purity and peace. Edward sat in front of me, Pilot on the floor of the carriage on the other corner, he was sleeping. My mind was a whirlwind. I was happy, excited, and nervous. Happy for finally having Edward by my side, this time no restraints, nothing that stood in our way. Excited, for the new life I was about to enter by his side. And nervous for the same reason, for my new life as his wife and mistress of Thornfield. I knew what was supposed to happen that night, and while I loved Edward so much and enjoyed our physical passion, I didn't really know what to do or expect. I had never known a man in that way, I didn't know what I was supposed to do, to say, to not do and not to say. I had no idea how to behave and act. Meanwhile, Edward was a man of the world, he had been with many women, his expectations of this night must be very high, and I was terrified to disappoint him.
I hadn't noticed I was quiet for at least half an hour, when Edward broke the silence.
"You are terribly quiet today, wife. Is there something troubling you? Come now, you can share your thoughts with your husband". Edward was being funny, he was using the word "husband" and "wife" too much, slipping those words in almost every sentence, ever since St. John had pronounced us that way.
His words had brought me back from my thoughts. "Nothing Edward, I'm fine, it's just…" and I stopped talking. I was frightened that my confession might annoy him.
-"Yes? carry on." he said, serious now.
-"I'm not sure what will happen tonight." I let it out, in a defeated air, I lowered my head and hid my gaze from his.
Edward's hand reached my chin and lifted my head, he wanted to look me in the eyes. When I did, I could see a tender smile in his lips. "My darling… are you frightened, or unsure? tell me, how do you feel."
-"I'm frightened. Never unsure. I know I love you, I want to be with you, I want to be a wife to you, it's just that…. I don't know what to do" I confessed.
Edward smiled, he stood up and changed seats to sit next to me. - "My love… the fact that you say "I don't know what to do" makes me love you even more. Just when I think I couldn't love you anymore than I already do, something you do or say proves me wrong, and my love keeps growing and growing." - He kissed my lips tenderly, his hand caressed my face, my hair. I reciprocated the kiss, l was used to his kisses, to his lips, to his taunting tongue burning me with something I couldn't quite tell what was it. Desire?
"As for "what happens tonight"… tell me Jane, what do you know or think happens in the wedding night? Do you have any clues, any idea, has anybody told you something, read something…?" he asked, as he took my hand between his own.
"Well… the first time we were about to marry, Mrs. Fairfax promised she would shed some light on the subject, but she never did. I guess we didn't have the time, or she felt uncomfortable talking about that. Then, Mary, Diana and me talked about it after you proposed to me, and what they know is almost as much as I do. We will both undress, we will be together, and our bodies will join. They say many women have expressed it's uncomfortable, painful too, but it's a wife's duty and one must fulfil it". I answered… and I didn't lie, I honestly didn't know anything else.
-"Ha!, no wonder why you are frightened. It sounds so dire put it in that way, specially to a young woman like yourself. Well Janet, it is true, it is expected on a wedding night to become one in the flesh, that man and wife normally undress and unite, but the way they have said it, it sounds like an obligation, a burden, rather than a pleasure and a bliss."
I smiled, a faint smile, then lowered my head again.
"Is something else wrong darling? Tell me, if you are not ready to enter this aspect of our life, I will wait, I want you to be comfortable with the whole concept" Edward asked again, he was very concerned for my mood.
"No Edward… I would never make you "wait" just for my insecurities. I knew what meant to be your "wife" when I accepted the first, time, second time and third time" Edward chuckled.
"but?…" Edward asked again.
"I'm also scared that I will disappoint you." I bluntly said.
"What? Are you serious Jane?" He frowned.
- "Yes I'm serious… I know you've slept with many women, you are 20 years older than me, have traveled all over the continent, you know exactly what happens tonight and have ground for comparison. You can tell which one of the women with whom you've been has been the best, and I'm afraid that I will pale in comparison and will not live up to the expectations you have". - A tear ran down my cheek, and I quickly wiped it, I didn't want to be shown like an insecure, weak creature. Too late, he saw my tear.
Edward leaned his head against my shoulder, hugged me tight. I in change hugged him back, and taking advantage of him not seeing my face, I let some more tears run down freely, before I composed myself. I knew Edward was waiting for me to calm down, to reply with whatever he had to say.
- "Jane, listen to me. Yes, it's true, I'm 20 years older, I have experienced the delights of the carnal act, and yes I have bedded more than one woman in my life, I know what I enjoy, and I knew what they enjoyed. But it will never, ever compare to what I'm about to live with you. And I'll tell you why my fairy. Because I love you. Do you understand me? I love you, with all my heart, with all my soul, my strength, will and senses. All the other women I slept with? Nothing, not a trace of love. I was a fool, I was a stupid young arse who only cared to appease my mortal flesh, didn't give a damn about whether they loved me or not. I took them, and then walked away. I hated myself for it, for many years, until I met you. And after I met you, I knew I never wanted to touch another woman in the world. Don't you see this Jane? What you are about to experience with me is as new as I will experience with you."
- "How so? You just admitted you have bedded many women, and that you know which one of them pleased you best" I protested, it seems to contradictory what he just said.
-"My darling are you listening? I never loved any of them, never! the carnal act is nothing without love, is just a hollow thing, is gone in a second, and it leaves nothing but emptiness and loneliness . I suffered that for many years, I was too weak to resist the body of these women, but afterwards, all I felt was shame and self-disgust. I have never, ever been with a woman I truly loved. Remember Celine? I thought I loved her, I truly did. But now, now that I know what true love is, that was a false attempt of a relationship I clung out of desperation. And you know already that she never loved me, she despised me and just wanted my money. All the other women I took, I didn't love them, and I didn't care if they loved me or not, all I wanted was to satisfy my desires. I repeat again, I was a fool, an idiot, a reckless mess, a ship adrift. With you… this will be as new to me. Not just because you are pure, never known another man. I have never had a woman who has been a virgin, but that is not the trait I like best about you. This will be the first time I will make love to a woman who loves me, and who I absolutely adore. This will be the first time I will take a woman not only with my body, but with my heart and soul, and I will get hers in exchange. Do you understand this? I love you, Jane. I love you more than words could ever express." His eyes never left my own as he said these words.
This declaration left everything crystal clear. I smiled and I couldn't help to hug him and kiss him with all my passion. His words worked like a charm, gone was the fear to disappoint him, all that remained was a deep longing to be his. I hugged him tight, and my body leaned to his in such a way I knocked him down on the seat of the carriage, I was on top of him, still kissing him fiercely.
Edward's response was immediate. He kissed me back, his skilful mouth parting my clumsy lips, his tongue exploring my mouth, delicately at first, then more insistent. My hands were buried in his black hair, caressing his head, my mouth dropped to his neck and kissed him, first trailing my lips to his hot skin, making him groan with delight. This gave me more courage to continue with the kisses. His hand roamed freely my back, my shoulders, my waist, my hips… then he clasped my bottom and I opened my eyes. This was a forbidden place once upon a time, but now that I was his wife, no place of my body was to be forbidden to him. He began rocking his hips against my own, and I could feel how much he wanted me. I was so aroused I couldn't stop.
His hands grew bolder, and I noticed he was unbuttoning my dress. I began to loosen his cravat, and with each inch of his skin exposed, I became hungrier for more, and my lips claimed them, kissing, brushing, licking and sucking as best as my inexperienced mouth could.
Whatever I was doing, I felt Edward approved. He groaned, and when he finally opened my dress, he noticed my corset, and cursed. As I was on top of him, I straddled him without even noticing what I was doing, and with each kiss, each touch he gave me, I began to feel more in the need of something I didn't know what it was, I needed to feel him closer than we already were, a burning need in the centre of my body kept building, it was tortuous, it was almost aching, and I noticed that rocking myself against him made it feel a lot better.
This new position surprised him, and he became wilder, stopping the task of unlacing my dress just for a second, to hold my hips tight, and make them move against his own in a pace that was driving both of us to insanity. Once I picked up the pace, his hand moved again to my corset, and my hands began taking off his jacket.
Meanwhile, Edward's arousal was harder each time, I could feel it right below my core, his eyes were shut, his breathing hard, his mouth devouring my own, making us release moans and gasps. His jacket and cravat were gone, he still had his vest before I could reach his shirt, and then finally his strong chest.
As I took it off, I threw it to the floor, and Pilot whined and then growled. I completely forgot I was in the carriage. I smiled and broke the action, while Edward took this opportunity to kiss my neck and continue to try to lose my corset, never stopping the rocking of his hips.
"Edward, we are in the carriage" I said, stating the obvious, but perhaps he had forgotten it as well.
-"Hmmmph" he just mumbled and kept kissing me.
I tried to push myself back to my original sitting position, but Edward held me tight, he didn't want to stop.
I felt uncomfortable, after all, we could be interrupted any second and it would be so embarrassing.
"Mr Rochester, we're in —-shire, we must spend the night here before continuing to Thornfield. I must water and feed the horses. I will take you to the village's hotel." John announced, I felt a sudden relief. My puritan self would have been shocked to continue this intimate act in a carriage, and in my first time.
Edward opened his eyes, frowned, I could see he was annoyed. He sat down, and replied "Fine John, take us to the hotel".
We both looked at each other and laughed. Pilot was wide awake now, eager to get out.
- "What's the matter old boy? you want out? wait a minute will ya? we're almost there" he patted his dog and went back to hug me.
- "I better think of unpleasant thoughts before we get off, or I will shock all the people who see me like this" and he looked at his lap. His pants looked very tight, it would indeed shock all the descent people in town to see a man descending from a carriage in that state with a woman, even if this woman was his wife.
I chuckled, took his jacket from the floor and put it on his lap. "There. Problem solved". I said.
He laughed, and leaned his head on my shoulder before the carriage finally stopped at the hotel.
We both got as presentable as possible, thank God Edward hadn't progressed much on my corset, otherwise tying it back would have taken forever. I buttoned my dress again, took my shawl , wrapped myself in it, arranged my hair and was ready to descend. Edward tied his cravat and put on his vest and jacket, tried to comb his hair with his fingers, and was also ready to exit the carriage.
Will post the next chapter soon if you are interested in this story :P