Disclaimer: NigHtEyeZ don't own Saiyuki. Damn it.

~*~*~ Innocent Eighteen ~*~*~

Chapter one

It was raining heavily that night. Good thing the Sanzo-ikkou found an inn before it started to rain. Hakkai wanted to have a shower while Gojyo, as usual, went downstairs to flirt with the bar maids. The room was empty expect for two person.

Genjo Sanzo had his eyebrows tied into a knot. He sat on a chair next to the window and wonders how much he hates rainy days like this. To make matters worse, he was down to his last cigarette.

Unknown to him, Son Goku studied his beloved guardian from behind. Without his outer robes, Goku's golden eyes could easily devour Sanzo's broad shoulders and his bare upper arms. Sanzo's blond hair was what the little monkey loves the most.

Sanzo flicked his lighter a few times to light his last cigarette. The stubborn lighter just won't do its wonders. Is it him or it is true that nothing goes right for him in rainy days? His frown deepens as he continues to flick his lighter.

The poor monk didn't expect his lighter would work so suddenly. Somehow, the small lit of orange fire manage to lick Sanzo's thumb. "KUSO (SHIT)!!"

"Sanzo!" Goku leaped off from the bed and landed beside his guardian. Taking Sanzo's left hand, Goku felt a slight ping of annoyance at the redness of Sanzo's thumb. Sanzo eyed the little monkey wearily. [Can't he see that I'm in a bad mood now?]

"Baka saru, let go. Wha-" Sanzo can't continue when Goku placed the burnt thumb inside his mouth. The boy sucked on his thumb gently.

Sanzo held his breath and felt his heartbeat quickens by every single millisecond. Very, very 'naughty thoughts' came into his mind as he watches his little saru sucking his thumb. If Goku had lifted his head, he would see Sanzo's face redder than Gojyo's hair.

[His lips are soft and... wet.] Sanzo shook his head violently. What was he thinking about?? He quickly yanked his hand away from Goku's grasp. As the boy looked up at him with surprised eyes, Sanzo had already masked his true emotions with a cold glare.

"What do you think you're doing?" Sanzo asked the boy coldly.

"I-I... you burnt your thumb and I..." Goku stammered and swallow the lump in his throat. Had he done something wrong again? He hoped not. He doesn't like Sanzo getting mad with him. But Goku knew better. From Sanzo's tone, the little monkey knew his guardian is angry, god knows why.

Goku lowered his head and waited for the paper-fan-of-doom to land on his head. It never came. He was greeted with another cold glare when he looked up at Sanzo again.

"Ch'. Don't do that again. Who knows what saru madness you're carrying." Sanzo stood up and headed for the door. He had missed the flashes of hurt in Goku's eyes. "If I need healing, I know where to find Hakkai. And I do NOT need you."

The monk's presence was gone in an instant, leaving Goku all alone. After standing still at the same position, facing the door that Sanzo walked out from, for ten whole seconds, Goku felt all his energy draining out.

He crept back onto the bed and under the covers. What was that tight feeling in his chest? Goku wondered if he is sick. No, he had been fine the whole day until... Sanzo gets mad at him.

The vision of Sanzo's cold face just won't fade away no matter how hard Goku tried. Why is his throat dry and he can't breath through his nose? Maybe he is really sick. Hakkai would be able to cure him. Goku snuggles deeper into the comfortable bed.

He loves Sanzo. Yup, you heard it right. Goku loves Sanzo. Not lust, not sexual needs, not brotherly love, but something much purer and deeper. Sanzo had been his everything.

Does Sanzo feel the same way for him?

//I do NOT need you. //

He'd rather Sanzo smack his head with the infamous paper fan a million times than to repeat the scenario from earlier again. The rain outside kept pouring while the little saru cried himself to sleep.


"Mister, I think you had enough." The bartender, an old bald man, had never seen such a 'beautiful' man in his life. Blond hair, violet eyes and a lean body is there anything sexier than that?

Sanzo lifted his head groggily. He was not drunk and he knows it, maybe a little dizzy but certainly not drunk. "Another."

The bartender shrugged and took Sanzo's empty glass to fill it up. The monk stared at his thumb. Why did that stupid monkey had to ruin his mood? He has no idea how could Goku affect his mood just by a simple caring action.

Ch', who was he kidding? He's Genjo Sanzo and he knows everything. Well, everything except for that baka saru... Someone once said, 'The more you care about something, the more painful you will be when it is gone.'

*CLINK* The bartender placed Sanzo's glass in front of him; his deep thoughts were interrupted. He blinked twice when he realized that he was pressing his left thumb with his lips, the thumb where Goku had in his mouth a few hours ago.


(Next morning)

"Ne, Hakkai. Do you think that baka saru is sick?" Gojyo was sitting on the bed next to the sleeping Goku. After pulling open the curtains and letting the sunshine in, Hakkai walked towards Gojyo.

"Why do you say so?" Hakkai smiled and tilted his head a little. He can't see anything wrong with the youngest (Also the oldest) member of their group.

"Take a closer look." Gojyo said with a seldom seen serious face. As asked, Hakkai sat down beside Gojyo and studied Goku; he immediately realized what Gojyo was saying.

Goku's cheeks clearly had dried up tears on them. The boy was clutching at the covers so tightly as if he would disappear into thin air if he lets go. He had a deep frown and little beads of sweat drops formed on his forehead. He looked like he's having a nightmare. His lips were parted and trembling a little.

"Look, he's trembling!" Gojyo said with a worried voice. Before he reached out to shake the boy, Hakkai stopped him. "What the..."

Hakkai mentioned for him to keep it down then proceeded to move closer to Goku. A few moments later, he lifted his head and sighed. "Just as I thought. Goku is sleep talking."

"Eh?" Gojyo sweat dropped and felt a rush of relief. Sanzo won't be happy if this saru gets sick. "What is he saying?" Not waiting for Hakkai to answer, Gojyo leaned forward so that his ear was inches away from Goku's mouth.

Gojyo opened his eyes wide. It was soft but clear, he heard it. He definitely heard it.



Genjo Sanzo appeared when Gojyo, Hakkai and Goku were mid-way through their breakfast. He calmly sat down and ordered a cup of coffee. "What?" Violet eyes scanned through the other three dangerously, daring them to make any comment about his obvious eye bags.

They resumed to their daily activities with Gojyo and Goku fighting over food and Hakkai trying to break the fight/enjoying their fight. They acted as if everything was normal but it's not.

Hakkai and Gojyo did not want to upset neither Sanzo nor Goku by asking them what had happen between them. But they have a good guess.

Sanzo ignored Goku. In fact, he ignored everyone. He was so deep in thought that he didn't notice Goku had moved to sit next to him. "Ne, ne Sanzo! Listen to me! Gojyo poured cold water at me this morning to wake me up! Isn't he mean??"

"What?! I already told you it was an accident, baka saru! It was your bloody fault by the way! If you hadn't suddenly jumped up from bed and hugged me while I was..."

After a few minutes, a blood-curding 'urusai' and two gunshots could be heard eight miles away from the inn.


A whole day of jeep driving and still, they haven't reach the next town. Which means they were going to spend the night deep inside the forest.

Something had been troubling Goku all day. Hakkai and Gojyo noticed that it was either the saru wasn't concentrating or was deep in thought while looking at Sanzo. The duo left the jeep, giving excuses that they wanted to investigate some imaginary sounds behind the bushes.

And so, Sanzo was left with Goku to accompany. Well, maybe the monk doesn't need any company after all. Ten minutes passed, Sanzo still had his back facing Goku. He quietly smokes on his cigarette. Behind him, Goku opened his mouth a few times to strike a conversation but shut his mouth cowardly every time.

Another ten long minutes passed. Picking up his courage, Goku sucked in a deep breathe to calm his racing heart. He put on his smile and asked in an oh-so-innocent tone. "Ne, Sanzo. Where did you go yesterday night?"

As if Goku said the magic word, Sanzo got out from the jeep and faced him. The monk held his cigarette delicately with two fingers and opened his mouth slightly to let the smoke out. Looking at Goku with his bored violet eyes, Sanzo finally spoke. "It's none of your business, saru."

Sanzo turned to walk away. His footsteps were stopped when slender arms were locked tightly around his waist. "Don't leave me again." Goku muttered. Seeing Sanzo walking away from him the second time was just too much. "Please."

Sanzo felt like a jerk. He was supposed to be the monkey's guardian and look what he's thinking about now! Sanzo had an urge to pin the monkey down on the ground. His mind won't operate properly with Goku so near him, not to mention the fact that Goku's warm body was pressing his back.

Just a few more seconds. Sanzo wanted to stay like this, it wasn't everyday he had felt this... needed. Neither of them moved. Goku shifted slightly so that his body was completely glued with Sanzo. He snuggled onto Sanzo's back and inhaled his guardian's one and only scent.

"Do you love me, Sanzo?" The words somehow managed to escape from Goku's mouth before he could stop it. Sanzo clearly stiffened. The special atmosphere was ruined.

With a little too much force, Sanzo tore Goku's arms away. He took a few 'big' steps forward and turn to face Goku. "Hakkai and Gojyo are gone for too long. Go find them." He ordered Goku as if he hadn't heard the saru's question.

Sanzo did not miss the pain in Goku's eyes this time. The monk flinched. He wanted to say something but it was Goku who spoke first. "Okay." A fake smile plastered on his face and attempting to hide his sorrow, that was how Goku reacted.

Goku turned and ran before he had a chance to cry in front of Sanzo. His guardian doesn't need a weakling who cries too much. He knows that. And in order to stay beside Sanzo, crying is never an option. Therefore, Goku always keeps a smile on.


After a few minutes of knocking his head against a tree over and over again, Goku resumed looking for his companions. Sanzo was right; they were gone too long. He regretted the idea of punishing himself for asking Sanzo that stupid question; his head truly hurts like hell!

"Oi! Hakkai!! Gojyo!!" He yelled, there was still no reply. Goku hoped they don't get lost. Hell, he hoped he himself wouldn't get lost. "Where are you guys?!"

Goku stopped his search abruptly, for his golden eyes spot someone or something lying a few feet away from where he stood. Curiosity enables Goku to find out what was there. He had the shock of his life when he found his answer.


"Where is that baka saru?!!" Sanzo paced back and fro, making Gojyo frown in annoyance. Hakkai was equally disturbed as Sanzo. "I'm going to KILL that idiot when he comes back!" [IF he comes back, you mean.]

Outside, Sanzo appears to be angry with Goku but inside, he's worried sick and blaming himself for Goku's absent. [What if Goku's not coming back?] Sanzo hated that thought. [Than I'll have to find him and handcuff him with myself.]

"Stop walking already. You aren't THAT worried about your pet, ne? Sanzo-sama?" Gojyo took another swing from his canned beer. He received a death glare soon enough.

"Ch'. You must be kidding me. Me? Worrying about that idiot saru?" Sanzo shot back all too eagerly. He needed something to distract him from going berserk.

"Heh, that 'idiot' saru's back." Gojyo lifted his chin to point at the figure behind Sanzo.

[Damn!] The monk looked behind to see a pair of innocent golden eyes, with a tint of hurt in them. [Did Goku heard what I've said?]

"Goku! Where have you-" Hakkai was the first to rush to him. "Ano, Goku... who's that person you're carrying?" He was also the fist to see a slumped figure being carried by Goku.

"I don't know." He answered softly, still hurt from what Sanzo said earlier. Goku slowly eased the figure on the ground with Hakkai's help. "When I found him, he was already unconscious."

Gojyo and Sanzo walked over to the 'thing' Goku had found. The three of them, including Hakkai had the same surprise of their life like Goku when they saw the person's face.

"He..." Gojyo broke the silence. "has blond hair."

"And he..." Hakkai continues what was on everyone's mind. "looks like Sanzo."

Goku reached out to softly sweep the man's golden hair from covering his feature. "He's beautiful." The reason why Goku said that, nobody knows. Sanzo's frown appeared. He wanted to pull Goku away from this mysterious man who looked like him.

The monkey, not noticing Sanzo's reaction, leaned closer to the stranger. [He really looks like Sanzo. I wonder if...he has violet eyes too.] As if wanting to answer his question, the man made a soft grunt before blinking his eyes open.

Golden eyes met violet ones. Goku stayed shock for a moment. He knows this person. Yet, he can't remember who is he. Goku was drowned inside the deep violet and familiar eyes of this supposedly stranger.

The man overcome his shock and suddenly gave out a smile, something Sanzo would never do. And he did something else that Sanzo always wanted to do. The man pulled Goku into his embrace.

"Eh???" Goku was totally confused now. Why was a stranger hugging him? But the monkey did not push him away. Goku found the man's embrace warm and welcoming. He didn't found the strength to struggle anyway.

Sanzo by now is struggling with both Hakkai and Gojyo grabbing each of his arms. The monk wanted to reach for his gun and send this bastard who was hugging Goku down to hell. It took every ounce of Hakkai and Gojyo's strength to stop the almost mad monk.

"Goku." All the struggling stopped. The man had just called Goku by his name. Is he a stranger after all?

Konzen Douji never felt any happier after he had lost Son Goku for one month. "I finally found you."

AN: What the heck!! I typed finished this and it's 12.00 a.m. in the morning of 21 of December 2002! Guess what, it's my 17th birthday today! *NigHtEyeZ did a crazy birthday dance*

Oh yeah, back to the AN. This is my first Saiyuki fic and I'm proud of it. English is my second language and Chinese is actually my first. So please bear with me if I have grammar mistakes or past/present tenses mistake (There's probably a whole bunch of 'em.)

The title is 'Innocent Eighteen' because Goku is actually eighteen and he is innocent. I love Son Goku!!!! Will you review as my birthday present? Please? *Huge puppy eyes*