Random Ramblings 1

James Potter stood on his head on his doorstep. The main point of this exercise was to get Lily's attention. However all he had succeeded in getting was a flat head. Sirius Black came down the street singing the Barney theme tune. Romulus and Remus, who had just been trying to kill each other, clamped their hands over their ears and ran in the opposite direction.

"Hey, Jamsy, why's everyone standing on their heads today?" asked Sirius while singing "It's raining Jedi Knights, Light Sabres and Barney hats". Sirius was quite right in asking as everyone he had met had either ran away or started standing on their heads. This was entirely because the poor people had just heard Sirius's singing and decided the best way to block it out was to damage their brains.

"Nice song, Siri," shouted James as he tried desperately to keep his balance. Suddenly a thought popped up in his head. My plan isn't working so well after all. Lily still doesn't notice me. However this thought did very little to deter him, instead it simply fuelled his resolve to get Lily to notice him so being the really bright spark he was James started to sing Sirius' song but about ten times louder.

Now you may be wondering why on earth Lily hadn't noticed James yet. Well, Lily was too preoccupied with watching the Teleytubbies, which no doubt was he favourite TV programme of all time judging by the way she was singing along with the songs. Naturally, being such a big fan of Teleytubbies she had her very own Po suit, which she had somehow made herself. It was basically a red apron, a red hat with a red lollypop stuck on top and on the apron was painted in large wonky letters: "POO". It is quite understandable that poor Lily, being only 10, had spelt "Po" with an extra "o". However it did put some people off socialising with her but not James and he was so determined on getting her full attention that he resolved to walking all the way to her house, a full ten metres, on his hands.

Romulus and Remus, who had been fighting over whom the new city they had just built should be named after, continued to fight in a more peaceful spot after they had fled from Sirius. Romulus was clearly winning this fight but Remus had one more weapon up his sleeve,

"Well.well.I'm fat so I should have the city named after me!" yelled Remus so loudly and confidently that it caused some fat people near by to seriously reconsider their lives. Remus, I must say, had a pretty good point; not the bit about "fat people should have cities named after them", not that I'm saying fat people can't have cities named after them, but Remus was um. "Rather Chubby". He had always been "Rather Chubby" since he could remember and most people had the tendency to tell him that he was "Rather Chubby", particularly when he had broken the swings in the park. It really wasn't his fault; he had just sat down on one when the whole frame collapsed around him causing several children to fall down as well. Of course his kind and loving parents didn't blame him but they blamed it on the park manager instead. Remus' all knowledgeable dad gave the manager such a lecturing on the prevention of woodworm that the poor guy was nearly convinced it was his own fault even if the swings had all been made of metal.

Getting back top the point about fighting, Romulus was very taken aback by his brother's words ad he broke down into a sob.

"Oh! I was just afraid you would say that! Now it'll have to be called Rem!" sobbed Romulus so loudly that it caused several more passing fat people to make a dash for the nearest new town. Remus being a gentle man said,

"It's okay Rom, lets call it Remrom," Romulus was of course over delighted by his fat brother's words and they both walked back to the place they had built their glorious city only to find it flattened to the ground.

Now you may like to know why it was flattened to the ground and how. Unfortunately the two boys had built it in a very unsuitable place. It was built on seven molehills and right between James' house and Lily's house. James had flattened it due to his desperation to get to Lily. You may be wondering how James had flattened an entire city. Well, to be precise the city was made up of lego, a pack of Hogwarts special edition lego in fact. However the lose of their magnificent lego city was felt very deeply indeed by the two boys and ran of vowing revenge.

Sirius mean while was having the time of his life. He had just met man's best friend. He had just met the bestest friend in his entire life! A blue eggcup.

"Hello," Sirius said amicably, "my name is Sirius Black. What's yours?" Naturally the eggcup didn't answer him so Sirius decided to Change the topic. "Are you an animagi? You know what I would be if I was an animagi, I'd be an eggcup because eggcups are so noble and loyal. They never give up on people when humans are trying to crack an egg. Eggcups are the most unbelievable creatures on earth!" The eggcup still didn't reply, so Sirius decided to tell it the entire truth about himself. "You see eggcup I love you so much I want to.to marry you and to make this formal," he pull out a little blue box; opened it and got on his knees, "my darling eggcup will you marry me?" To make the event even more special Sirius started to sing "Oh Daisy Oh Daisy" will you marry me except he changed Daisy to eggcup.

However Sirius soon found out that he wasn't the only one who wanted the eggcup's hand in marriage.

AN: Hope you liked it. The bit about Romulus and Remus is only funny if you know the story about how the twins founded Rome and tried to kill each other. Snapey will be in the next chapter and James will get Lily's heart. His eggcup will turn down Sirius and Snape is sane. Please review