A/N: After getting caught up on 'Gravity Falls' midseason finale, I became inspired to come up with this story. Now granted, this story is something I'll be writing by the seat of my pants, so updates will be random. Also, a heads up to people. In addition to a yearly visit with my father, my family and I will be in the process of a move, so that may slow down any story updates. And as a final message, I wonder how many of you will catch the title's joke. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this first chapter!
"Exactly how did we wind up doing this again?" Ron asked his girlfriend as they were surrounded by familiar redsuited henchmen.
"Heck if I know" Kim replied as she took a fighting stance.
Two of the henchmen came at Kim with their laser rods and swung. Kim quickly ducked the first one before grabbing his staff and swinging him into the other, sending both to the floor.
"Ron, watch out!" Kim called out to her boyfriend as he was surrounded.
Fortunately, Ron was equal to the occasion. In a flash, he leaped into the air and delivered mid-air kicks to every henchmen surrounding him.
Kim couldn't help but be impressed with her new partner's display. Ever since the Lorwardian Invasion when Ron got control of his Mystical Monkey Powers, he had become an even bigger asset on missions. No doubt about it, Ron was really coming into his own. Which was more than she could say about someone else in that room.
"Will you fools please stop them, already?!" Drakken whined from a platform above the fight. "If they stop my newest superweapon before it's fully charged, I'll have your heads!"
"Oy" said a certain green-skinned female beside the mad scientist. "I can't believe you're still at this, Dr. D. Nobody likes a person who doesn't know when to quit."
Drakken grimaced. "Must you continue sassing me even after what's happened between us, Shego?"
Shego groaned. The news of what had occurred between her and her employer had become big news. She was surprised that the tabloids didn't do something like this when Kimmie's relationship with Stoppable took a similar turn.
Sighing, she turned to her significant other. "Somebody's got to be the responsible one in this relationship."
"If you want to be responsible, then how about preventing those two from reaching my machine?" Drakken retorted.
Shego sighed again. "Fine, but I am not fighting Stoppable. After the way I saw him clobber that She-Thing and her pal, I don't want to take chances".
"I never knew you to be scared of the sidekick, Shego" Drakken said in bewilderment.
"First of all, he's a partner now" Shego pointed out. "Kimmie made that very clear. Second, remember the time he was evil?"
"Oh, right" Drakken said with a nod. "Well hopefully, the henchmen will be able to keep him busy."
Shego skeptically turned to the men who were getting their clocks cleaned by the blonde. "Somehow, I doubt that."
"We just need to stall long enough for my weapon to gain enough power" Drakken pointed out. "After that, nobody will be able to stop me."
"Alright, if you're sure" Shego shrugged before leaping off the platform and landing into the fray and turning to Kim. "Ready for another go, Princess?"
Kim, who had just roundhoused a goon away from her, looked to her longtime nemesis before smirking. "Bring it."
"Consider it brought!" Shego has she powered up her hands and lunged at Kim.
At that moment, Ron had defeated the last of the henchmen. Turning to see Kim had Shego well distracted; Ron decided to turn his attention to Drakken and his machine. Fortunately, Drakken was focused on the fight between the two females. Discreetly pulling Rufus out of his pocket, he brought his little buddy up to his face.
"Alright, Rufus" he whispered to the naked mole rat. "I think it's time we use that maneuver we came up with".
Giving a thumbs up, Rufus leaped out of Ron's hand and scampered off. Ron then turned to Drakken.
"You know" Ron said as he turned to the machine behind Drakken that looked like a giant flute. "That's a pretty unique looking device you've got there, Dude. What exactly is it?"
Drakken, who had been surprised to be addressed by Ron, turned to the boy with a wide grin at the chance to explain his device.
"Nice of you to appreciate originality when you see it" He said before dramatically waving a hand at his creation. "I give you the Ultra Sonic Cannon!"
"Yeah, uh huh" Ron said with a nod while discreetly moving towards the machine. "So, what does it do?"
"NO!" Shego cried while momentarily turning away from her fight with Kim. "Don't ask him that! Now he's going to go into a rant about what it does!" She then paused. "Come to think of it, even I don't know what it does."
Drakken grinned wider. "Then this will be educational for all of you! My Ultra Sonic Cannon can fire extreme sonic pulses at any target I choose!" He then began to laugh manically.
Kim, who had resumed her fight with Shego, turned to the scientist. "So you plan to use it to level any city on the planet?"
Drakken stopped his laughing and looked to Kim with surprise. "I could do that?"
Kim, Ron, and Shego stopped and looked to Drakken in confusion.
"Uh, if that wasn't your plan, what were you planning to do with it?" Kim asked.
"Well" Drakken said slowly. "I was actually going to use it to create a ringing sensation in everyone's ears until they submitted to me".
Kim, Ron, and Shego shared an incredulous look before Shego approached Drakken.
"You mean to say, you built a sonic wave device, and the best use for it you can come up with IS IRRITATING PEOPLE'S EARS OFF?!" She began to scream. "You could do that just by talking to them!"
"You don't have to be so hurtful, Shego!" Drakken cried defensively before walking over to the controls of the USC. "But now that I know the true potential of my device, all I need to do is turn up the power and nothing will stop me! So, thanks a lot, Kim Possible!"
Kim inwardly groaned at unknowingly giving Drakken an idea. This must be how Ron felt. At that moment, however, Kim saw said blonde discreetly approaching the USC. Knowing what he was planning, Kim knew she just needed to buy him more time, so she kept up her fight against Shego, making sure her back was turned to Ron.
"Excellent!" Drakken said after making the proper adjustments to the Ultra Sonic Cannon. "Just one more minute and soon, San Francisco will be shaked, rattled, and rolled!"
Ron was close. All he needed to do was jump onto the platform and deliver an MMP powered punch to the USC before it discharged. Just as he was crouching for his jump, however, a vine came at him. Fortunately, he managed to jump out of the way in time, leaving the organic whip to strike the ground where he was standing, causing a giant dent in the floor. However, in doing so, Ron had leaped a good five feet away from the platform.
"Nice try, Buffoon!" Drakken taunted as he retracted his vine. "But did you really think it was that easy to foil my scheme?"
Ron just smirked. "Actually…yes, I did."
Before Drakken could ask what Ron meant by that, the Ultra Sonic Cannon exploded in a ball of fire! Drakken was blown off his feet as the entire lair shook, causing Kim and Shego to abandon their fight and take cover.
From out of the smoking debris came a smirking naked mole rat who ran up to his owner who picked him up.
"Way to go, Rufus!" Ron said as the two high fived.
"But..But how?" Drakken stuttered as he got up.
"Easy" Ron said smugly. "I took my distraction to a whole new level. I had you focus on me so you wouldn't know that the little guy here was doing a little 'search and destroy' of your doomsday machine".
"Way to go, Ron!" Kim said as she threw her arms around the blonde in a hug and kissed him on the cheek.
Drakken sneered before turning to his assistant who was approaching him. "Why can't you treat me like that?!"
"Gee, maybe because you do numbskull things?" Shego snarked. "I mean, really? A giant whistle was your big plan?"
"Gotta say" Ron called out. "She has a point. I mean, this wasn't one of your best schemes. I mean, until Kim made the mistake of pointing out what it could really do, your plan was kind of silly."
"What?!" Drakken shouted. "That's preposterous! None of my plans have been stupid!"
"Have to say, it looks that way to me" Kim said, letting Ron's comment about her goof up slide. "I mean, ever since Warmonga broke you out of jail, your schemes have been whacker than usual. I mean, even though you did pretty well with the Atmos-Freezer plan, you weren't really focusing on it due to being more interested in your cupcake business."
Confused as to how his teen nemesis knew about that, the blue villain looked to his assistant.
"I may have mentioned some of your antics to her the time I was Attitudinated." Shego replied.
"Yeah, not to mention, even though your flower formula worked" Ron continued. "You actually used it to save the world instead of taking it over. When you think about it, it looks like you've reached your peak with that Diablo plan of yours. Since then, you've been going downhill. Kim may not have jumped the shark, but you did."
Momentarily eyeing her boyfriend at his choice of words, Kim turned back to Drakken. "Hate to say it, or rather not, but you're just not that much of a threat anymore."
Drakken merely growled in anger at the comments from the heroes. "I am not a washed up, played out, passé, has been! I'm still a dangerous threat! I'll show you all what I'm really capable of!"
With that, he pulled a remote out his pocket and pushed the button. In a flash, the platform he and Shego were standing on rocketed upward and smashed through the roof of the lair and into the sky.
"Well," Ron pointed out. "He's still good at escapes".
"Well" Shego said as she walked around the castle. "Monkey Fist's old manor is one place Kimmie and Stoppable will never think to find us". She rubbed a fine layer of dust off a table. "But man, this place is filthy. It obviously hasn't been occupied since Monty became a lawn ornament on DNAmy's yard."
Much to her surprise, she didn't hear the regular rants from Drakken whenever a plot was foiled. Curious, she turned to see him flopped in a seat by the fireplace.
"Uh, Dr. D?" She asked attentively.
"They're right, Shego" Came a mournful voice.
"Uh, who is right?" Shego inquired.
"Kim Possible and the buffoon" Drakken replied with a depressed tone. "I have lost my edge. I've reached a lower point than when I tried to use the Attitudinator to become more evil. My schemes now a days don't even hardly qualify to be called 'evil'. It's like fate has taken me from a promising supervillain to a harmless nuisance. I would've thought finally tasting victory would help me improve as a villain, but I haven't been able to come up with a plan at a higher level of magnitude than my Diablo scheme".
For some reason, Shego didn't have it in her to say anything snarky. Walking up to her employer she said in a soothing voice. "That may be, but hey, you have achieved success with that plant potion of yours."
Drakken sighed before looking up forlornly. "My Super High Pollinator may have worked, but it didn't have the affect I was going for. Even worse, it was only good for saving the world. Not only have my schemes become pathetic, but ever since that congratulations ceremony for saving the world, my villain reputation has been shot to pieces! Face it, I'm through! I'm not among the baddies of the world anymore. I'm just a mediocre mad scientist who's only success is stopping an alien invasion."
Reaching into his pocket, Drakken took out the medal he had received at his award ceremony, a memento of his greatest victory…and greatest failure. At first, he looked at it sadly, his face reflecting in it. Then his eyes narrowed, a sneer appeared on his lips and his grip on the medal tightened. He then chucked the award off to the side in disgust, causing it to hit a bookshelf and knocked all the books onto the floor.
"Great" Shego moaned. "Like this place wasn't enough of a mess."
Drakken sighed as he got out of his chair. "Come on. Let's get it picked up before I try to come up with another failure of a plan."
Walking over to the pile, Drakken was about to start picking up books when something buried in the pile caught his eye.
"What's up, Dr. D?" Shego asked.
"There's something strange in here' the blue scientist said. His curiosity peaked, he reached into the pile to grasp the item. Tugging with all his might, Drakken eventually pulled the object out from under the pile. Taking a good look at it, Drakken was surprised.
It was a strange looking book. The cover was a strange light blue with gold bindings. Strange patterns decorated it. Not only that, but upon taking a closer look, Drakken noticed that, unlike all the other books on the ground that were aging, this one looked like it was brand new. Feeling it, Drakken realized that the hard cover was actually soft like silk and didn't feel any book cover he ever felt.
"What kind of book is that?" Shego asked in bewilderment.
"I don't know" Drakken said as he examined the item in question. It was then he found a small note on the front. Examining it, it said:
"This tome is a relic I discovered on my very first archeological expedition in Iceland. Unfortunately, it is written in a text I do not recognize. Despite being unable to decipher it at the moment, I hope to one day unlock this book's secrets. It may help lead me to my destiny as the Monkey Master."
"Figures that Monty would have a strange book like that" Shego commented. "That four handed freak always was looking for relics in his quest to be 'the Monkey Master'".
Pulling the note off the cover, Drakken got a good look at the symbol in the center. It was then that his eyes went wide in shock.
"Forget about that book, Doc" Shego said dismissively while walking away. "If Monkey Boy wasn't able to translate it, who in the world can read it?"
"Wait, what?" Shego said in confusion as she turned back to the scientist.
"The symbol on the front of this cover" Drakken whispered. "I recognize it!"
"Wait, how do you know that language?" Shego asked befuddled.
"During my time at MIST, I minored in studying uncommon dead languages. I was the only one in my class as no one thought it would come in handy." Drakken explained "For some reason, the language on this book's cover fascinated me the most."
"Okay, so what's that symbol say?" Shego asked.
"Nothing" Drakken said as he looked at the cover. "It's just a single letter. A giant 'A'".
The situation growing curiouser, Drakken opened the book and looked over the front page.
"Well, what does it say?" Shego asked.
"Give me a moment" Drakken said as he held up a hand while looking over the text. Finally, he read it outloud:
"This tome has been written as a record to preserve our culture. As the last of my people, I feel it is my duty to document our civilization's knowledge so that all may learn…"
As he reached the last line, Drakken's eyes went wide with shock and he turned to Shego while finishing.
"…The Secrets of Atlantis."
A/N: I'm sure you all realized what Disney movie I borrowed some of these ideas from. And as you obviously can see, this first chapter was based around the creators' saying that Drakken would be annoying instead of evil following 'Graduation'. However, I felt that Drakken deserved a chance to one up his plot from 'So The Drama', and since the writers denied him the chance, I decided to do it myself. And with his new discovery, there's no telling what he'll do. Let's just hope this journal doesn't contain plans for a Universal Portal!