And now...the moment you've been waiting for...the final confrontation-but first, the master plan to put Switchboard away for good. Sounds like the ultimate pay per view event (gets popcorn, chips, dip, hot dog and soda)


5th & Last Chapter: Chester & Co. Strike Back

7:00 P.M.

Somewhere in Los Angeles, the least likely place (to Switchboard, that is), in the Chinatown district, was where (with apologies to The Rolling Stones), under cover of the night, Chester met with Jillian and Tara; from there, the genius, with the Thorndyke sibling and the belle following, went down numerous alleys and shadows, before entering an abandoned yet historic building-The Capitol Milling Co., where, using flashlights, they found themselves in the heart of the huge part of the abandoned factory, among the strewn boxes, bags, file cabinets and such, where Chester turned on a LED battery powered camp lantern before saying, "OK, I scanned all the interior and exterior perimiters here, it's safe. Anyhow, the reason I chose here is because it's the last place Switchboard would stumble upon. You see, The Teenclub and all of Beverly Hills happen to be no place for secrets, with Switchboard running around, so I chose here. Since it's also a favorite place for film and TV locations and that I've been doing a documentry of The Capitol Milling Co., I got the advantage of using the place. Anyway, Tara, you first, with what you discovered, which we'll call Exhibit A."

"Oh," said Tara, whipping out her cell phone and setting up the video player, "I followed Switchboard to my place and found her-of all people-bypassing the alarm system, just so she could break in my bedroom and waste my $70,000 perfume on a shawl which she wrapped up and took off."

"$70,000 perfume?" echoed Jillian. "THAT is uncalled for. Dirty no good Switchboard."

At that point, Tara played the video she took of Switchboard and the genius said, "The game is afoot-Exhibit B. Jillian?"

"I was near some bushes and heard Switchboard laugh," replied the Throndyke sibiling, "and I climbed up in a tree and saw Switchboard with her probe, playing back a fabricated recording that looked as if Chester was 'professing' his love for Tara at the golf course when I was there and knew he'd never say that along with the breakup twixt him and me...I wondered where that perfumed shawl came from! So it was Switchboard the perfumed the shawl-by stealing Tara's perfume-all that just to break us up! I also heard her say, no, gloat, that she would used that tape before all the other BHTs to ruin Chester's life, so here's the evidence."

"I thought so...," grumbled Chester. "So where's the proof?'

Producing her cell, Jillian played the video of what was on Switchboard's video screen along with her gloat of, "Finished at last. Now to wait till his birthday comes and I'll display the goods for all the other Teenclub members to see. After that, Chester will wish he had taken a research grant in Toronto, once he's disgraced and broke up over losing Jillian-he'll definitely wish he had never uninvited me to his birthday now, because when anyone messes with a gossip queen like me, they mess with the bull-and then they get the horns! I knew Jillian would fall for it when I dropped that shawl package and think it was from Tara, especially since I sprayed her perfume on it. Now I can truly say gossip justice is done!"

After the gossip freak flew off, the Thorndyke sibling stopped the video while the genius said, "Ladies of the jury, we got our evidence."

"My gracious," said the Southerner, "that pert near explains everything! Why that lowdown no good gator in the swamp Switchboard! So THAT is how a carpetbagging lowlife loser like her lives!"

Her eyes tearing up, Jillian could only (for the second time) grab the genius in a hug and wail, "Forgive me again! What a fool I was for doubting you and Tara over that perfumed shawl!" Then directing the rest of her words to Chester, she added, "How could I wrongly misjudge the love of my life that was not only a genius, but also looked like Lance Hendriksen?"

"Lance Hendriksen?" said a surprised Tara. "Never! Y'all know what Chester pert near reminds me of? James Bond."

"But James Bond didn't wear glasses like I do," stated the genius.

"Not unless he wore contact lenses," added the Thorndyke sibling.

"Somehow," said the genius, "I can't imagine Sean Connery, George Lazenby, Roger Moore, et al wearing glasses, nor contact lenses-but then again, there's a first..."

Already coming to an afterthought, the belle blurted, "But wait-why would Switchboard try to break you two up, much less ruin your life?"

"That part," replied Chester, "is easy to answer; Switchboard got teed off because I wouldn't allow here to media cover my birthday party, nor take any recording equipment, nor her pad in my labs and when she refused to comply, me and Jillian here uninvited her to the party, so now she's trying to get back at me for that."

"And I can't blame y'all," agreed the Southerner. "If Switchboard tried to use media coverage at any of my parties, I'd be a-fixin' to sitck her on a skewer and bar-b-q her with all the down home fixin's!"

"What now, James Bond?" said Jillian. "Switchboard's got a head start on that tape of hers and she might try to play the contents for all of Beverly Hills-not to mention our fellow BHTs-to see. In fact, she might try to crash your party before playing it and after that, you might get drummed out from Caltech, M.I.T., etc."

"Which is why," said the genius, "the first priority is to get that tape away from Switchboard, long enough for me to degauss it and its contents."

"Degauss? What's that?" said the Thorndyke sibling.

"To use a hyper strong magnetic field," said Chester, "which will erase what's in Switchboard's tape so that she can't make her so called 'claim' stick. After all, magnetism and magnetic tape, as a rule, don't mix, and I know just the place where to do that."

Her face lighting up, Jillian said, "I love it when a plan comes together. So what's on your mind?"

"Wait, said Tara, "please count me in, I pert near won't take no for an answer, since I've also got a score to settle with Switchboard for what she did with my $70,000 perfume-among other transgressions. Please?"

"What do you think, Jillian?" said the genius.

"Victims of Switchboard, unite!" said the Thorndyke sibling who stuck out her hand; Chester laid his hand on top of it, followed by the belle's hand as well. After that, as before, the trio got in a huddle while the genius muttered, "OK...time for Quarterback McTech to outline a new game plan..."

One week, the day of the birthday.

Within the heart of The Beverly Hills Universal Hospital, in Medical Imaging Section #4, Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI) Division, Room #5, seated at a console for a General Electric T-883 MRI machine, was Chester, who was typing on a keyboard and checking out the readouts on some flat screens, ready to begin what some pundits would call "the master plan," After that, he pulled out his cell, and placed a call to Jillian.

At the same moment, high above Beverly Hills, an Icarus 973 thought controlled jet wing pack unit (another McTech creation which used sensors to read the wearer's thoughts) strapped to her back, was Jillian, , a set of bandoliers with smoke bombs slung on her, and that was when her cell phone played a ringtone of Mi Sex' Computer Games, indicating it was Chester's ringtone; answering it, she said, "What's up, Ches?"

"All's in place," replied the genius, "for Operation Shame Switchboard. How goes your end?"

"No sign of-wait, I just spotted her," said the Thorndyke sibling, "down below, in her car, with the tape on the seat next to her. She's four yards from Tara's post."

"Call up Tara and tell her to set the barricades," said Chester, "then await you role for phase two and get back to me after that."

"Roger and out," said Jillian.

Speeding fast in her car, the tape on the seat next to her, along with a briefcase sized Video Home System (VHS) portable tape player with built in screen, used by business people for presentation purposes, was Brenda Andes, aka Switchboard, mentally gloating over the victory she would claim once she played the tape before all the BHTs, when she planned to crash Chester's birthday, In face, she could imagine the shocked horrifed faces of her fellow teens, after they saw, unable to believe that after a few years of a relationship that Chester would ditch Jillian for Tara. The scandal of the century in The Teenclub, and with it, the hope of settling the score for having been uninvited to a party. Victory was hers-or so Switchboard told herself.

As before, however, the gossip freak was so absorbed in her dream of vengance, that, once again, she didn't someone was discreetly tailing her-Jillian, who right now, placed a call on her cell phone to Tara, who was in an alley facing the street ahead of Switchboard, standing near seven road barricades with flashing lights; soon as her cell phone played a snippet of The Squirrel Nut Zippers' Baby Wants A Diamond Ring (Jillian's ringtone), she replied, "Howdy there, Jillian, what's up?"

"Switchboard's heading your way," replied the Thorndyke sibling, "so set the barriers and let me konw when the mouse just entered the trap."

"Will do, stand by," said the belle, who picked up the barriers and ran across the steet, setting down the barriers along the way till she reached the other side of the street and in another alley, the said barriers' lights flashing orange, all of them blocking the path. After that, she spoke crisply into the cell: "Jillian-GO!"

"Maximum burn, T.B.," said Jillian, who, using her thoughts to engage the Icarus' afterburners in to overdrive, propelling her to where her quarry was at, sped faster-

-just as the gossip freak came to a stop before the barricades and moaning, "Great, I don't remember any road work scheduled here for today. What gives?"

At the same time, seeing that Switchboard was in her sights, the Thorndyke sibling unhooked the smoke bombs from her bandolier, pulled out the pins and said, "Pilot to Bombardier-BOMBS AWAY!" From there, Jillian hurled down the bombs which hit their mark, exploding all around the gossip freak and engulfing her in white smoke.

"HEY! *cough* " gasped Switchboard, "I must've taken a *cough* wrong turn and wound up *cough* in Los Angeles-or is it Pittsburgh?! Can't see...*cough*...what's going on here?! *cough*"

Right after the bombs hit their target, the Thorndyke sibling went into a power dive, swooping down, and landing safely in the gossip freak's car, where using one of Chester's special thermogram goggles, found the tape and grabbed it, then flew skyward just as the last of the smoke dissipated-only for Switchboard to discover her tape was gone and spotted Jillian taking off, before the gossip queen went livid and yelled, "HEY! Jillian! You stole my tape! Bring my tape back, rodent named Jillian!"

Turning her car around, the gossip freak sped off, just as the Thorndyke sibling said into her cell, "OK, Tara, I got the tape. Get those barricades back where they belong and meet me and Chester at McTech Labs, soon as you can, Jillian, out."

"Will do," replied the Southerner, "Be with y'all soon, Tara out."

Hanging up, Tara ran back across the street in the other direction, picking up the said barricades along the way and reaching the other side and the other alleyway before looking skyward and murmuring, "Chester, Jillian...godspeed..."

Along the way, Jillian placed another call; Chester's cell started playing a snippet of On The Good Ship Lollipop which was Jillian's ringtone; picking it up, the genius said, "Chester here."

"Phase one complete," replied the Thorndyke sibling, "I got the tape and Switchboard's taling me, and boy, she's teed off."

"Rendezvous at the spot we arranged," said Chester, buoyed at the success of his master plan, "and pass the tape to me-the MRI will do the rest. Just stall Switchboard as much as you can to buy extra time just in case. Chester, out."

"Roger that," said Jillian, "Jillian, out," then hung up, just as she saw Switchboard gaining on her-but thankfully, The Beverly Hills Universal Hospital was a yard ahead of her, so she hit the turbo boost to pull out ahead, while down below, the gossip freak saw the Thorndyke sibling head to her destination and wonder, "Now why would she be heading to a hospital for?"

Reaching the hospital main entrance ahead of Switchboard, Jillian landed safely, took off her Icarus unit, and ran as fast as she could, discreetly, past the patients and medical staff, pushing aside in the hall, several Strykert gurneys behind her to slow the gossip freak to buy time, before she reached Medical Imaging Section #4, Magnetic Resonance Imaging Division, Room #5, where stepping out the door, was Chester, and called out, "Chester, think fast!" then tossed the tape like a football to the genius who grabbed it and said, "Interception."

At the same moment, Switchboard had entered the building, and jumped over the gurneys like hurdles at a track meet, shouting, "Come back with that tape, Jillian!" just as Chester went back in Room #5 and locked the door; once inside, he took the tape from its case, and tossed the said tape in the MRI machine, then typed in the keyboard to start it; the main screen read, PRESCAN IN EFFECT, then changed to a countdown timer which counted while below that was a flashing message, SCAN TIME REMAINING, while the tape itself, flew up to one wall of the MRI chamber and clung there, buzzing, then flew to one wall then another, pulled by the strong magnetic fields.

A few seconds, right after the genius locked the door, Switchboard exclaimed, "Aha!" then swept past Jillian to reach the door, and was pounding it, shouting, "Open that door! Gimme back my tape! Come on, open the door! At least be thankful I didn't say Richard!"

"Hey!" called Jillian from behind the gossip freak, "Let's have it quiet, huh? We're in a hospital, remember?"

Calming down, Switchboard said quietly, "Oh, right," then pounded with less bluster and called quietly, "Open that door, Chester McTech."

Meanwhile, the main screen now said SCAN COMPLETE, and from there, Chester got the tape out from the machine, slid it back in its case, and shoved it under the door to a sastified Switchboard who took the tape and said, "I knew you'd give in-but I STILL ain't changing my mind with my plans; after today, welcome to your Waterloo!" After that, she ran down the hall, back the way she came, before the genius stepped out from Room #5, stating to the Thorndyke sibling nearby, "Mission accomplished, we don't need to worry over Switchboard's threat now that the MRI did its thing."

"MRI?" echoed a quizzical Jillian.

"Magnetic Resonance Imaging," said Chester in a matter of fact way. "It uses ultra strong magnetic fields to examine inside a human body the same way an X ray does to diagnose someone, but those said magnetic fields can also erase magnetic tape like that of Switchboard's, which I just did, so her claim can't mean a thing."

"Huzzah!" chirped the Thorndayke sibling, "You've done it again!"

"We all did," said the genius, "Lucky I had some connections with Dr. Miles Franklin and the hospital staff; since I've been a big help for them as well as their equipment, they don't mind I borrow some of their tools of the trade. Now let's scram."

Seconds later, Chester and Jillian were flying high with their own Icarus 973 jet wing units, as they prepared to take off for the party.

"Next stop, McTech Labs," declared the genius.

"And the party?" said the Thorndyke sibling.

"Make it so, Number One-engage!" replied Chester.

And with that, the duo engaged their turbo boosts and streaked across the sky...

They were all there.

The usual BHTs, e.g., Lark Tanner, Bianca Dupree, Troy Jefferies, Wilshire Brentwood, Blaze Summners, Chenel Spenser, Buck Huckster, Pierce Thorndyke III, in addition to the said Radley, Gig, Jett and Nikki were there, along with some newcomers to The Teenclub (sorry, couldn't resist adding some original characters, as long as they ain't Mary Sues, nor Gary Stus, dig?) such as Sergei Borodin, a Russian defector seeking political asylum and got his green card, and an chance to be Bianca's new beau. Then there was Shiro Tachibana, the scion of a major Tokyo congalmorate, followed by Ianthe Yario, a Brooklyn New York cheerleader, James "Jim Jam-Y-Jam" Valentine, a Queens New York rapper who had recently been Chenel's BF. Next, from Toronto, Ontario, Canada, was Vincent Pringle, a stand up comic that know how to make anyone roll in the aisles, Marisol Pereira, from Mexico with blonde hair, and a mind and ego just like Pierce, heck, she even became his significant other as well. Then there was Stephen East, the first BHT goth, who despite his look had a kind soul. Next was Roland Von Schlecter, an up and coming medic/surgeon/all around M.D. from Berlin, Germany, with his coat and green surgical scrub suit, followed by the first Native American BHT (a Navajo), Deidre Black Moon, Irish born Adel O'Dowd, whose strange passion was auto racing, Italian Giovanna Eagleichi, whose specialty was artwork, sculpting and fashion design, Ludivine Vonnier, a native from Paris (where else?), France that was an experienced chef and part time maid, the first BHT hippy, who ran an incense shop, Hope Sawyer, and last of all, from Adalide, Austrailia, Jessica Dugroot, a wildlife expert. And all were assembled at McTech Labs, near the tables loaded with food, along with the huge cake Jillian had baked for Chester. And right now, it was then that Bianca said, "Where is Chester?" It's been hours since we got here."

"Not like the birthday boy to miss his own birthday," said Troy. "But if we know Chester, he'll show up when he'll feel like it."

"Probably got delayed over something," said Blaze. "Fate happens."

"For that matter," added Pierce, "WHERE is Jillian?"

"And where's Tara?" said Nikki. "Not like her to be late as well,"

"Let's just think positive, OK?" said Lark.

"I can hardly wait for the party to start," said Radley, "so we can get to the birthday cake, see Chester blow out the candles, and see Wilshire eat it-the cake, that is."

"Everyone's a comic," said Wilshire. "Well, I wager Tara and the rest should be there, given time."

"Which I am," said Tara, who just entered, adding, "Chester and Jillian just arrived,"

No sooner had the Southerner said that, Jillian arrived, saying, "Sorry we're late, but all you fellow BHTs, let's welcome the birthday boy himself-Chester McTech!"

At that, there was quite a round of applause as Chester entered, and took his place, flanked between the Thorndyke sibling and the belle. then said, "Thanks, all of you."

"Happy birthday, Chester, " said Lark.

"Congratulations," said Bianca.

"How old're you now?" said Troy.

"Yay, Ches, a big B day to you," said Radley.

"My sentiments exactly, Comrade Chester," said Sergei.

"Feliz cumpleanos," said Marisol.

"You're another year older today," said Blaze.

Just then, Jillian, with Tara's help, took out her Bic lighter and lit the candles on the cake, before the Thorndyke sibling said, "OK, C.M.T., make a wish and blow out the candles."

"And at the same time," said the Southerner, "y'all have a happy birthday, y'hear?"

Leaning to the cake, the genius said, "I wish-"

"Wait!" said Nikki, " Don't say your wish or it can't come true."

"Believe me, the wish I got in mind will," assured Chester, who added, "I wish Switchboard would get her...just desserts." That said, he blew out the candles, to the clapping and cheers of the BHTs-

-and suddenly an alarm klaxon went off.

"What's that?" said Jett. "A fire? A break in?"

"Close," said the genius, "someone's breached the security systems and bypassed the outside doors and alarms-someone's trying to break in using a skeleton key. And hotwiring my electronic locks."

No sooner had Chester said that, there was a lot of pounding on the door, before, there was an electric crackle, before the main entrance door slid open, and a irate Switchboard stepped in; in one had was the tape, the other, her portable tape player.

"Well I declare," said Tara, "y'all broke and entered again, Switchboard!"

"I thought we told you you weren't invited, Switch," said Jillian.

"What do you mean, breaking in here?!" demanded Chester.

"What's going on here, Switch?!" said Troy.

"Plenty," said the gossip freak, "To all of you members of the Beverly Hills Teenclub, I present an untold secret-untold, until now: the fact the our beloved wiz kid, Chester McTech, just recently broke up with his longtime girlfriend, Jillian Thorndyke III, and ran off with everyone's favorite Belle Of The South, Tara Belle-and I've got proof, right here on a tape, thanks to the efforts of my camera probe."

Upon hearing that, the other BHTs gasped, yet some spoke out words of doubt and disbelief.

"Not Chester! He'd never do that to Jillian," said Lark.

"Like, Chester dropping Jillian for Tara?" said Jett. "Like, no way!"

"Why would he do that?" said Gig. "What's Tara got that Jillian doesn't?"

"I knew it!" said Pierce. "I had a feeling Chester's relation with my kid sister wouldn't last. Shame on you Chester, treating my sis like that!"

"Chester trading Jillian for Tara?" said Bianca with a laugh. "That is a crock of guacamole-and not only that, it's de clase."

"Chester and Tara?" said Wilshire. "Impossible."

"What a wipe out for me," said Radley, "I mean, what a shock."

"What a bummer," said Troy. "Why would Chester do such a thing? He had Jillian, why would he abandon her for Tara?"

"Chester baby, naughty, naughty, naughty," said Buck.

"Yo, that is the pits," said James.

"As if to put aside any doubts," added Switchboard, "here's the tape to prove it-once I play it to you all, all I can say is: what do you now think of your Chester McTech now?"

Setting up the tape player, the gossip freak put the tape in and hit the play switch-and what came on the built in screen was a lot of white lines like a station off the air, in short, not a thing at all. Not a thing!

"What the...?" said Switchboard. "Where is it?" Franticlly, she tried visually fast fowarding the tape, checking and playing, rewinding, fast fowarding and playing the tape countless times, but the result was the same-total nil on the tape.

"Well, Switchboard? "We're waiting," said Pierce.

"Is that some kind of joke?" said Chenel.

"So, like, where's the steaming poop, you hoser?" said Vincent.

"Where's ze proof?" said Ludivine.

"Well, Switchboard?" said Troy.

"Switchboard," growled Bianca, "we demand some answers! What're you trying to pull around here, saying there's a rumor that doesn't exist?"

At that, all the other BHTs shouted demands and questions to a flustered Switchboard who tried to scan the tape, before she stopped it and took the tape out, while Jillian and Tara, who were flanking Chester, looked at the genius in surprise before he nodded, indicating their plan had worked. In the end, the gossip freak put two and two together before seething with rage, blurting out and pointing a finger at Chester and Co., "Now I get it! He did it! Him and his gals here ruined my tape! It's destruction of private property, and I plan to sue!"

"Oh?" said the genius. "Well, while we're on the subject, what of all the other stuff you did, like forging my signiture for the flowers you sent Tara?"

"And the dirty deception with the perfumed shawl you did to break me and Chester up?" said Jillian.

"And bypassing my family mansion alarm, breaking and entering in my bedroom, and stealing and wasting my $70,000 perfume on a shawl just to split Chester and Jillian?" said Tara.

Upon hearing that, the other BHTs gasped while Switchboard stammered, "But, but, but, but, but, but, but-"

"If you're through with the motorboat imitations, Switchboard," said Chester, "I suggest to the ladies of the jury-" here, he gestured to Jillian and Tara "-to present OUR evidence, thus giving you a taste of your own medicine in effect."

Whipping out their cell phones, the Thorndyke sibling and the Southerner played the video shots of the gossip freak and such for all the BHTs to see; the said BHTs gasped even more and in total shock, while Switchboard's resentment was replaced with absolute fright before she screamed in terror and gasped, her expression like that of a child found with a hand in the cookie jar. And naturally, that piece of info didn't bode well with the other Teenclub members, while they took a dim view of what they saw, shouting in uproar.

"Switchboard!" said Lark. "How could you weave a tangled web like that, trying to break those two up?!"

"I used to think people like Bianca and Pierce," said Chenel, "got better and better at becoming badder and badder, but now I see the REAL person to do just that-is you! Consider yourself banned from The Teenclub for a year-with your membership and media license revoked as well!"

"For shame, Switchboard!" said Troy. "Why break up Chester and Jillian with a fabricated lie? What did they ever do to you?!"

"At's-a no good," said Giovanna.

"You're the pits, you jive she turkey!" said James.

"Inexcusable," said Stephen.

"Take off, you hosehead," said Vincent.

"Maybe God and his son will forgive you," said Bianca, "but I won't."

"Que estupido tonto in the cabeza!" said Marisol.

"Comrade Switchboard," said Sergei, "you're no comrade, you durak."

"You're a dweeb, and hip as a flat day at Malibu, Switchboard," said Radley.

"What you just did," said Deidre, "is worse than the most pathetic war cry."

"Baka Switchboard," said Shiro. "that was dishonorble, what you did."

"Boo, Switchboard!" said Wilshire.

"Ditto!" said Buck.

"Shame, shame on you!" said Ianthe.

"R-r-r-r-r...stupid gossiping hyena!" said Pierce.

"Sure and 'tis a shameful thing you did!" said Adel.

"You did an absolutely verboten thing," said Roland.

"You stupid idiot!" said Ludivine.

"Sorry, mate, but you're no mate to me," said Jessica.

"You've bloody gone too far, and you know it!" said Gig.

"Of all the scuzzy lowdown things you did," said Jett, "what you sooooo did, like, totally takes the cake!"

"Only an unhip square like you would do such a crummy thing," said Hope.

"If I had my way," said Blaze, "I'd hogtie you and toss you in a pen full of wild horses where you'd be trampled underfoot."

"You're a disgrace to The Teenclub!" said Nikki.

Already the BHTs were so livid, they tried to mob the gossip freak and tear her apart, even if no court would convict them. That is, until Switchboard jumped on one of the tables of food, but the furious BHTs were surrounding her, trying to grab her. And already luckless and tapeless, a sobbing and terrified gossip queen was using a plate to sheild herself and fend off the furious mob, shouting through her tears, "Stop! Let me alone! I got my rights! It's my life! And don't forget The First Amendment! And besides, I was only getting back at Chester and Jillian for uninviting me to the party, all because they wouldn't let me do media coverage!"

Fearing the possibility of spilled blood, if not bad blood, Chester jumped into the fray, held up his hand, and yelled, "STOP!"

Hearing that, The Teenclub members calmed down and quieted, before the genius added, "May no blood be spilled in McTech Labs! I believe Switchboard's been disciplined enough to learn her lesson. However, let's make extra sure she's learned her lesson, considering Chenel here just revoked her media license and banned her from The Teenclub, both for a year." Then to Switchboard: "OK, Switchboard, a compromise-we'll let you stay at the party-but ONLY if you confess to everything and adhere to my terms as well as a proviso."

"Anything," sobbed the gossip freak. "So much for The First Amendment..."

An hour later, Switchboard was typing on Chester's I pad tablet, finishing with, glumly, "...and I promise that what I said in my confession I just typed is true and that I promise to agree to Chester's terms of no media coverage whatsoever at his birthday, the promise that I am sorry for my crimes, the promise of an apology to Chester and Jillian for what I did and what I tried to do to them, that a check of $70,000 and apology to Tara Belle be forthcoming, the promise to go along with Chenel banning me from The Teenclub for a year and my membership and media license revoked, and last of all, the promise that all peccadillos be forgotten, that I swallow my pride and enjoy it, because I just learned you can't get away with crooked things, nor create false gossip." With a sigh, she said, "There, that is everything."

"Sign it," said the genius.

Using a stylus, the gossip freak wrote on the screen her signiture, then handed that and the tablet back to Chester, who tapped some onscreen templates, then stated, "Now listen-just to make extra sure you learned your lesson, I just emailed your confession/proviso to a notary public, which means if you don't do anything and everything you wrote, I'll email your said document, along with Tara and Jillian's cell phone vids to The Los Angeles Times. You understand?"

"I understand," said a glum Switchboard, "but you geniuses don't fight fair."

"So what else is new?" said the genius. "Now go get a slice of cake and other goodies, OK?" Then to the other Teenclub members, he added, "OK, NOW we can party."

After a round of applause the BHTs did just that, while a chagrined Switchboard helped herself to a slice of cake and bemoaned, "White cake? Why couldn't have it been chocolate cake? At least, the buttercream frosting makes up for it."

Feeling like a huge weight was finally off his mind, and eating his slice of cake, Chester-who was once again between Jillian and Tara-said, "Well, the worst is finally over, thanks to you two. I couldn't have done it without you two."

"You said it," agreed the Thorndyke sibling, "You and Tara were a big help, thanks a heap, T.B."

"Amen, Jillian," said the Southerner, " but you and Chester were pert near a big help to me in seeing that justice is done for my home and my $70,000 perfume. We couldn't have done it without each other, so much, the better."

"Right said," said the genius, "Now I can truly, have a happy birthday."

"Not quite," said a sly Jillian, who moved close to Chester and wrapped her arms around the genius, just as Tara, who knelt down did the same, "you forgot one more birthday tradition, which happens to be the birthday kiss..."

"...and we and Jillian pert near wish to be," said the belle, "the first ones to give you just that..."

" with that in mind..." said the Thorndyke sibling.

"...HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CHESTER MCTECH!" chorused Jillian and Tara in unison, before they both at the same time in sync, kissed with a prolonged kiss on the cheeks of one surprised Chester, who soon after that, blushed, saying, "Hooboy...what a birthday it's going to be...!"


At last, my muse is complete once again. Now I can finally head down and buy some Underoos for my nephew. I should mention, any brands mentioned here, remain the register trademarks of their respective companies. Anyhoo, my latest creation is dedicated to all BHT fans worldwide and to the memory of Sean Robage, may he rest in peace (he voiced Chester in the show).

Once again, happy hunting!