It's Just Research

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and Co.

Warning and A/N: So, you know how this is rated M? This chapter is where that becomes obvious so if you're not into that well I really don't think you should be reading this fanfic. Also I'm going on vacation for a week so it's going to be a bit before I update again, sorry.


And then the decision was made.

'Fuck you, Fred and George Weasley. Fuck you to the deepest pits of Hell.'

Hermione walked over to the bag, and opened it.

She emptied the three products onto her bed. One was quite obviously a dildo-ish thing, then there was a small bug like looking thing, and lastly a potion or lotion or something. She decided to pick the one she could most easily identify. The dildo… thing.

It was big, purple and all of the sudden she was feeling weird again. There was something forbidden about the, uh, toys. Like the minute she used one she was officially crossing over to the dark side. But once Hermione made a decision, that was it. She stuck with it.

Just like when she decided she to go with Harry on the search for the Horcruxes. Or when she decided to send her parents to Australia, or that time when she decided to get her parents back from Australia. And now, now Hermione has decided to try using this… okay she just had to say it… dildo.

There. She thought it, and she didn't add 'thingy' or anything.

Good for her.

Being Hermione she looked for the instructions first. Noting that they were actually a part ofthe product she decided to just… get on with it. Hermione placed the rest of the toys back into the bag and placed the bag on the floor, before sitting cross legged on of her bed awkwardly holding the purple dildo (She thought it again!) and turning it so she could read the instructions.

*Please Read Before Using*

This product is for all our single Naughty Witches out there. We hear that it can be quite difficult to sufficiently use a dildo all by yourself so we designed this to 'thrust' on its own! No guidance needed. To activate the automatic thrust the password is…

The password was covered by one of those things that you need to scratch off, and once she scratched it off it said 'Fuck me.' Typical Gred and Feorge.

and the way to power off the dildo is to just say off. Or orgasm 3 times. You choose.


The Twin's of the Night

Holy. Mother. Of. Merlin. What the fuck had she gotten herself into? So she had to test if it turns on with the words 'fuck me', if it powers off with the word off, and if it powers off with 3 ENTIRE FUCKING ORGASMS! Is that even physically possible?

The logical side of her says yes, she's read quite a few articles about that in the Witch Weekly.

But the irrational side of her worries that it's impossible to even have one.

Hermione let out a huff flopping back onto the bed. She let the purple dildo rest beside her. She wasn't a virgin or anything, oh no that was one of the first things Ronald had talked her out of.

"It'll mean that we're serious!"

"I… I don't know. I'm just… it seems a little soon," Hermione said nervously twisting the necklace he got her around her finger.

The red head let out a big sigh his ears going red, "Come on,'Mione, I love you. And I want to share this with you."

And just like that her heart melted.

"Aw, Ron," she cooed scooting over to him and giving him a kiss.

"Is that a yes?" He asked pleadingly with large puppy dog eyes.

"Uh," Hermione paused thinking about it, "Yes. That is a yes." Ron let out a whoop of glee and Hermione giggled, she couldn't help the butterflies she had in anticipation.

They did it that night, in his apartment. It was uncomfortable and weird but once it was over all she could do was bask in the afterglow. She had finally found the one. Like Harry and Ginny, this was it. This was her Happily Ever After.

Ron had already fallen asleep.

After that night they 'made love' a few more times and it wasn't necessarily bad, Ron loved it, but there wasn't much there for Hermione. She just did it 'cause Ron wanted it. And it made their relationship more official. That was part of the reason Lav-Lav had taken her by surprise.

Hermione shook off the thoughts of her ex and turned back to the situation at hand.

She had experienced minor orgasms, of sorts, by her own hand. But that was usually after she downed a firewhisky or two. No, she had to do this sober. For researches sake.

So she needed to… get 'in the mood.' Or 'horny' as Ron had called it.

Unwillingly two men came straight to mind.

Finn and Charlie.

Finn pushed Charlie down on the bed and quickly took Charlie's shirt off. But everything after that was slow. He slowly, antagonizing slowly, kissed his way down Charlie's neck nipping here and there. Then right at the collar bone he bit down and sucked leaving a hickey and causing a gasp of surprise from Charlie his blue eyes flying open.

"How long has it been again?" Finn asked lowly as he continued to nip and suck up and down Charlie's chest.

Charlie let out a low moan before answering, "Merlin… too long."

Finn smirked against Charlie's chest, "Be precise," he murmured tauntingly bringing his hips down to Charlie's and grinding.

"Uh, s-seven months?" Charlie managed to get out as Finn slid lower.

"Seven?" Finn said before he let his tongue trail a path from Charlie's belly button to the waistline of his jeans. Charlie just moaned in response. "Hmm, I think that's a little too long."

Charlie nodded as Finn played with the waist line of his jeans, not pulling them down but not leaving them alone either, "I think I need to teach you that it's not okay to stay away for that long." Charlie froze, but he couldn't help the wave of arousal that went through his body.

"What do you mean?" Charlie said lowly, but Finn didn't miss the sound of want in his voice.

"I'm going to help you remember to never stay away for that long, ever again." And then Finn stopped playing with the waistline of Charlie's jeans causing Charlie to let out a whimper of protest, "Oh don't worry babe we'll get back to that." Finn said easily letting his hand run over Charlie's hard-on before before inching his way back up Charlie's body, "But first…." Finn grabbed at Charlie's roots tugging hard and bringing their lips together in a battle of dominance that Finn easily won.

Once he broke away he immediately latched onto Charlie's collar bone, the opposite side of where Charlie's first hickey was, leaving another identical one. "Two down, five more to go," He spoke in a husky voice and Charlie couldn't take his lust filled eyes off of him.

'Bloody fucking Hell' was the first thought that ran through Hermione's mind as her eyes fluttered open, her hand seemed to have worked itself into her plain nude colored knickers on its own accord she couldn't find it within herself to remove it.

The way her fingers rubbed her clit caused her insides to clench in the most delightful… 'Focus!' she chided herself, 'Remember you're doing this for research.' So she regretfully removed her hand from her panties and started stripping herself of her clothes, it'd be easier that way.

She quickly ripped off (not literally) her t-shirt and slipped off her already unbuttoned jeans. Her nude panties came off quickly and she thought that she might as well take off the plain black bra. Hermione had noticed with glee that even though she had 'let herself go' her breasts seemed to have only gotten bigger, how could that be a bad thing?

She couldn't help the arousal she felt as she lied against the top cover of her blue-grey comforter completely nude the light drafts from the room causing goosebumps to rise on her skin. However, she tried to focus her mind on what was the best way to test the product. After a moment of consideration Hermione decided that to test if saying the word off after the product was activated worked she was going to turn the dildo on, then let it uh… thrust… for a bit and then turn say off. Then turn it back on and hope she could orgasm more than once and turn it off that way.

Hermione used her fingers to prep herself first letting herself just focus on how good it felt to rub her clit, then she slipped a single digit down into herself she couldn't help the small pants that left her lips as she slowly alternated between rubbing her clit and stretching with herself with her fingers. Once there was significant wetness around her… area and she no longer felt uncomfortable with her fingers in… there she decided to move onto the bigger things.

Holding the dildo she awkwardly tried to position it and then murmered the magic words, "Uh… fuck me?" The command came out sounding like a question but the dildo slowly inched forward and inside of her. It didn't move quickly but she could feel every thrust and Merlin it felt good.

With a moan she felt herself relax as it pulled out then tense up when it pushed in, her thighs clenching delightedly. "Bloody hell," she murmured as it pulled out slowly once again, all the way, before pushing back in just as slowly hitting what felt like every part of her. She nearly forgot that she had to stop it. "Shit," she hissed as the dildo pushed in. What the hell was the word again? Ugh, something like stop. "Stop," she said clearly but nothing happened, "Uh… don't go? Off?" At the last word the dildo completely stopped lodged halfway inside her it just kind of hung there, totally still. "Alright," Hermione said clearly, more confident this time, "Fuck me." She didn't say it huskily or timidly she just kind of... said it.

The dildo was faster this time, more confident just like her and as it quickly thrust into her she couldn't help how her hips lifted off the bed, "Bloody Hell this is amazing," she hissed out as the dildo thrust into her insistently causing her back to arch and her toes to curl. Her pants grew louder as with each thrust it hit her g-sport, "Fuck, fuck, fuck," Hermione cursed her eyes half closing and she couldn't help but reach her hand down and rub her clit with each thrust. Her entire body tensed but the dildo didn't stop and then her pussy quivered and it was as though the dam finally broke. "Fuck me!" she screamed loudly throwing her head back and clenching as a rush off arousal washed over her.

Even as she lied still, completely exhausted, the dido continued to thrust away, it seemed that her last 'fuck me' had caused it to speed up even more. As it pummeled into her at an insane speed she felt her arousal begin to build up once again. She couldn't even yell out curse words as her legs spread even farther apart and her hands threw themselves up over her head. Loud panting filled the room and she felt the tingling of an orgasm fill her once again. Her mouth opened in a silent scream as she thrashed back and forth the pleasure that she hadn't felt in so long filling her up like glass of cool water. Except she was hot, she was on fire.

Once again her body sagged as though all her energy had been drained out of her. But she still had one more breath taking orgasm to go. She was starting to get sore but she had to finish this, she had to make sure the product worked. Hermione murmered 'fuck me' causing the dildo's thrusting to slow down to a more moderate thrusting. As her gasps slowed down she let her hand slip down to her clit, rubbing it roughly while the dildo filled her again and again. Hermione let out a low moan as she felt the tell tale quivering of her insides but she didn't stop rubbing her clit, "Fuck," she muttered lowly as her toes curled of their own accord. A gasp was ripped from her and she felt herself grin as her entire body stiffen, her mouth making what was becoming a very familiar 'o' shape.

With that the dildo gave two more slow pumps before it went still. Hermione was too tired to even pull out the dildo right away. "Merlin," she muttered out loud not bothering to open her eyes. She half expected herself to fall asleep then and there but some part of her managed to convince herself to get up. With a groan Hermione pulled the dildo out and tossed it to the side not even bothering to even clean it off, she'd do it later.

She placed her wobbly legs on the ground and winced at the soreness radiating from between her legs, she better grab a potion for that. Hermione wobbled over to the dresser and grabbed a pair of sweats and a hoody along with a fresh pair of knickers, although she foregoed the bra.

'Mione exited the room and headed to the kitchen casting a quick spell for tea before she walked back to her bathroom and started to go through her magically enlarged medicine cabinet trying to find a potion that worked to eliminate soreness. Finally, she found one that would do and it would only need one dose.

Grabbing a dose Hermione made her way back to the kitchen and grabbed her tea taking a sip of that before she downed her potion. She ignored the foul taste and began gulping down her tea to replace that. Which she nearly spit out because she forgot to put sugar in it. With a sigh she grabbed a bowl of sugar and moved to her giant cherry wood table with dried on bird shit on it, which she vanished as soon as she saw, and sat down. She was exhausted but it was only 8:30-ish.

As an enormous amount of sugar was poured into her tea Hermione started thinking of what exactly needed to be done right now. She needed to write a letter to the twins and tell them... "Shit!" Hermione hissed as she realized that she forgot to cast that charm that would record the entire experiment so now she had to think of another fucking way to show them what happened! And there was no way she could do that whole thing again, it was way too exhausting. So she needed to show them her memo—oh. She was an she needed to do was take the memory and put it in a pensive! Then they'd be able to watch it and next time she'd cast the charm that would record it and it'd be all better.

So she needed to write a letter to the twins.

Then she needed to get a fucking pensive.

And learn how to take memories out of her head.

She also needed to write a letter to her mother saying hello before she got another angry letters asking why exactly she was so busy that she couldn't even write.

She needed to do a lot of stuff, but all she wanted to do was sleep.

With a sigh she laid her head down on her stupid table and closed her eyes, having no idea what turmoil two other people were experiencing at that same exact time.

Only an apparition, or a floo away two boys sat in their shitty master bedroom on their separate beds staring at the ceiling trying to fight the bond.

"Fuck," George hissed as he felt the control over his limbs slowly fade away.

"George, we should just do it," Fred chided as he sat curled up in a ball on his own bed on the opposite side of the room as George.

"No," He whispered still fighting the vow. The curse.

"George," Fred whispered holding himself a bit tighter, "It's harder when you're not actually there. It's scary looking at you, doing that, and nobody's home. It's freaky and weird just please… do it. Stop fighting it."

George turned his face away from his twin closing his eyes trying to hold himself together all while going back to that night.

Two red-headed 11 year old twins sat facing each other a day before their first day of school.

"What if we're not in the same House?" Fred asked his twin as they sat criss cross facing each other.

"Wha'd you mean? 'Course we'll be in the same House," George answered even though he was secretly worried as well.

"But what if we're not?" Fred asked insistently.

"Then… we just will."

"But what if…."

"Wait! I got an idea!" George crawled over to his bed and reached under his mattress pulling out a pocket knife, "I found this in Bill's room, it's a pocket knife."

Fred looked at him confused, "What're you gonna do with that?"

"Well," George began looking nervous, "We don't have to. But if you want we'll make a blood vow. That it'll always be us. We won't go into different houses, and when we're older we won't live in different houses and have different jobs and get married to girls and stuff, it'll always be just us."

A smile broke across Fred's face, "Really? You'd do that?"

"Well, it's going to be like that with the blood vow or not so…." George said with a grin back at Fred.

"Wicked! Let's do it."

So George took the knife and as he was about to cut his palm he realized he couldn't do it, "Fred will you do it?" Fred look worried but nodded and reached for the pocket knife. He carefully took George's right hand and made a diagonal line from the base of Georges thumb to the base of George's pinky with the knife. He look worried at the quickly gathering blood but shook it off.

"Okay, you do mine," Fred said holding out his right hand and just as carefully as Fred, George repeated the process.

When they both had bloody hands George took over the ritual, "Okay, now place your hand against mine," they clapsed their hands together and the blood began dripping on the floor, "I, George Rifden Weasley, here by vow that I shall always be with Fred Horquil Weasley in house and job and life. I vow to share everything with him both… uh material and secrets."

With a smile of encouragement from his brother Fred repeated the vow, "I, Fred Horquil Weasley, here by vow that I shall always be with George Rifden Weasley, in house and job and life. I vow to share everything with him both material and secrets." With a flash of light the vow was signified and the cuts on their hands healed.

"Wicked," Fred muttered once again staring at his hand and George couldn't help his grin.

"Yeah! See no worries, now we'll be in the same House for sure!"

Satisfied both boys laid in their respective beds and fell asleep not realizing just what kind of vow had been made.

"George!" Fred screamed and George scrambled back.

"What? What happened? What did I do?" He saw his brother lying in his bed naked and knew that it happened again. He had fought the vow... and he had lost. Again.

His face crumbled and he couldn't help but apologize again and again.

"George! Georgie!" Fred reached up and pulled his brother into bed with him, "Relax," He shushed as he brushed his brother's hair back, "relax." But George's sobs didn't stop.

"I'm s-sorry!" George pleaded burying his head into his twin's shoulder. George was used to this happening, but it wouldn't stop the pain of knowing that he did this to his twin because of a naïve mistake he made when he was 11.

"George, it's fine. The only reason I remember doing it is because I'm willing. And you've done it a million times it's not like I'm not used to it," Fred said reasonably but that just made George feel worse.

He had fucked his twin 'a million times.'

The vow compelled him to do it, to share their bodies with one another, to 'be one.' It was so fucked up and it tore George apart. Now they haven't been fucking since they were 11, the Vow at least had the decency to not start putting in the desire to be together like that until they turned 14. And they were lucky enough to be able to fight the vow until they turned 15.

But when they were 15, exactly 4 years after they made the vow, the same day and everything, they couldn't fight it any more. Fred and George both blacked out from fighting the blood vow so hard and before they knew it they had woken up naked and in bed. Together. From the soreness in his arse Fred was able to deduce just which one of them had been the bottom and had promptly started beating George up.

But what was even worse is George didn't know what he had done, so he fought back. And with black eyes (Okay, Fred had a black eye) and broken noses (George had the broken nose) their mother caught them.

She quickly fixed them up with a quick episkey and a stern warning to work whatever they were fighting about with their words, which is when they realized they couldn't remember exactly what had happened. They didn't know who initiated it or if they used condoms or lube.

But they figured that it just needed to happen once, then it was over and it would never happen again. Unfortunately, each year it got worse instead of better. They were compelled to have sex more and more and now they had to do it nearly every month. Fred, had come to accept it but George couldn't, he still fought against it every time and every time he felt a bit worse.

"Come on now. Let's get us some firewhiskey," Fred said springing up and pulling his twin with him, "With firewhiskey comes good things."

"What in Merlin's name are you talking about?" George asked as he pulled on some clothes not bothering to see if they were his.

"I'm talking about a very pretty witch that hasn't returned our products yet," Fred said with a wink as he tugged on his pants not bothering with a shirt.

"She probably hasn't had time, I mean she works a lot."

"Even on Saturdays? Please! No sane person works Saturdays!" Fred called as he grabbed firewhiskey and shot glasses

"Well, that explains why we work Saturdays," George muttered lowly.

"What was that?"


"Mmm hmm, well, here's some whiskey. Drink up," Fred said sliding a full shot across the round table towards George.

"Only a tiny shot? Why don't you just give me the whole bottle. I need it," George complained as he made to grab the bottle.

"I think I need it more. But I'm not going to have any," immediately George looked awful, like he had just commited the worst crime known to man and was definitely feeling the guilt. Feeling guilty Fred added, "And besides we got work tomorrow."

"We also have sobering charms, now come on pass the bottle," George pleaded.

"No," Fred said sternly holding the bottle behind his back.

"Why not?"


"Because why?"

"Because I gave you the rest of the bottle," Fred said so quickly George could barely tell what he was saying.

"Excuse me… what?"

"I gave you the rest of the bottle," Fred replied this time talking as though he was speaking to a baby.

"Uh uh, no way. Let me see," George said as he grabbed the bottle and this time Fred let him.

"Bloody Hell, Fred! How'd we go through a full bottle!"

"'Mione, is really good at holding her alcohol. And so was Amber. Elsie not so much. Kate coulda downed the whole thing but—"

"Wait. What you're telling me is our firewhiskey is gone because of all the girls you tried to seduce?"

Fred looked down, seemingly embarrassed, "Maybe."

"Well. That explains quite a few things," George says calmly. Dangerously calm. He placed the whiskey bottle onto the table and then moved to grab his coat.

"What do you mean? Where are you going?"

George stopped right as he was about to leave, "What I mean, Fred, is I've felt like shit all week. Probably because you seem to forget that for us to fall in love or marry someone it has to be a fucking joint effort! Meaning both of us! We have to share every fucking thing!"

"I know, and I'm sorry but I thought that if I really liked them and they liked me then of course they'd like—"

"Just shut up! I'm so fucking done," George spoke as he opened the door.

"Where you going?"

"Out!" Some of the ways Fred and George have learned to keep things from each other is by staying as vague as possible, like now for example. If Fred really wanted to know he could continue to pester his brother but he decided to just leave his twin be. George would come back when he wasn't so angry.

As George walked away he knew he didn't want to go back, but he also knew that if he didn't willingly go back then the vow would force him.

"Fuck it," George muttered as he kicked a stone down the street on a way to The Leaky Cauldron. Fred and him seemed to be having the same argument every day these days.

Fred wanted a wife.

George didn't want to bring another person into this bloody curse.

Yes, he had known that Fred was bringing girls over, it was actually what they were arguing about when Hermione had come over, but he had no idea getting them drunk was part of the seducing process! That was just making him feel worse about this whole 'get a wife' thing.

The day that 'Mione came George had just finished counting up the stock and was going to see how Fred was doing, he had this awful feeling, like his blood was boiling over, and he had a sneaking suspicion of what Fred was up to. When he finally found Fred upstairs in the flat, Fred had his arms wrapped around some girl whispering in her ear and he said something about how "My brother and I would love to show you what a good fuck really is," or something awful like that and the girl spun around and slapped him in the face.

George would've thanked the girl if she hadn't turned on him next, "You two are sick bastards. How could you even… I can't believe you would say such a thing! You're awful!"

"Wait, I just got here—" George had started but the girl was having none of it.

"Oh shut up! You just 'conveniently' walked in on your brother propositioning to me that all three of us have sex? Sure. You both are sick fucks and I hope you know that. You'll be lucky if the whole Wizarding world doesn't hear about this!" The girl taunted before grabbing her purse and storming out.

And then Fred tried to apologize and everything went to hell. Until Hermione showed up that is.

"Fred! Good to see you, what would you like today?" Hannah Abbot asked him from behind the bar.

"Uh, some firewhiskey would be great. Where's Tom?"

"Oh! You haven't been here is a very long time, Tom's finally moved out. He lives with his daughter and her family now. So, now the pub's mine!" Hannah had been working with Tom on keeping the Pub together for a year or two, but now it was all hers.

"That's great," George spoke as he took his shot glass of firewhiskey from her, "Well, it was good talking. Tell Neville I said hello."

"I will!" Hannah called back cheerily as George took a seat in the back. Alone. And began the long process of drinking away his sorrows.

Back at the flat Fred was beating up pillows. Or attempting to anyways.

You see when you and your friend enter into a blood vow and one accepts it and the other doesn't, you'd think the one who accepted it would be the better person. But Fred always felt like he was the one fucking up.

By trying to get a girl to fall in love with them he was being the prick, in what bloody messed up universe was he living in? He was just trying to be a good mate to his brother, he was trying to do good by both of them. This earned his pillow a more powerful punch. He was an arse.

He almost wrote to Teresa, the awful girl he brought upstairs the other day, a letter today asking for her to keep quiet, but he figured the more he bothered her the more likely she's going to tell the Daily Profit him and George are shop owners by day, deranged lovers by night.

Fred threw his pillow against the wall by George's bed and the cheap fabric finally ripped causing feathers to explode everywhere.

"Fuck," he muttered as a single feather drifted by his shoe, the rest were completely covering his brother's bed. With that he got up and walked out of the room, not even bothering to vanish the feathers, he doubted George would be coming home tonight. In fact he was probably flirting with some whore right now just to get under his skin. He could feel it, the prickling of his blood as if it was hot and starting to simmer.

It did hurt, the flirting thing, it physically hurt, and if they kissed it would hurt more and the closer they got to each other and the farther George got from him… well George would be hurting himself as well. It must be a spite thing.

With a sigh Fred located the spare bottle of Firewhiskey, he could've given it to George but he was trying to avoid giving his brother alcohol, he didn't need his twin, his business partner, and his lover becoming a drunk. Of course George would just love messing up their situation more and then somehow it'd end up being Fred's fault anyways.

"'Cause I'm just one big fuck up," Fred muttered to himself as he took a deep gulp of firewhiskey. He should've just died in the war… that would be better than this any day. He would die, which would cause George to die and they'd be happy dead people. Fred let out a laugh that turned into a sob before taking another sip of firewhiskey.

And Fred and George respectively spent the rest of the evening drinking away their sorrows.