Darkness in the Deep
Disclaimer: I don't own anything affiliated with the Lord of the Rings books or movies, they belong to J. R.R Tolkien and New Line etc, so don't sue me because I have nothing! This is just a little fic I wrote inspired by Legolas in the battle of Helms Deep (the movie version) there are MAJOR TWO TOWER MOVIE SPOILERS so read at your peril if you haven't seen it yet. It'll be from Legolas' POV, probably be a stand alone thing, I just needed a little angsty outlet, hope y'all enjoy!
Helms Deep, the dead of night. With the rain hammering mercilessly down upon us, harsh and bitter as our situation. I stand with my kindred, in sombre lines, waiting. Waiting for an onslaught that could prove this to be our final night on Middle Earth. It is a humbling thought. That not one of us may survive this night. Here we are, surrounded by the beasts of Isengard, who know not mercy or compassion, who know not fear or concern, who were bred with a sole purpose, to destroy the lives of every innocent in our world, no matter the cost.
In our midst, there are even children, mere babes who should have no need to fight, to battle for their very existence. It should be but a nightmare, a mere vision of night to them, not the harsh reality that faces us now. They may never see the light of a new day, never see their mothers or sisters again. Never have the chance to grow old, as is their birthright. But they stand, brave as the grown men around them, facing death. Mere babes…
In all my three thousand years and more, never have I witnessed such a sight, we are outnumbered by several thousands, already I have made my fears known.
Looking back 'twas a mistake to even mention it. All I did was stir the masses into greater apprehension.
I argued with Aragorn, told him that it was hopeless, that all these men would perish, I despaired and I wish I had not. I have had far longer on this earth than any of those men, longer to gather wisdom and see the world around me, if it is to end tonight, at least I have the luxury of many ages, many times the amount of others. But it is not fair to me, how those so young, so innocent, must be drawn into war, to face no future, to have no dawn to look towards. Hope comes at such a great price these days.
The battle begins, swift and horrifying as a storm. The faces of those around me begin to blur, I kill because I must, I take no pleasure in it unlike those I face. My bow sings in deadly accuracy, there is not one I aim for who does not fall dead, until one…
In the blur of the battlefield below I see a bright glow, but it is not the joyous arrival of Mithrandir, it is a fell Orc with a burning pyre, and though the rain falls ruthlessly, its evil flame is not quenched. I know Aragorn sees it too.
"Take him down Legolas!" He cries in elvish, desperation in his voice. I take aim, but my shot is not true! It hits the despicable creature in the shoulder, but it does not kill him. He keeps running, he is as desperate to complete his run as I am to stop it.
"Kill him, KILL HIM!" Aragorn screams, and I aim once more, but again! My shot does not kill, and I know I have lost my chance. With fear in the pit of my stomach, I watch and it seems as time stands still as the creature leaps into the tray at the bottom of the wall, and I see an explosion, bright as the sun, which rocks the very foundations of the Deeping Wall. In despair I watch as the smoke clears, and a terrible hole has torn the wall asunder, and the Orcs are flooding in like the tide. So many must have died in the blast alone, atop that wall that is no more. Guilt floods over me in waves, watching the fell beasts spill in, my kindred rush to hinder them, but there is so little time and so few elves to stop the onslaught. I see a discarded shield and slide down the stairway, firing shot after deadly shot, and Orcs fall in my path as I skim down the path.
But why that one?
The most important shot, the most important to kill and yet that the one I miss? How is it possible, the fates were against me for that one shot? The evil being was right in my path, it was so easy to hit, and yet I failed. Vaguely I hear Aragorn cry to retreat to the keep, but it seems like a dream to me. I wonder what he thinks of me now? I survey the carcasses of the Orcs, fallen among the bodies of my own kind, and those of men. The hate surges up inside me. So many died because of me, because of my failure. One shot.
One shot… it resounds in my head over and over, I cannot block it out.
One shot, so many dead, your fault…one shot. I see Aragorn shout retreat to Haldir, who nods. Friend Haldir, what will he think of me, and Gimli and Aragorn?! What will they think? I failed them, failed them all. But I will never know what Haldir thinks… many Orcs created a melee with the elves, as we retreated, they pressed forward. A fell Orc blade had caught Haldir's side, he had swept his hand over the wound looking at the blood in disbelief. I see another Orc come behind him, I open my mouth to cry out in warning, but no sound comes out, Aragorn cries also, but it is too late, an Orc's fell weapon is buried into Haldir's back, and he crumples. Aragorn is closer than I and rushes to his side. I see my old friend collapse and die in Aragorn's arms. 'Twas my fault… I did not warn him in time, my elven eyes saw the Orc before Aragorns but I could not cry another failing…
So many dead, one shot, Haldir…your fault. I feel like screaming I despair as I retreat to the keep, unshed tears in my eyes. Tears for so many men and elves.
The Orcs pressed forward, killing many of my kind and those of men as they went, those not quick enough to escape. If I had stopped the pyre, they would not have got in so easily, so much more chance to retreat, more lives saved. But I missed.
With dawns approach, indeed, hope came also. Hope for the men and for Aragorn, but no hope for me.
Mithrandir arrived, with the Rohirrim who had been in exile. As the sun rose, the light of Mithrandir blinded the Orcs with his might, and they ran, ran after many had fallen by the powerful blades of the Riders of Rohan. Cheers went up around the battlements, but I could lift neither my heart nor my spirits, and so when all was done I sat alone in the inner halls of the fortress, alone with the little voice whispering in my ear.
Haldir is dead, so many are dead. It's your fault, you failed them, failed Aragorn, failed Mithrandir, you could not stop it, all those men, those babes, they paid the price for your mistake…it's all your fault.
At length, Aragorn approached me.
"What troubles you Legolas, 'twas a welcome victory that accompanied the dawn."
"I missed…" I murmured, more to myself than to he.
The ranger frowned, and knelt to look into my eyes, but I could not meet his gaze.
"Legolas, do not take on the burden of guilt unnecessarily. Many would not have been able to halt the fiends path, you did no wrong."
"You do not understand friend Elessar. Every shot that sang forth from my bow was true, except that one alone. Harder shots I have had to make, and I succeeded in all of them. But not that one shot… He was in my line of sight, 'twas an easy hit, but I failed. Failed Aragorn! And now many are dead or injured unnecessarily. Haldir, one of my oldest friends… how can you say I have no guilt, when my failure allowed an open doorway to those fiends?!"
"Legolas, listen to me!" Aragorn grabbed my shoulders roughly and I finally looked up at him, tears in my eyes once more.
"Listen to me." His voice softened. "If that beast had not succeeded in his task, do you think those fell creatures would have given up? There were many more fires Legolas and many more Orcs to carry them, if it had not been him it would have been another or another until the task was completed. To let despair consume you is a dangerous thing my friend, dangerous indeed for an Elf. Cast away your sorrows, you killed many of them, friend Gimli was most annoyed that your score beat his own. We have won a great victory here this morn, and though we lost many, we beat them back, and protected the women and children, many more could have died. Be happy you were not one of them my friend and do not dwell on what you could have done better, there is time enough for that when this war is over. Think of those we saved and you will know you made a difference for the better. Understand?"
I looked into his eyes and saw the concern and hope in them, I wished not to ruin his mood, I could not take away his hope, even when I had none myself.
"Very well my friend." I replied and offered him as big a smile as I could muster. After regarding me closely for a second more he nodded and clapped a hand round my shoulder in reassurance.
"Come my friend, we have much to talk of and much still to do." I followed him, my false smile still in place, but I could not muster any joy in my heart.
For although I knew Elessar spoke some truth, in my heart I could not believe it. Dawn and new hope had come to them, but the little fell voice still resounded in my head. Would dawn ever come for me too?
TBC? What do you think? I could continue or I could not. Review please, tell me what you thought. This fic just spawned from a conversation I had with my friends about Leggy's failing to hit the Orc, and how I thought he would deal with it. It was pretty crappy, but then I am rather sleep deprived, though that isn't really an excuse. Don't judge me too harsh, review please ^^.