The Interview Part II: Slade
***I do not own Teen Titans, or Bleach which has been referenced here, although I do like references***
As the familiar stage is illuminated a familiar set appears before the crowd the most dominating object being a large wooden table, several comfortable chairs, and a pretty young woman sitting behind the desk. The woman, known throughout Jump City as Trish Stratus sits behind her large desk as usual for the start of the hit television show 'Local Heroes'.
If a viewer of this show would look closer though, they would notice that the host's body language seems different than normal. Where Miss Stratus is normally relaxed and confident now her eyes dart back and forth, her posture is rigid and her face appears to glisten with a layer of sweat.
"Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for tuning in tonight." The young woman began. "I must apologize to our audience; our scheduled interview has been canceled. Luckily we have been… approached by another interested party that has requested an interview of their own, and so without further ado please welcome, uh Mr. Slade."
At her introduction Slade proceeds to walk out onto the stage wearing his normal tactical armor, but this time it includes a small bow tie addition. The mercenary proceeds to wave down to the crowd as if trying to calm them down from there excited cheers, despite the fact that the entire stage is dead quiet.
"Thank you for inviting me onto the show. I must say your timing was excellent, just as I expected it to be for my triumphant return to television."
"Oh? Are you planning on continuing to be a T.V. presence then?" the young hostess asked, as her interviewer skills began kicking in.
"But of course, this is called 'Local Heroes' is it not? Who better to interview than someone who has had such a positive impact like myself, I am sure that you have dozens of clips of my heroics."
"Um you are a known villain who has attempted to take over the city multiple times. What type of heroics are you talking about?" The woman asked in confusion.
"Well I do not expect someone of such meager intellect to understand the heroics behind my actions. I have been pushing the Titans, and Jump City, to learn self reliance and to use teamwork to prove their worth. Is there any better example of heroics than that? Also I rescued a cat from a tree the other day."
"Okay… so what is your next plan for the city then Slade?"
"Please call me Mr. Slade, my plans will continue as they have been, after all everything has been connected, like a single great performance that I am conducting." The armor clad man said giving a sense that he was smirking behind his mask.
"Wait, so what you are saying is that you planned for the Titans to defeat you time and time again, thwarting your plans? I'm sorry but that seems like an excuse more than anything."
"Well that just shows how little you know Miss Stratus" Slade arrogantly responded. "For you see every 'defeat' as you call it has actually been a part of my grand scheme to bring the city under my control, like pieces on a chess board the Titans are merely pawns" Slade smugly sat back in his chair as if he had just explained the meaning of life.
"What?! That makes no sense! You planned for the Titans to continue to win and beat you, destroying your machines and forcing you to flee?"
"Ah but did the Titans ever truly defeat me?" Slade asked as if posing a great question.
"Yes, yes they did! Several times in fact if the reports are correct." the young woman exasperated.
"You clearly do not understand the greatness of my intellect, I am truly unappreciated in my time much like my idol." the criminal mastermind sighed as he pulled out a photo of his 'idol'.
"Um excuse me Mr. Slade? Is that a picture of the anime character 'Aizen Sosuke'?" the woman questioned.
"Ah I see you can appreciate greatness then despite what you seem limited to." Slade answered as he lovingly caressed the photo.
Trish stared at the man who was acting as if this picture was made of solid gold trying to come up with an appropriate reaction.
"But he also lost… to a teenager if I remember correctly."
"Ha I was wrong, you are clearly naïve to the world, the great Aizen never 'lost' to Ichigo Kurosaki, rather he planned his great deception in order for everyone to drop their guard."
"So if what you are saying is true, Aizen planned on being defeated and being imprisoned for potentially hundreds of years. Just as you planned on being defeated by your apprentice, after almost taking over the city I might add, and then being incinerated, only to be revived by a demonic god later on to then be betrayed again?"
"Well yes of course it sounds a bit strange when you word it that way but all the greatest masterminds in history have…"
"Bull shit! None of that makes any sense! How could anyone plan all that random crap and coincidence out? Also while we are on this topic what the hell is with you and Aizen and your obsession with teenagers?"
"We do not target teenagers. We simply went after those with talent most likely to join us."
"Are you freaking kidding me? Ichigo was a teenager with a fierce protective streak, Orihime was a teenager, and you repeatedly target a group of teenage super heroes specifically the one trained by the legendary hero 'Batman'. That seems like the worst type of people to go after."
"Well they might not seem like the best choices but I assure you…" Slade responded with a slightly quiet tone, trying to justify his choices to the interviewer and himself.
"Really… I would have never guessed that those trained by superheroes to be 'good guys' might not make the best villains" Trish responded, her voice oozing with sarcasm.
"Well of course I understand your confusion unfortunately I do not have the time to explain it to you." The older man responded completely oblivious to the sarcastic comment.
"Moving along" the young woman sighed, giving up the failing conversation. "What is it with you and those robots that you seem to have a conveniently unlimited supply of?"
"Ah yes my Slade-bots, they are the perfect weapons. I came up with the design after I had a dream about Chuck Norris in a ninja outfit." Slade responded as if going into a day dream.
"Are you joking? You created so called 'advanced' ninja robots, and they repeatedly lose to a group of teenagers, one of which is just a normal person who knows martial arts. It seems like you just enjoy wasting money and time building robots for the Titans to destroy."
"Well it might appear that way but in reality I am just testing the Titans, analyzing their weaknesses and preparing to strike, just as I have been doing with you Miss Stratus."
The interviewer raised an eyebrow before looking around confused for a moment. "You are testing me? Why would you bother doing that?"
"Very simple my dear, I have chosen you to be my next apprentice, I have an exact copy of my outfit ready for you all I need is one simple question answered. How old are you?"
"Excuse me? If you must know I am twenty five but that is hardly any of your business." Trish responded becoming peeved at the man's question.
"Ah too bad, about a decade too old." the maniac responded sadly.
With his last comment the young woman quickly raised her hand and slapped the psychopath across the face sending him to the ground… where he exploded, revealing a small screen built into the face of the, now obvious, robot.
"As I have said before Miss Stratus, everything always goes exactly as I have planned it I will be in touch." Slade responded as the screen faded to black.
The young woman glanced around, once again completely confused as to what was going on. "Uh well I guess that is the end of our show tonight, thank you for joining us… goodnight."
This was my first attempt at doing a comedy fiction, not sure if I succeeded or not though. Either way this was based on my original story "Interview".