Secrets & Sins: Sins

"He was her paramount secret, and she was his greatest sin."

It was a crime, never to be spoken about.

A sin.

It never should've happened. It should've ended the moment it began, but feelings clouded his judgment, and it carried on.

For years.

No one thought anything of it, a few people had their suspicions, but he was Commander Nathaniel Taylor; he had a wife, a son, and a career. He wouldn't throw it all away for her, a private under his command.

But he did risk it all. Each encounter came with a risk, a chance of being caught, it should've driven them to end it, but it only increased their desire.

They both knew it was wrong. Knew the consequences of what they were doing, but when he was with her, nothing had ever felt so right.

Before he met her, the thought of cheating hadn't even crossed his mind. He loved his wife, and his son, but once he laid his eyes on her, he knew he was in trouble. She was a medic fresh of training, not even age of minority, but she was stunning. Deep brown eyes, long black hair, and now a part of his unit.

Taylor never intended to fall in love with her, he never even wanted Wash in his unit, he got stuck with her, but from first glance he was entranced. He should've focused on his family, not his infatuation with a woman half his age. But he couldn't contain the overwhelming amount of feelings that overflowed him when she stepped inside the room.

He tried to deny them. Tried to ignore the feelings in hope that they would disappear, but they only grew stronger, and more apparent. He was good at masking his emotions, but not nearly as good at blocking his impulses much to his demise. He spent extra time with her, he trained her hard, molding her into the perfect soldier. He never noticed how intimate their training sessions were, till her breath was hot on him, and his mind drifted into dangerous territory.

It took Taylor two years to come to the realization that he had fallen for Wash, and even then he would never dare admit it out loud. He knew he couldn't be in love with her. She was his subordinate, a private, young and full of innocence. He could never give her what she wanted. Only an affair hidden in the shadows, covered by lies. It wasn't the life she wanted, it wasn't what she deserved. She deserved to have a husband, a family of her own. To be able to come back home to a husband and a child of her own, not to an empty room on-base.

But one impetuous kiss changed everything.

And he was repentant to say, he didn't regret it.


It was Wash's third deployment with Taylor's unit, and her longest. They'd been only overseas for a month, not even a quarter of the way through their deployment when Taylor got shot, and shamefully, his family was the last thing on his mind. While, admittedly, the bullet just grazed him, Wash still insisted on stitching him up since he did bleed through his shirt. If he hadn't, she doubted she would even know, he had a knack for avoiding medical attention till he fell over.

Taylor knew he should be thinking about his family, not how soft Wash's hands felt pressed against his exposed skin, or how captivating she looked with her eyebrows knitted together in concentration. He studied her face as she focused on his injury, making each stitch carefully. She took her time, while the rest of their unit celebrated their success outside the tent with beers she wasn't even old enough to drink.

Once finished, Wash threw his balled up black shirt over to him. "You should stop trying to get shot, sir. I may have to call in early retirement."

He smiled. "Bullet just grazed me."

She resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "That's what you said last time...sir." She added his title as an afterthought.

He could've called her on insubordination, both times, but instead Taylor gave a chuckle.

"And you stitched me up fine that time, too."

He caught the minuscule smile crossing her face, but missed her lingering gaze on his chest as he tugged his shirt back over his head and down his chest. Her eyes darted away before he could catch her, and she quickly gathered up the medical supplies spread out on the cot in one hand. Taylor glanced upwards in time to watch her retreat and stash the gear away.

As Alicia returned to the cot, Taylor stood up, positioning himself less than a foot away from her. Her breath hitched as their eyes locked in a previous fashion, but with more intensity, more intimacy, and an added passion belonging to both parties. The walls they built began to crumple and the lines they drew began to blur. Their breathing slowed, but before she could step away and prevent the imminent moment from occurring and then changing everything, he drew her in closer.

He swooped forward and dipped her into a kiss. She stood frozen for a split second, before she returned it eagerly. Her hand went to grip onto him as the kiss began to grow more passionate, before it came to a sudden halt. Nathaniel tore his lips away, and released Alicia from his grasp. Leaving their faces mere inches away, and leaving her craving more.

"We can't." Taylor shook his head, as he tried to make sense of what'd he just done. He kissed his subordinate.

Alicia stared at him, stunned. He kissed her, not the other way around.

"You kissed me," She said, and crossed her arms. She knew she shouldn't be talking to her CO like that, but considering what just took place and how many regulations they just broke, insubordination was that last thing she should be worried about.

"I know, damn it. But-" It wouldn't work out, he filled in within his head.

The list of reasons of why it wouldn't work went on forever within his head, but suddenly two lips pressed against his, and his resolve dissolved and all previous thoughts disappeared. He wrapped his arms around her, and she clung onto his shirt for support as he placed kisses along her neck. The kiss grew needy as lust filled their eyes, and he pushed her up against the only hard surface within the tent. He knew he should pull back, but with consent from Wash, he pushed forward and led her over to the small cot in the corner, his lips staying locked on hers the entire way.

As he went to lay her down on the makeshift bed, Alicia's memory sparked, and she muttered a weak protest. Not that she wanted the moment to end. "You're going to pull out your stitches."

There wasn't any hesitation in his response. "Don't care," He mumbled, and pressed his lips against hers once again. His words were the last of that night.

When morning came around, clothes were scattered across the tent floor, and two bodies were tucked closely together on the small cot. Alicia woke with a kiss from the warm body next to hers, and she rested her head on top of his chest. Eventually, the two of them would have a conversation about the events that unfolded the previous night, but neither one of them would say they regretted it, and neither could promise it wouldn't happen again.

And happen again, it did.

Night after night, he would wind up in her bed, entering with an excuse, and exiting with a lie. Day after day, they would sneak glances at one another, and steal touches, never showing more affection than friends.

No one knew for sure; they couldn't.

She was a flash of beauty that he could never forget, or ever regret.

His greatest secret.

His sin.