Up a Chimney
By Icka! M. Chif

"Deck the halls with boughs of holly," Kaito, in his guise as the Kaitou Kid with a Santa hat instead of his usual top hat, sang softly to himself. It was Christmas morning, too early for the residents of the Nakamori household to be up, which fit his plans perfectly. "Fa la la la la la la!"

Aoko was a funny girl. Here they were, in High School, and she still believed in Santa Claus. Well, if not Santa Claus, than the Magic and Spirit of the holidays, even if it was a borrowed tradition.

And who was he to say 'no' to any sort of magic?

"'Tis the season to be jolly," He re-arranged the gifts he had brought with him (with a tag reading 'from Santa Claus') under the tree, then smiled to himself, pleased with himself. "Fa la la la la la la!" Breaking into the Inspector's house had been laughably easy. He could have easily picked the lock to any of the doors, or climbed in through the window, but then he had to deal with the alarm system. And he didn't feel like messing up the Nakamori's protection system.

Which left his means of entry and escape with a solution that had him nearly in giggles.

The chimney.

It was a bit snug, but nothing too hard or impossible for him to deal with. He'd scooped it out before hand, making sure he could fit the day before while pretending to have a fight with Aoko about whether or not a jolly red fat man could fit down it. She'd even had it cleaned a few days prior, in anticipation of today's events, so his white suit wouldn't even get too dirty.

"Fast away the old year passes." Speaking of which, it was time for him to go. Leave Nakamori and Aoko to wonder about their mysterious Santa Claus, for he still had to head home for his own Christmas Traditions with his Mom. Nothing very big, but it was still special, a chance to relax and spend time with her and hear stories of the past. "Fa la la la la la la la!"

"Follow me in merry measure," One last glance around to make sure that he hadn't left any thing incriminating behind. Where as leaving a footprint behind wouldn't be so bad (might even lend a bit of strength to the whole 'Santa Claus' thing), it wouldn't do for Nakamori to figure just who had been creeping around his house. "Fa la la la la la la la!"

Perfect. Now for his escape. "While I tell of Yuletide treasure!" Treasure was right. This was one prank he was going to treasure for a long time. He crouched down to crawl into the fire place, then jumped to climb out via the chimney stack. "Fa la la la la la laa... eh?"

He was... stuck?!

Aw.... nut bunnies.

He wiggled around, attempting to gain some leverage to climb the rest of the way out. It wasn't like the chimney was all that big either, the exit was just a few feet above his head, and his feet were hitting brink on all sides, so he was out if the fireplace at least. But his shoulders were firmly stuck on either side of the wall, pinning his upper arms at his sides.

This was not good.

If he could just twist sideways a bit, he should be able to gain enough room and leverage to get loose. Then he'd be home free...

There was a faint 'click' and light appeared below his feet. He could hear the sounds of someone moving around the living room, and happily singing 'I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus' off key.

He had to give Aoko points for enthusiasm, even if her English was a bit off. But then he had no room to talk, he still had the occasional problem with his 'R's and 'L's too. (Rediizu ando Jentorumen, indeed...)

Her voice trailed off, and inquired in an almost childlike tone "Santa Claus?"

Some of the soot must have fallen while he had been fidgeting. He closed his eyes, consintrating on sending one thought at the girl. Don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look-

"Kid?!" Her voice was right under him, sharp with shock.

Stupid Aoko. She just had to look, didn't she?

"What are you doing there?!" She demanded and he could just picture her, wide eyed in surprise.

"Would you believe that I was just helping Santa out?" He offered, even as he cursed himself for such a lame excuse.


"I was merely checking your mistletoe for freshness-?"

"We don't have any mistletoe." Aoko growled. "Not after the stunt Kaito pulled last year."

Oh, yeah. The magical disappearing/reappearing mistletoe trick. That had been fun. He'd gotten her 4 or 5 times with it before she started threatening to shove his face into a mop.

"You're stuck, aren't you?" She commented dryly.

"Uh, no. No, I'm not." He lied badly. "I'm uh... inspecting the brick work here. The craftsmen ship is quite well done."

She didn't believe him for a moment. "That's it. I'm gonna light a fire under your tail feathers."

He could hear her move away momentarily, only to be replaced by the sound of someone setting wood down on concrete below him.

He was pretty sure that Aoko wouldn't actually do it, she'd make him sweat a bit, but she wouldn't actually hurt him. However, her father was a different story entirely.

He could just see the headlines tomorrow 'Inspector Captures Kaitou Kid in Chimney: Mistaken for Santa Claus?'.

Not in this life time. He squirmed around again, attempting to get free. His upper arms were still pinned, but he could move his lower arms and hands around. And that gave him an idea. He got one arm up and reached into his suit. There had been a reason why he had worn this suit instead of his normal gear. More toys to help get him out of jams.

Loud footsteps and a bass grumbling caused him to freeze. Inspector Nakamori. The footsteps paused close to the fireplace as the Inspector mumbled something that may or may not have been an inquiry to his daughters activities.

He could practically -feel- the sweetness and light radiating off of her as she chirped "The Kaitou Kid's trapped up in the flue, so I'm lighting a fire under him."

Nakamori, being the responsible parent he was, took a moment to ponder this statement. Then he muttered either 'Have fun' or 'Don't burn the place down' (it was hard to tell between his incoherent speech and the muffling properties of the bricks around him) and shuffled off in the general direction of the kitchen.

"Your Dad's not awake yet, is he?" He commented, finally grabbing hold of his gun.

"Not until the second cup of coffee anyway." Aoko agreed ruefully. She paused. "What was I doing again? Oh, yeah. Fire."

Having gotten a good grip on his gun, he lowered his hand again, pointing his weapon towards the floor and hoping that there wasn't anything in the way. (hitting his foot would not only be painfully embarrassing, it would be embarrassingly painful) "I'm terribly sorry, but I'm afraid I've got to fly." He apologized, pulling the trigger.

His gun didn't have much of a kick, due to the fact that it fired paper cards instead of the heavy metal bullets that most guns did, but it had just enough to launch him upwards a bit, and get him un-stuck. Reaching an arm up, he grabbed hold of the top of the chimney and with a quick twist and a flip, he was out of the smoke stack and on the roof.

He spared a glance down the chimney to verify that he hadn't hit her when he fired the gun (he hadn't, he gotten one of the logs instead) and shouted down to her "Merry Christmas!"

"And a Merry Christmas to you too!" Her laugher bubbled up from the bottom of the fireplace, the melodious sound following as he opened his glider wings, the pre-dawn wind catching them and sending him into the sky.

What a way to start Christmas Morning... he grinned to himself, turning the glider towards home, his warm bed, a few hours nap and eventually some hot chocolate if he was lucky (which he usually was).

But still, it had been worth it.

Feeling pleased with himself, he laughed and finished the carol he'd been humming earlier.

"Heedless of the wind and weather, Fa la la la la la la la- LA!!"


"Rediizu ando Jentorumen" = Romanji for the Katakana spelling of "Ladies and Gentlemen" ^^;; Yeah, I looked it up.

Yes, Kaito is singing 'Deck the Halls' out of order. But he wanted to sing, so we're not gonna argue! ^_^

Joyous Solstice and Happy Holydays to everyone!!!