"Wonderful news, darling! My plan for world domination is a resounding success! Since you've been patient with my schemes, a nice shiny new Australia is all yours!"

"Australia? But... why?"

"Oh dear, I thought you'd be impressed. They have koalas, the Sydney Opera and digeridoos!"

"...and huge spiders. Can't I have Italy instead? They have operas too. There's beautiful cathedrals and vineyards. It's warm nearly year round, and the beaches are lovely."

"Italy... well, that's a relief. For a moment, I thought you'd say France."

"What's wrong with France?"

"Ummm... I might have nuked it a bit."