~BtS~

Standing out in the rain
Knowing that it's really over
Please don't leave me alone
I'm flooded with all this pain
Knowing that I'll never hold ya
Like I did before the storm
Yeah
Like I did before the storm

~BtS~

I searched for her in the kitchen and in the living room, but I didn't find her, so I went straight for our bedroom. What I saw made me frown in confusion; Bella was in the same position I left her in this morning at 8 AM.

I swallowed thickly and then called her name again, "Bella?" my voice dropping as I took a step after another to get closer to her, my legs feeling as if they were heavier than I'd never felt them before.

"Bella?" I tried once more, this time sitting beside her on the bed, looking at her perfect features, with her pale skin that looked paler than ever.

"Bella?" another call of her name that I choked out, my throat closing and my mouth drying as fear crept inside of me.

Slowly, I brought my hand to touch her cheek, the coldness of her skin made my own blood run cold in my vines.

"Bella, why aren't you replying to me?" I whispered my question, my vision becoming blurry for some reason, and my throat closing even more that I started gasping for breaths.

"Bella! Wake the fuck up!" I started shaking her, holding her cold shoulders in my hands and gripping hard, hoping that that would wake her up and let her respond to me.

But she didn't.

"Bella, wake up, Bella, please, wake up!" I yelled at her limp form in my hand. "Bella, I brought you flowers, Bella, please open your eyes and look at them, please, I'm begging you!" my tears started to fall and I had no control at how heavy they were, my mind realizing what was going on before my mind wanted to believe it.

In my dazzled state, I checked for her pulse.

Nothing.

There was nothing.

"No!" I cried out. "No, Bella, no. You can't die. No! Not today, Bella, please! I still need to apologize, Bella. I still need to ask for your forgiveness, I need to tell you that I love you! Please, don't die, please!"

I shook her so hard that I knew if she was alive, it would've hurt her, but I couldn't help it. I needed her to wake up, and insanely, I thought that if I shook her harder, she would come alive again.

As I was shaking her, something fell on the bed next to me, I had no idea if it was in her hands or inside her clothes, but I knew that it was something that was with her. I had to open it and see what it was, even if my tears were blocking my vision.

It was a letter from her … to me.

Standing out in the rain
Knowing that it's really over
Please don't leave me alone
I'm flooded with all this pain
Knowing that I'll never hold ya
Like I did before the storm
Yeah
Like I did before the storm

Edward,

I'm so sorry you're reading this because I know that if you found it, it means that I'm already dead.

I wanted to write this letter to you so I would ask for your forgiveness. I did something horribly wrong, Edward. I was so wrapped in my job that I neglected my health for months and months that I went without a checkup, not even when that terrible headaches started eating at my brain off and on for months. I tried killing it with painkillers, not knowing that it was already killing me.

I finally found the chance to make some time for tests and rays just last week; results came yesterday. It's a brain cancer, Edward.

I wish if it stopped at that, but my doctor told me that I had less than one month to live. He asked me to get a second opinion, but I – I didn't want another doctor to tell me that I was going to die.

It hurts so much, Edward. It hurts to know that I would be leaving Seth, that I would be leaving you. But I promise you I have no choice, angel. It's out of my hands.

Yesterday I wanted to tell you, but I couldn't, I was too broken and I just wanted to be in your arms, I wanted to feel you just for the night and I decided to tell you all about it the next day. But I couldn't, you had something more important to say.

I thought you were going to confess something to me, I didn't expect you to ask for a divorce. But I thought – you wouldn't need it, I would be dead within a month anyway.

I wanted to delay it because I knew I wouldn't live long and I didn't want our last days together to be in courts, fighting against each other. So, I asked you for that condition so that Seth will always remember that Daddy took a good care of Mommy on her last days, he even carried her every night and put her in bed.

It's just – a good memory for our son to remember our life together with, don't you think?

I'm so sorry I left this way, angel. Please, forgive me. I know I wasn't the best wife to you for the past months, and I wish if I could've tried a little bit harder to push the pain away and just be with you.

I love you, Edward. I never stopped loving you, not for a second.

Goodbye, Edward. Take a good care of Seth.

Yours,

Bella.

P.S: I know about her. From day one. And I forgive you.

~BtS~

Never give up on those you love.

Apologize before it's too late.

Communicate: Talk, and listen.


True facts: Brian cancer could affect the sexual desire, your way in choosing words, and your way in dealing with things.


AN: I caved in and updated earlier every time because I just love you guys so much and couldn't leave you hanging.

Thank you so much for reading and staying with me for the whole ride, you guys are awesome.

Special thank you to everyone who reviewed, it means so much to me that you took the time to leave me a review to tell me how much you're enjoying my little story.

Lastly, this story is based on some article I read on Facebook a while back, and I couldn't get it out of my mind, I had to write it. It's all over the internet, if you wish to read said article - just google (30 Days of Carrying My Wife) or (Carried Away)

Until we meet again.

Much Love,

Rose