Chapter 2: Despair

I was focused on the ramifications of this new revelation, for me. I have been called selfish, self-centered and egotistical, usually by Edward, but I had ignored the ramifications until now. Of course, he knew – he could analyze and dissect all my thoughts but to me they were only fleeting images or ideas in an endless passage of time. Today, Edward was absolutely right, I was only thinking of me and what this potential new life would mean to my life. I should have been worried about Bella's health and fear for her child, or Edward's feelings of responsibility. Or Carlisle - he has never injured a human in his life and he would be devastated to do so even if he felt justified. But at that moment I could only think of myself and knew my life would never be the same. A baby conceived with a vampire. I walked home deep in thought.

"Rose, baby, what did Edward want?" asked Emmett. He doesn't know. My man was lounging in front of the TV watching football like usual but all I could do was look at him and think of a child with his dimples and smile. Emmett's child but not mine. My dreams of children had been crushed when my human life had come to its abrupt end but I had found a family with the Cullens, and true love with Emmett. Emmett is the polar opposite of Royce King and I will be forever grateful to Carlisle for changing Emmett for me; as well as to Emmett for his acceptance of his new immortality and of me. But we could never have a family of our own.

"It was Bella, Em, she and Edward are coming home - leaving right now and they'll be in tomorrow." I tried to sound nonchalant but was unsuccessful.

"Bella called you?" he was as shocked as I was.

"Yeah..", I hesitated, "there's news. I'll let Bella tell you."

Anyone else would have pestered me until I gave in and spilled the beans, not Emmett. He just pulled me into his arms to kiss me - he was never one to nag, that was just one of the million things I love about Emmett. I was so distracted I didn't even change the channel; Emmett watched game after game while I was lost in thought again.

Vampire babies? How? Not vampire - half-human, I corrected myself. I understand enough of human biology and vampire physiology that I guessed this would only be possible with a human female and not a female vampire ... my thoughts drifted to Emmett. Would he want a baby when he found out it was possible? Possible, but only with someone else. I cringed at the mental picture. Would I be alone again? Alone, forever.

I brooded for the rest of the evening, Emmett guessed there was something wrong but he just held me in his arms all night, for which I was eternally grateful. He didn't even suggest we go bed, knowing I had something on my mind. Emmett, my perfect mate. He knew my past and would never make me an unwilling participant in his bed.

He told me the cottage was nearly done, said the closet was massive and that Esme had started the garden in the back. It sounded lovely but I was too absorbed in my own despair that I couldn't garner much enthusiasm. He did say Alice seemed distracted but didn't really think much of it, to Emmett, that was Alice. I wondered what Alice knew.