Whitechapel fan fiction.
Monday morning. How can it be Monday morning already? Emerson Kent thought as he pulled his coat on and buttoned it up. Although he had declined Mansall's invitation of going for a couple of rounds at the pub on Saturday night to celebrate his new house, Kent was tired. He had caught up with work over the weekend and was glad that he didn't venture out of his flat. He got countless texts from Mansall, Riley and even Miles about how he should meet them in the pub. It turns out that his boss DI Chandler didn't go to the knees up either. Well at least that was one upside he thought as he picked up his bag, notes, keys and helmet. He really should get rid of his moped, but it cost next to nothing to maintain and put fuel in and he only used it for the work run and small outings. It did the job. And he was rather fond of it.
Sighing, he walked out of his flat and locked the door. There was a mirror opposite his front door and he quickly checked his appearance. A dark blue shirt and a proper suit, a new suit at that. He had curled his hair a little more than usual, perhaps Chandler would notice he thought. He smiled weakly at his reflection and left his block of flats. He had been there for 4 years now and he loved it, so much more upper class than his old place, he shivered at the thought. But how much he had changes during those 4 long years, he remembered back through all the murders and experiences. He had come out of it stronger, although Mansall wouldn't agree with that. He walked out into the street and went over to his moped which wasn't there. He frowned and took a step backwards. It was there last night, he was sure of it. He raised his free hand and held onto the back of his head pushing this hair through his fingers, his mind was buzzing as he tried to work out what to do. How was he going to get to work now?
He stood for a few moments thinking when he jumped at a car born being blown in front of him. He looked up and smiled softly. Chandler was in his black Range Rover with the car window wound down and a concerned look on his face. "Is everything alright Kent?" he asked.
He watched as Chandler stepped out of his car and walked a few paces towards him because he hadn't responded. It had been about 3 years since his boss had accused him of being a mole during the Kray investigation and somehow they had gotten past that and were working strongly together, more so than they did do before. It was him most of the time that Chandler asked to do really important work, it was him who he asked to escort him and go and talk to witnesses. Chandler always gave him praise, never tore him down for a mistake, Chandler was nice to him, they understood each other so well. Maybe that's why he was eager to please him.
He blinked. Chandler was stood closer; about a foot separated them now. Looking down quickly and clearing his throat, he looked back up at his DI who was now looking very concerned. "Sorry sir, I was miles away."
"I noticed. Erm where's your moped?" chandler asked, looking around a little as if he was going to find it standing suddenly in front of him.
"Well, I presume whoever has it won't be returning it anytime soon." He said, moving his helmet to his other hand and flexing his fingers.
"You should go to the police, do you know anyone?" chandler asked with a grin on his face. "But seriously, when we get to the station you're gonna have to report it. I'm sorry Kent. I know what it's like to have your mode of transport nicked."
"Of course you had your car stolen." He said, remembering the Kray case yet again. "But I will report it sir."
"Good now come on or we'll be late." Chandler said, walking a few paces away.
"What do you mean?" Kent asked frowning.
"I'm giving you a lift." He said, stopping in his tracks.
Kent swallowed. "I couldn't sir; I'll be fine getting the bus."
"No you won't. And you'll be late. Now come on. You can leave the helmet in the boot, I'll drop you off tonight, and that's if we don't get a big case."
"Sir are you sure?" this couldn't be happening he thought. Yes they had been in the same car before and Chandler had given him a lift home a few times after a meal or social event but it was nothing like this.
"Emerson. Stop arguing. You're nearly as bad as Miles." The DI said and carried on walking to the car. Kent couldn't help but laugh at the reference, but nevertheless he stood dithering on the pavement. "Come on." Chandler said again, drawing his attention back to the matter in hand.
He sighed, giving up and walked over to the car and put his helmet in the boot which Chandler had opened. Their eyes met and he shivered as Chandler's eyes looked deep into his own. He moved away, breaking the gaze and swallowed the lump in his throat.
They both got in and he leant back into the seat. His scars that the Krays inflicted on him were hurting a little today but that was only because he had been sitting down a lot over the weekend. He shifted slightly in his seat, trying to get comfortable.
"You alright?" chandler asked, starting the car up again.
"Yeah, I've been catching up on paperwork over the weekend and I've been sitting down a lot." He said, trying to be delicate.
Chandler sighed. "Of course." He said. "You must know how sorry I am that that happened to you Kent. I thought my heart had stopped when we got called that you were in hospital."
He smiled a little. "Thank you sir. But its 3 years ago now. I think I've grown up since then."
"I agree you've become an excellent DC." There was a moment's pause before he spoke again. "Would you ever consider going for DS?"
Kent frowned. "Skip's job?"
"Not technically Miles job, but I don't know if he retired and there was a space, would you?"
Why would Chandler be asking him this? "I don't know sir, it's a lot to think about, especially with my moped and it's Monday."
Chandler laughed. "Alright, I see your point." He said and they pulled up at the station. "But do let me know if anything's wrong Kent, I'd hate to see you struggling for no good reason."
He got out of the car shakily, only just remembering to grab his bag. "I will do. Thank you sir. You've done loads for me today."
Chandler put a hand on his arm and he swallowed at his touch. "Don't thank me, I know you're worth it Kent." He said softly, let his arm drop and walked away from him into the station.
Kent stood frozen to the spot for a moment and snapped out of it. He walked into the station, chandler had waited for him and they walked to the main incident room together, talking about Mansall's little get together at the weekend.
But all the while they were speaking, Kent's head was swimming, did his boss finally understand him? There were so many emotions flying around his head, but he was determined to do his boss proud,
The start of another working week Joe Chandler thought as he hung his outer coat in on the stand and looked around the Main Incident Room. It might sound bad or wrong to say it, but he was really hoping for a good case this week. Even with all the stress that came with a good case, there is something about stolen property and drunken brawls that doesn't get him excited.
Chandler looked to his right and smiled weakly at Miles. "Yes thank you." He said and looked over at Kent who was sat at his desk with his back to him. He was sat hunched over slightly with his head hanging down. Chandler frowned a little and walked towards his office.
"It's a shame you didn't come on Saturday, neither did Kent actually." Miles said taking a seat in the office. Chandler sat down and started to arrange his watch, his phone, his police badge, a pen and his tiger balm. Just in case he thought tapping it twice.
"Normally I would have done but I had things to do." He said and sat back to examine his work. He moved his phone a little more to the left and pushed his watch down a little. He raised his eyes to meet Miles'. "What?"
"You're not gonna have a turn again are you?"
Chandler laughed shakily. "I have nothing to be stressed about. When we do get a big case, you'll know about it." He said and pulled his planner in front of him, moved it to the right and opened it. "I had to give Kent a lift into work this morning. He had his moped stolen so he might be a little agitated."
Miles blew out. "Has it been reported?"
"Yes, I made him report it when we came in." chandler said. He wasn't really looking at his planner; he leant back again and put his hands together, looking at Kent through the glass. "I am concerned about Kent."
"He seems distracted." Miles said, turning round slightly to look through the glass panelling at Kent.
Chandler could see him much more clearly now. Kent had his hands covering his forehead and his eyes shut. His phone, his watch and a pen were carefully laid out on the table, much like his own arrangement and there was an open file on his desk. Kent opened his eyes and they met instantly, but he didn't raise his head. He looked upset, which he understood, the lad hadn't had a good morning, but there was something else in his eyes, a secret, he looked in pain.
"Do you want me to have a word?" Chandler blinked suddenly and broke the gaze with Kent. He turned his attention to Miles who had turned back around and was frowning slightly.
"No, it's alright. I'll have a word with…where's he gone?" Chandler turned to look through the glass once more to find Kent missing from his desk.
Miles got up and he followed. He went over to his office door which was slightly ajar and called out to Riley, who was shifting though paperwork. "Riley, do you know where Kent's gone?" he asked and decided to walk into the room. He noticed Mansall turn round and look at Kent's desk.
"No sorry. He just got up and left. No phone call, nothing important. He walked out without a word. But he doesn't look right." Riley said.
"He had his moped stolen this morning so he won't be in the best of moods." Chandler said, stopping short of Riley's desk, he turned to look at Miles.
"Bathroom break?" the DS said shrugging slightly, but it was easy to see he was concerned.
"He always waits for the breaks we have. He doesn't just leave, he always tells me." Chandler said.
"Give him 20 minutes or so, if he isn't back, you can go and look for him. You know he goes down to the archives a lot." Miles said.
Chandler couldn't disagree with the logic so he retreated back to his desk and sat down.
25 minutes passed and Kent hadn't returned. Chandler had been sitting on pins and sighed. "I'm going to go and look for him. He never takes this long. Something has happened." He said, rising to his feet and picking his phone up and slipping his watch back on his wrist.
"Why are you so concerned?" Miles asked, setting his file down on his lap and sitting up straighter in the chair.
"Its 3 years to the day that I suspended Kent during the Kray case. That was such a mistake." He said, guilt rising up inside of him rapidly.
"Yeah a mistake. I think you've made up for that by now."
Chandler shook his head. "Things like that still hurt Miles. I doubted him terribly when I had no right to. He said this morning that he was in pain, can you remember when he got attacked? I hated myself for making him go out alone. Never again." He confessed.
"Go and find him then. I know Kent, we both know him more now. He's an emotional lad. Go on boss, I'll cover for you, but let me know if he's alright." Miles said, his face washing over once more with concern.
Chandler breathed out and smiled weakly. "Thank you Miles. See you in a bit." He said and walked out of the office, grabbing his coat and giving a nod to Riley who was still sat at her desk looking over paperwork, he walked out of the Incident Room and over to the main reception. "Have you seen DS Kent?" he asked.
"Yes sir." The tall brown haired woman behind the desk said, shuffling papers whilst looking at him. "I saw him go out of the entrance about half an hour ago. He looked really upset. Is it about his missing moped?"
"Maybe. Which way did he go?" he asked, tapping slightly on the desk.
"He went right, towards the staff car park I think." The woman said, laying her papers down and stapling them together in one swift action.
"Thank you for your help." He said, tapped the desk once more and walked out of the station stopping just outside and thought for a moment. He could feel his heart pounding against his ribcage. He had to find Kent, he had to.
He pulled his coat round him; it was a crisp day, much too cold to be standing about he thought. He looked left and then right and started walking along to the staff car park. He round the corner and stopped.
Kent was sat on the pavement by his car sobbing. His hands covered his face and he sat hunched up. He didn't look up when he walked round the corner; he must not have heard him. Chandler stepped closer. "Emerson?" he asked softly. He knew that Kent had a private cry every now and then, but this was heart wrenching sobs. And his heart was breaking.
Kent looked up immanently, startled. He got to his feet shakily and chandler stepped forward, holding out his hand as a gesture of understanding. "Emerson, it's alright." He said, carefully stepping forward and holding a hand out to him.
Kent shook his head and was making small steps backwards. "I'm sorry sir. I'm so sorry." He said his voice thick with tears.
Chandler stepped forward again but Kent ran round his car and out of the car park. He tried to follow him, but Kent was much too fast for him. He stopped, out of breath and panting, hating himself for letting Kent go.
Kent slowed down and leant against a wall in an alleyway, trying to catch his breath. He shouldn't have run off from Chandler, but he couldn't bear to let the DI see him so upset. It wasn't just because of his moped, everything with the anniversary of the Krays, his feelings for Chandler, the fact that he was treated differently because of his age; it was just all getting too much for him.
He wiped his eyes on hi coat sleeve and breathed out. He had to compose himself. He wasn't going to go back to the station; he had no excuse for just walking out and then running away from Chandler. What could he say?
Taking a few deep breathes, he was about to push off the wall and make his way home when he felt his phone ring. He always kept his phone on vibrate, mainly because he couldn't have it on silent because he would miss any calls, they weren't really allowed their phones out at the station.
He pulled it out of his pocket and stared at the screen, Di Chandler. Rejecting the call, he pushed it back into his pocket and ran a hand over his face. Chandler only wanted to see where he was and to tell him to get back to work he thought, finally pushing off the wall and walking back onto the main street towards his flat.
He used to flat share but that ended when his flat mates all finished with Uni and wanted a place to themselves. There were only three of them living in the flat he was in now and he enjoyed the space. He didn't have any intention of flat sharing again.
He felt his phone buzz again when he rounded the corner of his flat; he pulled it out, Chandler again. He rejected it once more and let himself into the black of flats, firmly closing the door behind him. He was outside his flat when he heard a car door slam. Stopping and standing next to the window so he wouldn't be seen, he felt his body shake as he spotted Chandler walking towards the door to the flats.
Panic ran though him as he unlocked his door and closed it behind him, locking it as well. He sank to the floor, wincing in pain as he touched the carpet with a small thud. He sighed and heard his buzzer go off. Chandler's voice came through the intercom. "Kent? Kent are you there?" the DI sounded really concerned and he was dithering between leaving Chandler outside or allowing him to come up. "Emerson, I know you're there, I saw you when I pulled up. Let me in please." Chandler said.
Kent let his head fall as tears ran from his eyes. "Emerson, I won't leave, I'll stay here until you let me in."
The intercom fell silent and Kent felt his phone ringing again. He pulled it out and threw it across the room. He brought his knees up and buried his head in them, hot tears stinging is eyes and running down his face.
Chandler wouldn't understand. His DI didn't care about what happened to him.
He could still hear his phone vibrating, but he let it ring. He couldn't face anyone right now, not even the man he loved. He rubbed his eyes and controlled his breathing the best he could.
"Emerson, please." Chandler said through the intercom again. "Let me know you're alright, please Emerson."
He dragged himself to his feet and went over to his intercom on the wall, he swallowed and reached a hand out, his fingers hovering over the door release, but instead he disconnected it, chandler wouldn't be able to buzz through now.
He walked over to his phone and picked it up. 6 missed calls and Chandler was ringing again. He turned the phone off completely and placed it on the table along with his keys, his badge and his watch.
He wasn't as hysterical now, more in a state of depression. He pulled his tie off and hung his coat and jacket up. He ran a hand through his hair, regretting curling it this morning, after all what was the point?
Suddenly there was a loud knock on his door. He stopped, his fingers still in his hair and stared at the door. He hadn't pressed the release button. That means someone else did.
Four knocks again, this time more loud and persistent. Kent crept closer to the door, his mouth was dry and he felt like he was going to be sick.
Six knocks this time. He crept closer. He could hear his breathing and he could feel his heart pounding against his ribcage. Eight knocks. Each time, getting louder, more urgent, more concerned.
"Ey, what do yer think yer're doing?"
Kent frowned and crept over to the door, trying to listen. He knew it was his next door neighbour Laura. He got on well with her, although she treated him like a child. At least she hadn't been the one to let chandler up. He knew it was his DI, no one else knocked in an even pattern.
"DI Chandler." He heard his boss say and imagined him pulling out his police badge. "And you are?"
"Mrs Collins. But never mind that, what yer doing banging Emerson's door down?"
"I wanted to check if DC Kent is alright, he walked out of the station without a word."
There was a pause. "Yer the one who gave Em a lift this morning ain't yer?"
He heard chandler clear his throat. "Yes because his moped has been stolen." Chandler said. "Do you happen to have a spare key to Kent's flat?"
Kent froze. He knew all too well that Laura did have a key, she often left him dinners. But he prayed that she wouldn't give it to Chandler.
"Yeah I have, but why should I give it to yer?"
"Because I'm worried about Emerson. And I don't want him to do anything stupid." Chandler said his voice suddenly soft.
Kent flinched back from the door as if it had burned him and looked helplessly at the door. There was no chain and he couldn't keep the key in the lock. Chandler was going to get in.
He ran into the bathroom and looked the door. He held his hands to the back of his head, his mind racing. And that's when he saw it. His razor. He grabbed it, his hands shaking. Closing his eyes, he claimed his breathing and heard his front door open and shut.
He pressed the razor blade into his skin on his arm and pushed it deep into his skin, crying out in pain as he did.
Chandler heard a scream come from behind him and froze for a moment. Then his legs moved and he ran to the closed door where the scream came from. He tried the door handle. Locked. "Emerson! Emerson its chandler. Are you alright? Emerson!" he shouted as he heard another scream although it was much softer now.
He could feel his heart pounding as instinct kicked in. he ran at the door, wincing loudly. But the door didn't budge. Again, nothing. The third time it creaked. Once more, he thought, once more.
The door burst open and he stumbled back in shock. "Mrs Collins! Phone an ambulance!" he screamed.
When he saw blood, he always felt sick, always felt his OCD creeping up, but now, that was brushed aside as tears formed in his eyes as he stared down at the body of Emerson Kent, a razor blade held loosely in his hand, his head resting against the shower cubical, his eyes staring blankly at him.
Blood, there was blood everywhere.
But he rushed over to Kent and held him, he didn't care about the blood that was seeping into his suit, he didn't care that he was crouching in his DC's blood; he only wanted Kent to be alright.
He moved his hand from Kent's arm to his neck and checked for a pulse. He let a sob out in relief when he found one and pulled Kent into his arms.
His eyes left Kent's as he reached for a towel and bound them around the deep cuts on the DC's lower arms. "You're going to be alright Emerson. You're going to be okay I promise you." Chandler said, gently resting his chin in Kent's damp curls.
"Sir…" he heard Kent say and he struggled to sit up.
Chandler gripped him tighter. "It's alright Emerson and I understand I really do. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
"I'm sorry sir."
Chandler screwed his eyes shut and guilt washed over him. If only he had found Kent sooner, if only he had stopped him from running off. "It's alright Emerson. I won't leave you."
He heard rapid footsteps and talking. Chandler raised his head as three ambulance men made their way into the room. "I'm sorry sir, but you'll have to leave." The tallest said.
Chandler nodded and looked down once again at Kent who now had his eyes shut. "I won't leave you Emerson." He whispered.
Very gently, he let Kent go, stood up and walked out of the room. "His name is Emerson Kent. He's police. Look after him." Chandler said to the ambulance men.
"We'll do our best sir." The tallest addressed him again. "Who are you?"
"Di joseph Chandler." He said simply and walked out of the flat, feeling terrible. He stopped on the landing and was met by a crowd of flat neighbours. He spotted Miles at the very back of the group and soon chandler was looking at him.
"Downstairs. Now." miles said and he was gently pushed down the stairs.
Chandler could feel the blood drying on him, but he didn't feel like he had to rip his skin off, he didn't feel overcome with disgust like he normally did. He could feel tears running down his face gently.
"I couldn't help him Miles. I couldn't help him." Chandler breathed out as they reached the ground floor. Chandler was hit by a wave of dizziness that made him put his hands against a wall to steady himself. "I can't lose him."
He felt his knees give way and he was soon crouched on the floor, cradling his face in his bloodied hands. "Boss, we really should go." Miles said after a few moments.
"How can I leave him?" was his reply, his eyes were stinging. Never had he been this overwhelmed, not even when Morgan Lamb died, he felt a physical pain for Emerson unlike the pain he felt for Morgan.
"We need to get you cleaned up and then we'll go to the hospital. You know Kent, he's a strong boy." Miles said softly and offered him his hands.
Unlike the Kray investigation, he took his hand and heaved himself to his feet, trying his best to calm himself, but still the tears fell and his heart broke.
He allowed himself to be pushed over to his car and put in the passenger seat whilst Miles took the driver's seat; he had obviously walked round from the station.
All Joe could see was blood and Kent. Oh Kent. What had he done? Fresh tears fell as he tried to get the image out of his head. He would not leave his bedside, he wouldn't leave Emerson.
Meg Riley looked up in shock as Chandler and Miles walked into the incident room. She stumbled to her feet and tried to speak. "Oh my God, what's happened?!" she said, a hand flying to her chest.
Stood in front of her was her DI, his suit blood soaked, although he was trying his best to keep it covered up by a long blanket. "We found Kent." Chandler said his voice strained and thick, she noticed his face was stiff and his eyes were red and bloodshot.
"Is he alright sir?" Mansell asked, suddenly appearing next to her.
Chandler shook his head. "He's in hospital. He…he tired…" the DI's voice was breaking and he looked down at his feet.
But Riley got the gist of what he was trying to say and backed up against a desk to steady herself. "Are you hurt sir?" she asked softly, surprised that she could speak cause it felt like her throat was closing up.
"Not physically." Chandler said she could see him shaking under the blanket.
"Come on boss, we need to get you cleaned up." Miles said, gently pushing Chandler towards the doors of the incident room again. She saw that he was gripping a bag, properly with fresh clothes in it she thought.
She watched them go and held a hand to her mouth as tears fell from her screwed up eyes.
"Hey, Kent will be alright Meg." She heard Mansell say and felt a hand on her arm.
"What if he's not though?" she said, wiping her eyes and letting out a ragged breath.
Suddenly she felt Mansell put his arms around her and drew her close. She held onto him tightly and sobbed. She had always liked Kent; he was the first one to accept her when she first came to the team, the first one to introduce himself properly. Yes, she did sometimes treat Kent with more affection, mainly because he was like a son to her. And now, she felt her heart breaking at the thought of Kent in hospital and judging by the state of Chandler's suit, he was not in a good way.
She pulled back from Mansell and saw that he too had tears running down his face. She laughed half-heartedly and reached behind her for the box of tissues on her desk. She pulled one out and offed the box to Mansell who also took one. "I thought you and Emerson had only just started to get along again." She said.
Mansell took a step back and wiped his eyes. "After everything with Erica, I thought that it would be best to patch things up. And that's what we have been doing. I respect Kent; I like him, even though I don't show it. He's a good lad."
"You Finley are a big softie at heart aren't you?" she said and smiled weakly. "Thank you though."
Mansell stared at her. "What for?" he asked.
"Just being here. We'll have to pull together to get through this and we all have to been there for Kent." She said, throwing her tissue in the bin.
"Don't worry about it." Mansell said and paused. "Do you want to go and see him after work?"
Meg swallowed the lump in her throat. "Yes. Thank you."
Mansell smiled weakly at her, his eyes still glistened with tears. "Coffee?"
She nodded and reached for another tissue as tears stared falling again. She took a deep breath and sat down at her desk, holding her head in her hands. Emerson had to be alright. He had to be. The team would never be the same without the young lad, no matter how young and quite he was, Emerson always knew how to cheer everyone up. And her hart might as well break completely if he died.
Chandler gripped the procaine basin in the men's rest room and stared down into it. He could hear Miles breathing behind him. Taking a deep breath, he turned to see tears running down Miles' face slowly. "Miles I'm sorry." He said.
He stepped forward and picked the bag up off the ground. "It's not your fault, it's no one's fault. We never knew Kent was going to do something like this." He said, wiping the tears away with the back of his hand. He sniffed and cleared his throat. "You're not itching to get changed."
Chandler looked down at his suit. Normally he would have retched and tore the soiled suit off him and had a really good wash, but here he stood, a good half an hour since he stood in his DC's blood, cradling him. "I don't know why I'm not." He said.
"Maybe because it isn't a stranger's blood, but we need to get you decent boss. I'll head back to the incident room whilst you get a shower and cleaned up. Everything you need is in there." Miles gestured to the bag he was holding. "I've started to keep it in the boot just in case."
Chandler breathed out a laugh and took the bag off him. "Kent always has a spare suit for me. He puts it in my bottom drawer." He said his voice wobbling.
"He will be alright boss. As soon as you're clean, I'm calling it a day and we'll go over to the hospital. If there is a call then we'll come back."
Chandler nodded, glad that he was being looked after. His mind was spinning and he really couldn't think straight. "Thank you Ray." He whispered.
"I'm always here Joe." Miles said and squeezed his arm gently. "I'll be in the office. I gotta check is Riley is alright."
He nodded silently and watched him leave. He then turned to the mirror and let out a ragged breath. He stripped quickly and threw his soiled clothes in the extra bag Miles had left. He then turned the shower on and stepped inside. The hot water hit his skin and he shivered. He looked down and watched the red water run down the drain and shut his eyes.
Finally, he felt clean once more and stepped out of the shower and dressed in the suit that Miles had left him. Staring back into the mirror, he felt strange without the dried blood on him, after all that was Kent's own blood. He pushed that thought out of his mind, made sure he picked everything up and walked out of the locker room and back to the office.
He opened the door and threw the bag of his soiled clothes in the bin. Miles came up to him. "You look cleaner." He said and passed him a coffee.
"thanks." He mumbled and took a drink of coffee, imminently feeling his energy levels boost up.
"I've spoken to Commander Anderson and he's agreed to give us the rest of the day off, but if anything comes through we have to come back."
"okay." He said and walked over to Riley who was staring into space, twisting a pen round in her hands. "Meg?" he said gently and pulled a chair up next to her desk.
She looked at him with dull and red rimmed eyes. "You okay sir?" she asked.
"We can drop the sir bit at a time like this." He told her softly, reaching out and covering her hand with her own. She nodded and took his hand. "I think we're feeling the same aren't we?"
Tears started to run down her face again. "Yes. I just want to know if he's alright." She whispered.
He swallowed. "We've been given the rest of the day off, but we'll have to come back in if there's a case, so I suggest you drink the rest of your coffee and we'll all go over." He said surprised how calm he was, for inside he was sobbing.
Meg nodded again and Chandler said no more, just sat there drinking the rest of his coffee and holding onto her hand tightly.
Something had changed he thought. He never held people's hands, ever. His OCD wasn't affecting him like it normally did. Relief spread through him but was soon replace with worry and concern for his favourite DC. He needed to see him, he need to know what he was alright.
Soon though, they all finished their coffee and were making their way out of the station, all of them going in their separate cars because they might want to leave. Although Chandler wasn't happy about this, he knew it was right. The team could go if they wanted to. But he knew that he would stay there until he got kicked out. He sighed heavily and blinked back the tears as he started his car and made his way to the hospital.
That was when he started to think back over the years, started to think back and realised that he loved Kent and that the young DC loved him. Why hadn't he noticed his feelings before? Now perhaps it was too late to tell Emerson that he loved him.
He let out a sob when they reached the hospital but was soon out of the car, waited for the others and together, they made their way inside.
Kent woke up slowly, his head aching. He blinked several times and took in his surroundings. The last thing he could remember was DI Chandler holding him in his bathroom back at the flat.
Then it hit him. How could he be so foolish?
Suddenly he felt a hand cover his own and turned his head. He breathed out a sob as he locked eyes with DI Chandler. "Sir."
He watched Chandler sigh in relief and drop his head a little. "Emerson. I'm so relieved to see you awake." He said, clutching his hand tighter.
Kent screwed his eyes up and tried to pull himself up into a sitting position, he cried out as he caught his arm on the bed and whimpered as he felt Chandler's hands support him.
"It's alright Emerson." He heard Chandler mumble in his ear.
He caught his breath and opened his eyes to see Chandler sitting on the bed next to him with his arms round him; Kent could feel his DI's heartbeat and felt the warmth of his body on his own.
His DI gently released him and got him into an upright position. "Alright now?" he moved away gently, sitting back on the chair next to the bed, but was sat on the very edge of it.
He nodded, his emotions running away with him. Chandler was acting so differently. He was calling him by his first name, he was touching him, and he was showing real concern. Something was wrong. "How long have you been here sir?" he had noticed it was only the two of them in the room.
But chandler just smiled at him. "Everyone was here but there is a new case so they went back to the station."
"Why didn't you go?" Kent asked. He didn't want his question to sound selfish so he quickly lowered his head.
"I wasn't going to leave you Emerson. I wanted to be here when you woke up."
Kent jerked his head up in surprise. "Wha-what?"
Chandler inched forward towards him, taking his hand once more and holding it tight in his own. "I swore I wouldn't leave you. I feel responsible for what happened. I shouldn't have let you run off. You needed help and I couldn't give it to you."
"Sir…this is not your fault, this is mine and mine alone." He said.
Chandler lowered his head and sighed. "I only want to help you Emerson. Why can't you let me?" he whispered.
Kent screwed his eyes up as he felt a wave of emotion hit him. Never had Chandler behaved like this towards him, not even when he got slashed by the Kray twins.
He stayed silent; he would have said something he would have regretted. He heard Chandler get up from his seat and sit on the bed again. He felt chandlers arms go round him again, but it was a tighter embrace than before. He let a sob out and buried his head in the DI's chest, his mind in overdrive.
"You don't have to go through this alone Emerson. Please. Let me help you." Chandler mumbled.
Kent took ragged breaths to stop himself sobbing and felt chandler kiss the top of his head gently. He raised his head, shocked by the contact. Their faces were inches apart from each other's. Kent could feel chandler's warm breath on his face.
"I'm sorry." Kent whispered.
Chandlers face inched closer, until Kent felt the older man's lips on his own. He was shocked. His mind went dead for a moment.
It was a dry, timid kiss but eventually Kent felt chandler starting to pull away when he finally responded and pulled him closer.
It was still a timid kiss, but it was urgent. They both pulled back at the same time, both gasping for breath.
Kent locked his eyes with chandler's wild blue eyes; the realisation of what just happened hit his face. His checks flushed red and he rose to his feet, dropping Kent out of his arms. "Er...i-i…" chandler stammered.
But Kent understood. The kiss was too much for him. He nodded sadly. Chandler wavered at this, but left, grabbing his coat.
Kent leant back against the pillows and cried. Yes, he had finally kissed chandler, but at what cost? The look of embracement and disgust on his face tore his heart in two.
But slowly, Kent closed his wet eyes and drifted off to a painful sleep. He doubted chandler would come back. Their relationship had been shattered now. This time, it wasn't his fault thought, all the glances, the brushed of skin, the smiled, the words spoken between them, it was all on him, but chandler had been the one to move forward. It was chandler who kissed him.
He smiled; he could almost feel the DI's lips on his own. But everything was in jeopardy now.
He knew something though; he knew that he had fallen completely for DI Chandler.
Things would look clearer once he had had some sleep he thought. Things would make more sense.