Disclaimers: Oh where, oh where is the disclaimer? Oh where, oh where is the disclaimer? Oh where, oh where is that blasted disclaimer? Where could that *beep*ing disclaimer be? ::looks around:: Hey I tried. But since you're all smart, I'm sure you can figure out what goes here. ^_~

Author's Notes: Hey, I actually finished ANOTHER fic in less than 48 hours! And this time it ended up being the fic I WANTED to write too! ^.^ Me very happy. Um, this is yet another attempt at humor (note the word "attempt"), but it was really fun to write!! I've had this idea for a while now 'cause I always wondered what would happen if Kagome went around offering everyone a kiss (I know, strange thoughts), and this is what came out of it! Please let me know if I should stop trying to write humor (I've been told I don't have much of it in supply... ~_~), or if this came out half as cute as it seemed in my head! Arigatou!!


"One kiss, or two?"
By Jadet
Copyright 02'


She was late-again!

Inu Yasha grumbled to himself as he crouched on top of Kaede's roof, pouting as he looked at the sunset. That wench had told him that she would be back before sunset. Was she? Noooo! Knowing her she was probably doing one of her 'tests'! Inu Yasha pouted more, flattening his ears against his head. She seemed to like these tests more than she liked him!

Inu Yasha suddenly harrumphed, and kicked idly at one of the roof tiles. What did he care? The wench could take all the 'tests' she wanted as long as she found him his Shikon jewel! A nagging feeling of guilt followed the thought, but he sulkily pushed it aside. He wasn't the one leaving her every few days to take these 'tests'!

The breeze changed, and Inu Yasha finally detected Kagome's presence. Ignoring how his heart sped up, Inu Yasha stayed where he was, now gleefully thinking about all the things he was going to yell at her for. That would show her not to leave again! Her figure appeared on the trail a few seconds later, her usual large backpack over one shoulder. As he watched, she swayed slightly to the side, but straightened with an effort, only to lean to the other side. Inu Yasha sighed and leapt down from his spot. He probably should help her, the stupid woman.

Kagome smiled as soon as she saw him, and gratefully dropped the fifty pound bag on the ground.

"Sorry I'm late, Inu Yasha. I ran to the store to get a few things that we needed before I came."

"Keh!" Inu Yasha flipped his head to the side as he picked up the bag with ease. "You shouldn't bring so much stuff!"

Kagome laughed and fell in step beside him. "I know, but I always see something that I think we'd need." She looked at him out of the corner of her eye, a mysterious smile on her face. When Inu Yasha looked back at her with a scowl, she turned her eyes back to the trail but kept smiling. "Inu Yasha?"


She reached into her pocket and brought something out. "Would you like a kiss?"


Kaede rubbed more ointment into the cut on Inu Yasha's forehead, ignoring the dramatic flinch he gave. "There, all done," she said, putting the ointment away.

Inu Yasha scowled and moved away from Kaede, trying to look anywhere but at the girl glaring at him from across the room.

"I can't believe you dropped my bag like that!" Kagome accused and Inu Yasha's ear twitched. She reached into her pocket and pulled out something small. "All I did was ask you if you wanted some candy!"

He swung around, pointing an accusing finger at her. "No! You said 'do you want a kiss?'!"

Kagome frowned. "No I didn't. I asked if you wanted to try a piece of this candy! Didn't I give you one of these last time I brought them?"

Inu Yasha shook his head violently, then winced as the movement jarred his already sensitive head. When she had said that... that WORD earlier, he had literally fallen flat on his face. It just figured that there had to have been a rock right where his head kissed the dirt.

Shippou smirked from where he was nestled comfortably in Kagome's lap, licking a new lollipop she had brought him. When Inu Yasha noticed the smirk and turned his furious glare on him, Shippou smiled wider and turned pleading eyes up to Kagome.

"Kagome, can I have a kiss?"

Inu Yasha was pulling Shippou up by his shirt barely a second later, a guttural growl coming from his chest. "Why you little-"

"Inu Yasha!" Kagome yelled, grabbing Shippou out of harms way. When Inu Yasha continued to glare daggers at the little fox cub, she returned the glare full force. "Inu Yasha, sit."

He face planted for the second time that day, and immediately his head started pounding full force. Kagome suddenly realized what she had done and, depositing Shippou a safe distance away, quickly rushed to his side.

"I'm so sorry, Inu Yasha!" She helped him pull his face from the indent he made in the ground, eyes worried and slightly guilty. "I forgot!"

Inu Yasha growled and pushed her arm away. "Stupid wench, what'd you do that for?!"

Thrown off balance, she righted herself and placed her hands on her hips. "You were being mean to Shippou-chan!"

Inu Yasha's mouth fell open, and he worked his jaw several times in mute anger. "Bu-but he asked you for a KISS!!"

Kagome blinked. "It's just candy, remember?"

He closed his mouth with a snap, and turned his back on her sulkily. "Fine, give him one of your stupid," he worked his jaw again. "Kisses then!"

Shaking her head in confusion, Kagome turned back to Shippou (who had been watching the whole time with silent mirth) and handed him one of her chocolate kisses. "There you go Shippou-chan."

Shippou popped the candy in his mouth, grinning. When Inu Yasha looked at him out of the corner of his eye, Shippou moaned and made general sounds of extreme pleasure.

"Arigatou Kagome! Your kisses are the best!"

Inu Yasha suddenly stood up and walked huffily out the door. Kagome followed him with her eyes, a questioning look on her face. She turned to Shippou. "What's wrong with him?"

"Dunno," Shippou said with a laughing smile.


Kagome found Inu Yasha pouting by the stream 30 minutes later. He had been throwing random rocks into it, and when he heard her behind him, sniffed and threw a rock a little harder than normal at the water. It bounced across, flew towards a tree, and imbedded itself in the bark.

Kagome blinked at the hole in the tree as she settled down next to him. "Nice throw."


Stretching a little, Inu Yasha turned his head to look at her, a pout still on his face. When she looked inquisitively at him, he turned his head away in a huff.

"Inu Yasha, are you mad at me?"

"No," he mumbled, throwing another rock at the water. This one didn't fly as far, but stopped at the foot of tree.

"Oh." Kagome wrapped her arms around her knees. "Why are you out here then?"

Inu Yasha flattened his ears and threw another rock. This one imbedded itself into the tree too. "Just 'cause."


After throwing a few more rocks, which all ended up inside the tree's bark one way or another, Inu Yasha crossed his arms over his chest.

"So did you give any of you 'kisses' to Miroku?" He grumbled, not looking at her. Kagome turned to stare at him, but he gave no indication of what he was thinking.

"Yes. He asked for two." Inu Yasha's ears twitched a little, but Kagome didn't notice. "Oh, and you missed Kouga-kun. He said he was looking for you so that you two could 'finish the score,' but I gave him a few kisses instead so that he would leave you alone." She paused, her brow furrowed. "He seemed quite happy with them," Kagome said, honest confusion in her voice as to why he would enjoy candy that much.

Inu Yasha by this time had acquired a rather nasty tick in his cheek, and both ears were pressed firmly to his head.

Kagome finally noticed how stiff Inu Yasha was, and touched his arm worriedly. "Daijoubu?"

"Fine," Inu Yasha ground out. He stood abruptly. Kagome followed him up with a hurt look on her face.

"Inu Yasha, what-?"

"Do you have any more?" He interrupted, swinging both of his strangely glowing golden eyes to bear on her.

Kagome blinked. "Any more of what?"

"Those 'kisses' you spoke of."

Kagome widened her eyes. "Oh." She felt inside her pocket and pulled out a golden wrapped kiss. "Yes, do you want it?"

He nodded, looking like he had trouble swallowing. She handed it to him mutely, and he looked at it like it was a snake about to bite him. His eyes hardened however, and he moved to pop it into his mouth.

"No!" Kagome lunged forward and grabbed his hand before he put it into his mouth.

Inu Yasha growled ferally, hurt evident in his eyes. "What? You don't want me to eat one of your kisses?!"

Kagome shook her head. "No, that's not it." She gently took the candy from him and unwrapped it from its foil. "I just didn't want you to eat it with the wrapper on."

Inu Yasha deflated. "Oh." He looked at the newly returned candy, which ended up being dark brown in color. Still looking as though it would kill him, he hesitantly put it in his mouth and chewed. His entire mood changed, and he looked at Kagome in amazement.

"Hey, this is good!"

Kagome smiled, pleased. "It's chocolate." She paused. "I had wondered if it would hurt you since we aren't supposed to give it to dogs at home, but I guess your human half took it just fine."

Inu Yasha didn't understand what she meant, but nodded anyway. "Do you have anymore?" He asked eagerly.

"Um," she felt inside her pocket and produced two more brightly covered chocolates. "Here. Do you want one or two?"

"Two kisses!" Inu Yasha said excitedly, drooling at the sight of the chocolate. Kagome looked down at the chocolates for a second, before lifting her head back up with a blush. She handed him one of them, keeping the other tight in her fist. Inu Yasha blinked. "What about the second one?"

"Eat that one first," she whispered, her throat croaky. He blinked again but eagerly took the wrapping off the candy and popped it into his mouth. After a few blissful seconds of its chocolately goodness, he turned back to her with an even greater excitement on his face.

"Okay, I'm done! Can I have the other one now?"

Kagome blushed a deep red, and glanced both ways before looking back up at him. She stepped forward to where the where almost touching, and with Inu Yasha looking very confused, leaned up and pecked him softly on the lips, before turning and walking away with hurried steps.

Inu Yasha stood stock still where she had left him, staring at her retreating back with something akin to absolute shock on his face. When five minutes had passed, and he could no longer see her, he finally snapped out of his trance. He reached up a trembling hand to his lips, bemused, before looking back at the trail. Sudden comprehension dawned on him like a lightning bolt.

"She kissed me...."

More comprehension dawned on him, but this time he yelled it.

"Hey! What about my other kiss!?" And with that, Inu Yasha bounded after Kagome, intent on asking that very question.


Hehehehe, that was fun!! Poor Inu Yasha, having to go through all that mental turmoil... ;P Now everyone, see that little blue button down there on your left? No, your other left. Yes, that one. Press it. And see that little screen that comes up? Write a review in it. Good little Inu-fans!! ^_~ Thanks minna-san for reading!

PS: Oh, and everyone that commented on my "crowing like a duck" line in my last fic... ::sweat drop:: I can't believe you caught that! Sheesh, I'm going to have to be careful what I let slip in here from now on... ^_~