Takes place directly after Perfection.
Erica didn't expect Tracey to be standing outside her apartment when she returned from work at eleven thirty at night. She had done an eight o'clock show and was finally able to get out around eleven and skipped going out to the bar. She was exhausted and she didn't hold any excitement seeing her sister standing there looking at her with an impatient expression, tapping her foot on the carpet. Wordlessly, the redhead unlocked the door and let Tracey inside. She wasn't particularly happy about this and she should have predicted someone else would show up here when Trevor had shown up unannounced not too long ago. She didn't expect it to be Tracey, though; her money would have been on Michael.
Wordlessly, Tracey stood inside the apartment and Erica shut the door behind them. She offered Tracey a drink and she wasn't surprised when the blonde requested alcohol and Erica had to give her the disappointing answer that she didn't have any at the moment. Tracey just simply went with water and had to deal with her nerves without getting a buzz, Erica decided.
Being a good host, Erica served the water after she threw her dance bag on the floor. Other than that, everything else in the apartment was spotless. She never wanted to live in filth like she had back when she lived with her biological mother in North Yankton. She was pretty proud of her apartment and thought it was kept in perfect shape. "What brings you here?" Erica finally asked as she took a seat. Tracey took a sip of water first then rested it on the coffee table.
"Trevor said he came to visit, so I thought it was time I did, too," she replied curtly. Erica frowned and noticed the look of disgust on Tracey's face when she looked up and down Erica's body. She was suddenly a little bit self-conscious and she wished her shorts weren't so short and her shirt wasn't so tight.
"Neither of you warned me," Erica said as she released her hair from its ponytail. She ran a hand through it to help shake it out since it had been tied back since eight in the morning.
"I would have called, but you never answer." Erica didn't fight that statement because it was true. She didn't pick up the phone for her family anymore for obvious reasons: they were dysfunctional, some criminals, one into porn, and tended to put her on this pedestal she didn't belong on. The latter being the main cause of this, Erica felt the expectations of her were held too high and she hated being the perfect daughter. "Mom pretends to be happy all the time, but she misses you a lot," Tracey pointed out. "She cries sometimes and then makes excuses why you don't talk to us."
"Is that why you came all the way here? I already heard it all from Trevor when he decided to stop by at three in the morning," Erica replied and crossed one leg over the other.
"I actually want to know what happened when Trevor came over," Tracey said and got right down to the point. Erica wished Tracey could be just a little bit more nervous and be afraid to ask her what had happened. The younger woman sighed.
"I think I'm going to get more comfortable and put on my pajamas. The guest room's down the hall," Erica pointed before she stood up and rushed out of the room. She heard Tracey tell her they were going to discuss this tonight, so she better hurry up. Erica bit her lower lip and she knew she couldn't escape from this.
The night Trevor showed up had been incredibly awkward. She knew he had a tendency to break down and be unable to take care of himself at times, but she hadn't expected him to drop to his knees, bury his head in her stomach, and just start wailing as if he was a lost child, but was then found again. She was lucky nobody slept over that night when he showed because how could she explain this man who looked and smelled as if he hadn't bathed for days and crying like a small child would?
Trevor cried and told Erica to go back home even though she was already home. She knew what he meant and tried to shush him, kind of like how Amanda would when Erica was upset back when she was a kid. She eventually got him into the bathtub after taking off his dirty clothes and filling up the tub with water. She left him in there briefly to go put his clothes in the wash on the longest cycle.
Upon returning to the bathroom, he was crying and said not to leave him again. Erica sat on the edge of the tub and promised him she never left him. She grabbed soap and a washcloth and began to scrub off the dirt and grime off of him. She did this in soothing circles which began to calm him down as she sang to him in a soft voice.
And then he grunted and thrusted his hips forward in pleasure, making a mess on his stomach. Eyes going wide, Trevor began to apologize profusely and cursed at himself for his reaction which had most likely been involuntary. Erica had told him it was okay, drained the dirty bath water, and refilled the tub again. It seemed as if Trevor was beyond mentally instable and she began to blame herself for it just a little bit. After all, in his mind, she abandoned him to live another life.
After she washed his hair and dried him off, Erica wrapped him in a fresh white towel and led him over to the guest bedroom. She pulled the comforter down, fluffed the pillows, and encouraged him to lay down. He did.
Erica left the room to go switch the wash and put his clothes in the dryer. She wondered why he hadn't traveled with anything, but then again, this was Trevor and it wasn't like he changed his clothes daily anyway. Erica went into the kitchen because she figured Trevor hadn't eaten anything in a while and microwaved some leftover Chinese food she had. She recalled grabbing some water before going back into the guest bedroom where she literally fed Trevor and gave him water through a straw because he just looked so helpless.
When he finished eating, Erica slipped into bed beside him and he rested his head on her breast and his other hand which traveled to her other breast. She allowed it and she knew it was so wrong and she should get him to stop because he wasn't in his right mind whether or not he was high. Erica couldn't bring herself to get him to stop. And then his hand trailed down as he whimpered in her ear and repeatedly said I love you.
She didn't want to remember more. But she didn't mind remembering waking up, leaving for work without waking him, and came home to an empty apartment.
When Erica left her bedroom, she rushed over to Tracey who was waiting for her patiently in the living room. Erica told her sister everything that had transpired. She hadn't cried the day Trevor was there, but she cried her eyes out when she told Tracey everything that happened. She felt even more disgusting when she told her older sister and even though it didn't bother her all that much, it suddenly did because hearing it and speaking it made it disgusting. The silence and the look of disappointment on Tracey's face were painful. "I can't believe you and him…" Tracey finally spoke. "He wasn't your first, was he?" Tracey usually spoke loudly, but this was one of the few times she spoke quietly.
"No," Erica shook her head. "High school, I was fifteen or sixteen I think." For some reason, the exact moment of her first time was a blur and she knew this wasn't normal because she had a feeling every girl could name the exact day and time.
"I don't remember my first time that well, either," Tracey confessed. "But that's not important right now." She put a hand on Erica's knee for comfort. Tracey was never really good at these things and that was probably why she told everything to her. Erica knew Tracey wouldn't make such a huge deal out of it, or as big of a deal as Amanda or anyone else would make this. Trevor was practically family and he knew Erica when she was nine years old which made this entire situation pretty much taboo. The press would have a field day if they found out about this and she hoped Tracey, despite her obvious jealousy of her fame, would keep her mouth shut. "Did he force you to do anything?"
"No," Erica shook her head. "He'd never force me to do anything."
"Did you want him to…" Tracey trailed.
"So then he raped you."
"No!" Erica exclaimed and stood up in protest. "Trevor wouldn't do anything I didn't want him to do."
"But you just said you didn't want it," Tracey reminded her. "Look, I've been in this situation before with older men a lot. When you're young, you don't really know what to do in a situation like that. He should have known better than to touch you. You froze up and just let it happen even though we both know you really didn't want to do anything like that with him. Erica, you were relieved to come home to an empty apartment."
"He didn't rape me," Erica said.
"Okay," Tracey said even though she didn't agree with her. "It was just a super fucked up experience."
"Right. And it's not like I'm all that innocent. I've been around the block a few times," Erica sat back down beside the older woman.
"Yeah. I don't have time for any meaningful relationships."
"Erica, the men who don't want a meaningful relationship are disgusting. I speak from a lot of experience." It almost sounded as if Tracey was bragging. However, why would it be okay for Tracey to do these things and not her? After all, Erica was an adult and she could take care of herself and she had been doing it pretty well.
"Stop putting me on this pedestal," Erica murmured. "I'm no better than you are. I'm just me, Tracey. I'm flawed just like everyone else. To tell you the truth, Trevor's not the first older guy I've been with. I've probably slept with someone's husband and didn't even know it. I've had one night stands where to me, nothing else was going to happen, but the guys sometimes find me and beg for some kind of relationship I don't even want. And…and it's not only men I sleep with. Sometimes it's a girl, usually from work, because we're all just so stressed and sometimes don't get a day off for weeks, and, well…" It wasn't like Erica went out and hooked up with random people. She'd usually meet them online and go out a couple of times if she didn't know them already. In that aspect, she was nothing like Tracey.
"Calm down," Tracey interjected. "I didn't even think you were like this," the blonde hugged her distraught sister. Erica melted into the embrace and remembered a time where things were simpler and she was just a little kid without any major responsibilities. Well, she'd skip like the first nine years of her life where she lived with her mother who didn't take care of her. Erica would happily go back to the days where she'd go out in the morning and get the paper with Michael on the weekend or when she'd help Amanda in the kitchen and make apple pies. She'd even go back to the times where she'd play video games with Jimmy and she'd go out and get her nails done with Tracey. Those were good times.
"See, Tracey? I'm not perfect. That's why I can't go back to Los Santos because everyone thinks I am perfect. I'm just a big ball of disappointment. I also pretty much slept with our uncle, so that happened, too."
"Our whole family is fucked up!" Tracey shouted and Erica was glad she had enough money to live in a high end apartment so she didn't have to worry about being too loud. Tracey stood up and threw her hands in the air in frustration. "I'm the family slut, only second to mom back in her prime, dad still goes around doing God knows what, Jimmy is on so much medication to function normally, and well, don't even get me started with Trevor!"
"And yet you came here thinking I was so perfect!" Erica stood up to face Tracey. "I'm just as fucked up as the rest of you. How was I supposed to feel when all of you are always talking about how great and perfect I am and how I'm the fucking family success!"
"I think you thought you were the embodiment of perfection until you slept with Uncle Trevor. Am I right?"
Tracey was right.
But Erica wasn't going to say it.
"I know I'm not perfect. I'm not even close to it. But I pretend that I am because…it makes me feel less like garbage." This was probably one of the few times Tracey would ever admit to this and the blonde began to cry. Erica threw her arms around her and just held Tracey while she held Erica because both of them needed comfort. However, Erica wasn't sure Tracey could give the comfort she needed and Erica didn't think she could give the comfort Tracey needed. They both sat back down on the couch clinging to one another.
"I can't go back to Los Santos," Erica whispered.
"I know," Tracey replied quietly.
"I can't face them."
"You don't have to. But if you decide to, I'll help you."
"Thanks," Erica smiled and finally didn't feel so isolated within her family. Because, in the end, she'd never be perfect even though she wanted to be. She would have been okay until she fell off her pedestal that night and broke, just like a delicate china doll and couldn't be fixed.
Yes, this one is messed up, but everyone in this family is and Erica isn't immune to it. I don't expect people to like this chapter at all, but for some reason in my head, I always thought of this happening between Erica and Trevor one day due to Trevor's clingy personality and how he viewed Erica as a caretaker since she used to go and care for him back when she was younger- almost like a mother. And we know Trevor is attracted to motherly characters (like Patricia).
Feel free to leave a review- I'd really like to hear your thoughts on this chapter!