There's Always A Snake

The Capsule Corp ATV tore through the streets of Konoha with great speed, the baby strapped close and nestled to Goku's chest laughing lightly as he blazed through the village that was falling apart. His eyes were constantly surveying the area for a potential threat, since he wasn't exactly in the best position to fight anyone while he had a baby in tow and an unconscious jounin. All of the fighting seemed to be close to the center of the village anyway, while everyone else he saw was evacuating like him.

The ride was rough and his vehicle was constantly losing balance with every earth shaking explosion or clash echoing throughout the village. The boy sped up a hill and went flying through the sky, smiling from cheek to cheek as his body filled with adrenaline. When the ATV crashed against the ground and continued on its path out of the village, it was suddenly speedier than usual. Goku shrugged it off and continued to ride up hills and do the same thing, he and the baby flying through the air with a smile on their faces.

Off in the distance he could start to see green, the tree-lined outskirts of Konohagakure that he was aiming for were fast approaching. He revved the engine and sped up even more so he could make a clean escape.

There was a small barricade that had been destroyed earlier that separated Konoha from the outside world. He skid to a stop and turned his ATV to the side, contemplating going straight out into the open, since there could be a multitude of invaders waiting to capture him. He didn't have K to support him either, and he doubted his new baby friend would offer much help.

Other civilians that didn't follow the usual evacuation plan were rushing past him and getting as far away from Konohagakure as possible.

A loud 'thud' dropping to the ground made Goku swivel to alert behind him and his eyes widened once he realized that it was the unconscious body of K lying there in a heap, nearly getting trampled on by wild civilians. He looked up to see a giant metal bird flapping its wings, and perched on top of it was a woman in a skin-tight black bodysuit. She ran a hand through her blond hair and smirked, "You forgot something!" She alerted the boy, "You forgot a lot actually!"

Goku raised a brow, and he noticed behind her there were a group of people, "BULMA! CHI-CHI! MAO! MASTER ROSHI!" He jumped off of the ATV and ran toward K first, but had a bright smile when he saw his fellow Kumogakure natives. The saiyan dragged K back onto the ATV slowly.

"You've got your asshole sensei back, and your friends," Tights nodded and turned to face her younger sister and her companions. "I wish I could stay, Bulma-chan," The woman was quick to embrace the teenage girl.

It had been a turbulent few months but she now understood the nature of Tights' work, and nestled her head against her older sister's chest; fighting back tears as she did so. "Be safe, please be safe! You're all I have left," she sobbed into her sibling's top deeply, and got a reassuring hand on top of her head.

"No I'm not, look at everyone you have around you, Bulma-chan," Tights smiled. "I'll be safe regardless, and I'll be back to visit you soon."

Bulma stepped away from her and wiped away tears, suddenly being embraced by Chi-Chi and Mao. The teenage girl smiled and nodded, before they were all abruptly dumped off of the metal bird, Tights included.

They all groaned, and Tights screamed when she felt a hand grab her butt; springing up and pointing an accusing finger at a bloody nosed Master Roshi who was satisfied, and ready to accept whatever consequence came next. She stomped the heel of her boot into his stomach and twisted, "HMPH!" The blond daughter of Doctor Briefs whipped out a device with a single button on it, and was pulled back up onto the metal bird. "Until next time!"

The bird wasted no time flying off, the group of Kumo natives, and the Kumo adoptee watched the bird choppily fly through the air before regaining its bearings and speeding off.

Goku was happy to see so many familiar faces, "Looks like we can head home then!" He shouted with excitement.

"Wait, Son-kun," everyone stared at the obvious thing they needed to address; Chi-Chi being the first to speak up. "Where did you get that baby from?"

Goku's eyebrows raised as if what was going on was normal, "Oh, him?" The saiyan looked down at the baby once more to verify that it was indeed a 'him,' and shrugged. "I found him at the arena, I couldn't leave him."

"Goku, that could be somebody's baby you just stole," Bulma said as she smacked him upside the head and wrestled the green-haired child away from the genin. She rocked it back and forth and it clapped happily, "What should be call him?"

"Happa-chan!" Mao yelled out and there were no disagreements. It was fitting, to say the least.

"Happa-chan it is," Bulma gently rubbed Happa's hair and gestured toward the outside of the village. "We should get going then."

Master Roshi stepped forward to lead the kids from here, "Don't think since we're not the targets that we can let our guards down kids! We need to stay together and move as a unit."

All the genin nodded along with the old man as he gave out a few more points for how to move through a war-like setting, since this was the perfect time to give the wet-behind-the-ears shinobi a valuable lesson. Bulma on the other hand blinked carelessly and waited for him to finish talking to interject, "Not to burst your bubble old man, but we're in a different time." She took off her backpack and began unloading cases of her father's prized capsules. "We can be back in Kumogakure by tomorrow if we play our cards right, remember how we got here."

Master Roshi furrowed his brow, not wanting to take such an obvious route and being so readily visible, but the majority vote always won since the kids eyes all shone over in excitement. The old man sighed, "Alright, alright; we'll do it your way. Under one condition."

"Condition being?" Bulma raised an eyebrow.

Master Roshi leaned forward and whispered something in her ear and immediately got a fist planted in his gut. He keeled over with a hearty laugh, "You'll come around eventually!"

Goku looked between the two with a blank stare, not sure what just transpired, but he was ready to set out. He was the first to hop back on his ATV as Bulma began popping capsules so the rest of them could travel as easily as he could. The boy playfully revved the engine and did a donut while he waited, splattering dirt everywhere without a care in the world.

However his donut came to a cold stop when a capsule popped open and a small round disk began floating in the air. It had a dark green visor on top of with yellow beeping functions beginning to process, "Ooooh, what's that?" Goku asked with his eyes full of glee as he rolled his ATV toward the floating disk.

"My name is Chosa, the super shinobi security system!" The robot mechanically exclaimed.

"Are you related to Shido!?" Goku nearly jumped off of his ATV when it introduced itself almost identically to his old robot friend.

"No, do you think just because I am a shinobi system that we are related!?" Chosa flew into Goku's face and an animated '_' was displayed on his visor.


"HAHA! I kid with you, I am indeed Shido's brother!"

Bulma had a stale face as she watched the interaction, never having been a fan of her father's humor that he programmed into his creations, "Ok Chosa, go scan the area north of here for potential threats and report to us." It gave Bulma a few responsive beeps before taking off at untraceable speeds to scan the area for her. "Chosa has a built in chakra sensor and it'll be able to pick up out of the ordinary signatures that could be potentially dangerous. My father, of course, gave Onoki access to the same technology for warfare but that's an issue for a different day."

The blue haired teen jumped onto her ATV, hers having space in the back, and a sidecar. Master Roshi was about to jump in back of her but she punched him before he could even get on behind her, "You have your own you old pervert. Chi-Chi and Mao, you can ride with me." Bulma pulled out a pair of glasses to shield her eyes as she rode, "When K gains consciousness, he can take over, and Master Roshi can ride in the back of him." She smiled when she saw the old man visibly deflate at the news.

He shuffled over to his ATV and Bulma rode to the forefront, "Ok, guys, let's roll out."

The group revved their engines collectively before taking off into the thick woods that surrounded Konoha. There wasn't as much warfare going on on the outskirts of the hidden village, which led Bulma to believe it should be a safe journey home. As long as they followed her directions, she felt it would be a smooth trip.

They were already making good time, putting a considerable amount of distance between them and the village. However the thing that she expected happened a few hours into their trek, as they were closing in on the border. A hi-tech watch on her wrist began beeping and in a matter of seconds Chosa appeared in front of the group.

"There are multiple OTOGAKURE shinobi in the area ahead," Chosa reported.

Bulma cursed under her breath, knowing they had no business fighting with any shinobi at the moment, since their leader was currently unconscious. She ran a hand across the top of her head, "Contingency route, please." She ordered the bot and it took off in another direction to work around the approaching shinobi. "We'll set up camp for now and get some rest, I know we're all tired, and K needs medical attention."

She turned her ATV around and started leading the group into a clearing that she spotted as they were passing. The girl jumped off of the ATV and reached into her bag.

Goku scratched his chin while Happa was quietly cooing, "Shouldn't we keep moving, those people that Chosa mentioned could be here soon."

"We'll be fine," She shrugged off the notion and whipped out another case of capsules. Bulma threw one on the ground and after the initial puff of smoke, nothing happened. Everyone looked in silent disappointment, but what she did next made their jaw drop as she threw one into the center of the clearing and like clockwork a house appeared with the capsule corp logo on it. "The first capsule is called Hakai, it's the opposite to Mao-chan's technique. While she can constantly scan for familiar chakra signatures, Hakai constantly scrambles ours so we can't be tracked."

Mao was impressed, while the rest were confused, but she didn't go on further from that.

Goku shrugged and jumped off of the ATV with Happa in tow. Bulma was quick to come and confiscate the baby from him as she went to the house, so he turned around and retrieved K; dragging the jounin across the clearing to the house Bulma just summoned.

The entire group was impressed when they got inside, everything was plush and functional, "Where does our poop go?" Was Goku's first question, which disgusted Bulma to the point she didn't answer. He frowned when he got no response.

"Goku follow me upstairs," Bulma motioned as she carried the baby and heard the clunking of K being dragged up the stairs, since she didn't really care for the man it didn't bother her.

There was a large bedroom, she motioned Goku over to it. The boy threw K on the bed haplessly and let out a sigh of relief, "What now?"

"I'll fix him, don't worry about it," Bulma said. "Go eat, get some rest; we'll be moving out again soon."

Goku saluted Bulma as she began to tend to Happa and K and immediately rushed downstairs for the prospect of food. Master Roshi retreated to his own quarters with a magazine, while Chi-Chi and Mao were awaiting his return because when he got down there they tackled him to the ground with a gruesome hug.

"Son-kun you had us so worried!" Chi-Chi said as she followed her hug with a punch, "What were you thinking taking on that thing by yourself?!"

The boy grinned, "I wanted to see how strong it was!" He shrugged off his effort with the two girls and focused on what was important, "Let's eat!"

Goku charged past the two girls and blazed into the kitchen to see what was stocked for the them.

Chi-Chi winced slightly holding her arm all of a sudden as one of her wounds began to throb. She went over to the table in the center of the room and started to undo her bandage to manage the cut wound she got while escaping the arena during the rampage. It was still slowly leaking blood, failing to close like she had hoped, and there were no medical ninja on their team to truly help them out. She groaned quietly, not noticing Mao looking at her in concern. As she was about to get up Mao was already standing over her.

"I may have something that help Chi-Chi," she whispered quietly as she rustled through her pack. "I found this while we were trying to restock weapons on our way out." Mao opened her palm and revealed a small pouch filled to the brim with something.

"What is it?" She asked still clutching at her wound.

Mao opened the pouch and poured it on the table and beans fell onto the table as well as green powder, "I think it's that senzu drug we've been hearing so much about."

"MAO ARE Y-" Mao placed her hand over Chi-Chi's before she could alert everyone in the house. Chi-Chi was now whisper yelling,"Drugs are you serious!?"

"What if it's not all bad, just … abused? A lot of medicine has a true purpose but can be deemed bad because of the bad people who use it. It's supposed to strengthen and heal when taken properly," Mao explained, trying to convince Chi-Chi. "Just take one, I think it will help. It helped me."

"You used it!? You're sympathizing with the aliens now!?" Chi-Chi was almost about to lose her temper and nearly yell.

"But Son-kun is-"

Goku waddled back into the room with a plate full of food, Chi-Chi furrowing her brow scraping one of the beans off of the table and swallowed it quickly. She immediately felt the rush of it but also felt the healing properties. Goku was completely oblivious to the situation, "Aren't you guys hungry?"

They both quietly shook their heads as Mao scraped the remnants off of the table and disappeared into one of the rooms, leaving Chi-Chi and Goku alone to talk amongst themselves.

"You're not hungry?" Goku took a breather after ripping through his plate before he would return to the kitchen to get more.

"Um, no," Chi-Chi's body felt brand new. She was fully healed and fully refreshed; not even being able to eat from how full she felt. As she watched Goku shrug and get up to get more food, something crossed her mind. Especially with her trying new things no thanks to Mao, "Son-kun…."

Goku was stumbling back into the dining room with a noodle loosely hanging from his mouth, he raised a curious brow when his teammate drew out the silence. He sat next to her with his plate of food and awaited for her to continue.

"You're an alien aren't you?"

The saiyan didn't skip a beat in continuing his meal, "Yup," he responded nonchalant as he slurped up another noodle. Chi-Chi's jaw was nearly on the floor when he turned to look at her with a sly grin on his face, "What?" He asked playfully, knowing why she was so shocked. He never openly admitted it but it was the elephant in the room ever since rumors had been spread around Konoha about extra terrestrials being among the shinobi.

She didn't know why, but her first instinct was to smack Goku on the arm, "How could you keep something like that away from us!? You're in real danger, Son-kun." Chi-Chi almost wanted to cry with how frustrated she had become. Since the exams she heard nothing but bad things and rumors about 'aliens' to the point where even her judgement was clouded to a certain degree, but knowing Goku was one of them changed her perception. "There are people targeting you, I don't want to lose you."

Goku smiled at Chi-Chi, "Don't worry."

Chi-Chi expected as much from the head strong genin, letting out a sigh in response. She placed a hand on his cheek and rubbed it gently to express how much she truly cared for the boy. The same energy they felt on the boat during the chunin exam was rekindled as they sat in silence for a moment. Chi-Chi began to lean in, but Goku jumped up immediately.

The silence was cut short by the sound of Happa crying upstairs and Goku bolted up the stairs before they could finish what they started.

Chi-Chi visibly deflated and sighed once more. He wasn't completely oblivious with girls, but he definitely needed some help.

Goku nearly crashed through the door when he heard Happa crying, and the green haired baby was still shedding tears when he arrived. However, it wasn't because of Bulma like he originally thought. He saw that his sensei was sitting up right and simply staring at the baby. It was rumored that his icy glare had made grown men cry, so it served as no surprise that baby Happa couldn't handle K's stoic nature.

The black haired jonin's head slowly turned to face Goku, "Explain."

"Heh heh, long story," Goku scratched his head sheepishly not exactly knowing where to start.

"I have…," K was still in an immense amount of pain, feeling a crick in his neck as he tried to address his student. "Time…" He finished out his sentence, because if anything else he would get an explanation as to how he ended up in bandages, in a house, with a baby in the middle of nowhere, and couldn't sense anything.

"Ok um," Goku tapped his chin, much to the irritation of K as he tried to piece his story together. He took a break from thinking and picked up Happa, instantly getting the baby to stop crying once he came in contact with him. "Apparently, 19 was pregnant. That's why he sprouted a giant tree that nearly killed you and destroyed the arena. He may even be dead himself." The saiyan tickled the green haired baby and got a laugh, "Oh, and Konohagakure is in ruins, but not because of this guy here." He offered Happa toward K to hold.

The man sat completely still, not even blinking. The baby froze in fear, and Goku frowned when his baby peace offering did nothing to move the unusually stoic man. K attempted to move but let out the slightest noise of discomfort that may as well have been a hysteric scream for him. He shut his eyes, feeling everything in that one instant, and then added a feeling of annoyance when Goku asked if he needed help. He decided to tune the boy out.

He powered through and managed to stand up, taking everything in his willpower not to collapse to the ground, "Bathroom."

"Um," Goku continued rocking Happa slowly, trying to think. "Down there somewhere, I actually don't know."

"We're not in Kumogakure?" K asked, furrowing his brow thinking that this a Kumo house he had been in before.

"No, still in Hi No Kuni."

If K were a colorful personality, he would have screamed at Goku, but he was known for being calm and collected, so he kept his cool.

The man took very slow and measured steps forward to the hallway and identified the bathroom. He placed his pained hand on the knob and turned slowly, his ears instantly ringing when a scream filled the air as he entered the bathroom.

Bulma leapt off of the toilet, her pants still around her ankles when K opened the door, but not for the reason anyone thought, "KILL IT!" She looked at K, "KILL IT NOW!"

At first the man didn't see what she was talking about, but when a snake slithered out of the toilet it put him on semi-alert. There were no weapons on his person, so his next instinct was a hand seal, but nothing happened when initiated a jutsu. He was flustered, and his lapse in reaction time nearly got Bulma bitten when the snake jumped out. It took a split second scan of the bathroom, seeing a toothbrush. He managed to grab it, break it in a way for it to be lethal and throw it hard enough for it to pin the snake to the wall of the bathroom by its head.

Bulma dropped to the floor in relief, still having failed to pull up her pants, and turned to look past K; seeing that Master Roshi, the next capable shinobi who was fully loaded with weapons standing there frozen in place with a nosebleed. She slammed her fist against the ground, "Damn it, pervert, GET OUT!" She snapped at Roshi and he came back into reality.

K looked over his shoulder, seeing that everyone was standing outside the door. He shut it hard with the remaining strength he had left, and then turned his attention to the teenager sitting on the floor, "Why can't I use my chakra?" He asked sternly.

"No one can," Bulma admitted, "This area we're in covered by an invention of my father that makes chakra effectively useless, you slept through my initial explanation. No one can get the drop on us this way."

"Really, then where did the snake go?" He pointed at the toothbrush that was now stabbed into the wall where the snake was once pinned.

Bulma scrambled off of the floor and nearly jumped into the man's arms when she saw that the snake was missing, but regained her composure. She pulled her pants up and huffed, "I-"

"It was a summon," He explained to her, deliberately bringing up a flaw in whatever technology she used to hide them. "Your father's foolish invention is nothing compared to true ninja art." Things made sense to him now. His chakra couldn't help him recover, which was why he felt the ridiculous amount of pain that he did. There was a window in the bathroom, he approached it slowly and looked out. There were men standing outside patiently waiting, he couldn't make out what village they were from. "And we've been had."

Bulma looked at her watch, seeing no notification of a security breach. Maybe Chosa needed some tweaking, "We're fine."

"What makes you so sure?" K snapped at the girl after he saw her check the watch. "Your faith in the technology is too strong. In the end your father died at the hands of a shinobi because of his foolishness. I'm trying to make sure you don't suffer the same fate."

The blue haired teenager burst into tears and charged out of the bathroom, "Fuck this, fuck you!" She ran down the hall and into the bedroom; slamming the door.

Everyone in the house heard what K said.

"We'll leave her to die then," K announced as if what he said wasn't incredibly crude.

Goku was the first to speak up, "We're not leaving Bulma!"

"She's not a native or an ally of Kumogakure," K responded with finality. "Get ready to leave."

"Didn't you say there were three men outside?" Master Roshi still had the image of a bottomless Bulma burned in his head, but he knew when it was time to be serious.

"I have a plan," K said simply. "Leave the infant too."


(Outside The House)

Every move has to be calculated, with contingencies to boot. All of his plans took years to execute and he would see each and everyone through to the end, but he didn't however plan for one thing: Son Goku. The boy was ironically the perfect monkey wrench to any well thought out plan.

The old shinobi stood patiently waiting with his two subordinates as they stared at what appeared to be an empty clearing. He was patient though, unlike his two students. Every passing moment the silence was cut by an annoyed groaned, or a complaint of being tired. Another one was about to slip out but he ended it before it could become actual sound out of the child's mouth, "You are a being of unlimited energy, stop it." Orochimaru hissed quietly.

Lapis still groaned, "There is nothing here."

"There is something here," Orochimaru assured the boy as he stood with his arms folded over one another. "Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet."

"What book did you pull that out of old man?" Lazuli asked with a raised brow but got no response, to which she sighed. "You used to be way more fun."

"We'll have more fun soon," The Sannin hissed and started to smile, "Once we bring your little brother home, our family can have all the fun in the world."


If you follow my other story Death Is Irrelevant, i'll be updating soon. Putting the finishing touches on the chapter.