I don't own these characters or profit from them.

By, Clayton Overstreet

"How long has she been in there?" Tenchi asked.
"Three days." Noboyuki said frowning. "I finally had to ask Washu to start
providing her with ingredients and replacements for the stuff she blew up before
she worked her way through our mortgage payments."
"Mihoshi still have the runs?"
"Yup. Ryo-oki is still coughing up bits of marshmellow."
"Washing her own mouth out with lemon juice and garlic."
"Locked herself in the lab with Washu and has been living on pizza."
"He thinks Mihoshi is the lucky one."
They both froze as Ryoko's head stuck through the wall. "Oh Noboyuki, could
you come in here and taste something for me?"
He hadn't eaten in two days. On the weekend he'd had no excuse to go into
town. His stomach was knawing at him for food. Still he looked pleadingly at his
son, who promptly developed an interest in the ceiling. With a wimper Noboyuki's
head dropped to his chest and he walked into the kitchen.
Tenchi stared at the door as silence filled the livingroom. Somewhere in the
kitchen he could hear someone crying. Then it was quiet for a minute before...
Tenchi heard the sound of glass breaking and ran to the door. Peeking through
a crack in the door he saw the kitchen window was broken out and his father was
in the backyard stuffing grass and mud into his mouth like a madman.
"Damn. So much for my tuna Oreo icecream pepper surprise." Ryoko mumbled. She
turned and saw Tenchi peeking in at her. Tenchi can you help me?"
Wincing he walked into the kitchen. "What exactly are you trying to do?"
"I... well I am trying to learn how to cook so I can be perfect for you."
Ryoko said. "I mean I know you love me, but I love you and I just want to do my
He hugged her tightly and smiled. "You really don't need to do this."
Especially since I'm the only one left, he added mentally. "I mean I did marry
you after all." (See one of this Author's other fics for details).
She smiled down into his eyes. "I know, but I don't want Sasami to do all of
the cooking forever. I'm going to figure this out if it kills me."
"The problem is you're killing everyone else." Tenchi said. "Have you actually
tasted any of this stuff yourself?"
"Are you out of your mind?" She asked. "Why do you think I'm using test
subjects like Washu suggested? I wouldn't feed this stuff to either of us until
someone else has tried it."
Tenchi mentaly sent thanks to whatever gods were watching over him. In the
reflection on the front of the stove he briefly saw Tsunami appear and hold up
two fingers in a V. "So what exactly have you been trying for?"
"Well I've watched Sasami and read through these cookbooks. Most of it just
seems to be putting things together and cooking it. So far I've also made
marshmellow pork steaks, peanut butter cheeseburgers, grilled eggplant and mayo,
gummyworm covered noodles, and popcornballs... who knew they were flamable?"
Tenchi sighed. "I think I see the problem here. You keep sticking things
together that taste good right?"
She nodded. "Exactly."
"Um, why don't you not do that? I mean there are recipes in the books...
better yet why don't we just order pizza tonight?"
"I'm not leaving until I make one edible food."
He thought about it. "Just one and you'll quit?"
"If you don't I'll make you eat your own cooking."
She flinched. "That's just mean."
"All right, here is what you do..."

Tenchi found the others hiding in the mouth of the cave gathered around a
pizza box. He smiled and walked towards them. "How is everything?"
"Is she done yet lord Tenchi?" Aeka asked.
"Almost. Look I snuck something out to you guys." He held up an icecube tray.
Inside were some orange cubes with toothpicks stuck in them. "Some popcicles."
They were on him like starving dogs. When he looked up Tenchi saw all of them
sucking on the frozen treats. "Good?" Everyone nodded. "Well guess who made
Ryoko suddenly appeared. "Are they really good?" The others nodded reluctantly
as orange juice dribbled down their chins. "Oh good. I was afraid my secret
ingredient would make them taste strange. Tenchi tried to talk me out of it..."
They all gulped loudly and slowky removed the popcicles from their mouths.
"What ingredient?"
Ryoko suddenly vanished and their eyes turned to Tenchi. He held up his hands
and grinned. "Hey she told you I tried to talk her out of it." He suddenly took
off running. The others ran after him.
"Tenchi Masaki, get back here and tell us what the hell we just ate!"

The End

Author's note

What you think just cause Tenchi marries Ryoko and the bad guys are dead
things are perfect? Email me your opinions at clayton_n@hotmail.com or go to my
Anime Debate chat room (formerly the Tenchi Debate) at