Misery on the 24th
a/n: I won't rant here. Yep, can you believe that? I'm back. I attached a "notes" section here. Why? Because I have decided to rant a lot and I don't think you like long A/N's. If you're interested, you can read the notes.
disclaimer: Fuuko and Mikagami aren't mine. And so is the song I used, "Misery" by Pink feat. Steven Tyler. Ooh, how I LOVE this song!!
misery on the 24th, another
cherie's lousy attempt to write a songfic - started on november 2nd 2002
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Shadows are fallin' all over town
A purple-haired girl slammed the door roughly. Judging from her actions, it was clear that she wasn't anywhere near girly. Her heart was aching badly. Sighing, she sat on her sofa and her head carelessly turned to the window.
Dark shadows were blanketing the tall buildings of Boston. The moon was nowhere to be found. Great. This only made her feelings worse. Those shadows were as murky as her heart. She thought that staying inside would only mean killing herself slowly, so she grabbed her brown jacket and went for a midnight ride.
Another night, and these blues got me down
Fuuko arrived at the apartment's basement parking lot and walked quickly to her flivver, a ten-year-old silver Ford. She opened the door and sat on the driver's seat. Her fingers started to play with the radio. Automatically, she tuned into her favorite station.
"And now folks, we're gonna give you one of Pink's best collaborations. It's called Misery, featuring THE Steven Tyler of Aerosmith!!"
She sighed. What a perfect song for her tonight. She paused to listen to the song. Sighing again, Fuuko turned on the car's machine and started driving.
The car's air conditioner was dead again, for the umpteenth time that month. The only thing she could do to save herself from dying (thanks to the lack of oxygen inside) was to open the window. And as she did so, a chilly winter breeze swept through, mischievously toying with the purple strands of her hair. An ironic smile crept to her lips.
Oh, misery! I sure could use some company
As she drove by a couple of extremely mushy lovers, Fuuko couldn't help but feel a little bit lonely. Nothing so new, for she had felt it often. But still...it would be so much better if she had company. Say, Mikagami for example...
What am I thinking?
Mikagami? Ugh. The girl quickly shunned the disgusting thought away. She continued driving, with a bitter feeling in her heart.
Since you've been gone, I ain't been the same
She remembered clearly the events that just happened. Fuuko waited, and waited, and waited, and waited at the bridge. Nobody came. She felt as if she was standing in the middle of a cemetery. So calm, quiet, and peaceful, but uncomforting at the same time.
The girl dialed his cell phone, but the only thing that answered her was the typical voice mail service crap. Her heartbeat started to pound faster. Needless to say, she was worried. Fuuko quickly left the bridge and ran to his apartment.
On the way to his building, she passed the jam-packed city square. Families, friends, and lovers were gathering there to celebrate the Christmas night all of them had been waiting for. When she was trying frantically to walk through the busy crowd, her violet-tinted eyes caught sight of long, silvery hair.
She anxiously ran to catch up with him, ignoring the hustle and bustle surrounding her. But when she finally got closer to him, she noticed that an arm was linked with his. Her eyes scanned the other arm's owner. A simply beautiful lady with light brunette hair.
I carry the weight like an old ball and chain
Fuuko felt like an enormous iron ball was dropped on her from the moon. She still couldn't believe the sight before her. So...what was the purpose of her waiting solemnly at the bridge when Mikagami was here, with another girl?
He betrayed her.
The wind child's heart was hurt deeply. She also felt angry, upset, and stupid at the same time. Unable to control her feelings any longer, she screamed, "Baka!" in Japanese, a language not commonly used in Boston. Obviously, her shout was loud enough for people in at least 10-meter radius to hear, because the object of the cuss himself--Mikagami--instinctively turned his head to the direction of the voice.
But she didn't really give a damn. Kirisawa Fuuko turned her body with her back facing the silver-haired man and left.
Guess it's all meant to be
Actually, Mikagami wasn't her first love. She first fell in love with her sempai, about two or three years ago. What happened? When Fuuko finally gathered enough courage to confess her love, the object of her affection harshly rejected her.
"You? Why don't you look at yourself in the mirror before you come to me, tomboy?"
Pain. She was deeply hurt. And she actually thought that she found her true love when she and Mikagami got together one year ago.
How foolish of her.
For love to cause such misery
She later realized that "love" was nothing but lies. The feeling was simply artificial. True love didn't exist. True love never existed. Even if it were real, it would never subsist.
And at this very moment, Kirisawa Fuuko stopped believing in love. Compassion? Affection? Ha. Who needs them? Twice heartbroken was more than enough for this purple-haired girl. She truly didn't need more to prove that the only thing love could develop was a heartache.
Oh, misery! Oh misery!
The song was still playing on the radio. Fuuko realized that the song's heart-wrenching melody was making her heart hurt even more, still, she didn't care.
Oh, how ironic.
Tell me why does my heart make a fool of me
The girl knew that she didn't really deserve things. Of course she was a tomboy. Of course she was someone everybody hated. And of course, she was still human after all. She was incapable of holding all the grief alone. A little exaggerating, but the point was true.
So why did the people she loved keep hurting her?
Seems it's my destiny
The thought crossed her mind.
Perhaps...just perhaps, it was meant to be. Fuuko was born to get hurt. Perhaps it was her destiny. All sorts of possibilities came to her. Maybe she wasn't destined to have any love. She was doomed to eternal loneliness. It was her fate.
As much as she tried to ignore the stupid destiny crap, a part of her succumbed to the hands of fate.
Yeah, she thought bitterly, it wasn't impossible.
For love to cause me misery
No matter how much her heart cried for help, there was never a helping hand. She was left alone in the midst of the cloudy fog. Fuuko had to find the answer on her own. The wind child must fight alone. Unaided. Without help.
That's the way it was. Always.
And oh! I've been down this road before
Her hands turned the driving wheel to the right. Right in front of her car stood an enormous metal bridge, crossing over a frozen lake. The bridge was very quiet, no vehicle was visible there. The golden rays of the moon shone over it, making the bridge look very beautiful.
Something from the past clicked into Fuuko's psyche painfully.
Exactly one year ago, Mikagami Tokiya confessed his love to Kirisawa Fuuko on this very bridge.
With a passion that turns to pain
She just sighed and parked her car before the bridge. She dragged her feet towards the middle of the bridge at a snail's pace.
One year ago.
On this exact spot.
Here they shared their first kiss, a compassionate kiss filled with love and a passion that no longer existed. The only feeling that was on hand now was pain.
And each time I saw love walk out the door
For a moment, a silence ensued. No wonder, because everybody was at the city square, celebrating this joyful Christmas night. Fuuko had seen the ethereal beauty on children's faces when they go to bed on Christmas nights. Their smiles were heavenly, their innocent mind expecting good old Saint Nicholas to come and leave lots of presents under the merrily decorated tree.
She wished she had a smile like those children's.
Fuuko averted her sight to the cloudless winter sky. The chilly wind swept by, playing with her purple tendrils mischievously.
Silly me. I thought I found my true love. After all those times when I was rejected, hurt, and shamed. I thought he came to save me.
A bitter smile appeared on her features.
I swore never get caught again
"I will never let love defeat me again. To hell with you, love." She had claimed long ago.
I swore an oath to take care of myself. I can take care of myself.
How foolish of me.
All of those vows and swears and oaths were broken here, on this bridge.
I surrendered to him.
Fuuko's fist tightened, filled with her erupting rage.
But ain't it true? It takes what it takes
Her handphone beeped, interrupting the stray of thoughts that were conversing in her head. She took it out from her pocket and lifted an eyebrow when she read the name on the phone. Apparently, it was a message from Mikagami.
Although she was very pissed at him, she bothered to read his message nonetheless.
"Look behind you", it said.
Fuuko wondered what it meant. Turning her head backwards, she saw Mikagami leaning his back on the bridge's railing with his mobile in his right hand. She almost went berserk.
How the hell did he get here?! She must've been distracted by her thoughts, otherwise she would feel somebody coming.
Oh, how Fuuko wanted to kick him into the icy water below. How she craved to spit at him, to throw a humongous cookie jar at him. She was sinking in grief, and yet there he stood, emotionless as ever.
"What do you want, jerk?" Fuuko demanded crudely.
Mikagami grimaced slightly when the word 'jerk' came along. He didn't answer her yet as he was walking to the other side of the bridge, standing beside her and resting his arms on the railing.
"I...want to apologize," he said after a short moment of thought.
The girl stared as him as if he had grown himself a couple of yellow antlers and his nose had became redder than Rudolph's.
"Since when did THE Mikagami Tokiya start apologizing?" She countered sarcastically. "Leave, Mikagami. I don't want you here."
And sometime we get too smart to leave
Crystalline blue eyes flashed a look of hurt. "What if I don't want to?" He retorted.
Fuuko snorted. "Then I will."
She turned to leave, but his hand suddenly grabbed her wrist firmly. "Quit it!" The wind wielder snapped, quickly taking back her hand. "Just leave me alone, will you?"
"I'm sorry, Fuuko."
"Apology not accepted," she said, followed by a roll of her eyes.
"Fuuko, please!" He pleaded. "I'm very, very sorry."
She stopped. Never before had she heard Mikagami Tokiya sound so desperate and pathetic. But if he really did give a damn for her, why the hell would he be at the square with a girl while she was waiting patiently for him??
"It's not what you think." He answered her silent question. "The girl you saw with me was Chrissy. I...I asked her to help me find a Christmas gift for you. I didn't think it would take us so long...I'm sorry I'm late, Fuuko."
One more heartache for me
And it's strike three for Kirisawa Fuuko. Part of her felt relieved, while the other felt guilty. She didn't know what to do. Should she trust him? But what if he was lying to her? Thousands of questions flew freely inside of her.
But tonight, she was in a mood to follow her heart.
Another night of misery
She looked at him, trying to decipher that expression on his face. "Are you telling me the truth?" asked Fuuko hesitantly.
"Believe me, I am."
Mikagami's sapphire eyes showed nothing but sorry. She had known him long enough to know that what he said was sincere.
Fuuko smiled. "I believe you."
He returned the gesture by capturing the surprised girl into his embrace. Fuuko gasped in shock but hugged him back eventually.
"Merry Christmas, Fuu-chan," he whispered into her ear.
"You too, Mi-chan."
Oh! And oh misery! Oh misery!
"Hey, Fuuko?" The silver-haired man began after letting her go.
"Want to catch something to eat? I'm kind of hungry."
She laughed. "Sure thing, but are they still open? It's midnight, baka yarou."
"The café's having a Christmas celebration until morning. I heard they're having a live band."
"Okay then, but what about my car?" Fuuko asked.
"Leave it. We can get it tomorrow," answered her partner.
Tell me why does my heart make a fool of me
The café was decorated with beautiful Christmas hollies. On the ceiling, hung a small mistletoe. Fuuko wasn't feeling very mushy that night, so when Mikagami mentioned the plant, she quickly pushed him to his chair.
"What?" He asked.
"No mistletoes." She replied shortly, drinking her chocolate milkshake.
Mikagami smiled. "Why?"
"Not until tomorrow, no."
She whined when he started chuckling.
Oh misery! Oh misery!
After the little commotion ended, they watched the band from their seats. The band was playing classic Christmas carols, from "Rudolph" until "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town". After they finished doing "Have Yourself A Merry Little X'mas", the band began playing a slow instrumental of "Silent Night" as the café lights turned off.
"Is it going to close?" Fuuko queried. Mikagami shrugged.
Her guess was proven to be wrong, because after then the café owner took the microphone and announced, "The clock had just stroke twelve, people! It's officially December 25th! Merry Christmas!"
The crowd gave a loud cheer and a very loud applause. The purple-haired girl yawned. "Ne, Mi-chan, happy Christmas... and, um, can you take me home? I'm sleepy."
Mikagami just gave her a naughty smile.
"I don't like the way your face looks now, Mi-chan."
"Fuuko, it's Christmas." He said, a mischievous glint was visible in his blue eyes.
She eyed him dangerously with her tired eyes. "So?"
"So...can we give the mistletoe a go before we get home?"
Tell me why, why, why, why, why, why does this heart make a fool of me
She blushed furiously. "Mi-chan!"
"What? You said no mistletoes until Christmas. And now is officially Christmas."
"Please?" He shot her a funny-looking imitation of Yanagi's trademark puppy-dog eyes.
She laughed heartily. "Those pleading eyes do NOT suit you, Mi-chan!"
"Fuuko, don't change the topic..."
"Who's changing the topic?"
Frustrated, he stood up and grabbed Fuuko's hand, dragging her to the mistletoe hanging in the center of the café.
"Mi-chan!! No-no-no! It'll be embarrassing!"
"Says who?" His hand gestured to another couple who was kissing passionately under another mistletoe in the corner. Obviously enough, most of the café's customers were lovers, and the majority of them had left their chairs to either dance to the music, or standing underneath the mistletoe. The couples who didn't leave their seats were snuggling mushily to each other.
Seems it's my destiny
Her words were stopped by Mikagami's lips. Fuuko was shocked, she felt like she was just stroke by lightning. Her whole body tensed. After two seconds of pure shock, she relented and returned the kiss.
When they ended their kiss, half the café was applauding for them. The café owner whistled playfully while the band members gave them silly grins and started rocking into "These Are The Special Times".
Fuuko's cheeks were the color of vibrant crimson. "A-ah...uh, Mi-chan..." She stuttered stupidly.
Mikagami rested his chin on Fuuko's purple hair. "Yes, Fuuko?"
"Um, can we get back to our seats now?"
For love to cause me misery
Back in their seats, Fuuko was gesturing to Mikagami that a piece of the mocha cake he had ordered earlier was on his face, when the café owner came to them. He grabbed Fuuko's hand and shook it vigorously.
"Aye, congrats, missy!"
She stared at the fat man. Mikagami raised a brow. The owner laughed. "For that mistletoe kiss!! You two reminded me of me and my beloved wife when we were young! Seems that you two are building a very special relationship, no?" He spoke with an accent.
Fuuko reddened again and concentrated to poke at the remnants of her tiramisu with her fork.
Mr. Café Owner turned to Mikagami and patted his back enthusiastically. "You too, my man! You lucky, lucky dog!!"
Mikagami choked. The piece of cake he had swallowed was stuck on his throat.
"Aye, you young lads are so bad with your table manners!" The fat man remarked, handing Mikagami a napkin with the café's logo on it. "Sorry, gotta get back to work. Good luck, you two!"
The silver-haired boy mumbled a small "thanks" and Fuuko lifted her head, taking a deep breath.
For love to cause me misery, oh misery
After a long silence, Fuuko looked up to Mikagami who was taking a sip from his coffee cream.
"I'm...sorry," she said.
Mikagami looked at her confusedly. "For what?"
"For calling you a jerk, back at the bridge." She smiled sheepishly.
He just smiled. "No problem. I was a jerk. I let you down."
She shook her head quickly. "Iie. It was a misunderstanding, that's it."
Guess it's all meant to be
As they drove home with a box of chocolate candy (Mr. Café Owner insisted them to bring it home as a gift), they went by the city square. It was still crowded with people surrounding the big Christmas tree.
"Fuuko, wanna take a look around?" Mikagami offered.
"No thanks, I'm tired... And, Mi-chan, don't forget to pick me up tomorrow--err, today, ten o' clock."
"You're giving me a lift to the bridge, I need to get my car back. And I want to go to a Christmas celebration at the park, I think they're putting up a concert or some sort." She answered, yawning.
He nodded. "Alright. Don't sleep, we almost reach your apartment."
"Want to sleep at my place? It's midnight, I doubt you still have the energy to drive home." Fuuko said as she started fumbling for her keys.
"Thanks, but I think I can make it."
For love to cause me misery, oh no, yeah
The car stopped before Fuuko's building. "We're here," he announced.
"...You know something, Mi-chan?"
"It's funny, you know. I was very miserable just two hours ago," She muttered. "And now it's turned 180 degrees."
"What, you really thought I was cheating on you?" He asked with an exaggerated-unbelieving tone.
Fuuko nodded and grinned sheepishly. Mikagami rolled his eyes heavenwards.
"I may be an arrogant jerk sometimes, but I don't cheat, get it?" He looked at her. "Especially to people like you."
The purple haired girl's heart began to race. She nodded slowly. "I trust you fully, Mi-chan."
"Stop calling me 'Mi-chan'. It sounds stupid." The man protested.
She laughed, "Alright, Tokiya."
"That's better," Mikagami replied, smiling at her. "Goodnight, Fuuko."
"Goodnight, Tokiya," Fuuko answered before giving him a final goodnight kiss.
As she walked back to her apartment that night, Kirisawa Fuuko couldn't help but feel that she was the luckiest girl in the world.
o w a r i
Oh, fine. Forgive the mushy ending. Read the notes, okay? And REVIEW!!
this piece of fanfiction was written by cherie takahachi, done on december 21, 2002
dedicated to the lovers in christmas eve
have a merry christmas, minna-san