Perks and Pains

Chapter 1: Sleeping in Your Boyfriend's Bed

Perk: His bed is usually comfier than yours.

Tenten was tired. The frat party was still in full swing downstairs and frankly, she wasn't really one to party much anyways. But still, final exam results just came out and everyone who passed (and some of those who failed, namely one blonde loudmouth who had remedial among others) was willing to celebrate and drink the night away for finishing another term at university unscathed. And so, coffee turned into alcohol and everyone was having fun. Tenten did so too. At least, in the first two hours or so.
Blindingly making her way up the stairs, Tenten just wanted to sleep now. She could just hear the call of the lovely bed seducing her. Making a bee-line towards a door that she knew to be her Hyuga boyfriend's, she went in and just sunk into the covers of his very comfy bed.

It did not occur to her that there was a poster in the door she entered whereas her boyfriend's door was bare. Also, she did not notice that the room was way messier than its usual tidy and meticulous self. No, it didn't occur to her, all she knows is she needed to catch up on one week's worth of sleep and she knew that her boyfriend's bed was much better than her ratty dorm one. And when the bed dipped indicating another person getting into the bed with her, Tenten simply cuddled up to them, her mind buzzed and demanded sleep. And sleep, she did.

Pains: Mornings after can give you heart attacks, specifically when you realize you slept in the wrong bed.

Neji was shifting beside her, Tenten let out a groan. The sunlight coming from the window was giving her a head ache. Neji continued to shift beside her. Her back was to him and his arm embraced her waist from behind. Tenten let out a smile. Still with closed eyes, she turned her front to him and in a soft but audible whisper, "Good morning."

"Morning, babe." Replied a gruff voice.

That's when alarm bells went off in Tenten's mind. That was certainly not Neji. Her boyfriend, most definitely, did not call her something as stupid as that.

Her eyes opened the exact same time the unknown man did. Both of them let out a horrified shriek.

What was supposed to be long brown locks turned into blonde and the expected lilac eyes became blue ones.

"AHHHHHHHH," Naruto deftly rolled out of his own bed and onto the floor. And Tenten, despite being fully clothed in last night's shirt and jeans, began to claw at the sheets to cover herself up and crawling to the edge of the bed, started to clobber the offending half naked male (who was supposedly not her boyfriend!) with a plastic soda bottle conveniently left behind at the bedside table.

"Ow! Dattebayo!" Naruto exclaimed when Tenten managed to land a solid hit on his forehead. Ignoring his bouts of protests and forgetting entirely about the sheets she previously clutched to her chest,Tenten continued to hit him at every opportunity. With every hit, she said, "Why. Didn't. You. Wake. Me. Up!" She tugged a bit at his ear for good measure, this made the blonde give out a dignified yelp.

Naruto, who had had enough of the plastic onslaught, took hold both of her wrists, effectively stopping her.

This promptly led them to make eye contact.

They were each at the opposite ends of the room in the next second, letting out a shudder in disgust.

Both of them started to wake the whole house with their simultaneous, incoherent, horrid shouts.
"Oh my God!"

"Bloody hell, I thought you were Neji!"

"What were you doing in my room?!"

"I'm sorry!"

"Oh my God!"

A pause. Tenten eerily made her way across the room and poked him in the chest..

"You touched me last night. Thought you were gonna get fucking lucky weren't ya?!"

"I didn't mean to!"

"What? Your slimy hands just accidentally found it's way to my ass?"

"I thought you were someone else! I swear I didn't mean to feel you up!"
"Shh! You're gonna let the whole house know!"

Distancing himself at arms' length, Naruto suddenly had an epiphany.
"Neji is gonna kill me!"

"You're over reacting."

"Noooooo! You," Tenten was suddenly looking at his index finger pointed in between her eyes, "don't get it! He's not gonna kill you," then pointing the finger to himself, "he's gonna kill me." And then he started to pace.

He kept muttering 'Neji's gonna kill me' like a mantra while pacing back and forth the room in his shirtless, boxer clad, glory.

He was then coming up with such lame excuses and escape plans that Tenten was left dumbfounded, following his pacing with her eyes and listening to said lame excuses. There was one plan that escaped his lips that Tenten thought was just really really full of crack but nonetheless would have wanted to see.

"Maybe I'd tell him, I'm gay," Naruto muttered, "Yeah yeah, maybe perform a small yaoi show with teme. I know the bastard has the hots for me, fucking faggot." Honestly, Tenten wanted to laugh right now but with the small adrenaline rush fading, she was starting to feel a headache forming. It doesn't help that the Uzumaki's continued mantra "Oh shit. Neji's gonna kill me," was getting louder and louder still.

"He's not going to, Naruto." Tenten assured the blonde but he continued to ignore her. He kept muttering the mantra to himself when suddenly, he grasped her shoulders with both hands, pulled her so close that their noses were scrunched together and he was looking at her with shaking wide eyes that it almost made Tenten laugh if it were not staring directly at hers.

"Tenten. Promise me, when he finally does the deed, don't let mom see my porn. She'll bring me back to life and kill me herself!"

Tenten only graced him with an incredulous face.

"You're over reacting Naruto!" Tenten proceeded to shake out of his grip.

"Promise me, woman!"

Tenten only continued to shake out his grip.

"No. I will not!" Her patience running thin, she simply shoved a hand to his face and pushed him away. Naruto could only let out a yelp and before he knew it, he was on the floor again and Tenten was looking down and towering over him.

"Here's what we're gonna do, I'm going to explain this to him, nice and gently," directing a glare at the blonde, "without the unneccessary things."

At Naruto's dumbfounded look, Tenten's glare multiplied the intensity tenfold.

Only then did realization dawned on the Uzumaki, "Right, no telling of the ass touching."

The female could only let out an exasperated sigh and walked towards the door. Hearing the blonde shuffling behind her, she decided to wait for him to get up before opening the door.

When a fully dressed Naruto finally made his way by her side, she opened the door...revealing a very disgruntled Hyuga.

Both paled instantly.

Awkward silence.

"This is not what it looks like!" It was Tenten that broke the silence but before she could explain further Neji raised a hand to stop her.

"You do realize that my room is just besides this one, right? And you were creating quite a ruckus."

"Neji, I-!" Neji once again interrupted her, "You need not to explain yourself, Tenten. I heard and I trust you. I know you wouldn't do anything of the sorts."

The duo by the door were still dumbstruck.

"Why don't you go into my bathroom and fix yourself a bit, I believe you still have spare clothes in my closet." Neji added.

That seemed to snap them out of their reverie.

"ThankssoomuchforunderstandingNeji. I love you!" After standing on her tippy toes and giving her boyfriend a chaste peck on the lips, she all but sprinted towards his room(it's really his this time!) with Neji trailing her sprinting form with his eyes. The door promptly shut with an audible click.

He then turned his all-seeing eyes to the blonde who visibly relaxed.



"We're okay right, Neji ole' pal?"

Neji's eyes narrowed.

Naruto let out a nervous chuckle, turned around with lightning speed, planning on pulling an Elsa and locking himself in his room for a good few hours. Or years.

But Neji was faster, grabbing him on the shoulder with one hand and swiftly turned him around again to face him.

"What are you hightailing for, Uzumaki? I said I heard what happened and I understand," the Hyuga said in his normal monotone voice.

This made Naruto visibly relax. He let out a relieved 'phew!' and said, "Thanks, I thought you'd kill me or something, 'ttebayo."

Scratching the back of his head, Naruto let out a laugh and thrusted out a hand for Neji to shake, "We're good, ne?"

Neji eyed the outstretched hand for a while before giving him a curt nod and gave a firm shake, "Fine."

"Cool." When the blonde made a move to retract his hand, Neji merely gripped it tighter, almost forcing his knees to buckle.

"However," Neji's once calm composure suddenly darkened completely, his eyes showing sadistic pleasure when the blonde squirmed, "I heard that there was, I quote, 'an ass touching,' that occured."

Naruto let out a nervous chuckle, "You're lucky, she's got a very nice ass?" that came out as a question. The blonde comically gulped and mentally quivered as the Hyuga tightened his grip even more at his sheer stupidity and lack of tact.

"Yeow!" This time his knees did buckle.

Trying a different tactic, "I'm gay. I can fucking prove it!" This made Neji raise his eyebrows. His grip also slackened slightly, but it was enough for Naruto to yank his hand and run towards the Uchiha's room downstairs, shouting, "Teme! Kiss me! You know you want to, you faggot!"

Neji heard a small, "What the f-" before it was cut off with a smooching sound followed by a loud 'SMACK' and a pained groan.

The Hyuga only let out a small snort of amusement and made his way to his room. He needed to mark his terrority.

The others knew not to question the suspicious sounds emitted from the Hyuga's room.


My pitiful attempts at humour is just so pitiful. Don't look at me!

Hiya! This idea just won't leave me behind at all! So yeah. I'll be updating 'The Compromise' maybe next week!