This story is an idea I had, and I have yet to actually come up with a overarching storyline for this. If you take the time to read this, I would LOVE to hear your thoughts on it Review or PM (stalking me down so you can talk in person might be a bit much) I just really like feedback, especially on something so different from what I usually write.

Enjoy ^-^


Tanks sat in row upon row of green liquid. Each one held a different version of him. Kili could not help but feel his skin crawl at the sight. He'd never get used to this. Even after the thousands of times he had done it, the process still unnerved him.

Only Thorin seemed to have more copies of himself than Kili did. He didn't know how his uncle could stand it.

The lighting didn't help. You couldn't see the ceiling; it was too dark. Just enough light to see the floor and look inside the tanks. He wished he couldn't. He had no desire to look at himself. Each on different, changing along with narration. It was sickening how many of them were beaten beyond imagining or partly undressed. Often both.

What had he done to deserve this? Just because a certain actor played him, he had to go through all of this time and time again. If only he had been played by someone Balin's age. The old dwarf got to spend all his time relaxing, with barely two hundred versions of himself stuffed away in a separate room.

"Ah Kili! There you are." The young dwarf jumped, as the white-coated girl appeared suddenly a few feet away. The programing for story creation.

Kili didn't know why, but there was something very unnerving about the girl. Her eyes were so large and full of dreams. It was hard to pay attention to any features besides those eyes. It was like she sucked in all the enthusiasm and dreams of grandeur from the naïve authors siting in front of their computers or phones. Huge grins on their faces as they considered all the possibilities of how their peers would respond to their new piece of work.

"We won't need much this time. It's another one-shot." New Story walked up to Kili, bringing out a handheld device with a nasty looking needle on it. He hated it every time. The needle hovered over his extended hand as he braced for the quick but sharp pain that was soon to come. "Nope, they've changed their minds." New Story's eyes widened even more. Kili was sure if they got any larger they would pop. "It's another chapter story."

Kili sighed. "What's the summary this time?"

"They keep changing it." New Story replied, changing the settings on the device. "Probably they'll end up deleting it soon enough. It's actually a story of what's going on here."

"Really?" Kili made a face. "Who would want to read about that?"

"Most likely, no one." New Story smiled pleasantly. "As I said, it'll most likely be deleted soon enough. Alright, here we go." Kili gritted his teeth as the needle inserted into the top layer of skin. The smallest bit of blood filled the tube at the other end. New Story removed the needle, pocketing the blood in one of the many pockets on her white lab coat.

"Thanks, for this. I'll call you again as soon as another story asks for you. Have a nice day!"

Kili could leave fast enough. The large metal door slammed shut behind him as he left the dark, tank filled room. His name sat in black letters upon a plaque on the door. Fourty seven other doors lined this hallway.

A door sat on either end of the long hallway. One was the employee door. Kili knew on the other side, the door was labeled with the name 'The Hobbit'. None of the characters were allowed through that door unless on special occasions like crossovers.

But that was mostly back in the old days. Now a days, with the recent technology advancements, characters just met each other through video chat. Too many escapees and security breaches back then.

It caused unreliable performance for users and the site moderators had to shut down progress until the characters could be caught and returned to their proper place.

Kili broke his eyes away from the door and walked glumly in the other direction. Walking through the door to a large lounge area. The summer resort was plush beyond reason. And there was an air of content over the place. Dull, bored, but content.

"How'd it go?" Fili called to him lazily from where he was relaxing on a floating chair.

"Like any other time." Kili grumbled. "Someone's writing a story about this place."

"Hey, maybe something interesting will happen." Fili shrugged. Anyone within ear shot snickered. Nothing ever happened here.

"You have got to be joking." The Master grumbled from his lounge chair as he flipped through his touch phone. "I'm in only one more story than the raven?" Röac chortled from nearby.

"You're complaining? I'm in only one story! ONE!" The Master looked over at the tiny hedgehog reclining next to him. "I'm adorable! I don't understand any of this. My acting was top notch you know? The CGI was amazing… I don't understand why I'm not more popular."

"Maybe cause you're a hedge hog." Tilda called sweetly from the large heated pool. "For what it's worth, I think you're adorable!"

"Thank you! Someone who knows true talent when they see it."

"You think you have it hard," a loud booming voice rumbled through the place. Everyone looked up at Smaug. "The elf girl who isn't even in the book has more stories than I do!"

"Everyone loves a canon mary sue." Tauriel nodded in satisfaction. "I'm part of the only real romance story in the movie."

"Once again the forces of popular culture act upon a strong female character, wasted for an idiotic romance." Galadriel spoke slowly as she paced back and forth along the pool deck.

"What do you call that business with you and Gandalf?" Tauriel jabbed.

"Your comment leaves me wondering what you could mean." Galadriel frowned.

"Actually what was with that?" Galion made a face. "Aren't Galadriel and Celeborn married?"

Gandalf coughed in embarrassment.

"Says the bit part character who's only got two more stories than the hedgehog."

"HE has more stories than I do? IT'S AN OUTRAGE!"

"At least you have a name." Gawahir squawked. "I'm called The Eagle-King. Can you believe that?"

"Sometimes I wonder how many of these authors have even read the book." Bilbo mumbled from his basket. The poor dear missed his hobbit hole so much, he had gotten in the habit of hiding in a tipped over basket for hours at a time.

Kili sighed. This was the way it always was. Bored characters complaining about how unfair everything is or bragging about how well off they have it. He shuffled past Bard and Legolas who were having a hot archer contest again. Kili used to participate as well, but he was too tired these days. He was the second most popular character, and he was sick of it. It was all these movies' fault. Before then, he'd been one face in a crowd of identical dwarves. Then BAM they make a movie, and all of a sudden he can't get more than a moments peace. Why him?

"Oi! Hedgehog!" Dain came barreling past. "I think I figured out your problem. The fangirls are prejudice against cgi! I'm only in one story too."

"Discriminatory Bastards."

Kili was fed up with it all. And he thought this to himself as he plopped down in a large beanbag chair. How long until he could retire? How many more times would he be called into the tank rooms, his dna removed to make another version of himself for amateur authors to follow their fantasies?

The red warning light flashed, indicating that the door to the outside was being opened. "Another OC?" Smaug groaned loudly. "Can't I just eat them and be done with it? They're all the same anyway." The others chuckled or made snide comments. OC's were generally disliked by the characters. They weren't always bad, but weren't their enough characters in the story already?

"What do you think? Another mary sue or a plot device to allow us characters to share our grievances aloud?" Fili called to his brother.

"Both." Kili rolled his eyes. "I hope this one's for you Fee."

"How gracious of you." Fili said sarcastically. Most heads turned as the door to the lounge opened and another unreasonably beautiful young girl walked through. Fili gave Kili a look that said 'she's the cute type, probably yours then'. That's the way it went. Kili got the cute ones. Thorin got the mature girls. And Fili got… basically anyone who didn't easily fit in either category.

"Who're you looking for lass?" Balin asked kindly.

The young woman looked around anxiously, obviously new to all of this. "Actually, I'm looking for Oin… is he around?" Several glances were shared.

"Good thing I'm not going anywhere near that one." Kili grumbled, shaking his head to clear it. "Some fanfiction authors are just… messed up."

"Maybe it's not so bad." Fili shrugged. "The author probably set it in the past or something like that. Close the age gap and all." Oin, in the meantime, had finally been awoken from his nap and was walking over to the girl.

"What's this lass?" He looked her over. "Are you my daughter? Apprentice? What's the summary?"

"Lover." She replied brightly with a smile. "Takes place after Thorin dies. I think I end up consoling you about how many people died or something like that. Looking forward to working with you." She extended a hand. Warily, Oin shook it before drawing it back.

"It's a good thing I don't actually have to put up with the actual story." He grumbled to himself. "What did you say your name was lass?"

"Rin." The girl smiled even brighter. "I'm your long lost sister."

"You were saying Fee?" Kili said in disgust.

"Alright… I was wrong." Fili sighed. "Fanfiction writers are messed up."

"You're Kili, right?" The dark haired archer looked up in surprise as the girl appeared next to him. It was hard to look at her. Her features kept seem to changing, never seeing the same girl from one second to the next.

"I am… are you alright? You seem to be… glitching or something." Kili had heard of OC's changing appearance randomly in stories before. An unexplained change of hair color or race... but this was ridiculous.

"I'm still an unfinished product." Rin explain, flopping down on the ground next to him. "The author hasn't figured out the details or anything. She just started slapping words on a page. I think she's done a careful job of avoiding the actual details on my appearance so far."

Kili snorted in disgust. There needed to be some sort of quality limit on these stories.

"Can I tell you a secret?" Rin whispered. Kili rolled his eyes and sunk lower into his beanbag chair. "I'm not actually a happy person." She grinned widely as Kili gave her a revolted look. "My character has actually gone through a tragic past and is suffering from many horrible experiences and memories that would probably drive any normal person insane or to the point where suicide is the only thinkable solution." She chuckled to herself and gave Kili a warm smile.

"…okay?" The archer made a face. "Then why are you smiling so much?"

"The author hasn't developed my personality at all yet either." Rin nodded. "The default is happy and bubbily, with an amazing charisma that I don't really have. But everyone likes me." She leaned in closer. "Everyone."

"You're creepy."

"Thanks." Rin grinned. "So, I'm bored already. Wanna bail this joint?"


Well, what did you think? Worth continuing? And if so, what direction should I take it? If you have suggestions, I'm all ears.

Thanks for reading by the way ^-^