Normally, walks from home would be hell. Today, it was still hell. But today there was a bit that I liked. Tears were streaming down my face at another day of bullying, head throbbing, heartache. I spotted a patch of dandelions, out of the corner of my red eyes. I grinned for once, for some reason I found a spark of hope in my dark, usually depressed soul. I don't believe in that crap, but I felt like I saw some light let in. There's a 0.000001% chance it might have worked, and besides, I figured nothing bad will happen if it wouldn't come true.
These were my wishes.
Dandelion #1: For Karofsky to back off.
Dandelion #2: To have another spark of hope one day soon.
Dandelion #3: To be comfortable in my body.
Dandelion #4: To wake up smiling tomorrow, even if I'm sobbing into endless rolls of toilet paper and once again silently suffering when school comes.
I don't know if I can admit this one, even though I tell loads of my friends. To write it out like this feels awkward, heavy, and guilty, like I committed a crime or similar.
Dandelion #5: For Finn to love me.
The spark was instantly killed by that last wish, the few cherished minutes of childish happiness faded.
No matter how much hope I have, I'm still a gay guy in Ohio, brutally bullied, desperately clinging onto the slightest dash of hope among the misery, and hopelessly devoted to a straight jock who finds me awkward and weird like almost everyone at McKinley.
That wonderful, childish joy was never going to last anyway.