In a dark chamber far underneath a school of magic where light came from no discernable source and a diary was trying to steal the life force out of a little girl like in some poorly written horror movie there was a young boy with glasses but no brains and a large giant snake that could kill people by looking at them…."Aaaahhhh fuck I looked in the bloody snake's eyes again!" a loud and masculin voice cried out...no called out, called out is much better. A loud and masculin voice called out.
Everyone, diary and snake turned to stare at the god-like Adonis in a red suit who had just appeared before them. "I'm sure that you're wondering about the red suit," the god-like Adonis said in his masculin, panty soaking voice. "Well that's so that bad guys can't see me bleed. Now I just have one question? WHY THE FUCK AM I IN A HARRY POTTER CROSSOVER! THE ONLY HOT CHICK IS BELLATRIX AND SHE DOESN'T SHOW UP FOR ANOTHER THREE MORE BOOKS. WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME GREAT TACO GOD, WHY!?" the god-like Adonis in red asked his Taco god.
"Hey stop narrating in that creepy way. I may be god-like and an Adonis and my very voice will cause panties to get wet but you're a dude and you haven't even bought me dinner so stop talking like that!" Deadpool, for who else would have the bravery, courage and general awesomeness to yell at the person who is in control of his very reality, told the handsome, sexy and single author.
"Dude you're a four at best!" Deadpool yelled.
"Who is he talking to?" the glasses wearing idiot that was Harry Potter asked the soul fragment of Voldemort.
"I'm trying to figure out where he came from myself," Voldemort replied. "Do you think if we ignore him then he'll go away?"
The snake hissed something in parseltoungue.
"And what the hell is parseltongue? It sounds like something that only delivery people would want. They'd be like 'here's your parcel ma'am by the way it says that those panties you ordered would totally not fit your fatass,'" Deadpool said sagely and not at all whiny.
"I agree with the snake I don't think he's going to dissappear," Harry Potter told the ghost of Voldemort.
The author getting bored of this scene allowed Deadpool to show up somewhere more suitable for himself.
"Huh...I guess he did dissappear," ghost Voldemort muttered. "Now where were we?"
Harry Potter, older and still as retarded as always watched in horror as a curse hit his beloved and quite honestly very immature godfather.
Harry watched as Sirius fell slowly towards the veil of death, each second lasting longer than a life time as Sirius fell to his certain death.
"I'M FREE!" a voice yelled out in glee as it pulled it's self out of the veil of death and pushed Sirius to the side, saving his life.
Everyone stared in shock at the figure while Harry Potter slowly started to edge himself away from the strange man he remembered from several years ago.
"What do you mean several years? It wasn't even ten paragraphs ago!?" Deadpool called out, staring up at the roof in confusion.
Everyone stared at Deadpool in shock, Harry Potter kept edging himself backwards and Bellatrix did the only thing she knew how to do besides suck cock, she only knows how to suck cock by the way so that I can get Deadpool's hopes up before destroying them horribly. "Hey that's not nice," Deadpool whined. "How would you like it if I told you there was this hot chick who gave great anal and never let you have fun with her?"
The author ignored Deadpool because that was every day of the author's not sad life. Anyway Bellatrix raised her wand and shouted out. "Avada Kedavra," the green curse flying towards Deadpool who only had enough time to say, "hey that's the same colour as that ryan guy's costume from that shitty DC movie," before the curse hit him, killing him.
Everyone, Death Eater and Order of the chicken members alike sighed in relief, the crazy man was now dead. "no i'm not!" Deadpool called out happily. "Hey what do you mean Death Eater? Only i'm allowed to eat Death out. You bastards!" Deadpool killed all of the Death Eater's in his rage and once he was done he remembered one important detail. "Oh fuck! I forgot to get Bellatrix to give me a blowjob," he cried, it was quite pathetic. "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
So yeah I saw the Deadpool trailer and first of all FUCK YEAH CAN'T WAIT FOR IT!
So yeah im a huge DP fan...that's Deadpool not double penetration. Anyway im a huge fan and while I can't write Deadpool for shit I thought it would be fun to do this and raise awareness of the trailer and how awesome the movie's gonna be and all that shit.