General Disclaimer of Everything: I own nothing.

They reached the bottom of the steps and ran along yet another corridor, which bore a great resemblance to the one that led to Snape's dungeon at Hogwarts, with rough stone walls and torches in brackets. The doors they passed here were heavy wooden ones with iron bolts and keyholes.

"Courtroom ... Ten ... I think ... We're nearly ... Yes," Mr. Weasley stumbled to a halt outside a grimy dark door with an immense iron lock and slumped against the wall, clutching at a stitch in his chest.

"Go on," he panted, pointing his thumb at the door. "Get in there."

"Aren't - aren't you coming with -?"

"No, no, I'm not allowed. Good luck!"

Harry's heart was beating a violent tattoo against his Adam's apple. He swallowed hard, turned the heavy iron door handle and stepped inside the courtroom. Harry gasped; he could not help himself. On the other side of the doors were several people dressed in brown and grey ragged tunics. They all had greasy hair, and their faces were smeared with ash and dirt.

"Witch!" They cried out upon seeing him. "A witch?" "A witch." "Burn the witch."

"Wait…" Harry said. "What's going on?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Called a pudgy man with a bowler hat, "We're muggles."
"No you're not," Harry said, "You're Minister Fudge."

"Don't listen to the witch," Fudge called to the crowd. "He's trying to confuse us!"
Harry was grabbed, and dragged up in front of a platform where Lucius Malfoy stood, dressed in hauberk and helm, with a white and blue surcoat.

"We've found a witch." Said one 'muggle' who looked suspiciously like Madame Bones. "May we burn him?"

"How do you know he is a witch?" 'Sir' Lucius asked.

"He turned me into a newt!" Claimed a toad like woman.

Everyone gave her a flat look.

"I got better…"

"Burn him anyway!" The crowd shouted. "Burn him, burn him."

Harry sputtered.

"There are ways of telling whether he is a witch." Lucius said calmly.

"Are there? Well then tell us! Tell us. Tell us."

What followed was one of the most convoluted shows of logic that Harry had ever seen.

"But wait a moment…" Harry protested, "There's no way that I weigh the same as a duck!"