"I had to kill him to make him severe your bond. Had to rehabilitate him to make him give you up." The other Thundercracker continued to speak when she did not. "He has my willpower. But he is not my equal." He took one step closer, positioning himself in front and above her.

The cool air was sucked out of her space. Alexis' face was wet, stained with tears that had escaped after his profound admission. Was it wrong that she felt more relief than fear? The air that seemed to have been stuck in her throat and chest for over a year now began to flow through her body and soul, releasing her from self-imposed blame, and that terrible heart crushing bereavement.

"Thundercracker," she slowly said the name, thinking more of her TC than the one in front of her even as the word trickled thickly from her mouth. "Please let me return my son to his family." He could kill her. Even a year of preparation couldn't stop him. He was too powerful. He'd taken her not just away from her reality. He'd robbed her of time. An atrocity she still hadn't come to terms with and the things it meant regarding most of those she knew. Her family. Her brother. Pain rippled through her flesh, making her chest squeeze.

The Seeker in front of her froze. His optics intensified with light, momentarily blinding her. He was now venting loudly, the warmth turning into a dry heat.

Starscream had warned them, told her if she saw this Thundercracker again that she would regret much. He did not mention it would be the end of her life.

"I did not come here to kill you," he spoke several very long moments later. His optics would not leave her mouth. "I cannot. As far as your progeny, no necessary measure needs to be taken. His life is ensured."

Alexis narrowed her eyes. He saw inside her. She just didn't know to what extent. Her face flushed with what he might see now. He was making no sense though, and with the weapon that was still firmly inside his hand, she wasn't sure if he really needed to.

She flipped her staff weapon out, automatically charging it. He might kill her, but perhaps, just maybe, she could stop him, or trap him, or maybe slow him down long enough to reach...

"Starscream and Thundercracker have been dealt with." The weapon dimly glimmered as he shrugged his shoulders, his wings extending up and out at the movement, catching her undivided attention as she openly stared. Visions exploded behind her eyes of the things she had just done with TC. He'd been methodical and remote and still managed to burn her up and boil her over.

"What did you do to them?" she asked, her voice far too breathless.

At her question, he froze all over again. His optics lingering on her mouth again before they slowly traveled to where she held her weapon.

"Very soon what I did to them won't matter."

He wasn't supposed to be here. Not like this. Not after all the precautions and security measures they implemented. Not after all the traps they'd set.

"Now. You will at least look at me when I give you this gift." His weapon aimed down at her and light exploded before her eyes when she looked up. The shield Starscream had armed her staff weapon with engaged immediately, but did no good. The rays became more intense - the area swirled - her body rippled with energy and light.

When the light cleared she was no longer on board the time ship. She was on TC's.

"You have this one chance," she heard the voice of that Thundercracker, a dim version of him flickering before her, the holographic image more her size, but none the less imposing.

"What have you done?"

"I have freed me from the torment of trying to assuage you, not once but three times. You are pain and misery and emptiness; my constant failure. Now set things right, and we will never cross paths again. But know this, if we do meet again, I will not let you go, no matter how wretched you become. I will erase him from you body and soul; You will be mine."

"Where have you sent me?"

He came toward her, his hand reached out toward Alexis as if to touch her. He was trembling; his optics were filled with longing and torment. Alexis couldn't look away. He dropped his hand away from her, held his digits in his hand to stop the shaking.

"Not where, Alexis. When."

With that the holographic projection fizzled and disappeared.

Finding out the when didn't take long. Alexis found her son asleep inside the quarters TC had provided them after that time she had gone looking for Thundercracker with Rivet and found him in that destroyed moon bar with Starscream.

As usual, she had too many questions. Why did the other TC do what he did if he was just going to send her back anyway? Why did he help her at all, although perhaps that was more for him. She could have wondered how sending her back to the past was even possible, but after being locked in time for a year that was the least of her inquiries.

She had agonized over the past year what the seventeen years being away from her timestream had done. Knew, after questioning the AI on the ship what 18 years equaled in the flow of her natural time. Her family had long ago died. To survive only to be pulled away from them - to live as they died was too much to think on. So while she wanted to get off the stuck space vehicle, Alexis really didn't know what she planned to do after.

And now this. An opportunity to correct her errors - to save Thundercracker. To stop Sunstreaker. To have her family again.

Alexis should have been ecstatic, even delirious with the implications.

But she was paranoid of the "gift" given to her. Yet everything felt real. And Alexis somehow knew that it was real. Even as another screwy alteration in her life began.

Weird things happening had become the basis of her reality some time ago.

Alexis was nervous, even a little panicky. She knew what was supposed to come next. Knew where TC was going to lead her and what was going to occur.

Only not this time.

She'd been hurt, and despite the change in circumstances, the hurt had not faded. Whether he'd given up on her on purpose or through the influence of that other Thundercracker, the result had been the same. Alexis lost someone she deeply loved for the second time in her life. And dealing with that, no, surviving it the first time had been seemingly impossible, to force herself through it the second time had altered her further. Made worse by the rejections and then distant physical attention from TC.

How, no matter what she felt, or what she wanted, could she possibly let herself do that again?

Thundercracker came around the corner, his face changing dramatically when he saw her, making Alexis' stomach do that butterfly dance as she involuntarily held her breath.

A year without him. A year of seeing him no matter how she tried to avoid him later. The sting of rejection. The terror of the recurring spark pains that no matter how diminished made her angry and so very alone. She even tried to hate him, if only to stop the bitter thoughts in her head. But Alexis couldn't maintain the acrimony, not when she loved him beyond her own sanity.

"Your son is not with you?" he asked of her as if expecting Aaron to come running around the corner.

She shook her head. Tears were building in her eyes. Her mouth was quivering and her legs felt…

Oh…

Her body gave up, forcing her to fall hard to her knees as her eyes remained on TC above her. This TC wanted her. How he wanted her. Alexis could feel it in his energy that the other had suppressed from her. She felt it in his gaze.

Alexis felt weak. She felt at odds with herself. And yet she knew in the moment when his digit caressed the top of her head and softly lingered along her shoulder that she could never give him up, not when he wanted her.

All the caution she had quickly prepared herself with, all the reasons why not. Everything she had planned before seeing him again; she'd been so stupid.

Alexis dried her eyes with her sleeve. Her gaze rising to meet his waiting optics. An emotion of old strengthened within her, calming her. Maybe this time she could get things right. Her hatred for that other Thundercracker and all that he'd done diminished just slightly.

"Will you help me, TC?"

"Anything. Name it," was his immediate response.

"Help me stop Sunstreaker?"

"I have searched but failed to find the…"

"I know where he is. I know what we need to do."

"Now?" he asked of her, his gaze moved down her body, lifting back up to where her hand gripped the top of his digit. He wasn't bonded to her yet, and still she felt him, the warmth of his energy promising things that both frightened and enticed her.

Alexis missed what had been between them, even while knowing what it'd mean if she allowed such closeness between them again. There would be pain. There'd be eventual tragedy. They'd hurt each other. His trinemates would see her. Starscream would… Being pushed away by TC for over a year had made her pessimistic and too cautious; her heart could only endure so many cracks.

"We don't have much time. We need to contact Starscream." Alexis forced herself to focus on what needed to be done. She remembered what Starscream had once told her, knew exactly how to stop Sunstreaker before he got back to the safety of his planet.

"Starscream?" he repeated back with incredulity, his face hardening. "Why?"

"Because we need his help."

"Starscream doesn't help anyone but himself."

"He will help you if you give him something he wants."

"He cannot have you," TC answered, realizing after he finished speaking what he had said without filters. His face softened all over again. She leaned into his touch, her mouth light against his metal flesh. Her stomach coiled with her hidden fears, but she pushed them down and forced herself to rally.

If they did this right, it meant everything they had endured and gone through - TC tortured by Sunstreaker, traveling through different universes, becoming other thems - it would be erased. As would be that year of hell on the ship with no time and no TC.

She'd also have her family again.

Her heart hurt, the nearness of Thundercracker, the idea of what they could accomplish, they were far too empowering; Alexis felt dizzy. But let them stop Sunstreaker, then she would figure out her feelings.

TC helped her stand to her feet, but didn't let go of her. His digit went slowly down her face, brushing along the top of her breast where her heart resided before rising back up to linger on her mouth. His optics burned, his chassis lit up along the edges as his spark pounded so harshly that she felt it reverberate beneath her feet.

He leaned farther down, then scooped her up without warning, settling her on his shoulder along his wingseam.

Alexis remembered everything she had gone through, and yet a haziness was settling over her thoughts that disturbed her. So Alexis opened her mouth. She told TC what she didn't want to forget, everything that felt important and necessary.

He listened to her. He believed her.

And when he contacted Starscream, TC did what he had to in order to ensure a meeting between them. She found herself looking forward to seeing the Seeker again. But the Starscream she had gotten to know and sometimes even like, who was capable of comfort and even kindness – he was gone. Alexis would never know him again.

They had just enough time to wait for Rivet to come back to watch Aaron. She didn't want to leave her son, but she wasn't willing to put him in the line of possible danger either.

Now inside of TC, racing through the empty space toward the meeting place Starscream had arranged Alexis was able to close her eyes, and soak him inside of her. But her eyes didn't stay closed long. Alexis had to look at him, had to reassure herself that he was there and she was with him and that he wanted to be with her.

She had mourned for him for so long, ached for him even longer. Her heart knew what it wanted, her mind could not separate the past (that was now the future) with this far too real present (which had been her past).

If she wasn't accustomed to such disarray, Alexis would have been bewildered.

Two days later the displacer was destroyed, Sunstreaker was going to be in custody with the Autobots, and Alexis was alone on an overpass on an unfamiliar space port, one she knew that had been destroyed during that other TC's invasion – an invasion that she knew would no longer occur.

Alexis wasn't as confused about all that she had gone through, but it would take time - real moving and changing time for her to come to terms with everything.

Her family was alive. Her son was safe. Her mind was her own and she didn't have to be without.

The other Thundercracker hadn't contacted her again, and she had altered her future.

Things were and should have been fantastic.

Alexis had been freed from so many things, been given back all that she'd been missing, all that she'd lost.

Things weren't fantastic. They were unbelievable. As if one of those dreams of fantasy her mind would offer her during her universal travels. But the unbelievable was becoming more real. The real was becoming the truth.

"Here you are." She felt Starscream before she heard him. He came behind her, settling above her and to the side. "It is time you and I spoke," he said.

The last time she'd seen him before this time was… was when she found Thundercracker in that destroyed bar. Which felt like too many lifetimes ago. She couldn't wait till she caught up with time, till her mind allowed her to see the now and not the back then or what had been.

She turned around and looked up at him.

"Okay," she said softly, strangely curious about what he'd say. He'd helped them though, he got them what they needed to capture Sunstreaker, with much coercion from TC, but he'd assisted just the same.

"I remember. Everything," he spoke in a tight whisper. His sharp optics were on her, watching her reaction with a highly felt focus. "I know you remember as I. My mental preparation on the Un'ron barge protected me from being reset, but why - why do you recall as well?"

Alexis told him. There was no reason not to. He watched her, restlessly listening to all that she had to say.

"Then this is because of you. Why does that not surprise me?" His tone was not accusatory, but riddled with dark humor.

"Would you rather..."

"No."

"Then you…"

"Will do everything as I should have the first time. Only…" He leaned down toward her, his hand reaching out, one of his digits touching the back of her shoulder and stilling along her back.

"Come with me," he finished. His optics were brightly planted on her. He was determined. Starscream was serious. "Thundercracker has proved himself insufficient. Before and again." His face darkened. He frowned. "I will not pressure you. Let things happen between us. I can be your," he paused as if the next word was perverse, "friend. I will be your…"

Alexis backed away, making his finger drag off her body.

"I'm glad you know Starscream, but…"

He scoffed loudly, more aggravated them upset. He'd been expecting this from her. "He will disappoint you. Do what you need to, but so will I. And when he proves himself unworthy this time - this last time, I will break your tie to him and take what he will make lawfully mine through his neglect of you… but first…"

He took a step back. The human version of Starscream stepped forward with purpose. He pressed her against the overpass bars, his mouth moving against her own so suddenly that he took her air away. His lips were moist. His breath was hot. He pulled away when she started to draw backwards.

"Now I know," he told her, lavender eyes sparkling. "Know I will remember," he added as if a promise.

"You are very quiet, Alexis," Thundercracker spoke to her, his tone so soft that it tore her away from where her thoughts had been. The last two days had been busy, and odd, and strangely wonderful.

They had left the space port a good hour ago after Thundercracker had passed Sunstreaker off to the Autobot security team with no difficulties.

Things felt more real now than they had been. Starscream admitting that he remembered as she did made things more cemented somehow. And yet knowing what he knew, he had the same chance as her. He could change things as she had, only she knew Starscream's aspirations would be far more greedy than hers. He would not let this opportunity go to waste. Alexis knew that without a doubt.

And yet he left, leaving her the opportunity to choose for herself. Showing her something of him that she rarely saw, but always proved to affect her. Making her think…

"Alexis?" Thundercracker spoke her name again, the inflections leaving him vulnerable as he sought her attention.

"I'm sorry," she apologized. She was blushing again. Alexis couldn't seem to stop. He was hot, freely letting his energy flow inside his cockpit, making her skin heat and her breath stick. Alexis' mind raced with bright vivid images of him, of her, of a time when it had been them. "There is just so much… so much that has happened, but that hasn't happened. So much that seems so real, but isn't anymore. How am I still sane?"

"You are strong. In time…"

She huffed, her mouth turning downwards. Alexis shifted in the seat. "Please don't speak to me of time. Just tell me that I am here, that I am not going anywhere, and that no matter what I will always be me."

"You are here with me. You will always be you, no matter how much you might change, my Alexis. But I cannot predict your future movements." His vocals lowered in tone, suddenly deeply emotional, letting her hear how disturbed he was. "I know where I want you to be."

"I love you, Thundercracker," she told him with purpose. He trembled from the words. But she wasn't done. "I know you love me, too. But love, it hurts. It hurts more than hate, more than the loss from death. More than those death defying spark pains when we separated." He couldn't have known about all that she was talking about, but that didn't stop her from speaking to him as if he did. "Reality kept us apart. Time separated us. What power must we possess to remain together? What if we just weren't meant to…"

TC cut her words off. "Love may weaken, but it gives purpose like no other. And how I feel about you, Alexis, is deeper than love, more profound than the greatest understanding. When I am with you, things feel real, feel worthwhile."

Alexis' heart squeezed hard. Her senses seemed to momentarily blink off, leaving only the echo of his words in her head. But she couldn't linger on what he said, even if she was already crumbling within. "I should leave," she spoke with a brutal honesty that made her words quaver.

"You should." TC surprised her when he agreed. "But you won't."

Her eyes narrowed. The pounding under her rib cage became more intense. "How can you possibly know that?"

"No matter what you've gone through, one thing will never change," he continued when she said nothing. "You don't give up on what matters. And I, Alexis, whether pain or death, separation or the unknown… matter."

His words drove her into stunned silence for several long moments. He'd always been confident, but with her, right then, he'd never seemed more convinced.

"I don't remember you being so sure of yourself with me back during this time."

"Confirmation is the ultimate motivator. And…"

"And?"

"You didn't tell me what you went through to leave me. You told me to equip me. To prepare me. To keep me. And you do plan to keep me, Alexis, do you not?" His vocals rumbled, more an affirmation than a question.

Thundercracker didn't know quite yet how the deep embers of his tone could affect her. How seated inside his cockpit seemed to make every thing he said physically intimate. Her reply was a quiet one, tainted with a terrible raw yearning. She had to force herself not to squirm. "I could never, no matter what doubts I have, not be with you." She paused, catching her breath. Alexis looked outside at the darkness of space before her attention turned back to his instrument panel. "I just want you to… want me," she told him. What had once been so simple was now an embittered hope.

TC laughed at that, the mirth grinding through his flesh and tickling along her own skin, making the sadness that had followed her disclosure mutate into an altogether different sensation. "Can't you feel my want of you?"

Her cheeks flushed. She loudly drew in a tight ball of uncomfortable air. Her lungs burned when she forgot to exhale. He was definitely the TC she dreamed of, his voice, his energy, the spine-tingling forthrightness. And yet Alexis' mind was thinking about the older unreachable TC, the one she'd allowed herself to have not out of desperation really, but from the need to remember this one.

"Let me show you." Thundercracker's tone was passionate yet heavy, his offer filled with assurance and a hint of skin itching agony.

If he showed her though, they'd be tied together once again, with everything both good and miserable that came with it.

She had doubts; Alexis was scared.

But her warped reality was now made up of certain simple facts: She'd lost her family. She got them back. And she'd fight anyone that tried to take them away from her again. She trusted and believed in her God. She wasn't afraid of death but the possibility of living without it. She still hated Sunstreaker for what he'd done, even if now, he hadn't actually perpetrated such evils.

And she wanted to be with TC despite what she'd been through, or what might occur, no matter how long.

Alexis would continue to have doubts about the opportunity given to her, but she was going to make the most of it the only way she could... being with Thundercracker - breaking the firm grip of their reality - and living between the soft moments of truth.

"Let me show you," Alexis finally answered him.

And with those words their new future began together.

AN: So yeah, I am not dead... I didn't mean to take this long - this story was written up for so long, just so much going on this past year that I haven't been able to find that space in my head to get it up and finished. I decided to shorten it - a lot. It was either that, or not finish it at all, and to me that is unacceptable. Nothing worse than an unfinished story or TV series. I may come back to write some short stories as inspiration hits me, and I've longed to write my own original story, but I am way busier than I have ever been in my life, and seem to have more responsibilities than ever. Anyway, I want to thank you for reading my story and I highly appreciate those of you who took the time to leave a comment throughout the years. Stay safe, find some peace, and don't forget to enjoy life when you can, even in the small things. ~shortlived out