Thanks to Gin and XV for their great help and ideas.
Thanks to Jazwriter for her help in the original Cats? I can't think of one without the other. You are all amazing writers and I am so thrilled to have you in my corner.
Wow I can't believe this story is done!
It is not my best story-Hopefully that is yet to come.
It is not my favorite story-Groves of Sintar will always have that spot.
I will tell you that this story was the biggest challenge and most fun of any of the rest. It was supposed to be a one shot for Lara (yes the real Lara aka XV) about Andy getting caught writing fan fiction. It became a parody of my own story, then of the fan fiction writing process and fan fiction itself. Thanks to all the readers who's comments kept me excited and who supplied some great ideas (helping with the JEHC debacle and the phrase 'verbal tic' and more). Thanks to the authors who allowed me to give their noses a little tweak in chapter 15. You are great sports! I don't usually go on like this but today I am excited to post the final product! Enjoy (I hope)!
Andy let herself in to the town house and put the book on the hall table as she always did. Then she opened the closet door and put the dry cleaning away exactly as she had done for the past two years. What was new was Miranda standing at the bottom of the steps watching her. When Andy saw her standing there she lashed out. "It's done, your dry cleaning is here, your book is here and now I don't work for you anymore." Tears began falling down her face which was growing red with anguish.
Miranda put her hand on Andy's cheek and wiped a tear from it.
"Andrea this is not an ending, it's a new beginning. Why are you crying?"
"It's the last thing," Andy choked out in response. "This is the last time."
Miranda turned Andy to her and pulled her into a hug.
"Andrea please tell me you are not crying over my dry-cleaning delivery."
"It's just I won't be doing it anymore, someone else will, not me, someone else."
Miranda rubbed Andy's back gently and chuckled. "You are aware that my dry cleaner's shop is half way between here and your new office at Rolling Stone, are you not?"
Andy shook her head no and took a sharp breath as the movement caused her face to rub against Miranda's neck.
"If it would make you feel better you can pick up my laundry anytime you want."
"Really?" Andrea said winsomely, "Really I can?"
Miranda's lips were twitching as she responded. "Of course you can Darling, you can even walk the dog if you want to."
Andy pulled her head away from Miranda's shoulder, "Thank you!" she said enthusiastically while gazing at Miranda adoringly.
It was only a second before Andy realized the absurdity of the conversation. The women locked eyes and burst into laughter. Their arms wrapped around each other were the only thing keeping them upright as they shook with soul cleansing mirth.
"I guess that was kind of silly," Andy said shyly.
"Mmmm," Miranda responded holding Andy close to her.
"You called me Darling."
"I would do it, you know. If it meant seeing you every day I would pick up your dry-cleaning or anything else."
Miranda softly kissed Andy on her cheek and pulled out of her arms. "Come Darling, let's go to my study. I think we have a lot to talk about."
As they sat together on the couch Miranda noticed the folder in Andrea's hand. "Ah, the final chapter."
Andrea growled, "The stupid chapter you made me write and then fired me for it."
Miranda faked a look of surprise. "I didn't fire you, you quit."
Andrea huffed and crossed her arms.
"Andrea," Miranda put her hand on the younger woman's leg and spoke more gently. "It was clear to me when I came across the first chapter that you could no longer work for me."
"Why? I acted appropriately. You could have just ignored it, nothing had to change."
"Of course it did Darling, how could I ignore how you felt once I knew it matched how I felt?"
Andrea's frown turned back in to a gentle smile and she asked shyly ."So you have been flirting with me all month? It wasn't my imagination?"
Miranda's hand on Andrea's leg began to move in gentle circles, "Not your imagination, no."
Andy held up the folder, "Did you umm like it?" Her face turned bright red in embarrassment.
"Didn't you look at my edits?"
Andy looked down at her hands and shook her head no.
"Ah well if you had you would know there aren't any." At Andy's quizzical look she continued, "I didn't read it."
"What?" Andy jumped to her feet. "You didn't read it?" She started pacing. "I went mad trying to write something that I was willing to turn in." She threw her hands in the air, "You kept it for a whole week and didn't read it?" Her voice was getting squeaky, "I went crazy for a whole week wondering what you thought."
"And yet," Miranda interrupted her, "once you had it you never bothered to check." She held out her hands to Andy, who begrudgingly stepped closer and took them.
"Andrea, Darling, I couldn't possibly read it." She squeezed Andrea's hands.
"Because if things go as I hope I don't want to have some kind of script in my head. I want us to be naturally us."
Andy was completely overwhelmed by all of her emotions. She had never gone from so low to so high and back again in such a short span of time. She looked into Miranda's eyes shyly, her heart pounding. "So you want to…" She stopped not sure how to continue the sentence.
"Mmm," Miranda replied as she pulled Andy in closer. She let go of the younger woman's hands and placed her hands on Andy's hips pulling her until she was standing between Miranda's legs. "I do, but if you weren't in accord I didn't want to have your story in my head. Images of what it would be like to love you, when I couldn't, would be torture."
"I am," Andy nodded her head enthusiastically, "I am in accord."
Miranda used her hands on Andy's hips to turn her sideways and pull her on to her left leg. Andy's right arm automatically went around Miranda's shoulder and the women looked in to each other's eyes. Andy leaned in for a kiss, but Miranda put her hand up to stop her. She took Andy's free hand in hers and then kissed it.
"If we do this you must be sure. I am too old to hide or play games." Miranda took a deep shuddering breath and continued, "In the words of your new boss, it's going to be a shit storm!"
"Wait! What! You told him?" Andrea responded in shock.
"He is a dear friend, I didn't have to tell him" Miranda's face went blank when she continued. "If this bothers you, him knowing, imagine how you will feel about people you are close to, your parents for example."
Andy recognized Miranda's lack of expression as a way of hiding her fear. "My parents are the ones who told me I felt this way. Something about punching my brother when he called you the Ice Queen gave it away." She chuckled, "That doesn't mean they love the idea, but they do love me so it will be ok." Andy kissed Miranda on her forehead. "As for the rest of the world I think NaaNaaNee BooBoo seems about right."
"And when they call you a gold digger or imply that you are evidence of my midlife crisis? What then?"
"Miranda there are only three people whose thoughts on this I care about." She kissed Miranda's cheek. "You and your girls are the only ones that matter, everyone else can kiss my ass."
"Well, no Andrea, actually they can't. That will be part of the deal no one else kisses that lovely ass." Miranda's face relaxed a little. "Cassidy and Caroline have indicated that you would be worth the press coverage, so I guess that's one obstacle down."
"Are there others? Obstacles I mean."
"You need to be sure Andrea, absolutely sure. If you are not fully invested, if it doesn't work, my career and my family will survive, but I'm not sure I will. If we stop now it will hurt. If we continue and sometime down the road you trade me in for a younger model it will gut me I know it will." She gripped Andy's hand tightly. "I am twenty-years older than you. Think about what you are signing up for, when you are fifty I'll be seventy. I am a woman who is constantly under fire and mocked by the tabloids. You worked for me, I am still that person no matter who I am with romantically. And don't get me started on the two scamps that are part of the Priestly package."
"You are beautiful and brilliant, my knees go weak when you walk into a room. I have never seen a model, younger or otherwise, that could do that! I don't care about the tabloids and as for the scamps… they're into fan fiction. It's a match made in heaven."
Andy leaned in hovering over Miranda's lips giving her time to be sure. Miranda rolled her eyes at Andy's gentle approach and muttered, "Please take your time, you know how that thrills me." With her free hand on the back of Andy's head Miranda pulled her in for their first kiss.
Miranda's stomach trembled as she pulled Andrea in for their first kiss and their second kiss, it was still trembling at kiss number four but because her heart was beating so hard she barely noticed. After what seemed like a month of foreplay Miranda wasn't in a 'take it slow' kind of mood. She was in a 'take it now' kind of mood. Miranda nudged Andrea from her lap and pulled her down to the floor. She straddled the younger woman and with one hand held her wrists above her head. Spurred on by Andrea's moans Miranda rocked her pelvis, she leaned forward and growled in her ear while pushing Andrea's wrists more firmly against the floor. "Do not move these." The younger woman nodded her head in agreement.
"Good, Good girl," Miranda said and she began to unbutton Andrea's shirt it seemed it only took an instant for her to be completely undressed but to Miranda it seemed to take forever. Even in her frenzy she couldn't force herself to damage the clothing so each button was an obstical to be overcome. Once she reached her goal she took a moment to admire the beauty that is her lover and then proceeded to use her hands and tongue and lips to thoroughly explore every inch of her.
Miranda gazed at the vision in her bed. After practically feasting on the young woman she had brought her upstairs expecting to continue. She hadn't even gotten her clothes off before Andrea was sound asleep. 'Well, I guess I should take it a little slower next time.' She thought to herself, she wasn't sure if she was feeling smug that she had the stamina to tire her new lover out or annoyed that she would be going to sleep unsatisfied.
Andy felt the mattress move and opened her eyes. She watched as Miranda gracefully got back in bed holding a cup of coffee in one hand and a familiar manilla envelope in the other. "Hi," she said smiling sleepily, "is it time to get up?"
"No Darling, I thought we could have some coffee and rest in."
"Oh ok," Andy said hesitantly. She watched Miranda pull chapter three of 'Cats? Really?' out of its folder.
"Umm you're going to read that now?"
"I thought it would be interesting, do you have an issue with that?"
"I just…" Andy blushed and continued shyly, "I just didn't think I would be with you while you read it. It's kind of intimidating."
Miranda looked at her with eyebrows raised, "After everything we actually did last night you are intimidated by reading about something we didn't do."
"Actually, I don't really remember doing anything last night." She blushed deep red and continued, "Well except… well you know…"
Miranda's voice came out in a low sexy growl, "Except coming you mean? You must remember experiencing several orgasms, do you not?"
"Oh, God," Andy said in a squeaky voice while covering her face and peeking through her fingers.
"So, let's see what we have here." Miranda seemed to be grinning at Andy's discomfort. After a few moments she was using a voice filled with indignation to read from the story. "Her familiar gray hair bobbing between her legs!" She looked at Andy outraged. "That is rather crass Andrea, really!" She scratched out the offending sentence and tapped her pen against her lips contemplating the paragraph. "Hmm," Andy heard her mumbling as she wrote, "Iconic hair….pleasuring her-"
Andy sat up annoyed, "Well it's not that easy you know. It is not that easy to write this when you have never done it…" Her eyes widened at the shocked look on Miranda's face. "With you, I mean, never done it with you."
"Andrea," Miranda said in a low voice, "are you telling me that this was your first time?"
"Of course not!" Andy said while looking around wildly for a place to hide where she could die in peace.
"Andrea, have you ever been with a woman before?" Miranda's voice was unnaturally level.
Andy shook her head no.
Miranda groaned. "It was your first time and you let me take you on my study floor!" Miranda's voice went up in decibels with each word. "I positively ravished you on the floor, the floor Andrea!"
"I liked it-" Andrea tried to break in to Miranda's tirade.
"No, no you will forget this ever happened." She spoke to Andrea menacingly. "You. Will. Forget. This."
Andrea's heart seemed to stop beating, "But…but"
"Get up, now, get up!" Andy slid out of bed. "I'll call Roy to take you home." Miranda put her hand to her head. "Forget this happened."
"Why," Andy asked hardly able to talk as tears fell down her cheeks. "I thought you cared for me. I thought.…" She could no longer speak through her tears.
Miranda looked at Andy as if she hadn't seen her. Apparently she had gotten so wrapped up in her rant she didn't realize how she sounded. "Roy will drop you off at your home," she put her hand up to silence Andy's coming response. "And then he will return this evening to retrieve you. We will go out and have a lovely dinner and then, if you would like, we can come back here."
"You are confusing me," Andy said, her face wet with tears. She was no longer crying but her voice was low and scratchy. "What do you want?"
"I want a do over! You are far too precious to have your first time be a ravishing on the study floor."
Andy's face broke into a smile. "But I liked it," Andy said lowly while moving seductively towards her distressed lover. "I really, really liked it." Her anguished expression replaced by a feral smile.
Miranda took a step back, "Well, yes, I see…"
"I am glad you see, because I want to see. There were lots of things I didn't see last night."
"Andrea, really we should stop."
"No Miranda we should start." She pulled the tie on Miranda's robe and pushed her gently to the bed.
Andy cringed when she heard the familiar sound of her wife's Prada heels coming down the hallway. "Crap," She said to herself and tried to type faster.
"Andrea, I can't believe you are still working on that article! We leave for the Met in a half hour."
The guilty look on Andy's face must have given her away because Miranda glared at her and asked, "That is not an article for work is it?"
Andy looked up and almost couldn't respond. Miranda was absolutely beautiful in a black Valentino shoulder-less floor length dress. "God you're lovely!" She said in awe.
"Flattery will get you nowhere, you need to get ready."
"Yup, no worries, I just need to type this last little bit and then send it to Lara. I'll be ready in no time."
"And what exactly will I tell people when they notice I am late?" Andrea arched a brow and stared at her. "Fine, when I am later than usual, shall I tell them that my wife got bitten by a plot bunny?"
"Good one," Andy said amused, she hit send and jumped up off the bed. "See, done, I can do my makeup in the car."
Miranda rolled her eyes and watched Andy get ready while mumbling to herself. "Sorry Irv had to stop at the Doctor and see if the scenario rabbit died." She snorted at her own joke imagining what Page Six would do with that.
Once in the car Andy finished her makeup. Only a moment later her phone alerted her to a text. She grinned happily when she read it.
"Let me guess," Miranda said dryly, "Lara?"
"No," Andy chuckled, "It's Jane and she's pissed. Lara hit her head when she fell over laughing, again."
"We should send that girl a helmet," Miranda said in exasperation. She rested her head on the back of her seat and looked heavenward. With passion in her voice she prayed, "Dear Lord save us all from fan fiction."