It has been a month since adoption and she and Brandon each lived their personal hell. She tried to be included in family activities. Her moms were so proud when she got her new documents. Moms offered to take them to special dinner at the nice restaurant to celebrate, promised another camping trip, all they could just to show how happy they were because it was all official and finally over. Callie was happy she had a family, but dead inside since she didn't have Brandon. He was now her brother, all the feelings they had now were even more forbidden and something everyone would judge. As much as she tried to participate in family things, that much Brandon tried to avoid any family activity. He spent most of the time either in his room or somewhere with Matt. He was the only person Brandon confided at. Matt felt bad for Brandon and he was there for him for anything he needed. They played together and Brandon wrote a lot of music, but as usual, all of his music was inspired by his '' sister'' and the love he felt for her. He would never be able to see her as his sister. He would never be able to stop loving her and it would never stop hurting.
Senior year started and he counted the minutes until he could leave their home and get away from the woman he loves. She started dating. She met some guy at the center where foster kids gathered and he finally got her to go out with him. She used him as a crutch to try to get Brandon out of her system, but the closer she got with her boyfriend, more of Brandon she felt inside. But she had to make sure she forgets him. He was her brother. She couldn't love him… He became even more distant from everyone. Lena and Stef felt so powerless and didn't know what to do. He was silent. Only way he ''spoke'' was his music. He wrote and he played very sad and depressing music. Lena, Stef and Mike tried to get him to open up, but it didn't work. Lena started getting notes form his teachers that something was happening. His GPA didn't drop, but it was clear he was not ok. Stef even took him to psychologist who said that he is really depressed, but that he didn't speak of anything. He spent four sessions just sitting there and sometimes just saying that he doesn't belong there. For Christmas, Callie's boyfriend came to dinner. She didn't invite him… Stef and Lena did. Callie felt very uncomfortable sitting there with him and Brandon at the same table. He looked broken and she was heartbroken for him. When Steven left, Callie went to her and Mariana's room and sat on her bed. She was saw Brandon sitting outside with a notebook and pen. He was writing something. At two in the morning he woke her up. He showed her to be silent and to follow him. She got out of the room and followed him to his room.
''What is it?''
''Your Christmas present…''
He gave her a notebook.
''Don't open it yet…''
''When should I open it?''
He kissed her… She kissed him back but soon she realized what they were doing…
''I know… But… just this once… I promise… Just one more time…I promise, I will never again ask it from you…''
''Everyone will wake up…''
''No, they will not… They will sleep, I promise…''
''If we get caught…''
''No one will know… I promise …''
His broken look and her need for him got her to cross the line with Brandon one more time. She put the notebook on the floor and took off his shirt…She kissed his neck, his chest and touched every part of his skin her hands could reach. He closed his eyes and let her take charge. That was the least he could do for her. She made love to the boy she loved, now her brother and finally felt so alive… He repeated so many times how much he loved her and asked her never to forget it…
''You are my everything…I will always love you…''
He kissed her and held her body close to his, like he was trying to melt her into him.
He continued to kiss her and show her how much she was loved and missed. She was scared of never feeling this good ever again. She was with him until seven in the morning. She knew her moms sometimes woke up early and she didn't want anyone to know where she was. It was better for this to stay their secret…like the last time… She left his room few minutes before everyone woke up… When she turned to say good bye, she saw something she haven's seen in months… Brandon was smiling… He mouthed that he loved her and smiled again. She hid the notebook and sat on her bed. What did she do? How will she ever again see him as her brother? She knew it was a mistake, but she wanted him so much… Two hours later, Mariana woke up and dragged her downstairs. Steff, Lena, Jude and Jesus were at the table waiting for the breakfast… She looked around… Brandon was missing…
Stef rolled her eyes…
''You know him, he barely does anything with us…''
''I know, but it's Christmas.''
Jude god up.
''I'll get him…''
Lena smiled at him…
''Thank you love…''
I took a bight of my sandwich when I heard Jude screaming….
''Moms! Moms! He is not breathing….''
We all rushed upstairs. Jute was standing over Brandon's lifeless body… Pail, frozen and scared…
''Call the ambulance Lena!''
Lena called the ambulance and Stef tried to revive him… But it was too late… Brandon was dead… Stef tried to get all of them out of the room, but Callie in one place, not able to move. She covered her face with her hands and started crying…
''It's all my fault…''
''No, love… It's not…''
''Yes it is… I did this…''
''No, he did it…''
Callie got to his bed and took his hand…
''I am sorry… I am so sorry… I love you, please don't go… Please come back… I'll do anything for you to come back… I promise, no more hiding… Please B, come back to me…''
She took him in her arms and held him. She stroked his face, his hair… he was still warm…
''Please… I'll do anything… I'll call Robert. He has a good lawyer… She will fix it all… and we will get married at that small church you liked on my eighteenth birthday… I promise… Just come back… Don't do this to me…''
Entire family stood at the door frozen with the sight… Was really the love he felt for her cause of it all? Would have things been different if Stef backed off and let Callie live with Robert? Ambulance came and Jesus had to move Callie from Brandon's body. They couldn't do anything. They tried and then made sad faces telling them there is nothing they could do… Callie felt like she was going to faint. Jesus took her to her room and put her to bed. Brandon's body was taken away and everyone in the house was in shock… Steff called Mike who came right away. AJ was driving because Mike couldn't. He was too broken to do anything. Lena and the kids informed the rest of the family and friends. People started gathering and Mariana went upstairs to check on Callie. She was still sitting in the corner of her bed with her knees pressed against her chest…
''Hey, people are coming… Let's get you dressed…''
''I can't go there…''
''You have to…''
''I can't face them all…''
''Mariana, I did it…''
''All of this… It's my fault he is dead….If I didn't get adopted, none of this would have happened…''
''You would have lived with Robert…''
''And he would be alive!''
''You don't know that…''
''Because we would have been together…''
''Yes, we would have stopped hiding from everyone…''
''You were dating?''
''You loved him?''
''I don't get it…''
''I love him…''
Mariana hugged her and held her for few minutes. She finally got Callie out of bed and dressed her in dress she had on Winter formal. Callie smiled…
''I had this dress when I lied to him that I don't love him and I slept with Wyatt… Vicco beat him that night…''
''Is there any black dress you don't have memory in?''
''No, but this is adequate… I rejected him and he got hurt…''
Callie got downstairs and there were a lot of friends and the family. She mingled for few minutes and went outside. AJ found her sitting under the tree.
He was ready to ask her a question, but she interrupted it…
''I don't want to talk…''
''Ok… What do you want to do?''
''Curl in by bed and just disappear…''
''You can't do that…''
''It's my fault…''
''No, it's not…''
''I should have known…''
''That he would do something like this… He was so happy this morning when he came to wake me up…''
''You saw him before he did it?''
''Yes, I spent the night with him…''
''When you say you spent the night….''
''I had sex with him…''
She looked at him waiting for some more comments.
''I always felt there was something between two of you…''
''It was not something…. It was everything…''
She spent some more time there after AJ left. She was in her warm coat and she didn't even feel the cold. She was already too cold inside to feel it on the outside. Rita joined her.
''Are you ok?''
''Stef told me what happened….''
Callie looked at her…
''Be honest Callie… Was it just a kiss after the benefit?''
''At that moment, yes… We worked so hard to forget about each other…To kill our love and it ended up killing him… I ended up killing him…''
''Oh, my sweet girl…''
Rita hugged her and held her while she was crying.
''I could have stopped it…''
''By staying a bit longer… I should have known something was not right… He was smiling… He was happy…''
''You saw him?''
''I spent the night with him… He asked me to do it for the last time…And it was last time…''
Even Rita was crying now.
Callie got off the stairs and entered the house. She climbed the stairs and went to her room. She took the notebook and took it to his room. She got dressed in his pajamas and got into his bed. It all smelled of her perfume and his body spray… It was perfect mixture of two of them… She settled into his bed and opened the notebook. First like got her to choke… She realized it was about them… Turning pages, there were their messages, notes they passed in class, pictures, drawings, candy wrappers… Their entire story was written inside of this notebook.
''To my love when I'm gone.''
She opened the book and started reading. The further she got, less willing to live she was… She opened his secret drawer and took the same pills he took. He left her instruction of what he would do and how would he do it. She followed the same procedure he did… She went and said good bye to her moms and siblings and came back to his room. She had no hesitation. She took the pills and fell asleep with his name on her lips… Following morning they found her dead in his room… She left the notebook close to her and there was a note on the nightstand...
''We couldn't be together in life… Maybe we would have second chance in death… I am sorry…
Love you all C''
That left a family in shock and two mothers who buried their two children in the same grave. Stef and Lena spent a lot of time wondering how was possible that none of them noticed any of the things written in that notebook? They kept it as a testament of their children's love they couldn't honor in life, but now they honored it in their death.