Raven Slonkburry and Robin Hood have a teensy weensy Disagreement Regarding the Color Green
It was a hot summer day in the village of Nottinghamshire. The sun beamed down on the people like they were turkeys in a lit oven. I, Raven Slonkburry of Nottingham, was walking through the main square on my way to Sherwood Forest. Sherwood Forest is said to be incredibly beautiful at this time in summer, and I just had to see for myself.
When I finally got to the forest, it was strangely quiet. I stopped and tried to listen for any sound—nothing. I've been by the forest many times before, while on my way to events, markets, and parties, but I always heard laughter or singing, or at least the birds and squirrels. There was also almost always somebody taking an afternoon stroll. Today, there was no one and nothing. I walked farther into the never ending woods, hoping to hear just the faintest sound. All remained silent. I tried to convince myself that it was nothing, and I continued my summer walk.
I walked for about twenty minutes before, "BOO!" The word stung my ears and shook the trees. "Wuzzup? Got any cash on ya', cuz, like dat would be cool, yo." I couldn't believe what I saw, and I still don't. It was a tall man with curly red hair that matched his short beard. His outfit was almost entirely one color—a sickly shade of Lincoln green.
"Oh my, what a totally gross color you're wearing!" I said in dismay. "It looks like the forest threw up on you!"
"Hey! This is a classic color that many hunters and archers wear. What do you have against it?" the man replied.
"It is one of the most horrific colors known to man or beast. I led a protest two years ago that was supposed to banish the use of this specific color. I thought they passed the law?" The man looked highly disturbed.
"They did pass the law. I wear the color in protest of the protest. This has been my favorite color since I was a little laddie (who likes berries and cream)," he looked annoyed. "Now let's get back to business. I am Robin Hood of Sherwood Forest; how much money do you carry?"
I looked at him and said, "I don't just bring money around wherever I go! That would make me an easy target for bandits. I may be slow but I ain't dumb." Clearly frustrated and annoyed, he turned to leave. At that moment it struck me, "STOP! You're wearing that color illegally. That makes you an outlaw!"
He turned back with a deadly glare in his eyes. "It took you long enough to realize that! I really thought you would care more about your own law. Did you know that you are pretty much the only one who wanted this law to pass? Well, it's true! I am only one of over a hundred men wearing green right now, and you can't do anything about it!" At that, he ran like a little kid into the trees. I was so angry. I couldn't believe my eyes or ears. After that, he became my mortal enemy.