A/N: The first of a two part thing. This was written for the wrestling kink meme thing and hopefully you all enjoy it.
Dean couldn't pinpoint the moment where he went numb. Maybe it had been in the midst of getting beaten with the chair. Or maybe it had been once they got backstage, and the full magnitude of the betrayal started to set in. He didn't know. He couldn't bring himself to care. Numbness was good. It meant he didn't feel how much his back hurt. It meant he didn't have to feel the shattered remains of his heart trying to keep beating inside his chest. How could he have not seen it coming? That was supposed to be his thing. He was the paranoid one who knew that everyone was going to leave him in the end. He was the one who either made a point to leave first, or made a person to drive the other person away on his own terms. Yet this time he had thought it would be different. He thought he had finally found something with Seth and Roman that he hadn't had before. Safety, security, family...and now that was all gone. Seth had taken it all and destroyed it completely. And Dean had no idea what had sparked it. They had all been getting along again. They had been winning the war against Evolution. At least Dean thought they had been winning. Clearly he had been wrong though. They had lost. They had lost in the worst way possible.
The door shutting behind him snapped him out of his thoughts. He and Roman were back in their hotel room. He didn't even really remember the car ride back here. It had passed in a silent, dazed blur. He watched Roman stiffly make his way over to the bed. The look on his face pierced Dean's numbness and made him hurt all over again. Roman was hurting just like he was, but there was much more confusion on his end than Dean's. He wasn't used to this. People didn't up and leave him like they did Dean. He wasn't the type to get knife after knife plunged into his back. It wasn't fair that he was being subjected to it now. He was good. In a business of shady and fucked up people, Roman was one of the good ones. That type of thing normally didn't matter much to Dean, but it did now. He wanted Roman to stay as he was, and not get chewed up and spit out and ruined.
"Fuck," Roman mumbled as he sat down on the bed. He ran a hand through his hair, a heavy sigh escaping him. Dean kept his distance, not sure what to do. He wanted to make Roman feel better, but there was nothing he could say or do. He was useless with the comforting thing on a good day. He sure as fuck couldn't do it now. And he was more than afraid of fucking it up now. One wrong move and Roman would realize he was useless to keep around and just split. Or he would prove himself to be a snake like Seth, and Roman would leave to protect himself. The thought scared the shit out of him. That wasn't what he wanted. He needed Roman to stay. He had let himself grow attached. Let himself become weak and fear being left all alone again. He couldn't drive Roman away. He had to figure out how to convince him to stay.
"Dean." Roman spoke again, snapping Dean out of his thoughts. He had a hand stretched out, gesturing for Dean to come closer. "Please?"
Dean walked over to him, letting Roman grab his hand as he sat down next to him. His body complained at the action, but he held back his grimace. It wasn't like standing up was any more comfortable. He kept his hand in Roman's, squeezing it just as tightly as Roman was doing to him. His whole body hurt. His heart hurt. His fucking soul hurt. But at least with Roman's hand in his, it was a little easier to breathe.
"That fucking bastard." Roman's voice was so soft that Dean almost didn't hear him. "He fucking tricked us." He let out a low, brittle laugh. "How long do you think he was fooling us?"
Dean just shrugged. He had no idea. He didn't even want to think about it, if he was being completely honest.
"We're going to get him." It wasn't clear if Roman was saying this more for Dean, or himself. "He's gonna pay."
Right. Of course. He was for that. But that wouldn't come yet. They were too beat up and fucked in the head to go for it now. They needed to regroup. "But what do we do now?" he found himself asking. That was the million dollar question. How did they regroup? What the fuck did they do until they were ready for this next stage of the war?
Roman didn't answer that right away. He just looked at Dean, seemingly trying to think of the answer. His eyes started flickering down to Dean's lips. His grip on Dean's hand tightened. Dean felt his breath catch in his throat. In a instant the air between them had changed completely. It was the thing they had been ignoring for awhile. Or Dean had been ignoring at least. He didn't know if Roman had been feeling the same way this whole time or not. Maybe he just wanted Dean now because he was the one that was there. The thought of just being a warm body for Roman to use made his stomach twist uncomfortably. He quickly pushed it aside. He didn't need to complicate shit with feelings and whatever. He wanted to focus on making Roman feel better. He wanted to focus on making Roman stay. He would be alright if Roman stayed.
"Can I kiss you?"
Dean blinked in surprise. He wasn't expecting to be asked. "Yeah." He managed to answer that without stammering.
The kiss was soft, still seemingly hesitant even after Dean asked. It didn't stay that way for long though. Roman deepened it, encouraged by the little noise that escaped Dean. Dean still didn't know what this was supposed to be. Was it just comfort or was it something else? He was too afraid to ask. Instead he tried to shake off his thoughts and focus his attention on the kisses. They were nicer than Dean expected them to be. With as much as he and Roman butted heads, he had always imagined the kisses being rougher. Then again, in all of the scenarios he saw their first kisses unfolding, he didn't imagine it happening after being fucked over by the only other guy they thought they could trust. That was a real big kicker right there.
Dean laid himself on his back, pulling Roman down on top of him. The kiss doesn't break as Roman gets settled between his legs. His hands slip under Roman's shirt, grateful that Roman had ditched the vest before they had left the arena. He lightly ran his fingers over Roman's skin, shivering as he felt Roman return the favor. Roman's lips traveled from his lips to his jaw and then to his neck. Dean tilted his head back to give him more access. A low moan escaped him as Roman lightly sucked on the skin. It wasn't hard enough to leave behind a mark. Roman had more consideration than that. Dean let out another moan as his hands slipped down and started undoing the button of Roman's pants.
"You sure?" Roman pulled back enough so he could look Dean in the eyes. "We don't have to if you don't want."
They did though. Dean felt like they had to. He had to show Roman he wasn't going anywhere willingly. He had to make sure Roman had a reason to keep him around. He had to make Roman forget, and maybe he could forget too. It didn't matter that he was exhausted or beat up all to hell. He could put that aside. He recaptured Roman's lips in a kiss, distracting him as he unzipped his jeans and and pulled out his cock. He gave it a few experimental strokes, drawing out a low groan from Roman.
"Fucking hell Dean." Roman helped to yank down his pants and underwear the rest of the way, kicking them off past the foot of the bed. His shirt and Dean's clothes went next, their speed hindered by not only their battered states, but Dean's attempts to keep their lips locked the whole time. The hand that had left Roman's cock to help get rid of their clothes found it once again, stroking it a little faster now.
"Fuck!" Roman broke the kiss and dropped his head against Dean's shoulder. "You trying to kill me here?"
"Maybe." Dean tried to keep going, only to have Roman shake his head and pull it away. "What?" Instinctively he panicked, wondering if he had done something wrong.
Roman said something Dean didn't catch before going over to his bag. He rummaged through it quickly, coming back a few moments later with a bottle of lube and a condom. Dean bit back his sigh of relief, instead forcing himself to smirk.
"What, did you expect to get lucky or something?" He smacked Roman lightly on the chest. "Better not think I'm easy."
"Oh believe me, that's the last thing I'd ever think of you." Roman set the condom aside for now in favor of popping the cap off the lube. He poured some on to his fingers before leaning back down to plant kisses across Dean's chest. Slick fingers teased Dean's hole, one sliding in and making him bite his lip. It had been a long time since he had been the one getting fucked. He usually didn't let it happen. It required an amount of trust that he didn't actually have in people. But he wasn't going to object. He trusted Roman. Maybe that was a terrible idea, but he was choosing to do it anyway. Maybe that would count for something.
Or maybe he was just a fucking idiot.
Roman's kisses trailed down from Dean's chest to his stomach as he slowly slid another finger inside of him. Mumbled praises were being said against his skin. Dean tried to listen, but they got lost as Roman crooked his fingers just right and found his sweet spot. "Fuck!" He arched against the long digits, his own fingers grabbing hold of the sheets under him.
Roman's mouth moved along Dean's hips, sucking harder there than he had on his neck. Marks would remain here, tucked away from the rest of the world. They would know though. And that would be enough.
"You can fuck me already," Dean mumbled as Roman slid a third finger into him. "Don't gotta take forever."
"Don't want to hurt you," Roman replied.
Dean stayed quiet at that, not wanting to cause an argument. He pulled Roman's head up so they could kiss, needing a distraction from how long Roman was taking. Roman's fingers worked in him awhile longer, making him squirm and writhe with need. The head of his cock rubbed against Roman's stomach, smearing precum against his abs. Roman finally pulled his fingers away and grabbed the condom, rolling it on his cock and coating it with more lube.
"Are you sure you want to do this?"
Roman gave him a long look. Dean's heart started to beat faster. That look. That fucking look. The weight of being the only one who had ever really had Roman's back for possibly the entire year and a half they had been a team really sunk in. That was a fuck of a lot of pressure to sit on his shoulders. This wasn't supposed to be him. He wasn't the one people were supposed to count on. Yet here he was and here he was staying, ignoring the instinct that told him to run and save himself while he still could.
Roman slid inside slowly, stopping when his hips were flush against Dean's body. Dean locked his legs around Roman's waist while his arms went around his body, pulling him in so there was no space between them. He buried his face in the crook of Roman's neck, trying to hide the grimace he couldn't hold back.
"Dean?" Roman noticed anyway.
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah. It's just...been awhile. Give me a minute."
Roman waited, planting soft kisses from Dean's ear down to the column of his neck and then his shoulder as he did so. Dean slowly relaxed, dropping his head back on the pillow and giving Roman the okay to move. Roman still moved slow, his mouth still kissing any part of Dean it could reach. Dean closed his eyes and tried to focus solely on the pleasure. His back and ribs still ached terribly, but he didn't want to think about that. He already wasn't going to sleep because of it. There was no way that he would be able to find a position to lay in that would allow him any real rest.
Roman pressing their foreheads together made Dean open his eyes. He immediately shivered; the look Roman was giving him was almost too much. It felt like he was drowning in it. The only reason he wasn't completely going under was because Roman's hands on him kept him grounded. They roamed over him, lightly touching every inch of him that they could. His thrusts grew a little faster, his own pain being pushed aside because he needed more. Dean dug his bitten down nails into Roman's back. He wanted to slip a hand down between their bodies to stroke his cock. It was begging for some kind of touch. But he couldn't bring himself to let go. He needed to hold on to reassure himself that Roman was still there. "Roman..." The older man's name passed from his lips in a breathless moan. "Roman..." There were more words on the tip of his tongue. He wanted to say them. Needed to. But he couldn't. They escaped him completely, leaving him with just the one. "Roman..."
Roman snaked a hand down between their bodies and wrapped it around his cock. "Fucking god damn Dean." He stroked him firmly, his hand moving quicker than his thrusts. His lips were on Dean's again, his kisses desperate and needy. Dean returned them in kind. He whimpered in between them, heat coiling in his belly and making him feel like he was going to explode. More whimpers escaped him even as he tried harder to keep himself quiet. Roman's hand moved faster, the head of his cock hitting his prostate with every thrust in. The dual sensations were too much, and Dean came with a cry, his release coating both Roman's hand and their stomach. Roman's release quickly followed, his head dropping in the crook of Dean's neck. Dean let out a shaky sigh, relief filling him as Roman kept him close. Roman was staying. Seth was gone, and Dean felt like dying, but Roman was at least still there. That was enough for him.
A few days later Dean found himself walking through a grocery store with Roman. The two of them hadn't been on Smackdown. They went to Dean's Las Vegas apartment instead, needing to regroup before they went to Raw on Monday. Roman wanted to talk strategy for how to take the whole Authority down, but Dean was more interested in talking about how to tear Seth's face off. Getting rid of the Authority itself was too grand of a plan for him. Murderizing a scumbag who fucked him over? That was more his style.
He stopped in the chip aisle and was in the midst of trying to decide between Doritos and Fritos when he felt a hand grab his. He looked over and saw Roman standing beside him now. He had the basket in his other hand, which was full of far too many healthy things for Dean's liking.
"Do you want to go get something to eat?" Roman posed the question before Dean could criticize his half of the shopping expedition.
"Yeah sure," Dean replied without thinking. "Steak and beer?"
"Yeah. That's good. And maybe a movie after?"
Dean froze, eyes widening a bit at that suggestion. "Are you...are you asking me out on a fucking date?"
Roman grinned sheepishly. "Uhhh...yeah?"
Dean stared at him, still taken aback by the suggestion. They hadn't really discussed the status of anything between after they had sex. They had both skirted around the issue until now.
"I mean, we don't have to if you don't want," Roman said. "I just...you know...thought I'd ask."
"I...yeah I wanna." Dean cracked a grin as Roman smiled. "Dating's good. I like dating." No he didn't. He hadn't ever really been good at relationships. But he had to make sure Roman stayed. Roman was the only thing he had left. He couldn't let him get away. Anything he wanted he would get. Just sex, a relationship...Dean would give him it. He wouldn't let himself fuck it up like he had so much other shit. He just wouldn't. "Tell me you don't want to see a scary movie though."
"Well..." Roman laughed at the look of panic that flashed across Dean's face. "Kidding. I'm thinking a comedy or some shit."
Dean breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh thank fucking god."