A/N: Well, it's humour in the first part and romance in the second. A nice combination if you ask me. My other stories aren't usually like this, though. Well, enjoy it ^^
Harry found the ground rushing up to him alarmingly fast. Something cold and wet slid down the back of his shirt, signaling where he had been attacked. With a startled cry, he met the snow below him with a weird crunching sound. Laughter rang up all around him, invading his ears. What had just happened? Ron helped him up, grinning broadly. "Hermione just laid a smack down on you." He informed him.
"Oh…. Oh! It's on now!"
Harry made a snowball while being doubled over, appearing to be trying to stand after being knocked down. Ron took a small step back, seeing where this was going to go. When Harry gave Ron a smug look, he knew just what to do. "Harry!" He cried out, sounding alarmed. "Sweet Merlin, you okay!?"
Laughter stopped immediately, signaling Harry to go on about with his part of the act he and Ron had silently set up. "Ron, I landed on something! I can't see out of my right eye!" Harry thought about practicing his lies in privet. He sounded a little fake.
Hermione didn't catch this, however, and began to run up to him. "Harry? Harry, I'm so sorry!"
Ron coughed rather loudly and Harry took it to be a signal. Without wasting any more time, he jumped up and whipped around, smacking Hermione almost point blank with a snowball to the forehead. "Got'cha." He said simply.
A second passed.
It was the twins who broke out laughing first, soon followed by everyone else. Hermione slowly caught on to what had just happened and turned a bright shade of pink. "Harry! I was worried sick about you!"
"Hey, Hermione, Harry!"
Both turned, only to get a snowball on their chest from Ron. Dean and Seamus broke into helpless fits of laughter, but stopped when confronted by snowballs being thrown their way. Although both managed to get by without a hit, Dean yelled out for all to hear the magical words: "Snowball fiiiiiiiight!"
Harry and Ron immediately went back to back, chunking the balls of slush as fast as they could make them. Seamus and Dean found themselves with their roommates and the group made a cross formation, hurling snowballs at everyone who opposed them. The twins seemed to be getting more snowballs than thought humanly possible.
This was explained when Harry saw each held a scoop like object in their right hands. 'An ice cream scooper?' Harry thought amazed, until he saw exactly what it did. The scoop part of the object was darted across the snow, followed by a press on a latch on the handle. The scooper was covered by something, forming a perfect snowball, now matter how much or little was picked up at the beginning. Also, they seemed to be able to throw the ball directly from their device.
Leave it to them to make something like that.
Harry had a disagreement with a snowball from Ginny a second later. You see, Harry thought that the snowball should miss him, and the snowball thought it should hit him in the neck and drizzle down his tucked in shirt. Unfortunately, Harry never was all that good at arguing. "Cold! Cold!" he shouted, quickly untucking his sweater and letting the ice fall from his shirt.
Ron, behind him, had been smacked by Lavender, and was being quite vocal in yelling how he would seek revenge. Dean, distracted by Ron, was also hit- this time from Hermione. Seamus was about to laugh, but found that they were being targeted quite well, as he was hit himself.
"Form a base!" Ron suddenly shouted, dropping to his knees and pushing up the snow. "Fred, George, defend! Harry, help me! Dean, Seamus, start making snowballs!"
"Sir, request permission to join, sir!" Neville suddenly appeared.
"Permission granted soldier!" Ron answered him like a drill Sargent. "You will help fortify the walls to the fort! Move people!"
"Sir, yes sir!" The boys chorused.
"Lavender, Angelina, Ginny!" Hermione called out, pointing. "This is war! Prepare to counterattack!"
"Captain!" Patty laughed out, acting like the boys. "We're out numbered!"
"But we're smarter!" Hermione replied with a determined, if not playful, look. "All together now," she began, but had to duck an onslaught from the twins. "Get down and push up snow!"
It helped that the snow was almost a foot deep. The snowstorm last night was really strong. All at once, the girls dropped and pushed up an impressive snow heap. A few more tries of this and they had quickly made a three foot high hump of snow in front of them. They boys were still trying to make their shield, but had patted down the snow to make it stronger.
The fight almost seemed to pause for a few minutes while each side made their own little snow fort. The girls had a huge heap of snow for a shield, easily tall enough to hide behind at a crouch, but the boys had a well packed line of snow that they could lay crouch behind and only have their shoulders up visible.
"All right, men!" Ron barked out in a commander voice. "Prepare for attack!"
"Come on girls!" Ginny squealed, obviously having fun. "Let's show them what we're made of!"
"Attack!" Harry cried out standing and pointing. Instantly all the males stood and hurled a barrage.
"Stay down." Hermione grinned, letting their snowballs piff harmlessly into their mound of snow. However, since they did not pack down their 'shield', it started to fall a little from the force. When the snow slowed a little, the girls crouched and started throwing their own snowballs.
"Duck and cover!" Seamus ordered, dropping down to lie in the snow. The other's followed suit and only a few of them got hit.
"They have a higher wall, but it's not packed well." Harry said, laying with his back adjacent their snow wall. "They can use it to hide, but if we throw hard, we can bring it down."
"Why bring it down?" Fred asked with a grin.
"Look, they are adding more snow to it." George agreed.
Harry glanced over his shoulder to see that it was true. The girls were simply piling snow upon snow. Their wall was reaching four feet. Suddenly it dawned on Harry what the twins were getting at. "Ahhhhhh."
"What?" Neville asked, making more snowballs.
"Look at them." Ron suddenly realized. "They think that the more protection they have, the safer they will be to not get hit."
Seamus jerked as he got hit. "Yeah, good plan." He took to lying down with his partners. "But we can break through it easily with a hard snowball."
"Here's the plan." Ron motioned for them to huddle closer; all now backs against their wall with snowballs flying over them. "We throw weak snowballs. Don't pack them well. Aim above the wall, throw them so they arch over it."
"Why?" Neville asked, looking at all the snowballs they had made.
"Just do it." Harry grinned. "I know where this is going."
"Attack, Men!" George shouted, standing.
"Un!" they all rang out, standing. And hurling.
"Down!" Hermione laughed out, as they all ducked. The girls all giggled as snowballs hit the wall they made. A few lazily smacked them on the heads, however.
"They can't get over the wall." Ginny suddenly realized. "If we make it higher, we can stand and throw and not be hit."
"The boys aren't very good at this sort of thing." Patty mused, scanning their immediate field. "They can throw harder and with more accuracy, but when it comes to decent defense before offence, they have no clue.
"Raise the walls." Angelina giggled out.
Soon the girls were pushing snow from far away to place on their loose snow wall, packing it just enough so it'll stay.
Ten minutes later, they had successfully made a five foot three inch wall.
"Okay guys, ready?" Ron asked, smirking. They had taken quite a beating for this strategy and all were soaked to the core and red from the cold.
"What's the plan, oh great leader?" Fred asked, breathing heavily with a smirk.
"Thanks for asking." Ron replied, in a voice that said he knew he would ask. "Quite simple. The girls hide when we throw and I'm assuming that they just kind of sit their until we deplinish our supply. They attack while we remake out offence."
"You play too much chess." Neville revealed with a smile. "Think too much."
"It's simple." Harry interrupted Ron before he could explain in any more detail. "We throw, they duck, we run and push the wall on them."
"Okay then." Dean picked up two snowballs for each hand. "We stand, yell, and throw one a piece. Then we run to them, stay quiet, and toss while we run."
Seamus was getting into it as well. "Form a straight line and tackle the wall with our shoulders, not hard enough for us to break through it, though."
"Just hard enough to topple it." George agreed, nodding.
"Ready, Men!?" Harry stood and pointed. The girls ducked just as they had planned. Six tired and frost bitten men stood as well. Despite their heavy damage, each knew that it would be worth it. "Make ready!" the girls were laughing hard now at Harry's attempt to sound like Ron had earlier. "Take Aim!" the boys singled out a snowball. "Fire!"
And so it went. One snowball and run. Two snowballs and run, three snowballs and run. Fourth and final ball and PUSH!
The girls all screamed at the same time. The snow fort wall gave easily, burying them all in a thick mass of snow. "Payback!" They heard the guys say as they managed to get their heads out from being buried.
Hermione looked up to see Harry above her, with a grin that clearly said he would enjoy this. "You got me…" Hermione began, trying to look cute. "Call it even?"
Harry pretended to think about it. "Hmm….No!" and with that, he launched forward and grabbed his best friend before proceeding to shovel show down her shirt.
"Harry!" She screeched out, blushing furiously but suddenly she found the snow going in all the wrong places and screamed out how cold it was. In a desperate maneuver, she turned over to try and crawl away from him. She didn't expect, however, to find the wet powdery substance to find it's way into the back of her pants. "Harrrrrryyyyyyyyy!"
Hermione was shaking as she walked to the common room. After admitting defeat to the boys, the girls took to trying to get snow from their shirts and pants – cheeks burning red, and not from the sting of the snow. The men had taken to a victory dance while yelling out their triumph. Despite losing and being drowned in snow, the girls still found enough dignity to realize that none of them could dance and were making quite the fools out of themselves.
With a shiver, Hermione pulled Harry's cloak closer around her. He was walking next to her, holding her hand with a smug grin on his face. He had gotten her back for the snowball that chilled his neck and was now content enough to turn back into the nice friend he was, and wasted no time in wrapping his cloak around her when they reached the inside of Hogwarts castle.
She had tried to refuse at first, but shook with the cold and found it being wrapped around her after he took hers off. True, his cloak wasn't much dryer, but it still wasn't soaked like hers. At least his hand was warm. Harry and Ron had worn the mittens she had gotten the both of them a week or so earlier at Hogsmeade. She felt him squeeze her hand when he found her looking at him in thought. A light blush hit her face and she looked down again.
"Don't be shy." He said encouragingly. "No one is around to pick at us."
"Hmm." Hermione let her gaze return to looking in front of her. The pair had held hands when they walked together since fifth year. Everyone had, of course, teased them about it, but it was just a friendly gustier. 'Honestly.' Hermione through to herself as she played with Harry's fingers absentmindedly. 'Friends do this all the time. I mean, I hold Ron's hand as well.' She paused her thinking. 'Don't I? Yes, I think I do… no, wait, I only do that when we all walk together. Oh darn, no wonder people think we're a couple. Not that I mind. I mean it is Harry we're talking about here.'
"Excuse me?" Hermione suddenly snapped out of her thoughts and looked at the fat lady.
Harry looked down at her. " 'Mione, the password. Remember? We say it to get in the tower?"
Hermione smacked him lightly on his arm. "Hush you." She turned to the picture and sniffed indignantly. "Kow-a-bunga" The portrait swung open, allowing them entrance. "Harry, we're never letting you pick the password again. Poor Neville has never gotten it right once."
"Hey, what's wrong with kow-a-bunga? I like kow-a-bunga!"
"Sure thing, Ninja turtle rip off." Only the muggle born people in the tower had truly appreciated the phrase.
Harry broke into a wide grin. "Go ninja, go ninja, go!"
"So help me!" Hermione cut him off. "If you sing that song one more time…"
"Stop! Calibrate and listen!"
"Argh! I'm going to change!"
"Can I watch?" it was asked innocently enough.
Hermione turned on her heels at her dorm door and smiled sweetly up at him. "Of course." She winked at him and started pulling him in. "Just so you know, my bra is red and lacy and very wet and cold…"
Harry stammered. "Um, actually, I er, gotta, um, go meet Ron… Yeah, Ron!" He was sure he was blushing furiously.
"Aww," She pouted up at him. "Is Harry-warry embarrassed?" She pinched his cheek and cooed up at him. "How cuuuute!"
Lightly she slapped his cheek and grinned. "I win, Harry Potter." And with that, she closed the door on him.
"… I need a shower…" Harry slowly made his way to his dorm to get some dry cloths. "A nice… long…hot…shower."
"Hermione pull the 'you can watch me change' thing again?" Ron asked, overhearing him while pulling on a dry shirt.
"Don't stay in there an hour this time, it's too obvious."
"Save it, you." But he held his classic goofy grin as he grabbed his towel. "I'll think about her if I want to." His voice was light, however. It was clear he was still in a good mood. After all, thinking about Hermione was one of his favourite activities. Ron knew there was something between the two for a long time now, and it seemed that neither made any move to deny it.
Harry found Hermione in the common room later that night after dinner. The girl was curled on the couch with what appeared to be Ron's blanket and Harry's sweatshirt (as she constantly pulled it back over her shoulder). Neither boy minded her going through their things for stuff like that. It started their sixth year when the twins had hexed all of her 'pretty underthings' as they had called them. An itching charm on a bra was not Hermione's idea of a good time. She raided Harry's trunk for cloths to wear for the day and Ron's for a shirt to sleep in at night.
Ever since, Hermione had always had a few of Harry's cloths stashed away in her trunk. A shirt here, a sweatshirt there. The poor boy may dwarf her by a foot and a half now, but he was still so skinny Hermione had no problem (other than the shoulders) keeping his cloths on in a decent way.
Harry walked up behind her and read a little of the book she currently had in her hands.
The girl held her breath as she walked through the forest alone. She could hear the leaves crunching under her feat as she made her way. Her long brown hair fluttered lightly in the wind. Her lavender eyes searched the area she was in intently. "Satashi?" Jena-su called, worrying for her friend. He had been separated from her for almost an hour now.
The wind seemed to pause then. Jena-su's eyes widened a little as she felt hot breath on the back of her neck. She could feel the presence behind her. It was evil. Hungry. Thirsty for her blood. She didn't have to turn to know it was a demon, for it announced itself with a roar that could startle even the dead from the graves:
Harry fell over laughing, clutching his side. The opportunity was just too great to resist. Hermione was on the floor, breathing heavily and holding a hand to her heart now. Her face was ghostly white and she didn't even seem to notice the entire house of Gryffindors was laughing hard at Harry's little joke.
When her heart rate calmed down to the usual and she could properly breathe, Hermione realized that Harry was the one who had screamed behind her. "Harry!" she scolded after getting her bearings. "What an immature and…and … childish thing to do! It was stupid! I was uncalled for! It was-"
"It was great!" Fred declared over the noise. "I wish I could take a picture of that!"
"Hehe, Sorry, Herms." Harry grinned, holding out his hand to help her up. "Come on."
Hermione gave him a skeptical look, but still took his hand and let him hoist her to her feet, where she quickly sat back down. Harry picked up her book while she tried to get her blanket back around herself. "What'cha reading?" He asked innocently, handing her the book, not even thinking to look at the cover.
"Chronicles of Heaven and Earth: Fallen Angel" She replied, taking the book from him. "It's a muggle novel, about a really powerful witch and a boy who can turn into a dragon! They go on an adventure to try and find a 'queen of evil' and stop her from joining with the demon race and taking over the world!"
"Sounds fun." Harry admitted, sitting behind her and looking over her shoulder again.
"Oh no you don't." Hermione insisted, moving so she sat in his lap. "It's you're going to be behind me, I want to keep constant tabs on you."
Harry shifted lightly so his back was on the tall armrest of the couch and Hermione in his lap, legs taking up almost the entire couch. After getting settled in a good position, she leaned back against his chest and found her head to rest just perfectly on his shoulder. Harry's hands wrapped around her waist and both used the blanket to avoid letting anyone see their comfy position. If anyone saw just how Hermione and Harry had absolutely no room between them, the two would never live it down.
So Harry held Hermione close to him as she read her book. At odd intervals, she would twitch slightly or sigh at a romantic part between the two characters.
All in all, Harry was quite bored.
He had, however, found ways of making Hermione squeak like a schoolgirl and discovered a few more tickle spots to add to his ever-growing list. He now knew that the right side was ticklish if moved on very lightly. Also, he noted that she was particularly squeelish around her belly button. These would give him an advantage in a tickle fight, if he couldn't go for the more 'bold' spots that were his favorite. Who would of known that a girl would laugh so hard if tickled there.
Hermione sighed again happily, drawing Harry's attention back to the book. It seemed that the dip Satashi was about to finally make a move on this Jena-su girl. No, wait a minute, he didn't. He completely and blissfully missed the obvious pickup line.
"This guy is a git!" Harry protested after a bit. "He has no clue!"
"I think it's sweet." Hermione protested, letting one hand fall on his that were clasped on her stomach, just below her slightly raised shirt. His hands felt warm on her skin and she found that she increasingly liked skin contact. "He has charm."
"He talks like Yoda and doesn't even know how to pick up a girl!"
" That it is not!" Harry protested, trying to imitate the way the boy talked. " I could do better!"
"Oh?" She sat the book in her lap and pulled the blanket to her chin. "Then prove it."
"Prove you know how to please a girl better than that sweet guy."
Harry thought for a moment and then smiled.
Hermione blushed a second later and felt her heart speed up as she laid her head back against him "Oh Harry…" She was going to say something else, but a pair of sweet lips prevented her. After they receded, Hermione found emerald eyes shining down at her.
"I don't know." She smiled shakily up at him. "I… I think I'm going to have to see more."
"My room?" He asked in a whisper so none of the people who had caught their kiss could hear.
"Yeah." She nodded shortly, blushing. "Just let me fix my shirt…"
A/N: Like it? Hate it? Let me know! Funny little waff for yas. Not my usual style, but –hey- sometimes one just needs to take a break from pure romance and make a little funny every now and then, ne?
Oh! Also, the story Hermione was reading "Chronicles of Heaven and Earth: Fallen Angel" is an actual novel that me and my beautiful friend Jena-su are doing together. Original characters, in a world haunted by demons and evil. One of the last survivors of a dragon clan, hunted down for generations because of their belief, and a Shockingly pretty woman with magical powers and angel wings must stop an evil prince from getting back the queen of darkness. If anyone is interested, feel free to contact me (AIM: Vejita98 ; ICQ:16904096 ; email: Satashi@scifianime.com )and I'll send you the first 2 chapters of it. ^.~
Satashi is c/o of me
Jena-su is c/o to herself
P.S~ Yeah, "Satashi" is based on me, completely and blissfully unaware of pick-up lines…But girls seem to like this, even though it frustrates them. Weird, huh? Trust me, if I could change , I would. Once I was refered to by Jena-su as a "damned cute bastard" after I missed something….