"Hey Arrrrin, you want to play Truth or Dare?"

"No. I hate Truth or Dare."

"Come on Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrin, you know you want to play with me."

"No Jon, I'm not gonna play."

"Come on Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrin, why don't you want to play?"

"This game isn't Mega Man X, I hate it. It's trash."

"Come on Arrrr-"

"No Jon."

"But Arin, this game has great game feel!"

"No. I hate all games, video or actual. I can't handle the many different dimensions of Turth or Dare, because it has more than two, and that's as many as a game needs, like Mega Man X, the pinnacle of games. The conversation mechanics never work, everyone always gives me funny looks because the human emotions engine was programmed poorly. The bottle's RNG is always rigged against the player, and the side quests are all garbage. Overall, zero out of ten. Would not play, Jon."

"Oh yeah? Well, Arin, you're a -5/10 who took too long to get to the actio-"

The small talk was broken by the sound of shattering glass. Arin Hanson had taken his glass bottle filled with murky alcohol and sorrows and smashed it over the fat bearded man's head. He grabbed Jon by the front of his shirt, hoisting up the man's grossly misproportioned body to meet his own, face to face.

"Say it again, Jon."

Jon Jafari looked upon the many chins of his friend, Arin Hanson. Knowing better than to mess with him in a drunken stupor, Jon simply threw his hands up in surrender. Arin vomited a little on his shirt before dropping him on the ground. Arin slumped back to the curb he sat upon, scratching his neck beard. His lack of judgement replacing his common courtesy, Arin reached into his fifth chin, rummaging around within his skin folds. He pulled out a half-eaten roast beef sandwich. Without looking at it, Arin haphazardly shoved the entire thing into his mouth.

"Palutena's going to be there."

Arin stopped grinding the stale bread and rotten roast beef in his mouth. He looked at Jon with an eagerness in his eyes that Jon hadn't seen in a long time. It was a look of encouragement, as if the world had once again gained meaning. Jon hadn't seen that rekindled romantic look since… well, Jon didn't want to bring up those times. Those very dark times. Times of boundless lust and unbridled youth. Warm summer days and long, cold nights, lying awake. Thinking. Dreaming. Yearning for a love he couldn't reclaim.

"You mean… she'll be there?"


Arin leapt to his feet and dramatically looked off in the distance. He whispered under his breath, as though he had discovered all of the world's earthly secrets. The words he uttered were words of emotion. Hope. Hope for a better life.

"Muh waifu…"

Jon smiled. "So you'll be there?"

"For her."