Hello people. I know I shouldn't be starting yet another story, but I blame Louden Swain as I got this idea while listening to their album Sky Alive, which is fantastic, just saying. So blame Rob Benedict.

Anyway this may touch on sensitive subjects throughout the course of the story. These will probably include things relating to depression, suicidal thoughts, alcoholism, and probably other things as well. But it will as always with my stories have a happy ending when I get to it.

So on with the first chapter, I hope you like it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.


Psychiatrist, Dr Castiel Novak sat in his office in his comfortable chair waiting for his 2 o'clock appointment to arrive. Checking his watch he noticed the man was already five minutes late, not that he minded. It was the man's first session, he was bound to be somewhat wary about it. In fact fifty percent of Castiel's patient's never even turned up the first time. That was the piece you pay for choosing his specific field. You see he specialised in helping those with addictions overcome them through therapy, of course it didn't work for everyone, but those who were open to the idea and wished to learn how to manage their illness usually got something from the experience. Finding the root cause of their addiction and fighting that rather than just the symptoms of the problem.

At ten past his door burst open and in walked a confidant man. He had short blond hair and startling green eyes, but it was his aura, the air he gave off, that pulled Castiel up. This was not a man who would accept molly coddling. Every patient was different, and Castiel had learnt long ago to appraise a person at a glance. And one glance at this man and he knew that if you pasted him on the street, saw him in a bar, you would never think he had a problem. He gave of an air of being able to take anything the world threw at him, and when he smiled at Castiel he realised he also had the ability to charm any one to his point of view. For a man like this to admit he had a problem was an achievement in itself, let alone then seek help dealing with it. His sessions with this man, Dean Winchester his notes said, would be a strange game of give and take, as well as a tight rope walk through the emotional landscape. The idea appealed to Castiel. It had been a long time since he had had a challenge like the one the man in front of him presented.

All these thoughts crossed Castiel mind in the split second it took Dean to enter the room and turn to him with a smile.

"Sorry I'm late doc, got held up at work." He said at his most charming, hoping the other man wouldn't see through his mask.

At that sentence Castiel tilted his head at the man. He did not like being lied to, it was pointless and a waste of time.

"Mr Winchester, please sit." Castiel said gesturing to the chair across from him. Once his patient had done so he spoke again.

"I have only one rule. In this room, there are no lies." He said in a pleasant but firm tone. He needed to make sure that this man saw him as an equal or he would never give him his trust.

"So what you going to be honest with me?" Dean asked in disbelief. I mean really? This guy was going to tell him all his deepest darkest secrets just as Dean would be sharing his?

"Yes, always. How about you try being so with me?" Castiel replied with complete sincerity. The game had already begun, but he was ready for it.

"What you talking about?" Dean asked aggressively, going defence as an automatic reflex.

"How about you tell me the real reason you are late?" Castiel suggested calmly, not rising to Deans slightly aggressive tone.

"I've been sitting in my car in the parking lot for the last fifteen minutes trying to decide if I was going to get out of it or drive away." Dean replied after a minute of sitting there studying the man across from him. He was here to get help, he should probably comply with the docs wishes, for now at least.

"Why did you choose to get out?" Castiel asked in a conversational tone as if the answer was of no import to him.

"Cos it's what Sammy would want me to do." Dean replied completely honestly. After all Sam was the reason he was here. In a roundabout way at any rate.

"And who is Sammy?" Castiel asked smiling at the warmth Dean had in his voice when he said the name.

"My little bro. he hates it when I call him that." Dean replied with a chuckle as he imagined his brothers face if he could here this conversation.

"Why?" Castiel asked relaxing into the conversation about Dean's brother. It seemed a topic this man was happy to discuss, and it was always good to make your clients feel comfortable to start with.

"He claims Sammy is a chubby 12 year old. But he'll always be my Sammy." Dean replied with a shrug. It was the truth, he would always see his brother as the lost little boy he had raised, despite being only four years older than him. Someone had to take care of the kid after all.

"Is it your brother who booked you these sessions?" Castiel asked, because he really was wondering about that. Dean seemed to fit into the type who would have a family member who had made them come and see him. They rarely accepted they had a problem themselves after all. And while he tried not to take such clients, he still got the occasional one, and they were always doomed to failure.

"No, I did that." Dean replied with a self-deprecating smile. He still couldn't believe he had done it. But something had to change, something had to give. And he would do anything for his brother, and so he was seeking the help Sam had wanted him to get. His brother was right after all. He did have a problem, even if he hated admitting it.

"Why?" Castiel asked in a slightly probing voice. He needed to know that Dean was here for the right reasons.

At that Dean turned and looked out of the window. He wanted to say it was because of Sam, that he was here for him. But he knew that wasn't what the doc was looking for, and he also deep down knew that it would be a lie. So taking a deep breath he turned back to the man he had a feeling he was going to be seeing a lot of and spoke.

"Cos I've got a problem doc, and I heard you might just be able to help me with it."

"And what is that problem Mr Winchester?" Castiel asked once more in that penetrating tone of his that compelled Dean to reply.

"It's Dean, and I'm an alcoholic."