Author Notes: Hello again, everyone! Here is another silly little something, born from yet another conversation with my daughter and thanks to a slip of the tongue by yours truly. Enjoy with a large pinch of salt and tongue firmly in cheek please :)
Summary: Ever had one of those moments where you wished you could dig a hole in the ground and jump in, or find a Time Turner to turn back time? Well, you're not alone.
Rating: 'T' (although K would still be fine)
Disclaimer: Harry Potter is the brainchild of JK Rowlings.
- Story Start -
Professor Severus Snape, Potions Master of Hogwarts, waited at his desk in austere silence as he watched the nervous first years file into his classroom.
As soon as the last bit of fidgeting had stopped and the last rustle of parchment had died away, he leaned forward - just so - and pinned the entire class with his signature piercing gaze. They looked terrified now. They always did.
Except for his Slytherins, they looked alert and expectant.
As usual, he started the lesson by going through the register. He paused to make a comment at Potter's name, smirked at the resultant snickers - mostly from his Slytherins - and then finished the list.
It was time.
"You are here to learn the subtle science and exact art of potion-making," he began in a low voice just above a whisper, the familiar words both comforting and exhilarating, none of which showed on his face. "I can teach you to bottle fame and blew glory-"
Wait. Did I just say 'blew' instead of 'brew'?
No. I can't have.
But he had. But how could he when he had uttered this very same speech perfectly in the first Potions class for each intake of first years, for the past ten years?!
What was worse, he had stopped midway. The dunderheads wouldn't have known anything was wrong if he had just continued and said something like... like 'blew glory to kingdom come' - not that that made any sort of sense at all - but it was now too late. His speech was ruined, his reputation hung in the balance, and worse of all, the rounded eyes staring back at him were starting to narrow and squint in - gah - suspicion.
There was no help for it. No other recourse.
With his teeth clenched together, Snape held up his wand with a steady hand and prayed Albus Dumbledore would never find out what he was about to do to this class of eleven year olds. The class The Boy Who Lived was sitting in, as a matter of fact.
"Obliviate!" Snape hissed, sweeping his wand in a gesture wide enough to encompass his audience. He lowered his wand and watched the numerous pairs of eyes glaze over with the spell, conscious of guilty relief spreading through his body. No matter, he would make it up to them by not deducting a single point from this entire lesson.
He would simply give more detentions instead.
Taking a deep breath, Snape prepared to start over his entire speech again when he blinked. A student's head and upper body had popped up over a previously empty seat at the back of the class.
"Uh, dropped my quill, sir," Longbottom said nervously, his eyes darting around the silent classroom. "You were, uhm, saying something about teaching us to...?"
Snape stared at him. He blinked again when another student's head and upper body popped up over yet another empty spot, bushy brown hair obscuring half the girl's face.
"Sorry. Dropped my parchment, sir," Granger said, pushing her hair out of her face. "You were saying something about teaching us to bottle fame...?"
Snape stared at her, a sinking feeling growing in the pit of his stomach. Then he blinked, yet another student had straightened up next to Granger, sporting a head of black messy hair, round glasses and a distinctive lightning shaped scar on his forehead.
"Dropped my parchment and quill, sir," Potter said quietly. "You said to bottle fame and blew glory... and then you paused. Sir."
Snape stared at him, a trickle of cold sweat running down his back, something not even the Dark Lord's most fearsome promise of punishment could achieve. He raised his wand again, hand shaking noticeably this time.
- Story End -
A/N: Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed! And Severus is still my favourite HP character, I promise! *ducks hex*