A/N: One thing I don't like about the localization changes is going from the name Kamui to Corrin. I've gotten used to it, but it doesn't make sense for Mikoto to give her son a non-Hoshidan (Japanese) name. So in my headcanon, he was born as Kamui, but Garon renamed him as Corrin to make him more oblivious to the fact he'd been "adopted".
I left its place in the timeline vague, but this occurs fairly soon after Corrin's arrival in Hoshido. No spoilers other than what we already know (that is, he's the adopted prince of Nohr, not the blood prince), so if you're worried about them, don't be! I'm a big-time Corrin/Azura shipper, so I slipped some in near the end, though this is primarily about Corrin and his self-reflection.
So, anyway…my first fanfic! If you liked, please review! If you hated…please review with concrit!
What's in a Name?
Kamui. Kamui. Kamui.
Corrin sighed to himself as he walked down the hallway of the Hoshidan palace. No, it still sounds weird.
"Kamui!" the oldest girl—Hinoka—had cried as she hugged him.
"Kamui?" the youngest boy—Takumi—had asked, looking at him with a kind of disbelief.
"Kamui," the queen had said, weeping softly as she pulled him close.
Kamui. Queen Mikoto—Mother—said it was his birth name, and the entire family was calling him by it. But for him, "Kamui" was a relic of no real significance. It was a name from ages past, belonged to someone who wasn't him. Kamui was who he was, the past, the things he'd lost; Corrin was who he was now, the present, the things he'd gained.
And yet the Hoshidans seemed to expect him to embrace his old name and throw off the one the Nohrians had given him.
His heart panged as he thought of his other family. Surely they hadn't taken his kidnapping…re-kidnapping…well. Elise would be in tears and praying for his safety. Camilla would be tearing across the continent searching for him and gods help anyone who got in her way. Leo would pretend not to be affected, but he'd be trying to scry his location with magic. Xander was busy leading the invasion, but the crown prince would be sending his men into every village and interrogating every prisoner for him. Father…
Corrin's steps faltered, but he took a steadying breath and kept walking.
Will Father even care that I'm gone? Will he even notice?
All his life, it seemed that question had haunted. Does Father love me? Why doesn't he notice me? How can I get him to? He'd pushed himself to his limits in his training, in his studies, in everything he did, hoping for the king to give him a "well-done", or even just a nod or a smile. And he never had.
Now he knew he'd spent his life seeking the approval of not his father, but the man who'd murdered his actual father.
It was…rather shocking. But it finally brought enlightenment to Garon's treatment, to the haughty looks and harsh words. Growing up, he'd never understood why Garon was so cold to him yet so doting to the other Nohrian children. Now he did.
Looking back over his life up until now, Corrin was forced to conclude that no, Garon wouldn't be worried about him. He'd probably notice he was missing, if only because his siblings—his adopted siblings—would be making a fuss, but he certainly wouldn't care. And while he told himself he shouldn't care what Garon thought, the part of him that had been a young boy seeking his adopted father's affection was still hurt.
Adopted family. Birth family. The war between them. He dragged a hand over his face. Gods, that was a subject he didn't want to tackle. It had never quite seemed real to him, back when he'd been in Nohr, just something that happened in a far-away land to far-away people. And now, in less than a month, it had become something all too real, where he had too much at stake and not the slightest idea how to save it all. All Corrin could do was hope that, when the time came, he'd be able to convince the two nations—his two families—to stop fighting.
He was steadfastly avoiding any thoughts about what he'd do if he couldn't.
Corrin was pulled out of his musings by a voice floating through the doorway to his left. He poked his head through to see a familiar figure with long blue hair sitting at the open window, gazing outside. She was singing a lullaby that sounded vaguely Nohrian, her eyes distant.
"Azura," he greeted once she'd finished, and she turned towards him, a lovely smile on her face. He distinctly felt his heart skip a beat.
Azura. The lost princess of Nohr, kidnapped in retaliation for his kidnapping. Out of everyone at the palace, she was the one he'd grown closest to in the short period he'd been here. He felt a little guilty that he trusted her more than his birth family, but why shouldn't he? The Hoshidans were little more than strangers to him; Azura had gone through the same thing he had, and he felt a kind of camaraderie towards her.
…Her being absolutely beautiful may have had a part in it, too.
Azura patted the spot next to her invitingly, and he obliged, crossing the room to settle beside her on the floor. "Kamui."
Despite himself, Corrin couldn't fully hide his grimace at the name, and she noticed. The songstress frowned, studying his face closely. "Is something the matter?"
The prince sighed, running a hand through his platinum blonde hair as he turned his gaze outwards. It was vibrant out there, full of color and life, so very different from the bleak and dry landscape of Nohr. Lovely, yes, but as unfamiliar to him as the Hoshidans. He didn't really feel like he belonged here, and while part of him wanted to reforge the lost bonds with his homeland and family, another part shied away. Their insistent usage of his old name hurt, whether they intended it or not. It felt as though they were trying to bury or belittle his childhood in Nohr, force him into being someone he wasn't. And he was honestly tired of having to hide his feelings on the matter.
Coming to a decision, he locked his gaze with Azura's, his crimson eyes meeting her gold. "If I tell you, do you promise not to tell the rest of my family?"
Her brow furrowed and a brief look of worry crossed her face, but she nodded. Corrin took a deep breath and, before he knew it, he was spilling everything out: his frustration, his discomfort, how out of place he felt, how torn he felt between accepting his past and cutting it off, how uncomfortable it was to be called Kamui.
"…I know it's a stupid thing to get worked up over," he finished, "but while I don't want to hurt their feelings by telling them to stop, I just…I don't know, I guess I want them to acknowledge that I'm not who I once was." He sat back and exhaled, feeling better than he had since he'd arrived in Hoshido.
"It's not stupid," Azura said quietly. "I didn't realize it bothered you so much. I'm sorry."
He shrugged, giving her a half-hearted smile. "No, it's okay. You didn't know, like you said. It's really more my fault for not saying anything."
Silence settled. Azura looked deep in thought, absent-mindedly twining a strand of aqua hair around her fingers. Corrin found himself captivated by the movement as he waited for to speak.
"You have to understand," she finally said, "no one knew how the Nohrians were treating you, if you were being abused or if you were even still alive. The stories we hear about Nohr…" She shook her head. "Well, the idea that you'd want anything to do with them if they were true is inconceivable. They honestly aren't trying to hurt your feelings; they think they're helping you readjust to your true home."
She then surprised him by placing a hand on his, smiling softly. "I can't change how they address you, but...would it help if I, at least, called you Corrin?"
More surprise colored him, followed by a flood of warmth and gratitude. A broad grin spread on his face.
He rather liked how his name sounded, coming from her.
"I'd like that very much," he said, and Azura's smile widened until it matched his own.