Well guys, here's the first offical chapter, I hope you like it!


Ok, now that you've met us you know you're in for some weird stuff. Anywhore, we were sitting in my bedroom, hanging out and arguing over which of our Akatsuki members were better, you know, our normal thing after a shitty day of school work.

"Hey- I got something to tell you!" I said, getting her attention, "I found a new spell, I think we should try it out!" Abby looked at me like I was insane, "Do you really want to kill us with another one of your crazy ass spells?!" She asked, yelling at me in the process.

"Shut up, I know what I'm doing." I replied, smacking her upside the head. "Ok, I'll let you try it." she told me with a sigh, she continued to speak, "get down stairs." I stuck my tongue out at her. "you're my Bitch- you don't get to tell me what to do, I tell you." I reminded whilst pointing at her, but going down the steps anyway.

I stood in the middle of the living room while she stood in front of me, I held out my hands for her to take, once she did I took a deep breath and started to chant.

"Wir appellieren an Herrn Jashin zu schützen und leiten uns, wie wir unseren Abstieg in den Köpfen machen Sie und Ihre Mitarbeiter zu besseren Leben in diese Welt bringen."(1) I mumbled, once I was done the ground started to rumble. I grabbed Abby and pulled her closer to me and out of the way just as the ground below us broke- water started to shoot out.

Abby hit me upside the head, "Look what you did!" I glanced at the water as it filled up and didn't say anything, "Um, bigger problem..." I pointed out, "How the hell are we going to get out of here?" She wondered, now pulling on the door but it wouldn't move, by now the water was up to our waist and was still moving fast. "Jashin verdammt nochmal, warum bedeutet das immer mir passieren?"(2) I muttered under my breath. "Alex, what the heck are we going to do?!" Abby questioned worriedly, almost completely covered head-to-toe in water like I was. "Give up on life, that's all I got, maybe if we're lucky we'll go to the Naruto world and have a chance to be ninjas." I shrugged just as I was covered completely in the water, I sank to the bottom and sat there, waiting for the water to kill me slowly.

I looked around, and later found Abby had sunk down too, she was struggling. I swam over to her and took hold of her hands, trying to get her to calm down, she understood me and stopped struggling against my hold on her.

See? My Bitch know what I say even if I'm not talking to her, yay me!

Anyway, we sat at the bottom until my vision started to get blurry, and I finally blacked out.

I felt something warm on my face, I tried to ignore it, knowing me, I just died so I'm probably just feeling the fire from me burning in the pits of hell, and if I was in hell I no longer had my Bitch with me, she was a good person; she belonged in Heaven...

Ok, that's a lie- she should be here too. She was just as bad as I was.

I realized that I hadn't even opened my eyes yet, so I did, and I saw... Blue?

You don't see blue in Hell.

"Ah good, it looks like you're awa-" A wretched gasp and painful shrieks came from the sides of me, I looked over while sitting up to see Abby writhing in pain. "What's up with her?!" I asked, noticing that my voice was slightly higher than usual.

My eyes finally focused once the sleep was gone, and I saw that Abby was a... Kid?

The woman answered me whilst I was figuring this scenario out, "I don't know, but her body isn't accepting the water jutsu I just used to wake her up..." She explained, "Um... Why is she a kid?" I questioned, glancing at her, "I don't know what you mean." She answered, I could feel her looking at me, confused.

I looked up at her and almost did a double-take, "Whoa, are you Konan of the Akatsuki?" Her stare turned serious and interested, "How do you know that? You're just a child." Konan wondered, I stared down and for the first time noticed I was... A kid? What the fuck!

"Konan! Yes I know your name, we have to take her too the base, I need her, she can't die, she's my Bitch, please help them!" I pleaded, almost on the verge of tears since for all I know she might just die and-

I really can't let that happen.I'd be lost.

"Never use that kind of language again young lady! And of course I'll help you, I didn't pull you out of the river just to leave you here by yourselves."

I leaned up against the back of the tree as Konan gathered her stuff around the camp. Then I turned my attention to Abby who was still unconscious, I put my hand on her forehead, she had a bad fever.

We had started our travel to the Akatsuki base now, and from something that Konan told me, she had already contacted Nagato, yes I said Nagato, she called him that while talking to me.

Fast-forwarding to the part to where we made it to the Akatsuki base, 'cause believe me I don't want to say and you don't want to read it. Konan took us through the big-ass base all the way to Pein's, or Nagato's for those readers that could be confused by the name change, room.

Now what I said before about her already talking to him before we left camp? Apparently she just said that she was on her way home, not that she was bringing two children with her. But it was amusing to watch him say that we couldn't stay here, you know why? It's 'cause Konan went mother-mode on him, yeah, apparently she had thought of us as her daughters, not that I minded it that much.

So after she was done ordering Nagato around we took Abby to the infirmary. Once we got there we found Sasori sitting at a work bench looking at bottles of chemicals. "Sasori-San, we need your assistance." Konan requested, gaining his attention.

"Who are they, Konan-San?" He asked, turning his gaze to me. "I found them on my way back from my mission, they will be staying with us as my daughters, but one of them isn't feeling very well, can you help them?" She asked.

He nodded and motioned for us to sit her on one of the table that were set up on the other side of the room.

"If you need any help, I'm sure Zetsu will, just tell him Konan and Pein-Sama said so." She informed him, taking my hand and leading me out.

"Where are we going?" I questioned as she pulled me along. "We're going shopping." She replied happily, "Aw, do we have to?" I whined, yes I whined, got a problem with it? I'm in a child's body, I might as well act like one.

We made it to Amegakure's shopping district, which surprisingly wasn't that far from the base, she then dragged me into a shop which was filled with pink clothing, and I don't mean like a hot pink, I mean a light girly pink, like the color of Sakura Haruno's hair.

Oh hell no, I was not about to wear something of that color.

"Um Konan, not to be rude but I hate that shade of pink." I told her, she looked at me, "Why?" She asked, I shrugged, "It's just not my style." I said, moving my bangs out of my face that were covering my nose, accidentally revealing my bridge piercing, "What is that?" She questioned, looking at my face more closely now.

"Are those piercings?" I nodded, "I told you I'm not nine years old, I'm nineteen!" I told her, raising my voice a little. She looked a little surprised that I raised my voice at her, "So care to explain how all of this happened?" She wondered, I nodded and started to explain it all.

So... Love how I skipped forward again? Anyway, after me explaining everything Konan decided to drop the whole shopping thing until we got back to normal. So once we got back to the base, Konan dragged me back into Nagato's office so I could talk to him about how we 'got' here and how we really got transformed into kids.

And you know what?

He didn't even believe me, so I pretty much just did it for nothing, and I talked a damn fucking lot. I'll let Abby explain it when she wakes up.

(1) We appeal to Lord Jashin, protect and guide us as we make our descent into the minds of you and your staff, in order to bring better life in this world.

(2) Jashin damn it, why does this always happen to me?

Hope you guys liked the first redid chapter, review Ill give you cookies!

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