Deadpool is awesome.
I think we all know this.
And he is one of mine AND Ghost favorite characters, as any of our readers can tell. In Harem of Latveria we brought him up whenever we could, in Spidey's Harem we paired Ben Reilly with Lady Deadpool... just because we thought it would be awesome!, and our Lady Deadpool chapter's for Spidey One-Shots are the ones we have the most fun writing.
So, we are making a Deadpool Harem fic!
Yes, you just bread that right.
But, we are NOT revealing the harem for one!
And another point is that since this is Deadpool getting girls there will be less character and plot and more action and lemons than any of our other work, either mine or Ghost's.
So, yea. Expect insanity.
And another note! Since MULTIPLE girls find Deadpool repulsive, Ghost and I may... 'have a hand' in some of the girls falling for Mr Wilson. *winks*
Remember: This fic is NOT meant to be taken seriously. AT. ALL.
Co-Written by: GhostKaizer
Disclaimer: Don't own Deadpool or Marvel
Deadpool gets pus... WADE GET AWAY FROM MY KEYBORED
Chapter 1: Lady Luck
Scene: Downtown apartment.
Location: New York
Residents: One stuffed dog, 169,974 pancakes and one kickassasin
What is a kickassin? An assassin that kicks so much ass he has threatened the authors to... I mean... the author's love him so much that they have decided to give him his own super awesome story... yea... that's it
Sitting in his AWESOME lounge chair in his red and black lounge pants with katana motif was an non-scarred blonde haired Canadian drinking beer with ninety seven empty bottles surrounding his flat. "Damn healing factor. STILL can't get drunk! Still I got my looks."
"And I must say, while I enjoyed your old look, you are SO much more sexy like this." An alluring female voice whispered into his ear as pink arms wrapped around his shoulders, black nails dancing across his chest
"Hmm...Hey babe." the kickassassin smiled
"Wade..." the alluring female spoke
"Yeah my lovely wife?" Wade answered staring at his slender and VERY attractive wife...not that the writers are trying to hit on her or anything.
"When are you going to take these beer bottles out?" She asked semi-seriously.
"Or..." he grinned, pulling her onto his lap "I can make you scream."
"Bottles first. Sexy time right after." Wade's wife stroked his nose cutely
"Okay. One clean up, coming up." Wade answered and pushed a button making all the beer bottles disappear. "Now then..."
"Come here baby." Wade's wife kissed him passionately
Okay... let's ACTUALLY talk about who she is. The pink skinned, black haired sexy girl wearing a black and purple outfit along with gold accents on the outfit was the Queen of the monsters and a Succubus called Shiklah
"Hmm...Wade..." Shiklah moaned
She married Wade after he was told to escort her to Dracula to be HIS bride. But Wade as the ladies man as he is won the heart of Shiklah and married HIM instead.
Wade grinned as he was grouping his wives body as he kissed her exposed clevedge
'Hmm...What I could do with some whipped cream, cherries and a banana.' Wade thought as he teased Shiklah's nipples.
That was when a knock on the door came
"Oh come on!" Wade snapped at the door. "One second." He produced a .44 Magnum from his lounge pants...one of the OTHER things that wasn't ten inches long. Wade opened the door and pointed his gun at the person who knocked on their door. "WHAT?!"
Standing there was a woman with a large chest wearing a skin tight black leather outfit That didn't hide her chest, heck with the zip pulled so low she was showing it off! She had snow white skin with her black hair cut in a small bob and a large black circle over over her right eye. This was Domino, one of Wade'a oldest... 'friends?'
"Really Wade. After all this time?" Domino asked
"Domino? Why're you here?" Wade asked
"We got a job." she frowned, slamming a letter into his chest
"Okay...Give me a half hour." Wade answered
"Wade." Domino snapped lightly
"Fifteen minutes." Wade changed his answer
"Wade!" Domino snapped again
"Five minutes! I'll keep my hat on!" Wade groaned revealing he had a captain's hat magically appear on his head
Domino frowned and slapped him upside the head
"OW! Jeez! Okay, okay!" Wade groaned
"Wade...who's there?" Shiklah asked
"... who's that?" Domino asked
The female assassin's eyes narrowing in annoyance since Deadpool ALWAYS flirted with her and tried to get sexual favors
"That's my wife. Shiklah." Wade answered
"You're wife..." Domino maintained her stare.
"Ye..." he started before his brains where blown out
"Nice to meet you." Domino said coldly to the Monster Queen before she walked away "Tell him to get there ASAP!"
"Fine." Shiklah sighed as her husband began to reform his brains
"Ow, ow, ow, ow! She SHOT me!" Wade groaned
"She told me to get you to your job ASAP." Shiklah pouted
"She SHOT me!"
"You want me to kiss your boo-boo?" Shiklah asked
"Oh babe..." Wade hugged her tenderly
The two laughed as they fell to the floor, soon moaning
*time skip... six hours later*
"What's keeping that mutate son-of-a-bitch?" Domino tapped her foot impatiently.
By her heeled feet was a Burger King package, as she got one from how hungry she got waiting for him. And with how she was standing, even if someone was there, they would not see she had one hand slid under her catsuit playing with her pussy 'God where IS he?!' Domino moaned
And just as she said it the Merc with the Mouth walked into the hangar fully armoured and wielding his trusty rusty twin katana, magnum guns, grenades, bear traps and MULTIPLE gun clips. "HI DOM!" He yelled, right behind her
"Mother!" Domino snapped then slapped Deadpool in his face
"OW! Again?!" Wade snapped
"Do you ALWAYS keep girls waiting?" Domino growled
"No, that's why I was late... and I was booking tickets for my movie." Deadpool grinned
"Oh...okay. Come on our job's still open." Domino answered heading for the plane.
As Domino walked off Wade saw how she swayed her voluptuous ass in her tight leather suit. "Hey, stop describing this Ghost!" Wade snapped at the Co-Writer
"Wade, if I DIDN'T describe it like that people, wouldn't understand." Ghost answered
"Fair enough." Wade answered
"WADE Get your ass here!" Domino shouted
"Yeah, yeah I'm coming!" Wade rolled his eyes.
'Sexy assed cocktease.' He thought, following her but also slightly wondering why his cheek felt a bit wet...
*Time Skip, The job location*
Wade and Domink where running through a forest, avoiding gun fire
"This was a simple job ans you SOMEHOW got the MILITARY after us!" Domino yelled
"At least I'm never boring!" He laughed
"You're insane Wade!" Domino shouted
"They're heading for the clearing!" a soldier shouted
"We've got no cover there!" Domino answered
"Don't worry I've got it covered!" Wade answered as he held a detonator in his hand.
"... what?!" She snapped
As the two ran to their plane Wade pressed the detonator...and nothing happened
"Cheap ass, worthless! Now I KNOW I got this from The Dark Knight prop list!" He threw the detonator away and the trees behind them exploded collapsing on the military giving them time to escape.
"Lucky." Domino grinned, winking
"Coming from the woman who manipulates luck on a daily basis." Wade chuckled
"As I said, Lucky." she grinned at him as they stopped running
"So we got the package?" Wade asked
"Right here." Domino answered
As she patted the pouch that was RIGHT above the junction between her legs
"NICE..." Wade gave a wide smile
"Come on." Domino rolled her eyes.
"What?" He asked innocently, following
As they got into their plane they began to fly off back to base. As Domino clicked the Auto-Pilot on she stretched herself out in the chair.
"So... a wife." She said
"Yep." Wade answered sharpening his hunting knife.
"How long?" Domino asked
"Huh?" Wade asked
"How long you been married?" Domino specified
"Hmm... I'd say... three to four months." He shrugged
"Yet you STILL kept asking me to pose naked, covered in chocolate sauce with strawberry's on my nipples and clit, and take pictures of me like like that... 'preferably fingering myself' as you said... ans give them to you! And sign it, again you preferring me to sign it WITH my... 'juice'... saying 'Oh Wade, you super sexy hunk, I need you. Here is a picture to convince you to make me yours?!" She yelled
"Yep." Wade answered simply "Shouldn't I have?"
"... your MARRIED DUMBASS!"
"People besides me have done it before." Wade responded calmly
"You...You...!" Domino's rage began to build.
"Me what?" he sighed
"You BASTARD!" She shouted as she flung herself at Wade
"GAH!" He yelled as he was knocked over
"The hell Domino!" Wade snapped as he was being kissed by the luck manipulator
"Bastard. Bastard! BASTARD!" She chanted between kisses
'The hell's going on with her?!...Not that I'm complaining...but if Shiklah knows about this!' Wade thought "Domino wait!"
"WHAT?!" She snapped
"About my wife." Wade attempted to warn her
"Oh fuck your wife!" Domino dismissed it as she aimed to rip his suit off
"That's what I do!" He yelled as his rock hard abs where revealed, Domino's black lips kissing and licking all over them
'Oh god!' Both of them moaned as Wade stroked his fingers through Domino's hair.
Domino, absolutely loving the taste of him, began to pull down Wade's pants and boxers revealing his super massive and thick cock "Whoa! You're bigger than I remember." Domino was amazed
"Pays to know the right people." Wade smiled
"Wait... when did we sleep together before?" Wade asked before he moaned as Domino began to use both hands to jack him off, unable to do it properly with just one
"Hmmmm..." Domino tried to think of a viable answer "Independence Day?"
"Oh yeah the Fireworks Explosive Bang...Good times." Wade smiled
Domino grinned, lowering her head and wrapped her black lips around his balls before sucking
Wade groaned, his head falling back. Domino didn't stop her assault, her hungry mouth sucking both of Deadpool's balls hungrily while both of her gloved hands slid up and down his shaft frantically and her eyes looked at his in hunger.
Soon, she changed her tactics though. She began to lick up and down his cock with her small hungry tongue, one hand still gliding up and down his shaft while the other one was now focused on his bulbous head
"Oh fuck Dom! You... you're so good!" Wade groaned "W... WAY better than anyway." Domino grinned before taking his head into her mouth and sucking while her now free hand unzipped her catsuit down past her ass, but kept her outfit on, and began to finger herself "Oh, oh god...Come here." Wade moaned as he managed to flip Domino's pussy above his mouth "Fingering yourself through your suit? Kinky girl." he moved her hand and began to lick her pussy
"Oh fuck! Wade!" She moaned, now rubbing him with both hands again while she licked at his head
"D-Domino! Jeez! I think...I think it's time for the "main course"!" Wade teased Domino's pussy and asshole.
Domino's answer was to get off Wade, onto her back with her legs spread wide and her gloved finger's spreading her pussy lips
"Oh fuck yeah..." Wade grinned as he positioned himself in front of Domino's dripping pussy.
"Show me you're not JUST all talk Wade." Domino teased
"Oh Lucky Girl, just you wait!" Wade grinned, and slammed himself to the hilt with one thrust
"FUCK! Oh shit!" Domino cursed as she felt Wade's erect member inside her pussy
"I hope you're ready cause we've got about..." Wade smiled as he looked at the ETA "Four HOURS till we land. And I'm VERY creative." Domino slapped him
"Shut up and fuck me!" Domino ordered
"Ooh...Do it again!" Wade smiled as he began to thrust inside Domino's pussy
Domino screamed in ecstasy, her head falling back and eyes rolled into her skull as Wade hit or rub EVERY one of her pleasure points with every small movement
Wade began to knead her breasts as he thrust into the mutant, Domino's nails were digging into Wade's back maintaining her grip on the Regenerating Degenerate. "OW! You been to a nail salon recently?" Wade asked as continued fucking Domino.
But Domino wasn't listening, she was moaning in pure nirvana with her tongue hanging weakly from her mouth which she was unable to close from the constant moaning of pleasure
"Alley-Oop!" Wade leaned back pulling Domino on top of him into the cowgirl position.
"Ah! Ah!" Domino moaned as the new position made her collapse on Wade.
And she came. Hard.
Domino panted heavily, she was drooling lightly on Wade's chest as Wade's cock slipped out of her pussy.
'Man...you were sex-starved weren't you?' Wade thought.
"Y... you haven't cumed yet." She panted, ignoring him as she slide off him and onto her knees "C... cum on my face!m like we where in a bad porno!"
"Alright. Just be careful you don't drown." Wade joked as he stood up jerking his cock off and came on Domino's face, missing her eyes.
Domino moaned sexily, slurping up the cum with a wide grin
"God we're such porn stars." Wade smiled as Domino licked his cock.
"... we still have 3and a half hours." Domino grinned sexily
"VERY true. And we can try something ELSE I've been practicing." Wade smiled
"Ooh...what?" Domino asked
"Just wait. Cause YOU won't be able to walk afterwards." Wade knelt down and began to make out with the luck manipulator.
Domino groaned as Wade walked out. Wade's suit was back on and her suit was zipped back up, her stomach slightly bulged out, with Wade carrying her bridal style
"I can't feel my legs." She smiled goofily, groaning as the cum in her body sloshed around with every step Wade took
"What is WITH you today?" He muttered "Not that I'm complaining of course!
"Hmm...just frustrated. You being married and all." Domino explained
"Damn." Wade muttered
"And where have YOU been my love?" Shiklah looked at her husband carrying Domino in his arms
'Oh shit!' Wade thought
"You had sex with another female and you did not invite me... meanie." The succubus pouted confusing the hell out of Deadpool... until he realized what sort of story he was on!
'Oh... this'll be AWESOME!' he thought happily "Well...we can pick up where we left off my dear." Wade smiled thanking the writers in his mind.
"Again? Five times didn't satisfy you last time?" Shiklah asked
"Enhanced stamina. What can you do?" Wade replied
"Healing Factor... he can't get tired easy." Domino muttered out "We did it six times on our way down here."
"Well then... we better get ready. And think about getting a bigger apartment, as we'd need more girls to satisfy our lovely Deadpool if he is as tireless as you say." Shiklah smiled, taking Domino from Wade and walking off
"I'll catch up! I need to do something first!" Deadpool called, before he teleported away
"I wonder where he's going?" Shiklah thought out loud
"Knowing Wade...Somewhere weird." Domino sighed nuzzling into Shiklah's breasts
Said succubus smiled "I think I'm going to like keeping you as a pet."
The Merc With A Mouth appeared in an empty desert... and fell to his knees crying in joy. He ripped his mask off, held his arms to the sky, and called "GREY! GHOST! THANK YOU!"
"Just wait till he sees what we've got in store for him in the coming story." Ghost said to Grey with a smile
"Ssssh! Spoilers." Grey chuckled
"Er... IS this a super-hot sex filled Deadpool harem fic where I get with EVERY smoking hot babe?" Wade asked after a few seconds
"That's for us to know and you to experience Wade. But I PROMISE it'll be good." Ghost reassured him "Oh, one other thing." Ghost snapped his fingers and appeared a chimichanga/taco combo before him "Eat that. You're gonna need your strength."
And with his unhealthy food in hand, Wade teliported off home
"So... who next?" Grey asked
"Honey's I'm HOME!" Wade smiled wiping off taco/chimichanga dressing from his lips.
There, on his bed, was his lovely wife and Domino, both naked... well, Domino had a choker on but that was it. Domino's stomach was back to normal, Shiklah's black lips surrounded by a white substance that showed she had drunk all her husbands cum out of both of Domino's holes mere seconds ago
"Holy shit..." Wade drooled and felt a bloody nose coming along.
"I hope you're ready for another round love." Shiklah asked sultrily
"Yea." Domino grinned, pulling his trousers and boxers down to his ankles "We need to get rod of this problem." She smiled, grabbing his big hard cock
"Well, I'm happy to oblige." Wade answered making out with the Luck Manipulator.
"Should I be jealous?" Shiklah asked teasing her pussy.
Domino moaned as she broke the kiss, her head falling into his chest
"No, just having fun." Wade smirked, pulling Shiklah into a kiss
As the two began to kiss Domino began to suck on Wade's cock for the...we lost track after the plane, time. And he was LOVING it...almost as much as she was.
Domino was moaning sexily as she bobbed her head up and down eagerly on his cock while Wade ran a hand through her hair
Shiklah moaned as she was playing with her pussy while kissing her husband.
'Oh GOD!' Wade thought as he came in Domino's mouth
Domino moaned loudly as she swallowed the cum happily
"Damn..." Wade moaned
"I think she's ready love." Shiklah smiled
"No. I wanna fuck you now." He grinned, pulling his cock from Domino's hungry mouth
"Hmm." Domino pouted
"Sorry. Lady Luck's on my wife's side for now." Wade answered
*In the domain of Lady Luck*
"Are you kidding me?!" The personified mistress of good fortune and probabilities deadpanned
Wade pulled the pink skinned woman onto his lap, sliding into her dark purple pussy
"Hmm...Oh...I NEVER get tired of this." Shiklah smiled as Wade began to thrust into her.
"Babe. It's gonna be a LONG weekend." Wade smiled as he began to nuzzle up and down from her neck to her breasts.
"Don't leave me out!" Domino grinned, shoving her tongue up Shiklah's asshole
"Hmm...Kinky isn't she?" Shiklah asked her husband
"Really? I didn't notice." Wade joked
As Domino heard this she began to finger Shiklah's pussy with Wade still in her thinking 'I'll show YOU kinky!'
"AH! O... oh my!" Shiklah screamed in pleasure
"Fucking...HELL!" Wade came straight into Shiklah's pussy.
"AH...! Wade..." Shiklah moaned in ecstasy as she was cumming from both Wade's and Domino's fingers
'My life... is awesome!' Wade thought with a grin
Grey: And there we go! Well, that's Chapter one done!
Wade: Thanks a lot man, this... this means a lot. *holding back tears of joy*
Grey: Come on Wade, don't cry yet. We aren't even on Chapter three yet.
Wade: *perks up* Chapter 3?
Grey: *grins* Wait and see. Later guys!