The Eating Contest


"Keep your helmet on, Cap, I'm coming," Tony Stark grumbled. He was wondering what he had supposedly done wrong this time, and found out when he saw Loki sitting at the kitchen table. "Oh, right- I forgot to tell you I asked Loki to come over," Tony said, looking at Steve and the other Avengers.

"WHY, may I ask, would you invite HIM over?" Clint snarled.

"Stark says he'd like to see an eating contest between myself and Thor," Loki said calmly. "I don't precisely know why, but it sounded amusing, so here I am."

"Losing to Thor is amusing?" Clint asked skeptically. "I've seen that guy eat- he's like a bottomless pit."

Loki smirked. "What makes you think I'll lose?" he asked. "And where is Thor, anyways?"

"I'll go get him," Steve sighed. "He's probably sleeping."

He left, and Clint said, "You always lose to Thor."

"Maybe in battle," Loki said, still smirking. "But did it ever occur to you that I may be better at some things than Thor is?"

"I'll believe it when I see it," Clint grumbled. "What are you eating, anyways?"

"I had JARVIS order pizzas for this, they should be here soon," Tony said.

Sure enough, as Steve came back with Thor, JARVIS said, "Sir, the pizzas are here."

"Spangles, come help me," Tony said.

Steve sighed and followed him off to get the pizzas, leaving the others to explain to a very confused Thor that he and Loki were having an eating contest for no apparent reason.

Tony and Steve came back carrying ten large boxes of pizza each as Thor asked, "So Loki and I are having an eating contest because Tony is bored?"

"Exactly, big guy," Tony said, putting the stack of pizzas down in front of Loki. "Come have a seat."

"Are there rules?" Thor asked as he obeyed.

"You can't sabotage each other in any way- yes, Loki, that includes magic- and whoever gets full first loses," Tony said.

"I doubt I'll need to sabotage Thor," Loki snickered. Thor glared at him, and opened a box of pizza. Loki did the same, and said, "Bring it on… if you can."

They started eating, and the others watched as Loki quickly took the lead. Thor was still on his first pizza, while Loki was already moving on to the third box.

Everyone sans Tony was shocked when about half an hour later, Thor groaned and said, "I admit defeat….. Loki, I have no idea how you do that."

Loki paused in the middle of a slice, and swallowed before saying, "I just have a bigger appetite than you, that's all. May I have the rest of your pizza as well?"

"Fine," Thor grumbled, and proceeded to sulk as Loki ate the rest of the pizza he had been given and then ate Thor's as well.

"So…." Loki said after he finished, looking at the Avengers. "What's for dessert?"


"Dessert is a different part of your stomach," Loki replied, smirking. "By the way, Stark, where exactly did you come up with this idea?"

"Reading Norse mythology," Tony said, shrugging. "We might have some ice cream."

Loki got up and headed for the freezer, making a pleased sound when he found the ice cream and taking out a gallon of chocolate fudge brownie. "Where is your silverware?" he asked.

"The drawer to your left," Tony said. Loki got out a spoon and dug into the ice cream. "That is so unsanitary," Steve complained.

"I don't plan on leaving any for the rest of you, so no, it's not unsanitary," Loki said. Thor was looking at the ice cream, and Loki snapped, "Thor, if you so much as touch my ice cream, you will be in excruciating pain for the next week."

"When was the last time you ate anything?" Bruce asked.

"I had dinner last night, and then Stark called me informing me that he was interested in seeing an eating contest between me and Thor, so I skipped breakfast to come here," Loki replied.

"Why does Stark have your phone number?" Natasha asked suspiciously.

"I imagine it's because I'm the only person who can match him in what he terms a 'snarkfest'," Loki said.

Tony looked defensive as the team turned to stare at him, and said, "Hey, we don't exchange information that would endanger anyone; we just do a lot of snarking about our personal lives. Loki's hilarious."

"Why thank you, Stark," Loki said, grinning evilly. "And my thanks for all the food. I believe I'll be going now; I was planning on going to look at the Statue of Liberty."

"You're going to what now?" Clint asked menacingly.

"Relax, I'm not going to destroy it or harm it in any way," Loki said, rolling his eyes. Smirking, he continued, "I make no promises about redecoration, however. Farewell." He vanished.

The next morning, the Avengers got a call from Fury, telling them to go look at the Statue of Liberty.

It had turned into a statue of Captain America, and they could hear the national anthem blaring across the water.

I couldn't resist. I hope you enjoyed this, and please review!