Title: Revenge of the Geeks

Authors: Michmak and Zheidi

Rating: PG13 for the subject matter and some language.

Summary: A continuation of Semper Ubi Sub Ubi – Nick and Greg get their revenge on Sara and Catherine.


Nick rifled through the closet, messing up neatly hung clothes and dislodging shoes from their resting places on the floor.

"Nick. . ."

"Where do you keep your naughty stuff?" he asked, poking his head out of the door.

"My what?" *If this bozo thinks I'm going to dress up for him on the first date, he's got another thing coming!*

"Your naughty stuff. You know? Leather skirts, fishnet stockings, skintight vinyl blouses?"

Michelle raised an eyebrow. "Look, Nick, I think you're cute and everything, but I am really not going to do this with you on only our first real date. . ."

Nick shook his head. "No, baby. Not for you, for Catherine and Sara. I want to get some ideas. I'm really gonna make them squirm."

She almost laughed at the gleam in his eye and his clenched fist as he replayed the prior week's humiliations, but still, why did he care so much about getting Catherine and Sara into skimpy clothes? Surely he could think of a better way to humiliate them than that?  Michelle cocked an eyebrow at him, "Why are you so interested in getting them into skimpy clothes?" 

Nick shot his head out of the closet and grinned, "Are you kidding me?  Have you ever worn a hot pink garter and bustier with hosiery?"  Realizing what he had just asked her, he blushed and started stammering, "Geez – sorry.  Personal question – I'm…uh…shit."

Michelle laughed at his obvious embarrassment, even though she was a little red herself, "I don't own anything in hot pink," she replied, "and you'll just have to wait to see what colors I do have.  Push over – I have something in the very back that might suit what you're looking for."


Greg held up a pleather dress that zipped up the front. "I like this one."

Heidi rolled over on her bed to lay on her stomach and put her fist under her chin. "Not exactly your style, but it's one of my favorites."
Greg approached the bed and Heidi raised herself to her knees.

"It's not for me."

Heidi smiled and grabbed the other end of the dress, pulling Greg closer. "I didn't think I'd be wearing anything, but if you insist. . ."

"It's not for you, either," he said kissing her nose. "It's for Sara."

"Sara?" Heidi put her hands on Greg's chest and pushed him back a bit. "Listen, Greg, I'm not in the habit of allowing myself to be used in the place of another woman. If that's what you want, then I suggest you go and find someone else, because I have way too much respect for myself to allow you to. . ."

Greg silenced her with a small kiss. "I'm not interested in Sara, baby. I just want to make her pay for what she did to me. I'd rather see you in this dress than any other girl in the entire world. Really."


Sara hated losing, that was a given. But, losing to Greg and Nick - two people that she was always at least two steps ahead of - it was humiliating.

"Sara? Are you going to be all right?"

Grissom. He was still here at her apartment.

She forced a smile and turned to him. "Fine. I'll be just fine. See you Monday."

Grissom resisted as Sara pushed him towards her door, his face showing his uncertainty of her emotional state at this point.

"I can stay if you like. You're acting strange."

"Strange?" she couldn't believe that he was feigning innocence. "Strange? I'll tell you what's strange, Gil Grissom! It's strange to me that a genius such as yourself lost a Monopoly game to Greg and Nick!"

Grissom gulped audibly. "Things happen, Sara. Monopoly is a game that I'm unfamiliar with. . ."

"Don't give me that shit, Gil Grissom!" she continued to use his full name, causing him to look even more nervous. "I know that you're going to get off on seeing me in some little skimpy outfit, bending over to take fingerprints, sashaying through the hallways in stiletto heels! Don't even try to deny it!"

Grissom just raised his eyebrows, realizing that Sara "Iron Fist" Sidle had him pinned against a wall, her dark eyes shining with rage.

"You're beautiful when you're angry," he squeaked out.


Warrick kissed Catherine's shoulder, then snaked his knee between both of hers.

"If they make you wear anything really good, you might want to keep it."

She rolled over and rested her cheek against his smooth chest. "If they give me anything good to wear, I promise that you'll be the first one to take it off me."

Warrick tightened his arms around her shoulders and waist, grinning. It had been a long night.  Allowing his mind to drift, he wondered what Nick and Greg would have for the girls when Nick returned to work after his two nights off.  Knowing them, it would be outrageous.  Catherine seemed to be handling things pretty well right now, but if the outfits were too bad Warrick knew he would be in trouble.  Sending a silent plea towards heaven, he half-begged, 'Please, let it be workable', before sliding his hand up Catherine's back and drifting off to sleep.


"You are a wicked, wicked woman," Nick stared in awe at the outfit Michelle had pulled from the back of her closet, before allowing a large grin to crease his handsome face.  "There is no way in hell Sara would ever expect something like this!  As a matter of fact, I don't think anyone would expect something like this.  I love it!  You have a devious mind!"

Michelle grinned back, "You don't know the half of it!  Only one thing – you have to promise me you won't tell Sara were you got this from – I only met her tonight, and I have a feeling I wouldn't want to be on her shit list.  This get-up could make me Public Enemy #1.  She strikes me as the type of person who doesn't like making a spectacle of herself – and in this?  Definite spectacle."

Nick nodded happily, "She is going to rue to day she made me wear women's thongs."

"Rue the day, eh?" Michelle responded, teasing, "If I were her, I'd be shaking in my boots." She stood up on her tip-toes and gave Nick a playful shudder.

He grabbed her arms and pulled her closer. "You don't think she's a little scared?"

"Of you?"  Michelle grinned back, leaning into him even more. "You're a pussy-cat.  She probably thinks you're too much of a gentleman to really try to humiliate her.  Or at least she wishes you were."

"Wish in one hand, shit in the other – see which one gets filled first," Nick replied, releasing her arms and wrapping his hands around her waist.

Michelle started laughing and pulled away before walking back into her closet, "Can't tell you're from Texas," she teased, "Not at all!"


"Have you ever actually worn this?"  Greg waggled his eyebrows at Heidi and lifted the article of clothing in question.

Heidi grinned back saucily, "As a matter of fact, I have.  Why?"

Greg shrugged nonchalantly, "I'm thinking something like this might be good for Catherine – but how revealing is it?"

Heidi smirked, "She wouldn't get arrested for wearing it to work, but it might render the functioning brain cells of any man she comes into contact with useless – if they aren't already."

Greg clutched his chest dramatically, "Ouch – that hurt."

Heidi just laughed, "She'd really need knee-high patent leather boots to make the right impression, though. Besides, Greg – in case you haven't noticed – I'm quite a bit taller than Catherine, and I'm not a size 2.  I don't think it will fit her."

Greg eyed Heidi appreciatively, "You are definitely voluptuous – I bet this looks stunning on you."

"It would take a week for you just to roll your tongue back into your mouth," Heidi agreed.  "I have a friend who's around the same size as Catherine – she has the same outfit.  I can call her if you want."

"I want," Greg replied.  He held up the article of clothing in question and arched an eyebrow at Heidi.  "Can I talk you into showing me what this looks like on?  I mean, if Catherine can't bend over in it, I don't think Grissom would let her wear it at work."

"So – you want me to try this on so you can make sure? Like a clothing experiment?"  Heidi reached for the outfit, grinning.  "You're a brave man offering to sacrifice yourself like that just to make sure Catherine can work in an outfit like this.  This could send you into a permanent vegetative-state, though I've never had that reaction from a man before. Quite the opposite in fact."

Greg smirked and walked over to Heidi's bed, leaning back on it as Heidi walked into the bathroom to change.  "I'll do anything in the name of science."

"You're so. . .giving," Heidi observed from behind the bathroom door.


Grissom had never seen Sara rendered speechless before.  But – there she was, mouth gaped open, eyes flashing at him, entire body shaking.  Grissom suddenly realized he should be scared.  Very scared. 

"Beautiful when I'm angry?  Beautiful when I'm angry?"  Sara finally managed to retort, "What the hell is going on?" 

"Going on?  Why Sara – nothing is going on -" Grissom replied, in his most soothing voice, "Can't I -"

"Shut-up.  Just shut-up for a second and let me think," Sara retorted.  Grissom could practically see the gears in her mind clicking into place, and he started to slowly inch his way towards the door.

"I think I'll be going now," he offered softly, blindly reaching for the door knob. His hand never got that far.  With surprising speed, Sara reached out and gripped his arm tightly, looking at him with sudden understanding and growing fury.

"You set me up!" she hissed at him, "You were in cahoots with Nick and Greg – you wanted to lose!"

"No – Sara – think about what you're saying. . ."

"It all makes sense now.  Dammit, Grissom!  Was it part of your plan to get Nick to tell everyone I have a crush on you as well?"

"No.  I didn't know he was going to say that at all.  I had no idea.  Sara -"  Grissom was at a loss for words, "Sara.  I didn't know he was going to say that.  But – is it true?"

Sara glared at him, "Tell me why you set me up, and I'll tell you if it's true or not."

Grissom sighed, "Warrick talked me into it."


"He knew Nick and Greg wanted to get back at you and Catherine, and thought it would be fun to help.  Plus, he wanted to see Catherine in skimpy clothes."

"And?  What about you?"

"I don't want to see Catherine in skimpy clothes." Grissom was being deliberately obtuse, and he knew it.  Sara just raised an eyebrow at him.  Grissom sighed.

"Okay.  I was hoping that Nick would put you in something that would show off your legs.  You always wear jeans."

"You wanted to see my legs?"  The hand that had been tightly gripping his forearm loosened a little and ran up to his shoulder.  Her fingertips gently scrapped against his neck, and Grissom closed his eyes against the sudden surge of heat.

"Among – other things…" he managed to squeak out.  Sara slid her hand into the curls at the nape of his neck, massaging lightly.  Grissom felt as if he was being incinerated from the inside out.  "Will you… do you...forgive me?"

"For wanting to see my legs," Sara purred, practically in his ear, "Yes – I forgive you."  Before Grissom could sigh in relief, Sara continued, "For conspiring with Nick to beat me at Monopoly?  You have to do something for me first."

Grissom opened his eyes and looked into Sara's.  Amusement and anger warred within their chocolate depths.  Sara's mouth was mere inches from his own.  He hoped she was smiling.

"Anything.  I'll do anything."

"That's what I hoped you'd say," Sara whispered, before leaning in and kissing him.

Grissom thought he'd died and gone to heaven.  Little did he know the purgatory Sara had in store for him.


Greg was almost late for work on Monday. On Sunday, he had forgotten the outfit for Catherine when he went home to shower and change, and he was forced to call Heidi, who worked the night shift at the Deli and was sleeping, so he could stop by on his way in and get it.

"I'm sorry," he said again.

She waved her hand as she handed him a brown paper bag. "Don't worry. I had to get up in a few hours anyway."

Greg kissed her cheek. "Thanks, baby. I'll stop in for dinner if they don't castrate me."

"They can do anything but that," Heidi commented, brushing wild blonde hair out of her face. "Have fun and be careful."

"You, too."

Greg then got into his Jeep and drove away, screeching into the parking lot of the Crime Lab just in time to see Grissom and Sara get out of the same Tahoe.

"Well, well, well," he mused to himself. "Looks like we all had a cozy weekend."

"Talking to yourself?" Nick asked behind him.

Greg turned around and motioned to the new couple. "Check out our boss."

"Miracles happen. What did you get from Heidi for Catherine? You said it was good over the phone."

Greg and Nick both looked around in the parking lot, to make sure that no one could see them, then Greg opened the bag and took out a one-piece red velvet short suit. Nick opened his eyes wide.

"Heidi just had that laying around?"

"Actually, she had to borrow it as she is a perfect 10 and Catherine's only a 2."

"I'm going to tell her that you said that."

"What did you bring?"

Nick looked around again. "Didn't really have to worry about sizes with this, so I lucked out. Check this—"


They both looked up at Sara who was standing in the doorway to the lab.

"Guys? Are you coming in? Not that I want to put on stupid clothes for you, but the quicker we get this done, the faster we can get out in the field!"

Nick and Greg walked to the door and entered to find Catherine and Warrick standing behind Sara. Greg handed his bag over to Catherine, and Nick handed a similar bag over to Sara. Warrick smirked. He was really hoping for something good.

"This doesn't weigh much," Catherine observed nervously.

"This does, though," Sara noted skeptically.

Nick shrugged. "Hey, shift's almost started. Y'all had best go change."


Catherine was just thankful that it was stretchy velvet.

"Hey, Daisy Duke," Warrick said when he walked into the break room.

Catherine turned around, the metal clasps of the halter rubbing against the back of her neck.

"Those shorts would kill with a pair of knee-high boots, baby."

Catherine drank her coffee and hoped that she could put on a sweater if she had to go out in the field.

"How does that thing hook up, anyway?"

Warrick feigned interest in coffee as he reached around Catherine to grab the pot, but was more intent on looking down her plunging neckline to inspect the bra situation.

She wasn't wearing one.

He abandoned the coffee pot and put his hand on her back where there was no material, then followed the line of her spine down until his fingertips reached the hem of fabric, just below her right cheek.

All the while, Catherine kept the same look on her face, not taking her eyes from Warrick's for a second. When his other hand reached the clasp of the halter, though, her eyes widened perceptively and she took in a deep breath.

"Easy access," Warrick commented. "Me lika da dress."

"Warrick?" Grissom's voice pulled him out of his trance. "If you're going to try and keep Catherine warm, could you just loan her your jacket? We've got work to do."

Warrick reluctantly released his hold on Catherine, but not before giving her cheek another squeeze. He was going to hold her to her word about taking it off later.

"Where's Sara?" He asked, sitting down at the table.

Grissom cleared his throat nervously and adjusted his glasses. "She. . .uh. . ."

"I'm right here," Sara said from the doorway.

Warrick and Catherine both looked up, unsuccessfully stifling giggles.

"What the hell?" Grissom practically shouted.



Author's Note:

Okay – as promised – a continuation of the extremely kooky Semper Ubi Sub Ubi – if you haven't read that story, go and read it!  It is mandatory reading before you can read this story.  We mean it.  Otherwise, REVENGE  will make even less sense than it already does!  Hope you all had a great Christmas!  Hope you'll have a great New Years!

"SARA SIDLE IRON FIST" is directly attributable to Stepf aka Forensiphile, whom we're blatantly ripping off….uhh…paying homage to…by stealing her idea.  Stepf, you rock!