Disclaimer:  Don't own, don't claim to own, please don't sue.

AN:  Hehe, this idea just hit me while I was listening to music and daydreaming.  It struck me as rather funny so I decided to try it.  This is my first Hellsing Fanfiction and my first attempt at anything quite like this so please bear with me and be nice!  This chapter is a bit short, but things need to be set up.

Chapter 1:  The Bet

"I don't have time for your games Alucard.'  Integra said tiredly as she straightened a stack of papers on her desk.

"I'm being totally serious Master."  He tried to sound sincere but his smirk managed to belay his tone.  He watched amused as his Master's eyes narrowed.

"I bet you are…" she grumbled under her breath, glaring at him from behind her glasses.  He had forsaken his hat and his orange glasses this evening, leaving his wine red eyes looking back at her, surrounded by wild black hair.  "Look, Alucard, I've already given you a mission for tonight."


"So get going!"  She fairly snarled and slammed an open hand onto the desk for emphasis.

"You shouldn't beat the table Master.  It didn't do anything wrong."  He said, smiling at her.  Integra's eyes narrowed further and, was that…a growl?

"But you didn't answer me Master."  His smirk grew to a grin and he watched her grow more agitated as he braced an arm onto the front of the desk and leaned onto it.  She ran a gloved hand through her platinum hair, a sure sign that she was getting tired of this conversion, or was starting to become completely uncomfortable.  'Its such fun to aggravate her.'  He thought smugly. 

"I refuse to provide such…idiocy with an answer."  Integra stood from her chair to glare at him properly.  If he pushed this much further…

"Then you can't, can you?" he said triumphantly as he too stood up to his full height.  He was tempted to laugh at his Master when he saw her face contort with a grimace.

"Of course I can.  Don't be foolish."  'But this is Alucard I'm talking about here.  When isn't he foolish?'

"No, you can't."

Integra glowered at him.  She was not about to get into an 'Am Not!  Are Too!" argument with him.  While he was at liberty to act five years old, she was not. 

"I'd be willing to bet that you can't act feminine for a whole night."  Integra arched a delicate eyebrow at him.

"Look, I already told you that that is preposterous.  You have no idea what you're talking about."  She said stiffly as she light a cigar and took a long puff.  'God, I'm gonna need a strong cup of tea after this.' She thought miserably to herself.

"So you can't."  He remarked smugly and sat on top of the desk as his Master came around to the front with him.  Anyone else in the mansion would have been cowering if at the receiving end of the icy glare he was getting at that moment.  That was one of the things he liked best about his master, she used every resource she had to intimidate others, and did it well.  She always managed to be daunting, in some way or another.  Her azure eyes threatening to freeze anyone on the spot; and if they managed to thaw their way out somehow, they could be guaranteed frostbite. 

"I'll bet you that you can't."  Alucard said again as she came to stand directly in front of him.

"What are you willing to bet?" she asked solemnly after another drag of the cigar.  What was wrong with her?  There is no logical explaination for her current actions.  Except for her pride damn it.  'Integral…now is not the time to be prideful.  It tends to get people into trouble.' She warned herself mentally. 

Alucard blinked at her.  He hadn't really thought that she would take him up on that offer.  He had just been hoping that she would admit to it.  But damned if she didn't prove him wrong.

"Hmm, let's see."  He mumbled, putting his hand to his chin in thought.  "How about, if I win, I get a pint of your blood."  He finished, grinning at her in that infuriating way that only he can manage as both her eyebrows lifted.

"And if I win?"  'Don't do this…'

"I'll do whatever you say for two weeks."

"Two weeks?" she asked incredulously.

Alucard nodded to her.

Integra walked away from him and stood before her father's portrait.  She shouldn't even be considering this.  It was idiocy, no lunacy.  But…it would be incredibly nice to have Alucard completely complacent for two whole weeks.  But that involves…involves…

"How long do I have?" she asked, managing to keep her voice even, if somewhat clipped.

"Two weeks."

Integra sighed heavily and worked her jaw a bit.  Alucard thought that she was going to bite the end of her cigar off.

"Alright."  His grin felt like it was going to split his face as laughter erupted from his form, his shoulders shaking with the force of it.

"Then it's a deal Miss Hellsing." He said smugly before fading into the shadows to leave for his mission, the happiest he'd been in centuries.

After waiting until she was sure that he had left, Integra went back to her chair and sat heavily into it.  She forcefully crushed the butt of her cigar into the glass ashtray and rubbed the bridge of her nose with her index and middle finders.  Oh God what had she done?  What exactly entitled being feminine?  Oh damn…  She was going to need some serious help.

AN:  Okay!  There it is.  I hope you guys liked it!  Again, I'm sorry for the shortness but it couldn't be helped.  The next chapter should be longer.  Anyway, PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!