A/N - This fic was inspired by a recent interview Kane did where due to his accent, he kept mispronouncing the word "librarians." He almost always says it correctly on the show, but I just find the thought of Jacob Stone having a 190 IQ and not being able to pronounce his job title totally adorable.


Jenkins was enjoying a quiet day in the annex, finally happy to have his home all to himself, if only for a temporary amount of time. The Head Librarian and the Colonel had taken off the previous day, off to prevent another disaster from happening. Getting rid of the other three hadn't been quite as easy, but fortunately Miss Cillian had found a new case in her clippings book, and Jenkins had managed to sway the other two into tagging along to help her.

He now found himself in his laboratory, carefully exploring the magical properties of one of Flynn's recent finds. Jenkins had picked up the object in question, and was carefully turning it around in his hands when he heard the sound of the back door opening, followed by three bickering voices and the slamming of said door. He jumped, startled by the sudden arrival of sound, and the object, a large golden egg, fell from his hands and shattered across the floor. With a frustrated sigh, he left the remains of the egg on the floor and marched out of his lab and into the annex.

"What the Dickens is going on out here?" he scolded upon entering the larger room. The three Librarians in Training (not that they were still in training, but their behaviour certainly didn't warrant being referred to as full Librarians) were standing in a cluster, all talking at once. At the sound of Jenkins' voice they all stopped. Cassandra pretty much snapped at attention at the arrival of an authority figure. Stone, though not quite as startled by Jenkins' arrival as the woman he stood far too close to seemed to be, still stopped what he was doing and gave Jenkins' his full attention. Jones grabbed the nearest chair, swung it around so that the back was facing Jenkins, and sat backwards, his arms folded across the backrest and his chin resting on his hands.

"I am not going to ask again. I was just in the middle of analyzing the golden egg that the goose Flynn brought back last week finally laid. It's awfully hard to do such a task when you three are out here, bickering like children!"

Cassandra's eyes went wide with excitement as she started squeaking. "An actual golden egg! So cool! Can I see it!?"

"No, Miss Cillian, you may not," Jenkins stated firmly, trying to ignore how her face fell with disappointment. "As we speak, said egg is lying in pieces on my laboratory floor. A mess that I will not be cleaning up, might I add. Whichever one of you is the cause of all this ruckus, grab a broom and get at it."

The three Librarians once again all started talking at once. Cassandra and Ezekiel were both pointing at Stone as they sputtered out nonsense. Stone's arms were crossed firmly across his chest as he adamantly shook his head.

"Enough!" Jenkins shouted above the chaos and the three Librarians once again quieted. "Mr. Stone, why don't you tell me what happened. Did you manage to get Johnny's fiddle?"

"No! We tried, but that dang magical voodooy thing didn't work!" Jake snapped out of frustration.

"I'm sorry...what?" Jenkins asked.

"You know how every time we have a case and we tell people we're the Librarians or we work for the Library, and they magically cooperate no matter how ridiculous the situation may seem?" Cassandra clarified in her usual, rambly manner. "Well, it didn't work."

"That's what I said, magic voodooy thing," Jake grumbled. "It should have been an easy case. Go to the pawn shop, man asks if he can help us with anything. I tell him we're the Libarians and we're interested in the fiddle. And just...nothin'. If we want the fiddle, we gotta pay ten thousand dollars for it, and I ain't got that kind of money!"

"Wait, slow down. Who exactly did you tell him you were?" Jenkins asked, starting to catch on. From the knowing looks on Cassandra and Ezekiel's faces, they both knew as well.

"I told him that we were the Libarians, but the magic voodooy thing didn't work!"

From beside him, Cassandra had her hand over her mouth, trying to stifle a giggle, while Ezekiel just rolled his eyes and scoffed.

"What?" Jake asked in confusion. "The Libary does that, right? It works its magic so that people cooperate with us?"

"I can assure you, Mr. Stone. The Library can do many wonderful things, but translating hillbilly into English is not one of them."

"I don't…" Jake started.

"Li...bary?" Jenkins asked with amusement.

"I don't say it like that!" Stone scoffed, looking at Cassandra for support. She just smiled sheepishly and shrugged.

"You kind of do," she said apologetically.

But Jake refused to accept the truth and continued to shake his head. "Nuh uh. I have a 190 IQ, I think I know how to say it!"

"Say what exactly?" Ezekiel pressed, turning in his chair to look up at Stone.

"...That word," mumbled Stone.

"What word?" Ezekiel asked with a mischievous grin on his face. Stone just looked down at the floor, softly kicking at invisible dirt. "C'mon Stone, say it."

"I don't wanna," Stone whined as he brought his arms across his chest, his eyes fixed to the floor.

By this point both his fellow Librarians were laughing. Even Cassandra couldn't suppress her giggles anymore. Stone just stood in place, glaring at the floor.

"But Stone is usually the one who introduces us," Cassandra said finally, after the laughter had stopped. "We've never had this problem before so why is it happening all of a sudden?"

Jenkins thought for a moment before coming up with what seemed like a logical answer. "That case you guys did back in Mr. Stone's hometown, that was just last week, right?"

"Yeah. Five days, Thirteen hours, and twenty eight minutes go, to be exact," Cassandra insisted.

"And that was the last case you did?" Jenkins asked, as the other three all nodded. "I suspect being back in his hometown, surrounded by people with similar, subpar language skills, Mr. Stone simply fell back into old habits. A little more time being surrounded by the right people, Mr. Stone, and you'll be back to speaking somewhat decently in no time."

"And until then?" Jake asked a little sheepishly.

"Until then, think before you speak. Honestly, you have an IQ of 190, surely you could have figured that one out," Jenkins sighed. "And maybe let someone else do the talking for a little while."

"Yeah, like me!" Ezekiel said excitedly.

"I was thinking more along the lines of Miss Cillian, actually," Jenkins stated. "If the Library can't understand Mr. Stone's accent, I sincerely doubt it will understand yours."

Ezekiel's mock frown turned into a real one very quickly after Jenkins reminded the three Librarians of the mess in his laboratory, asking which of them was going to be the one to clean it up.

"Sorry sir," Stone laid his accent on thick. "I ain't quite able to understan'ja with that accent of yours." Then he made a beeline back through the back door. Jenkins frowned, but turned his attention back to the other two.

"No can do, mate," Ezekiel said, taking a page from Stone's book. "I uh...I gotta go help that bogan out." And he too ran through the back door, leaving just Jenkins and Cassandra.

"I can help," Cassandra offered a small, apologetic smile for the behaviour of her two coworkers. "I don't mind at all."

But Jenkins shook his head. "That will not be necessary, Miss Cillian, though I appreciate the offer. You're better off out there, making sure those two don't say anything to embarrass the name of the Library." Cassandra nodded in acknowledgement before turning to leave.

Jenkins was once again left alone in his annex. And although he now had to clean up the shattered egg all by himself, at least things were quiet again.


A/N - According to the site I used to find Australian slang, a bogan is slang for a hillbilly. I don't know how accurate that is, but hopefully it's fairly accurate because it fits well.