Need You Now

A series of Addek-themed one shots. I take prompts by the way! Here's the first fairly angsty one lol


This Moment

The summer sun beat down on Addison as she carried a slumbering three-year-old Evie on her hip. Beads of sweat rolled down her face, some of which got into her eyes, causing her to grunt in pain and almost curse out loud. From what she could see of Derek walking beside her with her obscured vision, he looked as calm and cool as a cucumber, happily holding their seven-year-old's hand. He was smiling goofily too. She frowned. How did he manage that?

Derek looked over at her then, catching her frown. "Only you, Addison. Only you can look completely miserable at the happiest place on earth."

Would it be okay to flip her soon-to-be ex-husband off in front of the kids? No, no it wouldn't, and it would be petty too. Kind of a passive aggressive move - kind of a Meredith Grey move, she thought darkly. Sure Derek said that he and Meredith had been over for months now but the thought of him and his mistress together still made her blood boil. Never mind that she had cheated first … It seemed so damn long ago anyway. But not long enough for Derek, of course. He would never forgive her and she was getting to the point where she hated him for hating her.

She simply shrugged. "You're having fun huh? Didn't seem like it earlier. In fact, you complained the whole way up here."

"I changed my mind," Derek said. "Unlike some people I'm adaptable."

"Is that a joke?" She shot back.

Soon their bickering was in full-force and no matter how much Addison tried to remind herself that it was bad for the kids to see them going to battle like this, she couldn't help it. Derek lashed out at her and she lashed back at him, and so on it went. It was their sad, pathetic dance. The love between them had died – at least on Derek's part. What was there left but to hate each other and make it so incredibly obvious to anyone with eyes and ears?

Drew blinked at his parents. "Are you two fighting again? People are looking!" He cried and she could see that he was near tears.

She bit her tongue to keep for blaming Derek for this. "I'm sorry, bud. We shouldn't have done that," Addison said to her son. "It's just sometimes Mommies and Daddies argue."

"But you do it all the time," Drew said. "Why don't you love each other anymore? Why are you getting a divorce?" He blinked rapidly to hold back his tears and Addison's heart tugged painfully in her chest.

"Oh, Drew baby," she murmured. She didn't know what else to say – looking instead to Derek for the right answer. He was good at saying all of the right things, even if he didn't mean it. Hadn't he told her he loved her a million and one times all the while holding her sins over her head and screwing his little intern?

"Your Mom is right about one thing," Derek finally spoke, massaging Drew's hand in slow circles, crouching down to his level. People grumbled all around them as they stopped foot traffic heading to the Peter Pan ride. Evie stayed blissfully asleep on Addison's shoulder.

"Mommies and Daddies do argue, sometimes too much, but we will always love and support you," Derek went on.

"But you're getting a divorce," Drew said. "What if this is the last time we ever come to Disneyland together, as a family?"

Addison and Derek looked at each other. "Well you'll still get to come to Disneyland with at least one of us," Addison said lamely. It was the wrong thing to say.

Drew yanked free from Derek's grasp. "It won't be the same. You two hate each other and I hate you two!" He cried and then before Addison and Derek could stop him, he took off running. They screamed after him and immediately broke into sprinting after him. Evie did wake up now after being jostled all about and started to scream her auburn-haired head off.

Addison shouted Drew's name over and over but the last she saw was a slip of dark curly hair and then he was gone, melding into the crowd. The huge, huge crowd. How would they find him?

XoXoXo

The accusations, the blaming, started immediately, Derek and Addison both hurtling angry words at each other. In Derek's mind it was Addison's fault and in hers, she was torn between blaming Derek and blaming herself so she shouted at him.

Derek got on the phone and called 911. They were told to go wait at the security booth near the entrance to the park and were also informed that the park would be on lockdown until Drew was found. No one could come in and no one could leave.

Evie was sobbing now. She knew something was very wrong and she kept asking "Drew? Brother? Where is Brother?" as Addison and Derek hurried to the booth.

They were slammed with insinuating questions by the security team and then the police who arrived a few minutes later. Addison and Derek both wanted to go off looking for Drew themselves but they were told in no uncertain terms to stay where they were – in a small, confining little windowless office. There was no air-conditioning in there and sweat was rolling down Addison's neck into the valley of her breasts, dampening her white short-sleeved blouse. Once she caught a fat security guard eyeing her lasciviously but she gave him a dirty look and he looked away.

Derek took Evie from Addison, shouting at her that obviously she had no idea how to comfort a child. Addison burned inside at that comment but her worry for Drew was paramount in her mind and heart so she said nothing. Derek opened the knapsack they had brought and he fed Evie Goldfish crackers until her sobs dulled to whimpers.

Addison held her head in her hands, near tears herself. She was trying to remain stoic and most of all brave, but the façade was slipping and fast. If something happened to Drew … She would never be okay, never again. Compounding matters was that the police seemed to think they had done something to Drew themselves. Derek and Addison were being treated as if they had shoved Drew off the Space Mountain ride themselves when no one was looking.

A female officer asked if they would like something to drink and Derek shook his head. "Nothing for me but her –" he pointed at Addison – "Please get her something."

"I don't want a drink," Addison said. "I want my son."

"Addison, we both know if you don't get hydrated –"

"Fuck hydration, Derek! Our son is out there somewhere; somewhere he could be hurting or worse. The last thing on my mind is imbibing even if it's just water. I need my son here, Derek, I need him with me. Don't you understand that?"

"Of course I do! Because I need him too. I never should have gotten into it with you. I shouldn't have made that dumb remark about you being miserable here-"

"Well it's true. I was. Or I thought I was. Not knowing where my son is and not being able to go out and look for him… That's real misery."

Derek nodded. "Tell me about it." She studied him through the cracks in her fingers. He looked tired and pale, like he had aged ten years in just one afternoon. She figured that she must have looked just as bad and she didn't care. She didn't care about anything but finding her boy. She remembered how happy she'd been when she had learned she was pregnant with him. It had taken Derek awhile to come around to the idea of being a father but once he had, he'd taken to parenthood like a fish to water. They used to be so happy. Where had it all gone so wrong? So wrong in fact that they had driven away their own child?

Addison felt wetness on her fingers and realized that she was crying now. She hadn't intended to; Lord knew, she hadn't wanted to, but there it was.

Derek looked at her as she was trying to discreetly dab at her eyes. He looked startled, as if he expected her to be a block of ice with no emotions. He thought of her as an ice queen and here she was coming apart. To her surprise, he said, "He's going to be okay. Drew's going to be okay, alright? Just … just pray or something."

XoXoXo

Evie fell asleep in Derek's arms sometime later as Addison paced the length of the small room anxiously. It had been two hours since Drew had run off and she was feeling every millisecond that passed. What if something truly awful had happened to their son? How could it not have? He was still missing. How long did it take to search the whole Disneyland property? She kept telling herself that Drew was just hiding somewhere but she wasn't so sure anymore.

"Sit down, Addison," Derek finally spoke. "You're going to give yourself a heart attack."

Addison didn't answer, just kept pacing. She happened to stalk by Derek though and he grabbed for her wrist. She went to slap away his fingers but he held fast, pinning her with a stare, a look that she didn't recognize. She used to know him so well; so much better than anyone else and now he left her confused, discombobulated and put out.

"What do you want?" Addison asked.

"I want to say … To say-"

"Spit it out please, Derek, so I can return to my regularly scheduled pacing."

"I'm sorry," Derek said so quietly she almost didn't hear him.

"Come again?"

"I'm sorry," he said louder this time, meeting her eyes with his gorgeous, hypnotic ones. "If I hadn't said what I did; if I hadn't been such an asshole, our son would be with us. He'd be cruising with us on Mr. Toad's Wild Ride right now instead of being lost among thousands of people. I'm sorry … for all of it. For being an unforgiving bastard that drove us to this point where you look at me and all I see is scorn in your face."

"Derek…"

He dropped his chin softly atop Evie's head and his eyes swept the floor. He said no more. Addison felt her heart clench. "I'm sorry too," she said. "For being a royal bitch and a cheater and busting up our family the way I did."

"You think you did it alone?" Derek said, looking at her again. "Well you didn't. I put all the blame on you because it's a lot easier than facing every single stupid thing I've done. If our son is hurt because of my actions … I'll never forgive myself. I won't blame you either if you want to kill me."

"I'd never want to kill you, Derek," Addison said hoarsely. "I mean, I've fantasized about it but I'd never actually do it."

"Don't want blood on your hands."

"I've had blood on my hands before, Derek, and it's not that." She knew she couldn't kill him because her world would completely collapse if he wasn't in it. Same as it would crumble if Drew didn't come back safe and sound.

As if on cue, the door opened and Addison and Derek immediately turned to look as Drew was led in by the hand by a female officer. "Oh thank god!" Derek said. Addison raced to Drew and dropped to her knees in front of him, wasting not a second pulling him into her slender arms.

"Tell me you're okay, tell me you're not hurt," Addison said. She pulled back a bit to look her son over. He looked just the same as before except for the fact that he was wearing a sheepish expression and his eyes were filled with tears.

"Where were you?" Derek asked, moving to him and giving him a hug too. "You're not in trouble right now. Just tell us you're alright."

Drew nodded. "I am. I went to see the dancing bear show and fell asleep in the back section. I thought you'd come for me…"

"We tried. We tried and they wouldn't let us out of here to look for you," Addison said. "Forgive us?"

Drew nodded. "Forgive me for running away?" Drew said in a timid voice.

"Of course," Addison and Derek said in unison. They looked at each other and smiled briefly.

Addison hugged Drew again then cupped his soft, tan cheeks in her hands. "Just swear you'll never do that ever, ever again. Because if something happened to you… We wouldn't be okay."

"I just got so mad," Drew said. "But I won't do it again. I promise."

"Thank god," Derek said. "And believe me I understand what getting mad feels like. But I – Don't be me okay, Slugger. Don't run away when things get tough." He said this, looking at Addison again. There was an apology in his eyes, warmth there that she hadn't seen in so long.

Drew nodded. "Can't you love each other like you used to?" he asked.

"It's not that simple," Addison said sadly. "But we can promise you one thing – we'll never fight like that in front of you again."

"I miss our family. I miss having Dad live with us."

Derek ruffled Drew's hair gently. "I know you do, Drew. I miss it too."

Addison's eyes shot to Derek's. She couldn't believe he had said that and that he looked so sincere. He offered her a smile, seeming to know what she was thinking. "It's true. I do miss it."

"Can't you come home then?" Drew asked hopefully.

"Drew-" Addison started.

"Let's table this discussion for later," Derek said. "But I promise your mom and I will talk. We'll talk a lot and we won't yell even once."

"Promise?"

"Promise," Addison and Derek said in unison.

Addison looked at her watch, a long ago gift from The Captain. "It's getting late. I think we should hit the road."

"Aww, can't we ride one more ride – all together?"

Addison looked at Derek. "What do you think?"

"I guess one can't hurt. What's your pleasure?" Derek asked.

"The Submarine," Drew said. "It's my favorite because we can pretend we're deep under water and we can see everything."

"I like that ride too," Derek said. "And if I remember right, so does your mom."

"It's true," Addison said. "To the submarine we all go."

They gathered up their things, received scathing warnings from the police about watching their son better, and then walked off together. As they took their seats inside of the submarine, Addison saw an elderly couple watching and pointing at the four of them. She overheard the old woman say, "Isn't that just the cutest family you've ever seen, honey?"

Addison smiled in spite of herself. Maybe there was hope… Hope that they could one day truly be a family again. For now, they had this moment, and it mattered. So much.

Note: I know that this was mostly angst but I hope the anon on Tumblr who requested it likes it anyway. I just love my Addek and love any opportunity to write them. I knew I had to include some OC kids too because Addek deserved to have babies together.