100 Ways to Kill A Doctor: Poison

Stipluation1: Sheldon/ Penelope, either romantically, platonically, or someway aka smutty.

Stipulation 2: Leonard/ Amy's death may occur anytime from the Pilot thru Season 9.

Stipulation 3: Their death must occur in the first chapter, any way possible.

Stipulation 4: It can be no longer than 1,500 words.

Stipulation 5: Deadline is October 31, 2015

The FBI agents were dumb-founded on how Dr. Leonard Hofstader died exactly. Amongst his group of friends and wife, there were different stories then there was the issue of suspects.

His wife was in shock, so much so that she spilled no tears. His old roommate was rambling on about their lack of skills- they eventually tuned him out.

Agent Samantha Sampson had to leave the interrogation room so Rajesh could tell his point of view of Leonard's death to Agent Matthew McConnell.

"Alright sir, can you explain how your friend died?"

Rajesh eagerly nodded, "A new sea food restaurant opened up. The couple decided to dine there. Penelope ordered the puffer fish special and gave her hubby a bite. The chief was inexperienced when preparing the fish. A piece of the poisonous meat was on the bite that Leonard was given. He died by accidental poisoning."

Agent Matthew McConnell thanked the Indian man before rubbing his temples. "Please send in Mr. Wolowitz."

Howard Wolowitz was a bean pole with legs in the agents' eyes. His sense of fashion was non-existent. He had requested Agent Sampson's presence. "How may I help you, cher?" Even though, he was married, he still flirted with any decent-looking woman.

Agent Sampson ignored his lame flirtation. "How did your friend die?"

"I saw Joyce Kim last week on Los Robes, carrying a container of arsenic. I bet she put it in his Frosted Flakes, tying up loose ends."

Next, it was Amy's turn to be asked the same question.

"His cerebral cortex shut down after inhaling poisonous gas in Leslie Winkle's lab. He went to confront her while she was testing different gases. Leslie left upset, forgetting to turn off the gas. Her lab door automatically locked, locking him in. Overall, he died from a poison shutting down his man body functions."

Matthew groaned. He motioned for her to leave and send in Bernadette.

"Doctor," Matthew started.

"Yeah, I know what you are going to ask. Leonard was accidentally poisoned by metal. The university's cafeteria staff is under-funded so they put off buying new knives and cast iron pots, but they failed to notice the metal shavings making it into the food."

Matthew made the mistake of calling Sheldon Cooper, mister.

"What didn't you understand the first time? It is Doctor Cooper. I guess I must spell it out to you in simple turns. Leonard was trying to wear contacts again. They caused blurriness, which caused him to misread what he thought was sea salt, but it was actually rat poison. I guess that his vanity was his doom. Accidental poisoning is the cause of death."

They had to question the wife last since she was nearly catatonic.

"Ma'am, how did your husband die?"

Penelope blinked, trying to focus. "I'm not too positive on this, mind you. I recently saw a recall on mixed beans due to castor beans being mixed in somehow. I know Leonard used that brand to make his chili, which he has been eating for the last 3 days." Penelope became unfocused again.

Matthew thought that Penelope was their best suspect, since she expected to inherit almost a million dollars from Leonard's Will and Power of Attorney. However, she and all of Leonard's friends had rock solid alibis.

Penelope was led away by Sheldon who insisted she move in with him. She didn't complain.

The agents didn't know what to make of Leonard's death since he had all those poisons in his system, but his true demise was due to strangulation by a hemp rope.

A week later, Amy was pronounced brain-dead at the scene. Dark bruising around her throat from hemp rope told the FBI that Amy was murdered by Leonard's murderer.

She was put on life support until her Power of Attorney could be found. It was unsurprisingly Sheldon, who decided to pull the plug and donate her organs to needy cancer patients.

A man with a dark past waited for her obituary in the newspaper before opening an expensive bottle of Chardonnay.

"Never could stand the broad and pigmy. They were holding the collective back, preventing them from advancing. It was taking too damn long for the pigmy to die," muttered the murderer in a business suit.

The man grinned like a Cheshire cat who got the cream. He packed his belongings and took a plane to Washington D.C.

A year later, Sheldon and Penelope were pronounced man and wife. They had nearly $2 million between them since Sheldon was Amy's successor.

Sheldon and Penelope went to Las Vegas and tripled their money before restarting Penny Blossoms.