Hi, guys! I have another KaZe fict here! This is actually a two-shots. I hope you enjoy this too!
Warning: This is definitely AU so please don't compare it with the anime/manga. Also, some of the characters might become OOC. And since this is a terribly shorter fict in comparison to my 'Bloody Petals,' the flow of the story will also be more fast-paced here.
Disclaimer: VK isn't mine… Only the story. ᶺoᶺ
Zero Kiryuu, a handsome young man at the age of eighteen, sighed as he opened the front door and entered the house. He already came home so late that night but he still wasn't disappointed to see that man sitting quite comfortably in the living room.
The man, a handsome young adult at the age of twenty four, had wavy brunette locks and dark chocolate eyes. He was reading a book but immediately put it down when Zero entered. He gave the silver-haired teen a cool gaze and smile but the latter didn't return it. He even glared at the man in return as he immediately ascended the stairs and briskly went to his own room. No, he was not a cruel teen or even a disrespectful person. What he did actually has a valid reason.
He knew that man would be there every time he'd go home but it's still very shocking, on top of annoying, to actually see him in full flesh sitting there like always.
Kuran Kaname. That was the man's name – the name which was often spoke of inside their house with great compliment and awe. It was also the name of Zero's younger sister's lover. Or more precisely, Yuuki Kiryuu's ex-lover.
Zero sighed as he immediately locked the door from within. He closed his eyes as he leaned on the door for support. It always made his heart beat fast just looking at those cool eyes. He could still feel his heart hammering inside his chest just from that brief moment of interaction. He thought he'd really pass out from it.
Yes, Kaname was his sister's ex-lover. Yuuki met the man two years ago when Kaname was invited at a company party which the Kiryuu family attended. The two of them immediately fell for each other and became lovers within the next few months. Zero hated the man at first. Sure, Kaname was handsome and rich, intelligent and cool. But the man was just too old for his sister who was younger than him by another two years. Yuuki was fourteen then while Kaname was already twenty-one. He just felt like they were not good for one another especially since the brunette male already have plans for the future while his sister was just starting to blossom into a teenager.
He never thought it was strange before – getting irritated whenever he saw Kaname and Yuuki together or getting angry at even the slightest touch between the two. But when he learned of his own feelings, he did find his actions really frustrating. He used to hate Kaname's guts for actually visiting their house every once in a while to take Yuuki out on dates. Zero usually did his best to annoy the hell out of the man. Even his younger twin Ichiru thought he was being childish about it but he didn't know then that what he was feeling was not actually just a little act of brother complex. It was the opposite.
He didn't know how it started. Maybe a year ago when he accidentally walked in on Kaname bathing naked inside his room's bathroom… seeing that the main bathroom's doorknob didn't work and bathing inside Yuuki's room would be very inappropriate. He was actually stunned then, not knowing if he would shout at the man or if he would blush for all the godliness that he saw. Or maybe his feelings sprouted from when he first saw Kaname and Yuuki kissing quite passionately in the veranda and he did everything just to make the man leave the premise, earning him the anger of his own sister. Or maybe it was from the first time he saw Kaname that night two years ago, dressed in a black tux and oozing with so much elegance and regality.
Up until now, he never knew how he managed to endure it. Having to see that man and his sister together… like he was always walking in on something so private he'd have to close his eyes. The pain and the heartbreak caused by that man was much too vast to earn Kaname forgiveness from him.
But what could he do? It was such a stupid one-sided feeling…
It's a stupid one-sided secret feeling which he could not tell even to his twin, the supposed person who knew him best. Ichiru would probably keep it a secret too but he just couldn't have the gall to say it in words.
That he's in love with his younger sister's lover…
Technically, Kaname and Yuuki were now over since his stupid sister just had to ditch the handsome and rich Kaname for a more stupid and annoying man called Hanabusa Aido. The man sure had the brain that maybe comparable to Kaname but he's just too vain for Zero's liking.
The silver-haired male put down his bag on the desk when he's finally able to move again. It's the same scene every fucking day. That man, who was supposed to be just an ex just kept on visiting and seeing Yuuki. He also always interacted in the same way to her, just like a normal lover would. It's very annoying. He could see the pain in Kaname's eyes whenever he'd visit and Aido was there. Even now, Zero had no idea why the man was still keeping in touch with Yuuki and her family. Yuuki ditched him quite unceremoniously too.
Maybe that's just how Kaname was… a man who would love Yuuki for a long, long time…
"Idiot…" He voiced quietly as he lay on the bed, still in his uniform. "If only you'll look this way…" He sighed before he covered his eyes with his arms. He felt so filthy… falling in love for such a long time with his own sister's lover… He thought his feelings would wane in time, but it was the opposite. He felt so fucking filthy for thinking, even if for a second, that it was good Yuuki found another person to love… leaving Kaname heartbroken and devastated… And yet, seeing Kaname so sad sometimes made him want to strangle his annoying sister who didn't know what she let go of.
No, if he was indeed the worst brother on earth, then he should have already acted on his feelings and finally confessed to the man. But he still had his sanity intact… barely.
Sometimes, when he thought that he could finally act on his feelings for Kaname since the man wasn't Yuuki's lover anymore, he would feel himself being eaten alive by guilt and self-hatred. He felt that just loving Kaname secretly was already a betrayal to Yuuki whom he cherished very much seeing as she was his only sister. Acting on his feelings was never an option…
He heard a knock on the door and knew immediately that it was Yuuki on the other side even before she voiced, "Zero-nii, dinner is ready! Are you sleeping again?"
"I'm awake." He voiced in his usual bored but irritated tone.
He went downstairs after a few minutes of readying his heart. It was not a strange scene anymore to see Kaname dining with them… but Kaname dining with them while Aido was in the house too was a first. Zero actually stopped in his step when he saw Yuuki together with Aido on the other side of the table while Ichiru and Kaname sat on the other side. That IDIOTIC sister of him…
"Zero, is it alright for you to sit beside Kaname-kun?" His mother called unsurely. They all thought he hated Kaname to the core. How far off could they get..?
He sighed and nodded just as he sat quietly in his seat. He looked awfully calm but he's actually quite panicking inside. How could they all eat so calmly and even have such a lively conversation when both the ex and the current lover were there? Even Kaname sometimes talked to their mother about his work in the Kuran family business while Ichiru talked about his school with their father. Yuuki and Aido just kept on talking to themselves as if they were alone in the world. He's the only one who felt so tensed.
"Hanabusa Aido," Yuuki called with a stern face but with such a tender voice Zero thought he felt Kaname flinch. "I thought I told you not to talk while your mouth is full! And you have a grain of rice on your cheek too!" She took the grain and put it in her mouth, much to Zero's surprise.
"How can you display such affection towards Aido when Kuran is here sitting just across the table!?" Zero actually wanted to shout at her but it would be really shocking if he were heard taking Kaname's feelings into consideration.
And so he ate his fill with tensed silence.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
"…Why do you keep doing this?" He couldn't help but ask. He was asked to escort Kaname to the door some time after dinner and he just couldn't take the situation anymore. He had to know why the hell Kaname was willing to take so much pain just to be with Yuuki.
Kaname, so used to be escorted by a grumpy and awfully silent teen, was actually surprised that Zero started a conversation with him of all people. He looked at Zero for a while.
"He's having that weird expression again." Zero thought as he decided to drop the topic. "You don't need to answer. I don't want to hear it anyway." He turned around and was about to enter the house again when he heard it.
"Zero." His breath actually hitched and he felt his cheeks warm up. That's the first time Kaname called him by his first name. The man usually called him by many other annoying names but not his real one. He didn't dare turn around in case Kaname noticed it. "…I'm fine with it. This situation… I don't mind it."
Zero gritted his teeth. He turned around after some seconds. "Are you an idiot? Don't you even feel jealous looking at those two every single day? You're worse than a masochist. Why can't you just let her go?" How he wanted to shout at Kaname for being such an idiot but he could only make his voice a bare whisper. Aside from the fact that it would definitely create a commotion, he couldn't actually blame Kaname for everything. After all, he's just like Kaname… so used to just looking at the person they loved from afar…
Kaname had that weird expression again. Zero could sometimes see it when Kaname was looking at him. But lately, he'd often catch the man having that expression a lot. He now wondered what Kaname was thinking while having that face. Pain and resignation… Or at least that's how he interpreted it…
"Just being with the person I love is more than fine." Kaname voiced. "That person… doesn't have to love me back. I'm satisfied with the way things are." He smiled before he started walking away.
Zero was left standing by the doorway, feeling so utterly defeated and heartbroken. He bit his lower lip to prevent his tears from falling. "Idiot…" Please don't have that expression anymore…
That night, Zero had a dream. It was really a very beautiful dream, with him and Kaname in it. With him and Kaname so happy in it… It was a dream so grand and realistic he actually cried when he woke up… knowing full well that it could never come true.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Zero put on the apron as he started preparing for the ingredients. It's his turn to cook that day so he had no choice but to go home earlier than always. He was just glad that no one was home yet. Or rather, the one person he didn't want to see wasn't there yet.
Just like always, he prepared the meal with two extra servings because Aido and Kaname were sure to come too. They always did, especially during the weekends.
He was too busy preparing for food that he didn't hear the sound of the door bell ringing. He had that look of utter concentration on his face when he heard the unmistakable voice that always made his insides squirm from nervousness and giddiness.
"It smells good here." He was surprised enough to turn around with wide eyes. Kaname was leaning by the doorway of the kitchen with arms crossed over his chest. The man was looking at him while wearing a satisfied expression. It was rare for Kaname to have that look nowadays…
"What do you want?" He scowled as he answered. He could still feel his cheeks warming up from Kaname's sudden arrival. He swore he'd have a heart attack one of these days because of that annoying man. And yet, moments like these when he and Kaname were alone was scarce… Not to mention he and Kaname talking without the presence of his sister or any of their other family member… How he wished he could just talk to Kaname normally, without scowling or getting angry all the time. But it was impossible to suddenly change his attitude towards the man now.
"Zero, why do you hate me?" He asked so suddenly that Zero almost dropped the spoon he was holding. He must be so aghast that Kaname had to repeat himself. "I'm not dating Yuuki anymore. Why do you still hate me?"
Zero gaped at him for a while. He knew there was no way he could tell the man about his feelings. But there was no other reason he could think of. Oh, Kami. "B-Because you're annoying." He answered lamely. He could feel cheeks heating up again.
Kaname arched an eyebrow at him. "In what way?"
"In this kind of way!" He raised both his hands, as if motioning everything around him. That seemed to have confused Kaname even more. Zero growled at him before returning to cooking while Kaname chuckled at his attitude.
"I won't be a bother… so at least let me stay here for a while." Zero's back was on Kaname so the teen didn't know what kind of expression the brunette was wearing. He thought the voice sounded so serious but he was scared to look and see. In the end, he kept his silence and cooked without looking at the person he liked.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
"Thank you." Kaname suddenly voiced and Zero had no choice but to look at him. "I thought I'd have to wait here until midnight."
The silver-haired teen sighed. He didn't want to look at Kaname right now. He felt so guilty and so angry that he knew his emotions would show on his face. The other day, Kaname invited Yuuki on a date. She conceded since she didn't have anything to do anyway. It seemed, however, that Aido also invited her at the last minute yesterday and she wanted to go with Aido today instead. She used her puppy-eyes on her brother and forced Zero to go and tell Kaname that she couldn't go to the fucking date anymore. He actually got angry at her for the first time. Or rather, it was the first time he had shown her his anger. He told her to stop giving Kaname mixed signals since it would be harder for the man to move on. She pouted and apologized to him so he had no choice but to sigh and let her hug him.
Kaname and Zero were currently in front of an Amusement Park. Zero just got to the place and learned that Kaname had already bought tickets for two. He told the brunette that Yuuki couldn't go anymore and Kaname was frozen in his place.
"Does this always happen?" Zero couldn't help but ask. He wanted to berate Kaname and tell the brunette to stop asking his sister on dates since she was already dating someone else. But he didn't have the heart to.
"Sometimes she really comes." Kaname answered, still looking at the tickets in his hand. So most of the time she was ditching him…
"…You should stop this." The silver-haired teen voiced quietly. "Yuuki already has a lover. You should try to move on." He sighed. Kaname had that look again… pain and resignation… as if he really didn't want to move on…
"Since I've already bought the tickets, shouldn't we at least use it?" Kaname proposed with a smile. Zero looked shocked so the brunette had to add, "But only if it's okay with you. I can spend it alone too."
The teen sighed again. He couldn't possibly say no to that. Knowing that Kaname would use the ticket alone all day was hurting him a lot. "Alright. But next time, don't go buying tickets without your date arriving first." He earned a nod and a smile so he had no choice but to really go inside the Park.
He wouldn't admit it but he really did enjoy his time with Kaname. He wore his usual scowl and glare the whole day but even the brunette could tell that he enjoyed the rides, the games, and even the foods inside the Park. But of course, no one would actually know that he enjoyed it mostly because it was with Kaname he spent the day with.
They were quiet when they walked back home. Both men seemed too deep in their own musing.
Zero knew he was most likely punishing himself by doing what he did earlier. He knew that spending more time together with Kaname would actually not help in forgetting the brunette. It could even risk the man knowing of his feelings. But he couldn't help it. He longed for Kaname so much by now that he couldn't care less anymore. He sighed. He shouldn't be thinking like that. He didn't want to betray his sister… He could feel his heart shattering with every step he took towards his house. If only… if only Kaname fell in love with him instead of Yuuki… How he wished that. He gritted his teeth silently as he clenched his fists. How low could he get..? But as he repeatedly told himself, he couldn't help it.
He's in love with Kaname… He's so in love with Kaname that he wished their way home was much, much farther… so that he could at least feel what it felt like in Yuuki's place…
"Zero, are you alright?" Kaname suddenly stopped walking and looked at him in worry.
Zero furrowed his eyebrows at first, not knowing what the brunette was talking about. At least until he gasped as a small sob broke out from his lips. He's crying! He immediately wiped his cheeks with his hands and averted his gaze. "I-I'm fine."
"Are you sure?" Kaname was about to ask more but Zero immediately glared at him.
"I said I'm fine!" He shouted before he started running. How shameless could he get!? To cry in front of Kaname of all people! He felt so ashamed and fearful. What if Kaname realized why he's crying? What if the brunette told his sister and his whole family about it? What if the small comfort zone which he called home was destroyed because of his feelings for Kaname? He knew he wouldn't be able to take that.
And yet, the hollow feeling in his heart now that he left Kaname behind as he entered the house could not be denied anymore. The pain and longing raking his chest was so deep he wanted nothing but to cry. And he knew he'd definitely cry all night again…
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
It took Zero several days, but he somehow managed to act like nothing happened even when he's in front of Kaname. He'd initially just eat in his room when the brunette was around. But he realized he would appear more suspicious if he couldn't even look at the brunette in the eyes.
He was cooking again when Kaname entered the kitchen. The brunette looked surprised and Zero was frozen in his position. But it only took him a second or two before he finally recovered. The silver-haired teen thought that Kaname would leave the premise since it was obvious he was not wanted in the kitchen. But instead of leaving, the brunette actually sighed and took a seat in one of the chairs.
"What do you want?" He asked with an icy tone. He didn't want to use that kind of tone towards Kaname but he had no choice. He wanted to hide his feelings to the point of hurting the brunette. He knew he was despicable… continuously betraying his sister while hurting the person he loved too… But he couldn't help it. He's scared of the consequences…
"I just want to ask you something." Kaname voiced. When the teen didn't answer, the brunette continued. "I seem to have done something wrong. I want to know what it was that made you so angry at me."
Zero's eyebrows furrowed at that. He was thankful that his back was facing Kaname because he was cooking or it would have appeared to Kaname as if he was confused at the question. He actually tried raking his mind of what he could have possibly done to make Kaname go out of his way and ask him about it. Or perhaps it was because he'd become a lot colder to the brunette these past few days… He sighed. Hurting Kaname had somehow become a habit of his. He felt guilty.
"You did nothing wrong." Zero voiced. For once, he wanted to tell Kaname that it wasn't always his fault. Zero could be at fault too. Or rather, it would be most appropriate to say that Zero was the only one at fault. "I'm just having a hard time at school and I'm probably venting it out on you and Aido." He looked behind his shoulder, at Kaname, to at least tell the brunette that he was sincere. And what he saw immediately made him blush up to the tips of his ears. He was glad that he was quick enough to look at what he's cooking once again or Kaname would have suspected anything.
He was very surprised. Kaname… Kaname smiled at him… He could feel his ears getting redder by the second. It wasn't his usual cool smile too. The brunette looked so relieved at his words, enough to smile at him in the way Kaname used to smile towards Yuuki only. Kaname smiled at him like that…
Zero felt so touched somehow. He could feel his heart brimming with happiness and his eyes with unshed tears. If only Kaname would smile like that to him more… But he knew that that moment just a second ago would be one of those rare moments when he and Kaname were on neutral terms.
"Zero," Zero almost jumped when Ichiru entered the kitchen as well. "Are you finished?"
"Just a bit more." He answered just as he felt Ichiru move beside him to see what he's doing.
"Please excuse me then." Kaname voiced just as he stood up from his seat. Zero was surprised enough to look at the brunette once more. He didn't want Kaname to leave. But at the same time, he was relieved. He's afraid he might blurt out some more outrageous things if the brunette remained, if only to make Kaname smile like that to him again.
Although, something must have registered on Zero's face then because Ichiru suddenly looked at him oddly. The teen resumed cooking if only to do something.
"Hey, Zero." Ichiru called his attention. Zero could feel his insides getting cold. He knew Ichiru noticed something and he probably already knew what it was. He was careless. Ichiru was more observant than he looked.
When his brother didn't answer, Ichiru sighed before he sat on the chair that Kaname sat into earlier. It seemed his brother had clammed up. "You don't have to hide things from me. I know about it… your secret feelings."
Thanks for reading! Please review? ᶺoᶺ