Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or RWBY.
Reading: Veritas Aequitas
XXXVIII: Gonna Need A Montage
"Whoo! Back to our main course!" Yang cheered as everyone was back, along with their two new additions.
"Is this the one where I'm…"
"Yes." Blake smirked at Sun as Neptune snickered.
The tower of Beacon Academy stood tall and proud, it's pure exterior reflected the bright sunlight of the day. Students of Vale and their guests were all eager to lose themselves in the beautiful day. Especially since it was the weekend and students were granted reprieve from vast amounts of homework in lieu of the upcoming Vytal Festival.
However, not all were thrilled to have such a day.
"I'm. So. Bored!" Nora Valkyrie groaned from where she sat upside down on her best friend's bed. Ren hummed and turned the page of his book.
"You could always go join Pyrrha and Jaune in their training," he suggested.
"While I love smacking Jaune around like a punching bag,
"Hey!" Jaune glared at Nora, who shrugged in return.
I can't break bring myself to break up the OTP." Nora nodded firmly as she crossed her arms. "Pyrrha has to make a move, and she won't do that with witnesses."
Pyrrha turned a pretty shade of red as Jaune made sputtering noises.
"Nothing! Moving along!" Pyrrha said in a squeak, keeping her gaze from Jaune's.
"I don't think she'll be able to do that without witnesses." Ren deadpanned. He licked the tip of his finger and turned another page. "Then why not go seek out Team RWBY or their friends from Mistral?"
"They're all training..." Nora groaned. She flipped backwards off the bed and landed on her feet to stand in front of Ren with her hands on her hips. "Although, Ruby's said that Yang's seemed a bit...off. Maybe you should cheer her up with some pancakes!"
Ren looked up from his book and stared at the grinning girl dryly.
"Nora. I'm not making anymore pancakes until tomorrow." His words made the orange-haired girl grovel at his feet.
"You monster…can't you see that poor girl is starving!" Nora pointed out.
"Hm." Ren simply hummed.
"But why!? Why have you forsaken me the food of the gods!?" Nora wailed as she nuzzled her head against her best friend's legs. Ren paused and was about to reply when he heard a faint boom. Ren looked towards the window with furrowed brows.
"What is that?" He wondered, his pink eyes squinted as he tried to determine what the distant object he spotted. Nora popped up beside him from where she groveled and squinted her eyes. Her smile returned brightly.
"I think it's a Bulkhead!"
"No, it's bird!" Velvet pointed out.
"No, those would be larger, even from this distance. Perhaps it's just a bird."
"See?" Velvet smiled brightly.
Coco cooed at her, pinching her cheek. "That's just cute how smug you can be."
Ren mused. He went to his desk and began to dig around in the drawer for his binoculars. He returned with the item in hand and held them up to his eyes. "I wonder what type it is."
"It's getting closer! It's got to be a Bulkhead." Nora pointed out smugly.
Ren looked at her dryly before he resumed his examination. His brow furrowed as the distant object continued to get larger. Almost as if it was moving towards them. But that's ludicrous! What would fly towards Beacon knowing that Beacon was there, risking the damage to itself and the school?
"...I don't think it's either..." Ren mused. "In fact...I think...It's a..."
"A what? A what!? The suspense is killing me, Ren!" Nora cried out as she grabbed her friend by his arm and shook him. "Tell me what it is already! Is it a Bulkhead?! A bird!? What is it!? Speak boy!"
"I think ...it's a bowl."
"It was at this moment, Nora fucked up." Yang shook her head in pity.
"...That's just silly!" Nora pushed her friend away with a snort. "Come on, what would a bowl be doing flying towards Beacon?"
Before Ren could answer her, the Unidentified Flying Object smashed through the window and brained Nora in the side of her head. Noodles and broth splattered onto the floor and in Nora's hair.
"…That bastard!" Nora raged, jumping up and down in her seat. "Pancakes rule over ramen!"
Ren set his binoculars down and looked at his dazed friend with amusement.
"Nora," he said. "I think Naruto disagrees with you."
"Like I said, fucked up."
Nora flipped Yang off.
She'd have her revenge for this slight, this Nora swore!
Moments earlier, Naruto was giddily rushing past the people who inhabited his deceased godfather's mountain. Behind him, calmly followed a slightly smiling Fukasaku. The old sage received nods and smiles from those he passed. Oh, they smiled and nodded at Naruto as well, but he was far too focused on his destination to return the pleasantries as he normally would.
Fukasaku found the sight amusing, recalling Minato's and even Jiraiya's own rush to eat after they first touched Natural Energy. Like his godfather, Jiraiya, and his father, Minato, Naruto was someone who did not quit. Take small breaks in order to think about the problem, maybe, but he never once quit. The old sage was proud of his progress and impressed by the child of Minato and Kushina. Naruto had dove right into the first stage of Sage Training as soon as he arrived, but any headway seemed to hit a wall once the first step began.
It was expected, of course, but Fukasaku initially underestimated just how difficult Naruto found the first step. He failed to realize that his student was a boy filled to the absolute brim with energy.
Yang opened her mouth to speak, but Blake cut her off.
"You're going to make a sex joke."
"…Why did you do that? It was a good one! And now it's ruined." Yang pouted, crossing her arms in a huff.
Naruto expected to be asked to perform impossible tasks, such as moving a mountain or swimming in a rampaging river. He'd even brought up the thought of defeating massive toads in hand-to-hand combat, which had earned him an odd look, a firm blow to the head and a chiding insult.
Not once did the thought that he'd be asked to meditate ever cross the son of Minato's mind.
The very least that Fukasaku was grateful for, was that Naruto's energy was matched in spades by his headstrong determination. He refused to take any breaks until he made some sort of advancement. Naruto struggled for days to clear his mind of any wayward thought, to keep absolutely still and become one with Remnant. The slightest distraction, a sound in the distance or nearby, caused him to break from any focus he might have had and lose whatever connection there might have been.
It was frustrating for both of them, as it only lengthened what was supposed to be the 'easy' first step.
Until an hour ago, that is, when Naruto finally managed to form a link with Remnant.
Fukasaku felt as though a weight had fallen off of his shoulders. Finally, they could move onto the next stage: Balance. Now that a connection was made, Naruto would have to find the perfect amount of energy he could take from Remnant before it consumed him.
"Which is bad, we don't want anything bad to happen to Bae. If it does frog-like man, you die." Yang said as if it was plain as day.
Ruby was shivering, Yang was super scary when she got like this.
Fukasaku gripped his staff tightly and chuckled at memories of his previous two students. Oh, the hotheaded son of Minato and Kushina wouldn't enjoy this next exercise in the slightest. Jiraiya sure as hell didn't.
Naruto was oblivious to his teacher's amusement, already seated at the stand that served Oum's glorious gift to Remnant and inhaling his second bowl like a starved man. The blond's bowl was stacked atop the previous one, and he banged his fist on the counter while he struggled momentarily to swallow the lump in his throat. A good thwack to the back freed his passageway and Naruto sighed in relief.
"Stubborn kid, how can you learn to be a Sage if you don't learn to chew your food?" The chef asked in bemusement.
"How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?" Sun declared in a singsong tone.
He was another old fellow, with fading blond hair and a braided moustache. His build was tall and strong, but he had a limp in his step as he returned to his kitchen, courtesy of the peg that acted in place of his right foot.
"Hehehe, I can't help myself! This is good stuff! Borderline Ichiraku!" Naruto praised the cook's work. He clapped his hands together, holding them over his head. "Can I have another?"
The chef leveled him with a hard look before he let out a belly-shaking laugh.
"Sure thing, kid! Just try to remember to chew. It won't do me any good to have the next Sage die on my stool because he couldn't swallow his noodles," the chef said.
"That's foreboding, I don't like it!" Yang snarled.
"She is way too defensive about this fictional guy." Sun whispered to Blake, who nodded in agreement.
He turned around to ready another bowl. "Had I known you'd need more than two bowls, I wouldn't have let my trainee go on break. Going to be a couple of minutes."
"That's fine. I've got plenty of time," Naruto said with a shrug. He looked over at Fukasaku with an unsure smile. "Right?"
"..." Fukasaku leveled him with a stare and pursed lips, his eyes narrowed in thought. Finally, after what felt like forever, he let out a sigh and nodded. "You may have the day. We shall continue tomorrow, early."
"Awesome!" Naruto whooped as Fukasaku walked away. He then patted at his pockets and paled. "Oh no... My wallet is back at the temple."
He slumped forward and his head slammed into the counter with a loud thud.
"Aw, man...There goes Ramen day..." Naruto muttered sourly.
"It's okay, Bae. It'd go to your ass anyway. And not in the good tight way." Yang tried to console.
"That's just disturbing to comment on." Pyrrha said.
He folded his arms under his chin and pouted slightly as he started a thousand yard stare. Not to mention that because of the Mountain's location, my Scroll has no connection whatsoever. Yeah, the occasional news report gets through, but I can't make a call.
"I got'cha covered, handsome."
The hairs on the back of Yang's neck stood up.
Naruto looked to his left to find a girl setting a few cards of lien on the counter. He had to do a double take and his jaw popped open. He initially mistook her for his girlfriend,
"Say WHAT?!" Yang snapped, the table in front of her shatters with snacks flying.
"Oh no! It's the end of the world!" Ruby shrieked and dove for cover.
since she was a beautiful buxom blonde and had some noticeable muscle on her.
Unlike Yang, however, the girl had most of her hair cut short (save for the two bangs falling past her shoulders that framed her face) and had two rounded off cat ears atop her head.
"It's Faunus Yang." Nora gasped.
A white scarf wrapped around her neck and in cooperation with the black tube top, drew attention to her noticeable cleavage. Long baggy pants and combat boots covered her legs and feet, while fingerless gloves protected her hands, and golden wrist-lets with three bone-white ridges protected a portion of her arm.
"Like what you see, Tiger?" The girl asked, giving him a wide, toothy grin. Naruto blinked and shook himself out of the daze her golden eyes had put him in.
"It's as if you and Yang fused, only her personality won out." Sun whistled at the hottie on screen.
Blake's elbow jabbed him in the side. "Watch it, buster."
"It's a compliment!"
"Must. Destroy." Yang muttered as her eye twitched in rage.
Ruby poked her head out from under the sofa. "Can I come out now? Is it safe?"
Weiss pointed to the heavily breathing Yang.
A sheepish smile crossed his face.
"Well, it's not unpleasant, but sadly, I'm spoken for." The girl's grin didn't lessen in the slightest.
"If they-" "She." Naruto interjected firmly. His exploits with the same sex were thus far unknown to the mountain and he didn't want any rumors to go around his age mill if he could stop it. While Sun probably wouldn't care,
"I kinda do." Sun objected.
Sasuke would and Kurama would bury them all with blackmail if it happened.
"If she really likes it, she would put a ring on it." The girl pointed out as she claimed the stool next to his. "Besides, it's not like we're going steady. You think you're hot stuff because I gave you a pet name, Tiger?"
"It's very misleading." Naruto deadpanned.
"It is, now stop cutting in on my turf." The blonde bombshell snarled.
"Can't help it, it's in my nature. Name's Leone Pryde," the girl said with a bright grin on her face. She offered her hand and Naruto cautiously took it.
"Naruto Uzumaki." The blondes' hands shook once before the girl propped her head up by digging her fist into her cheek.
"Mm, sounds fishy. I don't like that." Leone muttered with pursed lips. She smirked. "I like Tiger more. Suits you better."
"These are scars." Naruto pointed at his whisker marks with a bitter smile. "Not birthmarks."
"They're sexy whatever they are.
"Bitch you walk off screen right now, or so help me!" Yang snarled at the screen.
"She's going to punch another one, isn't she?" Pyrrha sighed tiredly.
Ruby, Weiss, and Blake nodded.
"How many is that so far?" Nora asked while counting on her fingers.
"Seven." Ren informed her.
And you've got the whole orange and black thing going for you," Leone said with a smile that lasted for all of a second. Her pupils suddenly dilated into slits and she let out a low growl while her ears turned back. As soon as the full bowl of ramen was set before her, she took it in one hand and turned to fling it off into the air.
"Did...Did you just throw a bowl of Ramen?" Naruto asked, horrified. He was momentarily distracted by the action his fellow blonde took, so much so that he almost missed her reaching to take his bowl of ramen. Almost. Naruto defended his meal with an angered snarl, curled around it protectively. He would not let this Ramen defiler ruin his beloved meal!
"Yes Bae, murder her! No one will know!"
"We would." Neptune told her.
"No one important would know."
"…Ow. T-That really stung." Neptune's jaw hung open at that.
"Someone had the gall to say some other food was better than Ramen. They had to be educated otherwise." Leone snorted.
"…Bitch!" Nora gapped.
And with those words, any potential amnesty between the two was gone.
"Oh, that makes sense. I wonder who would be stupid enough to speak such blasphemy-Nora! Of course!" Naruto declared as he stacked his now empty third bowl atop the previous two. He scowled and glared at the counter while Leone paid for two more bowls with a couple more cards of lien.
"That your girlfriend's name?" Leone asked curiously.
Nora let out a laugh. "He wishes!"
Yang's fingers twitched at that.
Naruto shook his head.
"Nah, Nora's a friend from Beacon. She's got an obsession with pancakes for some reason." They both snorted at the absurdity of it
"May the Pan curse thee both!" Nora declared their heathenism.
before they dove face-first into the bowls set before them. When they finished and pushed their bowls aside, Naruto rubbed his chin in thought. "Must've been dropped on the head at the breakfast table or something."
"Poor girl." Leone sighed. "I'll have to kill her so she doesn't dishonor the Ramen anymore than she already has."
Nora brought out her hammer. "Bring it, sister!"
"Do it Nora, kill her dead!" Yang cheered her own.
"Can we not try and plot murder?" Ren asked softly.
"I do it all the time." Weiss shrugged.
Ruby's eyes widened. "That explains so much."
"Yeah-Er, wait, no. Don't do that. She's wrong about what is the Heavenly Food, but it is our duty as Ramen-tics that we convert her to our side. Hell, I even started to get Yang into the glory that is Ramen. Sly girl seduced me with it more than once..." Naruto drifted off with a smile on his face as he became lost in her memories.
Leone arched a brow.
"I take it this Yang is your poor girlfriend, then?" she asked, overly casually.
"Yeah...Hey, Yang's not a poor girlfriend-!" Naruto's annoyed defense was cut short by the amused smirk sent his way. He froze in his seat when a fine fingernail gently stroked over his whisker mark.
"She did not-!"
"She did, now shut up." Blake glared at Yang. "I swear, you need therapy."
"Ren can pencil her in, he's a great listener." Nora patted her friend on the shoulder.
Ren just had a pained look on his face.
"Like I said, if she likes it, she should put a ring on it, Tiger." Leone purred softly as she leaned into Naruto's space. She grinned and began actively petting the marks, watching Naruto's eyes become half-lidded by the affectionate touches. "That, or collar you and chain you up in her backyard. Or lock you in a room until she got your bun in her oven."
"I'm sure I've tried." Yang said in defense to her other.
"Woof." Nora simply replied to that, grinning broadly.
Blake glared at her for the noise.
"I'm sure my other doesn't want to be an aunt yet." Ruby highly disagreed.
"Don't...want to be...a parent...oh god, please stop..." Naruto whimpered at the gentle touches being applied to his scars. He was sensitive there, something that Yang has thankfully managed to not figure out yet.
Yang grumbled and pouted over this.
His head turned into Leone's hand and his eyes drifted shut while pleasurable tingles went down his spine. He leaned further out of his seat to follow the touches until her hand swiftly pulled away and he plummeted to the ground.
"All the more reason to get that oven bun-ified." Leone laughed at Naruto's awkward position she lured him into. She pulled the next bowl of Ramen close and casually drank it down. And once that bowl was empty, she snatched the bowl set in front of Naruto's seat.
"Hey!" Naruto protested the act. He shot up to his feet to give the girl a piece of his mind in regards to stealing his Ramen when Leone smirked at him.
"What? I paid for it," she cheekily said to him.
"Clever girl." Coco nodded with a smirk.
Naruto's argument died instantly on his lips. Still heated, he sat back down in his stool with an annoyed pout. The pout disappeared as another bowl was set in front of him. Grateful eyes turned to the smirking chef.
"Good sir...Your kindness knows no bounds." Naruto began, speaking from the bottom of his heart as he took the bowl of ramen and held it aloft like it was a sacred relic. "I shall treasure the half second it took me to eat this bowl of ramen always."
"Only a half second? Wimp." Nora snorted. "I can down a stack of pancakes in a millisecond."
"But how do you savor it?" Yatsuhashi asked her.
"For the love of the Creator, kid, I told you to chew!" The chef cried out in awe at the sight of the instantly vacant bowl. He didn't see the kid move and he knew for a fact that he didn't blink! How'd he eat the bowl so fast?!
Ruby covered her mouth. "That's gross."
"That's you with cookies." Yang reminded her.
"No it's not!"
"Yes it is." Weiss rolled her eyes. "Why do you think we keep the sugar away from you?"
"…Because you're meanies."
"And I did! Why not say anything to her? She's downing hers even faster than I am!" Naruto said whilst he gestured at Leone, who was in the process of licking her bowl dry. She stopped when she realized she was being addressed.
"Oh, that's because I don't have a gag reflex." Leone shrugged and resumed the slow, but rewarding task of cleaning the bowl for all that it's worth.
"…Fuck she's got one up on me." Yang cursed.
"Not now Ruby!"
"That makes perfect-I'm sorry you don't have a what now?" Naruto asked as soon as his brain processed her claim. He immediately lost himself to a fantasy so fiendishly foul that even Jiraiya would've been hesitant to peek in on it if he could have.
Needless to say, it involved a massive bowl of Ichiraku Ramen and three blondes instead of the by now normal two.
Yang suddenly stilled as she was overwhelmed with a sudden (and notably bizarre) urge to throttle someone.
"Hunt them down my sister, their blood calls to be spilled!"
"I don't want to kill people though." Ruby told Yang and tilted her head at the crazy creepy tone the blonde was using.
"Not you Ruby!"
"You said 'sister'! Make sense!"
A big chested, blonde haired someone that had eyes for a Ramen loving fool. Odd, though, she could've sworn she was pretty much the only one she knew who fell under that description.
"Looks like you were wrong~!" Coco sang out.
"Coco, stop antagonizing her." Velvet chided.
"Please Vel, it's hilarious."
"I'll show you hilarious." Yang grunted as she spared Coco a glare.
So wrapped up in her confused wrath, Yang's lack of a decent guard caused her to be kicked clear across the training ground. The buxom brawler crashed into the training ground's bleachers, becoming buried in the rubble. Lilac eyes blinked after she shook off the daze.
Did I just get laid? She wondered. She frowned when she noticed a lack of sweaty, sexy blond boy in her direct vicinity. Nope. Argh! This sucks! I'm so used to getting action that it's throwing me off of my game! It's only been two weeks!
"She must be gone finger crazy. Like Velvet."
"No, Yang usually has that under control." Blake stated knowingly.
Yang looked betrayed at her partner's confession.
"Oh…oops." Blake said, sounding as sincere as an old tour guide.
Ruby blinked, stupefied by the clear shot she managed to get in on her older sister. She looked over at her teammates, who were equally baffled by the successful blow, before robotically she turned back to the rubble that her sister still lay under, bemoaning the lack of sex life and cursing an absent boyfriend who caused the aforementioned lacking sex life.
"Yang?" Ruby hesitantly called. "You okay?"
"Anyone get the color of that bitch?" Yang called back, sounding a bit groggy.
Ruby's eyes swelled up at this, looking hurt at her sister. "Why would you call me that?"
"You knocked me through the bleachers."
Ruby sniffled. "Swear."
"Whatever." Yang rolled her eyes.
Weiss and Blake immediately shared a look before they raced to the outskirts of the training ground.
"Ruby!" They called over their shoulders as they fled.
Their younger friend-slash-team leader gaped at the blatant betrayal, but before she could call them out on it, Ruby had to quickly slice through a tossed bleacher and stare her glowing sister down.
"Thank you," Yang said as her red eyes locked with Ruby's silver. Her knuckles audibly popped as her fingers curled tighter into the palms of her hands.
"Oh, crapbaskets..." Ruby muttered.
"SWEAR!" Everyone called out on Ruby, who looked stunned.
"…There goes my cookie fund."
She set into a ready and defensive stance, her knees bent and her finger on Crescent Rose's trigger. Softly, under her breath, she whispered to her scythe as her sister raced forward. "Protect me, Sweetheart."
"It won't." Yang bluntly said.
Yang, still fumed, turned her eyes towards her two other teammates and slowly lifted her hand to point at them. Weiss and Blake jumped into each others arms, wide eyed and shivering, as the red-eyed gaze of their team's powerhouse stayed on them. They swallowed audibly when Yang began to slowly stalk towards them, undoubtedly to relieve some pent up stress.
"If I don't make it out of this, I want you to have my Ninjas of Love books."
"That is a great deal of trust." Blake told Weiss sternly.
"Like I would want it." Weiss blanched.
"I promise not to burn it, but I won't read it."
"That's all I ask."
Blake grasped Weiss' shoulder firmly. "You're a good friend."
Weiss looked away, unsure ow to feel over this.
While Yang was using her repressed sexual frustration to unleash absolute Hell on her teammates and Naruto was lost in a fantasy that could not be shown for it's sheer graphic nature (on that note: food is not meant to be fun kids, it's meant to be eaten), the rest of Team NHKS were spending time either as part of Kon's border patrol or just relaxing within the village.
Today, for Kurama anyway, it was the latter.
Coco put her hands in the air. "Finally, some spotlight on the other cuties. Mainly Vel's."
Velvet just flopped her ears down at this, her cheeks pink.
He'd taken a quick walk through the village, to soak in the sights, smells and sounds he grew up with before he decided on a whim to pop into a small flower shop.
"Hello and welcome to-Ah, hello Kurama!" A boy about Ruby's age, with brown hair cut like a bowl, glasses and green goggles wrapped around his head, greeted the Faunus. He sniffed up a large dangling line of clear mucus and smiled at the older teen.
"Udon." The fox Faunus gave the boy a half-smile. "Got a part time job, huh?"
"Yeah, well, my condition doesn't let me do much outside of Kon, y'know." Udon shrugged. He had a severe immunity deficiency that had him suffer terrible allergies. On good days, the worst would be the previously mentioned mucus line, which most managed to ignore. On the bad days, Udon would be laid up in bed, and even his mother would find it difficult to make eye contact with the ill boy.
"Eew." Everyone cringed.
Kurama continued to give him a sympathetic smile. His Semblance was hard to control when he was young, so he often got sick by taking in aura from a plethora of people or giving too much aura whenever he made physical contact with someone (mostly Naruto). Without another word, he gathered a bouquet of pink carnations and took it to the counter, where Udon checked him out.
"How's the Boss?" Udon asked as he took the lien set down as payment. Kurama shrugged.
"Probably raving about Ramen if he's not already half dead from whatever training he's going through."
"And flirting." Yang growled.
"Unintentionally." Pyrrha reminded her.
Udon chuckled. "Sounds like him. Tell him I said hi?"
"He'll probably stop by to visit once he's back in town. Just try to keep up the health, Udon. Tell the rest of the Corps I'm only a scroll call away," Kurama said. He gathered his purchase and walked out of the store with a hand raised in farewell.
The destination wasn't far from the flower shop, but with every step the flowers felt heavier. Kurama eventually came upon a dusty old shop, and through the window saw that it was filled with outdated weapon modifications and Dust crystals that were far from being useful to anyone anytime soon, but still had a glow of life about them.
"Oooh, retro." Ruby whispered in glee.
He walked around the corner into an alleyway and continued until he was behind the building.
Three tall slabs of stone were settled along the back, names carved professionally and meticulously in order to withstand time's endless assault on the mineral. Kurama set his bouquet in front of the middle stone and he sat down across from it. He removed his sunglasses and a smile crossed his face. Painfully joyful memories sprang at once to the forefront of his mind, and unbidden tears built up along the rim of his eye.
"Hey, Pops." Kurama croaked out after a long silence. "I'm back. Dammit, wouldn't you know it...Raining, again. What're the odds?"
"That's so sad, it makes me want to cuddle him." Coco frowned.
Velvet nodded in agreement, it was sad, but touching.
"He's so macho about it, just cry and admit it. Ren does it, at least on the inside."
Ren nodded. "It's true."
Sun and Neptune come in at another reading fic (That I haven't uploaded yet). So yeah, surprise?