It's So Easy

"I have to go," he whispered softly, and rolled out of bed.

"Stay…just a little longer?" she pleaded quietly.

"I wish I could…but…it's getting late."

She huffed, and fell back onto her pillow, prompting him to turn around and look at her.

"You're beautiful," he whispered, and fell back onto the bed, caressing her cheek with his finger.

"You're just saying that," she smiled.

"No…I mean it…you are…amazing…inside and out, I love everything about you."

She blushed, and looked down at the blanket that half-covered her body.

"I guess you're forgiven for abandoning me," she giggled.

"You know…you know that it's the last thing in the world I want to do," he sighed sadly, and stood up to finish dressing.

All I want to know

Is when you go

Do you think of me?

Cause I could let you go

But there'd be a hole

Where my heart used to be oh

"Is it, really?" she looked up at him hopefully, and he turned again, as he slipped his arm through the sleeve of his jacket.

"Really what?" he asked playfully.

"Really the last thing you want to do?"

"It is.  I…I think about you all the time.  You are always with me, even when…you're not," he smiled, embarrassed by his own frankness.  He was uncomfortable revealing this kind of raw emotion.

She knew this, and she smiled at his effort.  He was…adorable.  And she loved him more than she'd ever loved anyone.

"It's just…so easy to love you.  And I do.  I love you," he said, and tears lined his eyes.

She pulled herself up and out of bed, letting the sheets fall away from her, exposing herself physically just as he had exposed himself emotionally.  She wiped the tears from his eyes, and pulled him toward her.

"I feel the same way…I've never loved anyone like I love you," she whispered.

"It's so damn easy, in this room, with you.  And I walk out the door, and everything changes, and it becomes this horribly complex thing, and I…I hate the world outside this door."

It's so easy holding you near

I could melt in your arms and disappear

Loving you baby is breaking my heart tonight

It's so easy but it isn't right

"But you have to go…it's only right," she let him go, and backed away from him.  He looked at her, his eyes absorbing every piece of her, his heart aching at the thought of not being with her.  She smiled, a simple smile, but it was enough…it was more than enough—it sent him careening over a dangerous edge.  He pulled off his jacket, and took a giant step toward her, his lips colliding with hers, as they fell backwards onto the bed, their passion overwhelming them.

He didn't see her for three days, mostly because of the holidays.  It was driving him mad.  He was on the brink of a total breakdown, simply because he needed to see her, touch her, taste her, for just a moment.  He loved her, he knew that, and he couldn't have her, and it was killing him, a little more every day.

He was walking toward her apartment, taking the chance that she may be there, and that she was hurting from longing too.  Out of nowhere, he saw her, on the opposite side of the street, walking his way.  He caught her eye, and she shot him a warning glance before walking away.  He knew that there was danger—but the glimpse he'd had of her was not enough…she was like a drug…a drug he was addicted to.  He turned and crossed the street, carefully looking over his shoulder as he approached her from behind.

She heard him approach; she felt his eyes on her.  She smiled, and stealthfully turned down a darkened alleyway.   She needed him, and her heart raced as she turned and saw that he had followed.  She smiled, her first real smile in three days, as he made his way toward her.  Thunder rolled and lightning flashed, and a torrential rain fell in sheets into the tiny walkway.  They ignored the rain, they ignored the homeless man that was passed out in the back of the alley, and they ignored the cat that bolted for shelter as the rain flooded the alley floor.  He pushed her up against the brick wall, and drowned her in kisses; in love and passion.

I saw you today

You walked away

And I couldn't breathe

Cause I know how it will feel

It's a love so real

When you're touching me

It was fast and it was uncomfortable, but their hunger for each other would not allow them to move to another locale.  The rain drenched them, and the drunken homeless man began to snore, but none of it stopped them from taking the risk—and neither of them would ever have sex like that with anyone else.  When it was over, they continued kissing, knowing that they would have to walk away separately—knowing that they had to go opposite ways on the same road.

It's so easy holding you near

I could melt in your arms and disappear

Loving you baby is breaking my heart tonight

It's so easy but it isn't right

Another week went by, and finally, he was able to come by.  She made sure everything was perfect, but all he wanted to do was kiss her, and hold her, and make love to her, all night long.  She reveled in everything, absorbed all of him.  She would hold all of it in her memories, for years to come.  For she would never know love like this again—he was the only one that would ever make her feel so complete.

It would never be this easy again.

Every night I lay here alone

After you leave me and go home

She doesn't know that we can't let go

And it's hurting me so

He walked out that night, and she cried, knowing that it would never get better.  He went back to his wife, and to the life he didn't want, but was obligated to keep—his wife was his best friend's sister after all.

It's so easy holding you near

I could melt in your arms and disappear

Loving you baby is breaking my heart tonight

It's so easy but it isn't right

Baby it's so easy.

A week later, he appeared at her door, tears in his eyes.

"My God, Chandler what's wrong?"

"I love you…and I don't love her, and I think she's pregnant.  I…I feel like I'm living someone else's life.  I…" Chandler walked into the apartment, and collapsed onto the sofa.

"Shhh, it's okay.  I'm here, tell me what I can do."

"Just…let me love you," he whispered sadly, "I can't live without you, Mon…I can't."

"It's So Easy", Sheryl Crow/Kathryn Crow

AN: This story will not be continued.