Note: Well, this is the end, I hope it doesn't suck too much . If anyone has suggestions on how I could make the ending better I'd be glad to hear them!
On Monday afternoon, after soccer practice, off season and indoors due to it being winter, Tai stopped by Matt's apartment to hang out for the evening. He opened the door without bothering to ring the buzzer, took his shoes and coat off, and dropped his equipment bag on the floor.
"Hey Matt," he said, walking into his friend's bedroom and finding him sitting on the bed with his guitar.
"Hey Tai," he said happily. The soccer player sat himself down on the end of the bed and Matt put his guitar back in the case.
"You have a lot of guitars and stuff," Tai said, looking around and counting three guitar cases, one of which he knew held Matt's favorite bass.
"Well I'm in a band, duh." He laid back and spread out on his bed, Tai stayed sitting. Matt glanced up and saw his partner was looking dejected and playing with his fingers. He rubbed Tai's arm with his foot to get his attention.
"You've looked so down in the dumps lately, what's wrong?" he asked when Tai looked over at him.
"Oh, I'm only madly in love with you..." Tai thought, but his reply came as simply, "Nothing."
Matt sighed and looked back up at the ceiling, "Whatever you say."
"Oh, you know that calc test I had today?" He asked the little brunette after saying nothing for several minutes.
"Yeah, how'd you do?"
"I passed," he said, grinning, "I got an 85."
"Good job Matt, see I told you that you just needed to study."
"Actually... I think I've felt a lot better after getting everything off my chest. Telling you, well, you know.... I've been able to concentrate again." He said, letting his eyes wander to his ceiling once again.
"Yeah..." Tai sighed. At least one of them had gotten everything off their chest. If only he could find a way to tell Matt how much he cared for him. He couldn't think about anything else, but still didn't know how to show his feelings. What was he supposed to say, 'I'm gay and I love you'? Tai wondered if he would ever be able to find the right words.
"He told me.... why can't I tell him." He thought.
"Hey.... Tai." The tall boy sat up and inched over next to his friend. He pursed his lips for a moment, as if he was getting ready to say something important.
"What is it?" he asked.
Matt took a deep breath and then took Tai's hands in his own. Tai looked at the blue eyes staring intently back at him and wondered what Matt was planning to do. His heart started to beat faster.
"Now that you know how I really am... I need to ask you something."
"What...?" Tai swallowed nervously.
"Would you like to be my boyfriend?"
Tai nearly had a heart attack, his round eyes opening as wide as they could go. Could this be another dream? It didn't even seem like this situation could really be happening. A million thoughts started flying through his head, he was confused, he had no idea what to do. How could Matt possibly know he loved him, he had never spoken a word about it to him, and now this tall blonde beauty was asking him the question he had been waiting to hear for so long. He opened his mouth and tried to think of some kind of reply. He wanted to just confess his love, he wanted to say yes, he wanted to be with Matt forever and be happy.
But instead... he did the stupidest thing he could have possibly done.
"No!!" He shot up off the bed and pushed Matt's hands away. "What would make you think I was like that anyway!?" He yelled.
"But... Kari told me...."
So Kari had let Matt in on his little secret. Now Tai completely lost control, he became so overwhelmed with emotion he stopped thinking and just let random words pour out. His fear had taken over.
"Well Kari lied, ok!?" He shouted at him. "We're friends, that's it!"
Matt looked like someone had just run him over with a truck. Tai had his teeth clenched and could feel himself starting to cry.
"Tai... I love you...."
Taichi felt like his heart was going to explode. In his head, he wanted to yell that he loved him too. Those words, unfortunately, never made their way to Matt's ears.
"GET OUT OF MY LIFE YOU SICK FAGGOT!!" Tai screamed at the top of his lungs. He ran out of Matt's bedroom, shoved his feet into his sneakers and left the apartment, slamming the door behind him with all his strength. Outside, freezing rain had begun to fall, and he ran all the way home without looking back, unable to even grasp what he had just done.
Matt sat on his bed in disbelief. His mouth half open, he stayed alone in his room for almost an hour trying to figure out what had gone wrong. When the harsh reality of what had happened finally sunk in, he stood and made his way out of the room to the medicine cabinet, not knowing how he could go on without his Taichi.
When Tai arrived home, it was nearly midnight. He had reached his apartment building that afternoon, looked up at it, and decided he wanted to punish himself. So he walked around in the rain all evening and half the night. He was freezing cold, knew he might get pneumonia, but didn't care. At this point he didn't care whether he lived or died. He had just broken his best friend's heart, and most likely lost him forever.
How could he be so foolish, how could he just push him away like that? After yearning to be with him all this time, he had blown his only chance for them to be together. It seemed like his whole life had just fractured and started to fall apart.
"I hate this...." he said out loud, as he opened the front door and stepped inside.
He entered and for some reason, Kari was waiting for him. She looked upset, and almost began weeping when she saw her brother. His hair, clothes, and even his eyelashes were covered in ice. She could tell he had been crying, his eyes were red, his nose was running.
He glared at her, remembering suddenly how she had betrayed his trust. He had never been angry at his little sister before.
"How could you do this to me Kari!? You promised not to tell anyone!" He yelled.
"I was just trying to help!" She cried, starting to feel panicked. "And there's something I need to tell you," she added.
"Whatever it is, it can wait till tomorrow..." He said, holding his head and turning away. "I don't care about anything anymore."
"NO! It can't wait," she shouted at him. He looked back at her, why was she crying?
"It's Matt..." she whispered so softly he could barely hear. "Mr. Ishida just called, he had to be rushed to the hospital..."
Tai's breath caught in his throat. He blinked a few times, stared at her.
"Which hospital..." He said in a low voice.
"The memorial hospital down town," she told him, still sobbing. "I don't know what happened today, but I know he loves you Tai, and you love him too! You can't hide it anymore, now you have to go and tell him." She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand but kept crying, not knowing what would happen to her brother if Matt died.
"Beg for his forgiveness before it's too late."
He just stood there for several minutes, then turned on the spot and raced out of the apartment to hail a cab.
After yanking open the emergency room door, the tan boy raced up to the desk, his heart pounding. The only one in sight was the receptionist, he saw no other patients. He wondered where Matt was, where the doctors were. Images of Matt lying on an operating table, his pearly skin soaked with blood, filled Tai's mind.
"Is my boyfriend here!? Matt Ishida, he's tall and blonde. His dad brought him in a little while ago. He... I think he tried to kill himself..." Tai wondered why he was calling Matt his boyfriend, he had rejected him. He'd probably never even speak to him again after this...
"He's in the examining room down the hall---"
"Ok thanks!" Tai interrupted, and dashed down the hallway.
"But you're not really supposed to be in there!" she called after him.
Tai walked up to the room and saw that the door was open. He paused, afraid of what he might find when he got inside. What if his closest friend was going to die because of him?
When he looked inside, there was the tall, pale teenager, lying on the bed, in just his socks and a hospital gown. He had a metal tray next to him and an IV stuck into the back of his hand. He appeared to be sleeping peacefully, and even in an ugly white gown, he still looked beautiful to Tai.
He stepped up to the bed and sat on the only chair in the room, a metal stool with wheels. He took Matt's hand in his, careful not to disturb the IV, and began to cry as he watched him lie there.
Two blue eyes opened slowly, and their owner turned his head slightly to see a head of bushy brown hair, sobbing into the bed beside him.
The head of brown hair rose and Tai's eyes met his own. He sniffed back a sob and his lower lip quivered.
"You're ok..." He squeezed Matt's hand gently and reached up to smooth out his blonde hair, which he saw was not in its usually perfect condition.
"What happened," Tai said softly.
"Took about 30 aspirins when my dad came home and caught me," he looked down at the IV in his hand, which Tai was still holding. "The doctor said I might have bled to death internally if I hadn't got here in time."
"Matt.... I'm sorry," Tai said, running his hand through his friend's soft hair over and over. "Those things I said, I didn't mean any of it, I swear."
Matt turned away and sighed.
"Please forgive me."
Instead of being angry, or crying, or yelling, or telling him to go away, he looked up at Tai and smiled. He brought his other arm across the bed, and surrounded Tai's smaller hand in both of his own, bringing it up to his mouth to kiss his tan fingers.
"Oh Matt..." Tai leaned his head over and pressed his lips delicately to those of the figure lying on the bed. Matt kissed back and put his arm around Tai, pulling him closer. He could taste salt from the tears that had run into the corners of Tai's mouth but savored every second.
They parted, and smiled at each other. The leader of the Digidestined had never imagined his first kiss would be in an emergency room, but he didn't mind at all.
"And...about the question you asked before," Tai said, thought somewhat hesitantly, "The answer is yes."
"It better be after all this," Matt replied, grinning. Tai also grinned, he suddenly could not help himself.
"So is anything on under this hospital gown?" He asked, lifting up the corner and giggling.
"My underwear...." Matt replied as he batted Tai's hand away and blushed.
"Where is your dad anyway?"
"He went outside to have a cigarette about a half hour ago, he's probably wondering where he failed as a father or something."
"This is all my fault..." Tai said quietly.
"Hey, I said I forgive you, ok?" He reached up and ran a long delicate finger down Tai's cheek.
"Matt I love you," he finally said. Though it had taken Matt nearly committing suicide for him to say it, he meant it with all his heart.
"I love you too," was the answer, and Tai was happy at last.
They sat together for a little while, holding hands, talking about everything that had happened and enjoying each other's company now that the truth was known.
Tai had leaned over on the bed so his head was resting on the pillow next to Matt's. Every so often, when a break came in the conversation, Tai would kiss Matt on the cheek and giggle. He couldn't believe how lucky he was, even after all the lying he had done, he had still been forgiven. Not only had he kept his secret from his family and all his friends, he had lied to himself. Then he remembered what his little sister had said,
"You're going through a change, and it's not going to be an easy one."
It definitely had not been. But it seemed he, and Matt, had survived it.
"Are you staying overnight?" Tai asked, when it had reached around 1:30 am.
"Yeah... You should probably get home though."
"No, I'm staying with you."
He draped one arm across Matt's chest and snuggled closer to him.
"I'm going to have a lot of explaining to do to my parents tomorrow," he said, as he felt Matt's fingers sifting through his hair.
"Don't worry, I'll help you out," he said to Tai.
"Does you dad know... you know, why all this happened?"
"Not exactly," the blonde answered. "I guess I have a lot of explaining to do too, huh?"
"Matt... whatever happens, please don't ever try to leave me again."
"I won't Taichi, I won't."
Then, the nurse entered to room to check on her patient, and Tai sat up quickly.
"How are you doing Yamato? Oh, and who is your visitor?" She asked when she saw Tai sitting next to the bed.
He smiled up at the boy he had known for so long, and held Tai's hand close to his heart.
"My boyfriend..." he replied.