This is what happens when I watch Pretty Woman again. Sorry/not sorry.


Penny loved to watch Sheldon play the piano. He had gotten better at it recently since he was teaching their daughter Vivian how to play. Even though Vivian was not especially great at it, (she would have preferred to be playing with Richard, the golden retriever, outside in the yard), Sheldon was so patient with her, showing her over and over again until she got it down. But when Sheldon was alone at the piano, and his eyes were closed and the most amazing, poetic sounds came from the keys, Penny fell in love all over again. And, oh, yeah... it also turned her on more than she could possibly bear.

On one particular occasion, Penny was drinking some wine and watching a movie in the kitchen of their lovely, comfortable house in the hills of Los Angeles, when she heard beautiful music coming from the living room. She found herself drawn to it; to him, as she always did. Sheldon-her husband, her best friend, her rock. He was playing Beethoven, she observed with a smile. Beethoven had always been her favorite, which Sheldon, of course, knew.

"Hi, honey," Penny said, and sat next to him on the piano bench. He scooted over to allow her more room. In the not-so-distant past, Sheldon would have been irritated and/or annoyed that she was interrupting his music, but ever since he finally won the Nobel Prize, he'd been a lot more mellow.

"Hello," Sheldon said, and continued to play Moonlight Sonata. Penny watched his fingers dance on the keys, his eyes closed, his head slightly moving in rhythm. She could feel her knees getting weak, although she was already sitting down. She scooted closer to him until she was basically in his lap.

When the song ended, Penny grabbed his hand so he'd look at her. When he did, she kissed him. A lot. Sheldon was still kind of new at the kissing thing when they first got together, but he figured out what she liked, and they figured out together what he liked, and it was a fascinating journey.

When they finally came up for air, Penny said, "You know, I was watching Pretty Woman a few minutes ago…"

"I know," Sheldon replied. "Why do you think I started playing this piano?"

Penny grinned. "Well, it's a good thing Vivian's spending the night at her BFF's tonight, isn't it?" She bit his ear, which she knew drove him a little crazy-in a good way. Sheldon was well aware of the effect the move had on her, and especially the piano scene. She had seen it at a young age, and it imprinted something important in her psyche. And as much as Sheldon used to resist intimacy, and even though it wasn't too high on his list of priorities in their marriage (something Penny had long come to peace with), he still loved a good opportunity to please Penny, and maybe himself along the way.

Sheldon played the piano for her on their second official date. They were at an Italian food restaurant and Sheldon found himself drawn to the piano. And while he played a Billy Joel song, Penny sat and watched him, knowing that she was in love with him, and probably had been for a very long time, at least in some kind of subtle way.

Penny's divorce from Leonard had just become final, and Sheldon was still a little heartbroken from his break-up with Amy, and somehow they decided to seek shelter in each other. It was desperately slow-going at first; Penny had never been in a relationship without intimacy and Sheldon was used to more academic discussions than Penny could offer, although god knows she tried. Eventually it got easier, and they became more comfortable with each other's wants and needs. Penny never pushed him for intimacy, and he never tried to make her into an Amy 2.0. It wasn't the kind of love Penny ever saw herself falling into, but it was better. They were always teaching each other in new and different ways, and it was so exciting to Penny, even though all her past relationships were so much different. They made love for the first time on their wedding night, and Penny found herself enjoying teaching him new things, and Sheldon cautiously enjoyed learning them. They didn't have sex frequently, but when they did, it was explosive.

With Sheldon's encouragement, Penny started auditioning for things again, and eventually she met a casting director who believed in her. She wasn't winning Academy Awards yet or anything, but Penny had been in a few movies, and she was up for a part in a big TV show that promised a very lucrative and fulfilling future. Sheldon had his Nobel, she had her acting career, and they both had Vivian, who was a handful but worth every second of it. Life was good.

At the piano, Sheldon kissed Penny again, and it was hotter than the last kiss, and it promised a very intriguing evening ahead. Although it would have been more interesting if Penny was wearing her lingerie and robe, on this night, she was in a tank top and shorts, her favorite household uniform. On the bench, with Richard taking a nap a few feet away in his well-worn doggie bed, they made out like teenagers. Sheldon, much to his surprise and her benefit, loved exploring her body with his mouth. He said it was like the most interesting experiment he'd ever participated in, which Penny accepted happily.

Soon enough, Penny moved to the piano and sat on the keys, making them play a random, brief tune. Normally this would have made Sheldon crazy, but he could make an exception to devour his wife from time to time.

Sheldon moved the bench closer to the piano, and then lowered the straps on Penny's tank top and kissed down her neck to her breasts. She moaned a little, which only turned him on more. She liked turning him on. It was maybe one of her favorite things to do. She arched her back with pleasure when his tongue connected with a nipple, and her ass connected with more of the piano keys. It made everything that much more intriguing, to have a soundtrack to their passion.

While finding her other nipple and licking it softly, then sucking it, then biting it a little, Sheldon's warm hand was traveling up Penny's thighs. Oh, how she loved his hands, even from the beginning, when Sheldon didn't know what to do with them. His hand found its way to under her shorts, where he caressed her through her panties. Sheldon loved to tease Penny and leave her wanting so much more.

Just as Penny thought she couldn't take much more, Sheldon stood up and kissed her, hard, against the piano. Penny laid back on it, just like Julia did in the movie, and he took her shirt off, her flimsy bra, her tiny shorts, and her underwear, and ran his hands down her body. The coldness of the piano reacting to the heat of her body turned her senses all the way up to 11, and then Sheldon started kissing his way down. He knew all the right places to kiss to make her shiver with pleasure-and they were only getting started. Sheldon parted her legs and finally stuck his hand in her underwear, feeling the warmth. He touched her clit, making her moan uncontrollably, and then two fingers were inside of her, moving in and out and causing an eruption that she couldn't contain.

"You're so wet," he whispered in her ear. Back when they were first exploring the idea of sex and intimacy, Sheldon was so fascinated by how wet Penny would get when he touched her. It was nearly scientific to him. And Penny would explain how much he turned her on, and that's why she was always ready for him.

They were kissing again, while Sheldon kept his fingers going rhythmically inside of her. Penny bit his lip, and he bit her back-something he wasn't sure he'd enjoy doing, but eventually found pleasurable.

When Penny was about to scream for mercy, she touched his hand and said, "Okay, why don't you sit back down and play for me? I'll make it worth your while."

Sheldon kind of grinned, and sat back down at the bench. Penny sat in front of the bench and slowly took his pants off, and then his underwear, revealing one of the most impressive parts of the adventure they were on. Again, when they were first exploring intimacy in their relationship, it was killing Penny to find out what he had going on in his pants, and when she finally got to experience it, she realized it was well worth the wait. Sheldon had a lovely, beautiful, and functional cock. And she loved making him feel the pleasure he missed out on for so long in his life.

She stroked him for a bit, listening to his fingers on the piano keys and the drawing of his breath. Sheldon loved to be touched, but he hated asking for it. As a result, Penny sometimes had a hard time figuring out when exactly he was in the mood for such things. Only rarely would he initiate, but most of the time when she was feeling more frisky than usual (she kept a vibrator in a drawer to satisfy her low-key needs), she'd touch him and gauge his reaction. It could be frustrating, but Penny had learned to enjoy the challenge of guessing when he was in the mood and when he wasn't. Sometimes she was wrong, but most of the time she was right on target.

When Penny could tell he was ready for more, she took him in her mouth. Now, Penny didn't know much about politics or physics; she didn't go to a fancy college and never considered herself a genius, but she knew how to give a blowjob. The first time she put her lips on him, Sheldon couldn't believe the sensations he was feeling. She had her own technique, one that had made her very popular in the past. She put various amounts of pressure on his cock from her lips and tongue and hand, and soon, he was moaning along with the music he was playing. And right before things got out of hand, he got up, lifted Penny from the floor, and led her to the bedroom. Penny loved the bedroom; they had a huge king-sized canopy bed that she loved with all her heart, and more importantly, that they both fit into.

Sheldon laid her not-so-gently on the bed, and again they were kissing, and he was touching her, and she was touching him, and all she wanted was him inside of her-but he wasn't ready for that. He had another plan first, which involved slowly making his way down her stomach with his tongue. When it made it to her clit, she moaned loudly, and when he stuck two fingers inside her, she almost immediately came right then and there. He worked his tongue around her clit and inside of her with measured control, knowing what to do to make her absolutely insane for him. This was not something he did often, so when it did happen, Penny savored the delicious sensation of his tongue on her heat.

Just as she was about to pass out from the sensations; just as he was teasing her into an absolute frenzy, he finally held on to her hips and slide into her, which she greeted hungrily. Again, in the beginning, sex did not come naturally to Sheldon and Penny spent a lot of time patiently guiding him; showing him what pleased her and experimenting to see what he enjoyed. It turned Penny on to be his sexual teacher, though, and it wasn't long before they found a pace that fit them both perfectly. Sometimes she'd voice an idea or a fantasy, which he was either into or wasn't. And every now and then, he'd share one with her. As it turned out, Sheldon liked to watch Penny touch herself, which she did gladly.

They didn't need condoms, as Sheldon had a vasectomy after Vivian was born. So Penny bit her lip as Sheldon entered her. He bent down to kiss her while he moved through her, touching her breasts and making her dizzy with sensual desire for her husband. Every move he made, she wanted more and more and more. He was so good at this-of course he was; Sheldon Cooper was good at everything he tried to do. And he even let her get on top after a bit. Penny loved watching his face as she rode him; she loved feeling his heat as she went up and down and performed all her secret tricks to drive him crazy. She loved to turn Sheldon on, and she loved to make him come. Which he didn't do for a while, as it was not over quickly. That was another thing Penny loved about Sheldon-his staying power.

Immediately after, Sheldon raced to the bathroom, where Penny heard the sounds of the shower running. She didn't take it personally-that was just Sheldon's thing. Compromise was the key to their marriage, and to their sexual relationship. It took some getting used to, but now their marriage was easy, satisfying, comfortable, and important. Penny didn't realize that when she met him for the first time and was impressed by his white boards, he'd become the love of her life. She had to make a few mistakes to get there, but she was happy with how it turned out.

A few minutes later, Sheldon came back to bed, and they held each other and talked about what to have for dinner. Vivian would be back in the morning, and they'd probably take a hike somewhere in the hills, with Richard along for the ride. Tangled up in the sheets together, Sheldon's strong arms around her, Penny again was reminded of how lucky she was. Sheldon never had to be her knight in shining armor-Penny didn't need saving-but he was always there when she needed him, and that was all she wanted. That, and some good piano sex.