I always knew that I would one day have to be escorted home with my hands behind my back, but I assumed it would be by a police man holding my hands in place with handcuffs, not a bunch of pretty girls that held me in place using rope.
I guess crazier things have happened though. I guess the current chapter of my life has been pretty strange, so I shouldn't really be surprised. As we walked to my house, Janna and Leah, who have somehow fooled themselves into thinking that they know anything about law, attempted to read me my Miranda rights.
Or as Janna called it, my "America rights."
It was just as fun as you think. I'll admit though, a part of me found it amusing that Janna couldn't even remember what the first law was. After they showed off their lack of knowledge in law, they, for some reason, decided to just recite the bill of rights. They somehow fucked that up as well for they couldn't remember what right number seven was.
Granted, neither can I, but no one needs to know that.
Hope was just as annoyed with Janna and Leah as I was, but I could tell she was more annoyed by the fact that I wouldn't tell her what I was planning to burn down. Underneath the current rough interior she was sporting, it was obvious that she was just using to hide the mist of worry that surrounded her.
It was no secret to me that all my friends thought I was insane, or at least, close to becoming insane. I've never heard them talk about it, but I'm not stupid, their eyes tell the entire narrative.
Every time they look at me, every time they say something nice to me, I can tell what they're thinking. I'm sure the only person who doesn't think of me as a loon is Star. My other friends are a different story. While I genuine believe they like me, especially Jackie, I know that they think of me as a crazy person. And tonight's event didn't really help matters.
"Y'know", Hope began causing me to come out of my thoughts, "I figured that you would at least try and escape." She seemed to be a bit disappointed in how easily I let myself get tied up.
"I wouldn't even dare try to escape the clutches of the girl scout knot", I said sarcastically.
Janna chuckled, "She wishes she could tie like a girl scout."
Hope seemed hurt by comment, but she focused on keeping my hands in place. "I kinda agree with Hope", Leah said while continuing to look ahead of her, "I half expected you to break out and run to the hills."
"Oh believe me, I was planning to", I said deciding to tell the truth, "But I know that Jackie's already pissed at me and Star's probably worried sick, so I don't want to tempt fate even more."
"Oh, so you're scared of your girlfriends", Janna said with a smug grin.
I rolled my eyes, "No, I'm scared of getting nagged at."
"By your girlfriends."
"They aren't my girlfriends."
"That's not what Star told me."
"I don't care what Star told you."
"You should." Her voice suddenly had a different tone to it. Like she was getting frustrated. Why would she be getting frustrated? It's not like she's the one being escorted back to her fucking house with her hands loosely tied behind her back.
Even though I and everyone else could tell that something was beginning to eat away at her, I decided to egg on Janna a bit more, "And why should I care what Star told you?"
"Because she m..."
Janna trailed off, and that worried me. Any other time, she was running her mouth and cracking jokes, and always willing to annoy anyone at anytime with a snarky comment. Everyone liked her that way, and no one wanted to see her any other way. Which is why seeing her cut herself off was really odd.
It seemed I wasn't the only one who noticed this to, as I could see Leah looking at Janna with a concerned expression. I couldn't see Hope's face, for she was still behind me, but I assumed that she was concerned for her friend and was also wondering what caused her to stop.
Although I was glad she stopped taunting me, I have to admit, I was also wondering what caused her to stop. It's not like what Star said was so important. And regardless of what she said, serious or not, why would she tell Janna and not me?
Didn't she think of me as her protector? Wouldn't that make her want to tell me everything that was bothering her? Maybe it was some girl stuff that boys weren't supposed to hear? That would be understandable.
But would Star understand that there are things you aren't supposed to talk to boys about? She's from a different dimension, I'm sure they don't have the same social rules there as they do here.
Or maybe they do. I mean, they have puppies in Mewni, they might have boundaries as well.
"Goddammit!", I shouted out in frustration.
"What's wrong?", Hope asked obviously startled by my outburst.
"I'm caring!", I yelled.
Leah turned to me with a bewildered expression, "Huh?"
"Janna! What did Star say to you?
Janna, who had also stopped walking at this point, refused to turn around and look at me. She crossed her arms and started to lightly stomp her foot on the ground. She appeared to either be cursing herself for almost letting that earlier sentence slip, or thinking of a convincing lie.
I easily slipped out of my rope handcuffs and turned Janna around to face me. "I'm not gonna ask again, Janna", I said while clutching on to her arm with a light grip, "What did Star say to you?"
For a brief second, Janna attempted to hide the fact that she wasn't afraid of the lunatic gripping her arm and boldly said, "Geez Marco, what crawled your butt an-OW!"
I applied a little more pressure on Janna's arm, not too much, just enough to let her know that I wasn't in the mood for her jokes. Apparently it caused her a lot more pain than I was expecting it to.
Janna snatched her arm out my hand and grasped it. She breathed in through her teeth and looked at me with a ticked off look. "Jesus! Will you calm down!?"
Leah, who was now hiding behind Janna, look over the girl's shoulder and said, "That escalated quickly."
Hope attempted, and failed, to cause me some bodily harm by punching me in the arm. If I didn't know any better I'd say I just got hit by a malnourished child. After her single punch was futile, she began to punch me in the arm continuously. It still didn't hurt me, but I decided to put it to an end before it became annoying.
I stopped her fist mid punch and put both of her arms to her side. I looked at her straight in the eyes and said, "I'm sorry to become aggressive so quickly.."
I looked at Janna and continued, "But I really don't like when people keep things from me. Especially when they involve Star."
Janna growled and flipped me off, "You don't have any right to judge me for keeping secrets. You're hiding alot of stuff from everyone."
I rolled my eyes and sighed, "You're right. I am hiding alot. I'm sorry. Now tell me what Star said."
"You don't sound sorry", Janna said crossing her arms around her chest.
I walked up to Janna and raised my hands in the air. She seemed confused as to what I was doing. Then, in the most overdramatic voice possible, I yelled, "OH PRINCESS JANNA OF DICKHEAD LAND! I APOLOGISE FOR OFFENDING YOU! NOW PLEASE, TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK STAR SAID!"
Hope and Leah covered my mouth while Janna erupted into hysterical laughter. The two girls that were covering my mouth looked around to make sure that no one was woken up by my unusual outburst. No lights went on and no one looked out their windows.
After her laughter calmed down, Janna breathlessly said, "Well, I guess that apology will work."
I pushed Leah and Hope off and me and asked, "Alright, tell me what Star said."
Janna's smile faded away and she sighed lightly. Without a hint of sarcasm or any sign of her being insincere, she said, "Star said that there's a good chance that her parents might find her, so she wants to marry you so they can't take her away."
My stomach became filled with annoying little butterflies as I processed Janna's statement. Star wanted to marry me. I shouldn't be surprised. She thinks I'm the greatest person on this planet, and I was her first kiss. Well, her first kiss with someone that wasn't going to betray her.
She couldn't marry me though. Not only because we were way too young, and knowing her, she probably wanted to marry me tommorow morning, but because I'm not worthy of her. She's a literal princess. A goddess in my opinion. And she wanted to marry me?
It sounds like a really bad joke, but it was my reality.
My amazing best friend thought I was as equally as amazing as her, and that simply wasn't true.
"What are you thinking?", Hope asked me now standing in front of me.
"I'm thinking that I should tell my parents to hide their wedding rings", I said.
"I'm being serious."
"So am I", I said as I started to walk ahead of them and tried to leave them behind. Without turning to face them, I said, "Go home. I can walk myself."
I hoped that they would follow my instructions and leave me alone, but of course, Janna ran up to me, turned me around, and attempted to slap me in the face. Despite my surprise, I managed to grab her arm mid motion and place it on her side.
"What the hell, Janna?", I asked.
"Do you even care about, Star?", Janna asked seething, "Are you even gonna say anything about the fact that she wants to marry you?"
It took me a moment to comprehend what was happening before I responded to her, "Of course I care, but what do you want me to say? She's in love with me. We all knew that."
"It's not just Star, it's Jackie to", Janna said while balling up her fist, "Janna and Star both love you, but you never do anything about it. I don't know when you're gonna choose to love, but you better do it quick."
I narrowed my eyes at Janna and walked up to her to face her face to face, "Do you really think I needed that spelt out for me? I know that they love me Janna, and I'm honored to have their love, but how do you expect me to choose between them?"
"I don't know", Janna said, "I'm not gonna pretend like I understand what it feels like to be in the situation you're in, and I won't pretend like the choice you have to make is an easy one, but I'm just letting you know that you can't keep them waiting any longer."
I became silent and thought about Janna's words. She was talking about this topic like she's experienced this type of thing before, but a part of me still wanted to ignore her. She herself admitted that she's never been in my situation before, but for some reason, she spoke like she was the ideal person to take advice from.
Then again, she is a social butterfly, someone who knows how people work. Maybe she's seen this type of thing happen before. Or maybe she's just seen it on television. Sure, that's not exactly what I'd call 'experience', but its better than my social feeble-mindedness.
"Alright Janna, dazzle me, what could happen if I don't pick one to love?", I asked waiting expectingly.
"I don't know", Janna said with a shrug.
"Gee thanks!, Janna!", I said with overdramatic fake appreciation, "I'll definitely take that into consideration!"
Janna sneered, "How am I supposed to predict how they'll act if you wait too long?"
"I don't know!", I said unaware that I was still speaking in a loud voice, "You somehow seem to know everything all of sudden!"
"I don't know anything! I just want you to stop leading my friends on!"
"What the fuck does that even mean!?"
Janna rolled her arm back and attempted to go for another punch, but she thought against it when she saw me getting prepared to stop her fist. She put her hand toward her side and glared at Marco while breathing heavily through her nose.
"Fuck this", Janna said with venom in her voice, "I'm going home."
Janna turned away and began to walk home. I wanted to be a dick head and wave goodbye to her while wishing death upon her, but luckily, I was smart enough to just let it go.
Hope and Leah stood in silence as they watched Janna walk away. As soon as Janna was out of their sight, they turned back to me. The two girls obviously didn't know what to do, so I told them, "Go home. Like I said, I can walk myself."
I turned away and began to walk home before they could even respond, and luckily they didn't.
As much as I tried to move on from what just happened, I couldn't get Janna's words out of my mind. What did leading her friends on mean? Was it truly as bad as she was making it sound?
"Dammit", I thought, "Sometimes I wish I never met these people."
Luckily enough, I could see my house in the distance, so I didn't have to think about these things for much longer. My somewhat relief was soon replaced with a feeling of worry when I saw Star and Jackie standing on the porch. My overprotective instincts immediately caused me to think of some ridiculous reason why they might be outside at this hour.
Crazy ideas like a gas leak to tainted drinking water filled my mind as I walked closer and closer to my friends. They hadn't noticed me. As I walked closer to her, I saw that both had a look of concern on their face, probably pertaining to my dissapearance. Jackie in particular looked a little more on edge.
As soon as my foot touched the steps of my house, Star turned to my direction and smiled. She approuched me with open arms and hugged me as if I had been gone for years.
"I was so worried about you", Star said with a shaky voice, "I just woke up and you were gone. Jackie was angry for some reason and I just wanted you to come back."
Guilt came over me as I hugged her back. I certaintly didn't mean to worry her. I was about ready to apologise to her when I felt a sharp pain in my behind. I let out a quick, high pitched scream and tightened my grip on Star to take my mind off the pain.
As soon as the pain subsided, I let go of Star and turned around to see Jackie standing behind me holding a belt in her right hand. She was, as I predicted, pretty mad.
"Are you crazy?", Jackie asked.
"Don't answer that", she said as she pinched the bridge of her nose, "I'll ask you this, what made you think that that was a good idea?"
"Whether it was a good idea or not doesn't matter, they deserved what I was gonna do to them, and you know it", I said as I rubbed my now sore behind, "Also, you are not my mother, you don't get to spank me on the behind."
She raised the belt over her head as if she was gonna hit me again and smirked, "What's wrong, Marco? Not into kinky shit?"
My eyes went wide and my cheeks went red, "...That's not funny."
"What's going on?", Star asked clearly confused.
"I'm in trouble with Jackie", I said bluntly. Star nodded her head in understandment. "Listen, both of you, it's late and my parents aren't going to be too happy if they see us out here, let's just go inside."
Jackie, with the belt now around her waist, rolled her eyes and mummbled something under her breath about me suddenly caring about getting in trouble. Star on the hand, who already seemed tired, was ready to go inside without question.
"How long have you two been outside?", I asked.
"About 55 millyseconds", Star said.
I looked over to Jackie who said, "About an hour."
I nodded and made my way to the door. Being the smart ass that I am, I opened the door for them and said, "You ladies shouldn't be out here past your bed time." Star giggled and Jackie gave me a look that said, 'Don't push your luck."
As the three of us entered, we were stunned to find someone standing in my living room, someone I didn't recognize. He didn't even look like he was from this world. He had three eyes, purple skin, and horns sticking out of his head.
Before I could even ask who the hell this person was, Star uttered a name that seemed all too familiar, "T-Tom?"
Author's Note: Hello. Long time no see. I know I haven't updated this story in forever, the reason why is simple, I joined the military. The recless schedule being in the military brings, along with a long period of depression and suicidal thoughts, didn't leave me with a lot of time to write stories, but don't worry, I'm still gonna finish this story, there's probably seven or eight chapters left (maybe less).