Here's is yet another version of Haruka's childhood. But it's a real short one.
But it's my first fanfic on the net. If you have comments send them to me!

Luna [email protected]

The Meaning Of Popsicle Fudge

It was a nice hot day. The sky was clear, the birds were singing...
" Here you go, Hotaru-chan!" Michiru gave her one of those Popsicle fudge.
"Arigato!" said the little girl, already licking her treat.
" Want one too, Haruka?" Michiru asked, giving her a Popsicle fudge.
Haruka looked at it with sad eyes.
" What's wrong, Haruka?" she asked again, a bit worried.
" It's just it..It's nothing..." Haruka answered.
Michiru could see in her eyes that something was definitely wrong.
" I don't think so. Tell me what's wrong!"
" It's just...the memories that it brings back to me..."
" The Popsicle fudge?" Michiru asked bit confused


It was a snowy January night. In the hall of a hospital, a man was waiting for his little boy
to get born. It's going to be wonderful, he thought. He could already imagine it: they'll play
baseball together, he'll show him how to shave and all the other dad/son stuff. He could hardly
wait. A nurse came to him saying: "Congratulation, Mr. Tenoh! It's a girl!" Then, all of his
dreams broke. It was a girl! But they said it was suppose to be a boy!


" So your father didn't want you?" Michiru asked, a bit sad.
"You could say he hated for coming into his life.


She was very curious of the world around her. She always looked distant so she was named Haruka.
Her mother was kind and caring. But her father still hasn't forgiven her for ruining his life.
One day, when Haruka was only one year old, she was watching the TV as her father was zapping
through the channels. He stopped on a F1 race. Haruka looked at it with big eyes. She was amazed
by the speed of those things with wheels. They were cooler than her plastic cars.
" Yuck! Another F1 race!" Her father changed the channel.
That made her cry. She wanted to see the cars again! She cried really hard.
" Shut up!" he yelled at her, which made her cry even harder.
Her mother heard her crying from the kitchen and came to see what was wrong.
" Can't you see she's crying!" she yelled at her husband.
" She's not my responsibility!" he answered coldly, without stopping to look at the TV.
" Come with mommy, honey. I'll give you a treat!" Haruka followed her mother to the kitchen.
Her mommy gave her a Popsicle fudge and Haruka stopped crying.


" So that's why the fudge reminded you that." Michiru said.
" Yes. From that day, each time I fell and cried, each time I wetted my bed and cried,
each time I just felt lonely and cried, my mother gave me a Popsicle fudge."
" Haruka, you were a crybaby?" Michiru asked, surprised.
" Hey, don't laugh! Anyway, for me, receiving a Popsicle fudge meant: 'don't worry.
I'm here, don't cry anymore.'"


" Mommy! I don't wanna go!!!"
" But honey, Mommy and Daddy have to go to work! Don't worry, the lady at the daycare is
really nice. And you'll make lots of friends! Mommy will be back at four o'clock." Her mom gave
her a Popsicle fudge to make her stop crying and kissed her on the cheek before leaving her to
daycare. Haruka sat, alone in a corner of the room filled with five years old kids.
" Hey! You! Gimme that Popsicle!" an older and taller boy asked her.
" No! It's mine! My mommy gave it to me!" She answered, holding back her Popsicle. The
boy called his gang and they picked on her all day while the lady who was suppose to watch wasn't
watching. The boys broke the other kid's toys, made them cry and they told the lady it was
Haruka who did it and she got blamed and punished each time.


" That's when I started to hate men. Every girl I knew was nice. Only boys were mean."
" Haruka, you never told me that!" said Michiru.
" I never told anybody...."

At four o'clock, Haruka thought her mother would come to take her away from this awful place. But
she didn't came. Haruka was sad. Her mommy told her she'd be back at four. Maybe she abandoned
her. Maybe she didn't want her anymore. She began to cry...But at five, her mother finally got
there. Haruka ran into her arms.
" I'm sorry, honey. But mommy got caught in the traffic! Let's go home now!"
" Mommy! I don't wanna return here! Mommy, say you'll never leave me!"
" I'll never leave you! If you don't want to come back, then Mommy will try to convince
her boss to let her bring you to work. Don't worry. I'm here, don't cry anymore. I'll give you a
Popsicle fudge when we get home!"


" And did your mother got you to daycare the day after?" asked Michiru.
" No. Even if she wanted to, she couldn't anymore."
" Uh? How come?"


After giving her daughter her fudge, Haruka's mother had to leave to do some errands. But hours
after, she hadn't came back yet.
" Daddy, when do Mommy come back?" asked the little girl.
" I don't know! Now go to bed!" he ordered coldly.
Haruka was going to go when someone knocked at the door. Her father went to open. It was a police
officer. Haruka watched from behind and heard their conversation.
" Mr.Tenoh?"
" Yes? What's wrong?"
" I have to tell you that unfortunately your wife.....Got killed in a car accident. I'm
Haruka was shocked. This wasn't possible! Her mother just told her that she'd never leave her!
She ran to her room, and started to cry as she never cried before. How she wished that someone
would give a Popsicle fudge saying: 'don't worry.' I'm here, don't cry anymore.'


" I knew your mother was dead but I didn't knew you lost her when you were so young!"
Michiru said, really sorry for her lover.
" And I learned that the one who crashed into her in the accident was a drunk man... It's
always men's fault for my pain and sadness!"


Haruka's father didn't want to pay to leave her to daycare so he just left the five years old
girl alone at home. Anyway Haruka didn't want to go back to daycare. It made one week since her
mother's death, but Haruka couldn't let go of her pain and sadness. She cried each time she saw
the Popsicle fudge box in the freezer. She just couldn't forget her mother. No one was there to
give her love anymore. She never felt so lonely.
" Mommy...when are you coming back home?"
She got out of the house by the unlock back door. She went to the park that was near her house.
Her mother used to bring her there every Sunday. No one was in the park. She sat on a swing but
nobody's been there to push her...She began to cry again....
" What's wrong? Why do you cry?" a sweet girly voice asked.
A little girl, just a bit younger than Haruka, with short green hair. She looked at Haruka with
sweet eyes. She seemed nice to her. But still, Haruka didn't like strangers.
" Go away! I don't need anybody!" she yelled at the little girl, still crying.
" I gotta go, I think my mommy is calling me! Here! Take this!"
The little girl gave her a Popsicle fudge and ran away.


" Now that I think of it, were you that little girl, Michiru?"
" Uh? I don't know. I don't remember...."
" Anyway, from that day, I really wanted to be loved again. And the only one I thought
maybe could was my father.........."


Haruka knew her father always wanted a boy. So she thought that maybe if she acted like a boy,
her father would love her. But she hated men! How could she act like one? But being loved was
more important now than her pride. So during the years, Haruka really started to look and act
like a boy. She didn't wear her cute little skirts anymore! She wore the boy's uniform now. But
it didn't worked. Her father didn't love her more. In fact, he hated her even more.
" Stop acting like that! You're a disgrace to manhood!" he always yelled at her.
Haruka was now ten years old. She had learned to stop crying everytime pain hit her. She saw
that even if she acted like a boy, her father wouldn't ever love her. But she decided to continue
to act like that because now the boys at school thought she was a boy too. So that way they
didn't pick on her anymore. And she knew that men had more advantage in the society. She could
follow her dream of becoming a racer. Her father treated her like her personal slave. But she was
strong enough to survive the pain. All that pain made her grow like a smart and strong woman.
She was able to go through the toughest life.


" When I became fourteen, I told my father I was leaving home. He didn't try to stop me. He just
let me go. I lived alone for a while until someone made me meet the most wonderful girl!"
" Oh? And who was that wonderful girl?" Michiru asked even if she knew the answer.
" What do you think?" Haruka answered, smiling to her.
" It must be hard to live without a family...."
" No. Because now you and the others have become my family, Michiru. I no longer feel
like I have to be loved. Because now I am."
Later, Haruka stood alone on the balcony of her house to watch the sunset. She remembered the way
her mother used to say: " Honey, don't cry anymore. Mommy is here."
Some tears rolled down her beautiful eyes...
" Don't worry. I'm here, don't cry anymore." said a sweet voice full of love. Haruka
turned around and saw Michiru, giving her a Popsicle fudge........